Agression

[Krakers]

Hi all - just a bit of quick background before I ask a quick question.

My doc changed my meds to Chlordiazepoxide the week before last, and since I've started taking them I've had no anxiety at all. I've been to all the places I wanted to go and pushed the boundaries of my "safe zone" by about another 10 miles. I've even ben back to places I was avoiding and started working again.

Now I've had trouble sleeping for the longest time. So the doc prescribed me 3 tablets at night and 1 in the morning when I get up. I presume the 3 at night were to knock me out, but they just don't.

I've been keeping a diary and the earliest I've been to sleep is 5.30am and the latest 11am. Now I'm normally a grumpy person in a morning anyway if I get woken up before I'm ready to wake. The reason I mention this it might be related to my question.

I've also reduced my alcohol intake massively from upto 30 units a day to no more than 10 and on two occassions actually managed to drink nothing at all last week. Again, not sure if this is related.

The question is this - yesterday I felt aggressive all day. Aggressive to the point of wanting to be destructive and didn't have a kind word for anyone. It wasn't a bad mood, it was me feeling violent all day (I did control it, but it felt like I was on a fuse so short I was about to explode). This really insn't me, and it was unpleasant to say the least.

Has anyone else either had this reaction from meds, lack of sleep, or alcohol withdrawal ??????

I did try and go see my doc today, but their usual practice of making an appointment by 8.30 or they're full for the day caught me out again (you just can't get through).

I've convinced them to give me an emergency appointment tomorrow, but its at 8.35 - theres a good chance I'll have to stay up all night just to make it there.

The agression has really got me worried - who'd want to live with a person like that ? I know I wouldn't. Today seems ok again - managed to get off at 5am last night so had 8 hours sleep.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Krakers.

[davidthegnome]

Hey bud, was wondering how you were, it's been a while since you've beaten my Alex in Danger score.

You know, I've felt like that at times too and it scared me. I wasn't sleeping well either at the time and was really anxious pretty much constantly. Like one day I just was really angry for no apparent reason, the dog barking made me mad and everything my sister said seemed to make me angry, even though there was no real reason for it.

When I thought about how angry I was and realized there was no real reason I should have been so angry, I got pretty scared. I was worried about losing control and lashing out at people - I never did, but I worried about it all the same.

There's been days like that for me, though rare, days when I just feel like I want to break something or snap at people. Like you, I can control it, I just don't know where it comes from. My mom tells me I've got a lot of suppressed anger, but I don't think I do as generally I am not an angry person. I don't think you are either.

You say you were feeling violent, but perhaps it was anxiety manifesting itself in another way? Some of us get anxious when we become angry (or feel really aggressive) because we fear harming those we love or losing control. In my experience, this doesn't happen, I don't think you'll lose control or hurt anyone, but the fear of doing so, and the destructive feeling can definitely be scary.

That said, I'm not really familiar with the meds you're on but I have read that numerous meds can make you irritable or angry. I tend to be grumpy in the morning myself, particularly after I've had a really poor night's sleep. I think it's only natural to feel like breaking stuff when you're exhausted all the time and can't rest. Plus your body is pretty much running on adrenaline a lot.

Alcohol withdrawal, or any kind of withdrawal for that matter, can really come out in strange ways too. I don't think it's really that strange that you've had some feelings of aggression or even wanting to be destructive. The important is that you can and have controlled it. I know that when I've tried to quit smoking I've been a big jerk at times. Never had a kind word for anyone then, was always irritable or just angry in general.

Is there any possibility that you're afraid of your anger? You say you felt aggressive and violent, but did that scare you? If it did it could also be anxiety related.

Sorry I don't have more to tell you, I think you're doing alright though, you've realized how you've felt and stayed in control, for which I think you deserve applause. Just keep at it man, let us know how it goes with the Doc. I hope you feel better soon.

Good luck and god bless you,

Dave

[PanickyPolly]

I used to get agressive a lot...trashed my whole flat once but had nothing to do with meds. Could be related to the anxiety itself.

[Krakers]

Hi Dave - It didn't scare me, the downright irrationaility of it was probably feeding my aggression and making it worse. I was becoming mad at myself for being mad.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with the smoking issue. I've quit about 6 times now, everything from 3 months to a year and a half. The first 2 weeks I kind of felt the same as I did yesterday. I was horrible to people, I knew I was being horrible, I knew it wasn't acceptable, yet it still came out my mouth.

I couldn't even bring myself to apologise even though I knew I was wrong.

Maybe it is the withdrawal rather than the meds.

As for beating your Alex Score - its not impossible, but round one has to be perfect for that all important bonus, and round 3 was damn short on jewels. I will get there though :):):):)

Krakers.