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shogo
26-03-16, 00:58
I've never been in a relationship and any times I've tried I get enormous overwhelming anxiety before it goes anywhere. Does anyone else get this?

NoPoet
26-03-16, 18:15
Yes. Getting into a relationship is a significant change to your lifestyle, and any change, even for the better, can be frightening or difficult, particularly for someone with bad anxiety. You probably talk yourself out of it before it happens.

You will also most likely need to make the first move. This is very hard for anyone with anxiety. Don't ever rely on her to make the move, because "equality". EDIT: Many of the women who made the first move on me had something badly wrong with them. I'm not saying every forward, modern woman is a murderer, but to be honest, it is probably better for you if you make the first move. Sorry PC squad, that's how it is.

Being in a relationship can be fantastic: you get companionship, love, affection, and if she's halfway decent she will compliment you a lot. Men do not tend to get many compliments and receive very little overt attention (although trust me, nearly every man DOES get at least SOME attention that he never notices).

Going from getting very little (obvious) attention, to suddenly having a woman swooning over you, is actually very challenging and it can damage your self esteem, as you'll be thinking "Why does only this one person think I'm attractive?" She won't be the only person, but she's the only person who will tell you directly. This is something most people don't think about, but it damaged me considerably until I understood how it works, and it's worth bearing in mind so you don't get hurt by it.

You will also have another person to think about. Suddenly it won't be all about you. Your life will change a lot and you will definitely need to raise your game. This is the main thing - both people in a relationship have to be equal partners or it's game over. You will need to combat your anxiety and enter situations that may be very anxiety-provoking. Thankfully, that's how anxiety is permanently beaten.

akb
27-03-16, 15:07
Hi there

The main reason that you cant form a relAtionship because of anxiety is that youre afraid of rejection because of your anxiety.

Next time you meet a promising date partner, I think its fine to tell her about your problem. If she reacts negatively, youve done yourself a favor. Dont forget that a
girl may have similar issues to yourself