Vaginismus

[jennielouises]

Does anyone else have Vaginismus? I love my dh very much and we want to ttc but my body just closes up when we are trying to do the baby dance

[KatiePink]

Me!

I understand your struggle and instantly you have my sympathy, but let me tell you that you can overcome it as hard and impossible as it may seem. Have you spoke to your GP?
Make sure you have a check up just to confirm everything is 'in order'. Have you always had it or is this a new thing? Either way there are treatments available but it takes a lot of work from yourself, it is 'in your mind' but it is also real and physical, the muscles have learnt a pattern and basically they need to be retrained. People have very slow progress and others it can happen much quicker for, there are dilator kits you can purchase as well as practicing diaphragmatic breathing and relaxation of pelvic floor.




:bighug:

[jennielouises]

Hi :)

Yeah I went to see the GP and have had a check up. Nothing is physically wrong with me. I have been referred to a sex clinic but feel a bit nervous about going and don't even know where the letter is now :blush:

Have you had any treatment for it. The kits you mention freak me out as well.:unsure:

I haven't always had it. It's only really been since my stomach issues got worse and it was either painful once due to IBS or I was worrying I would get sick (I am recovering from emetophobia) and therefore my muscles learnt the pattern.

Have you always had it?

[KatiePink]

Hi :)

Yeah I went to see the GP and have had a check up. Nothing is physically wrong with me. I have been referred to a sex clinic but feel a bit nervous about going and don't even know where the letter is now :blush:

Have you had any treatment for it. The kits you mention freak me out as well.:unsure:

I haven't always had it. It's only really been since my stomach issues got worse and it was either painful once due to IBS or I was worrying I would get sick (I am recovering from emetophobia) and therefore my muscles learnt the pattern.

Have you always had it?

That's great, i can understand you feeling nervous but you really are doing the right thing. Make sure you tell them if you're uncomfortable at any time or would like to take a breather.

Sorry if TMI, I developed it about 5 years ago to the point that intercourse(of anything!!) was impossible, it's the worst thing to deal with as i never spoke to anyone about it except my partner, the fear of not being able to conceive also played a huge part in my anxiety.
I developed a fear of penetration, due to painful experiences, and the thought of using those dilator kits freaked me out too. It took me a long time and a lot of practice, i had to schedule in time for myself where i could be relaxed and take my time, take away any pressure i put on myself to 'get it done' and just go with it. Basically started back at basics.

More often than not i had no luck at all, sometimes i would be able to get a tiny bit inside but i would panic then and not continue.
My therapist advised me that if things are not going well not to get worked up, do the diaphragmatic breathing i had learnt to relax the muscles, change positions ect and try again.
When i did manage to insert some of it she told me to stop with just a little inside and do the breathing again, so the muscles learn to relax around it, keep it there for a while to get used to it and then try a bit more or slowly pull out.

The main thing that helped me was learning how to truly relax and finding the best positions so the angle was easier. Being aroused most definitely helps the whole process whenever possible :blush:

There's quite a lot online about peoples personal journeys, you may not see lots of success stories but i put that down to the fact that those people are off enjoying there 'thing' and too busy to update people or post their story. I think many women do just give up because it's so emotionally challenging, and especially when you have the pressure of wanting to conceive.

I really hope it goes well for you i would definitely encourage the referral you have. Just make sure your GP knows how big an issue this is for you and how much it is impacting your life,

https://www.vaginismus.com/faqs/vaginismus-pregnancy/biological-clock-ticking/