So very scared, pretty sure I have cancer.

[Pastycakes]

I've posted on here before about what's been going on with me. It seems to be one thing after another and everything is just getting worse.

I have a severe iron deficiency. My hemoglobin is below 10 and my ferritin is 5. Slightly low hemoglobin is normal for me, but it's due to thalassemia. My ferritin has never (to my knowledge) been that low. I also have a history of gallstones and GERD. Been on Nexium for the last year.

I went to the GI doctor today. She is definitely worried about the iron. I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy on 4/18 and a endoscopy on 4/25. I'm terrified. I'm scared to be sedated, I'm scared of the results. I'm so sure I have some sort of cancer that's causing all of this. I'm 27 with two young children and I just want to cry every time I look at them.


This might be TMI, but:
In the last few weeks (seems to have started after starting iron supplements) I've had loose stools, dark stools, food goes right through me, mucus that seems to have a little bit of a reddish tint, tiny black specs, and a couple of times there was a red color coming off the stool in the toilet water. This kind of stuff hasn't happened before, and now I'm freaking out because all of these things point to cancer. After I told the GI doctor all of this, she agreed she thinks I am seeing blood and that the source of my iron deficiency is most likely a problem in my GI tract. I really feel totally doomed right now. Anyone have any success stories with this kind of thing? :sad:

[Potatopotato]

I think if your doctor was worried about something sinister, you'd have been referred much sooner than that.

You may have given yourself some gastro troubles by worrying so much, who knows. At 27 it's probably nothing serious. Although I'm 23 and I'm convinced I'm going to be that 1-in-a-million case, so I know my reassurances are worthless.

I look forward to your update on this to say the tests came out absolutely fine :)

[ItsNick]

Have you tried one of those Fecal Blood tests? Since this has all started with me, my bowel habits have been so inconsistent. Yellowish sometimes, black specs, dark spots mixed with regular, sometimes a little red coming off like you described. Constipation, loose. It goes through my mind that I have some issues there, but I've been told if there is blood, you'll know it. Tarry black or a serious red. The likelihood of you having a cancer like this at your age isn't very good. And if it was something the Doctor was extremely concerned with, I'd like to believe they would get you scheduled for the tests much sooner.

Please keep us updated!

[Pastycakes]

Thanks guys. I try to tell myself it's the worry causing my issues, but the iron deficiency is what really worries me. And now that I have the bowel changes, that just worries me even more. Nick, that sounds a lot like me too. Not so much constipation, but very unpredictable. I thought the doctor would have given me one of the stool tests today, but she just went straight to scheduling the scopes. Which scares me. She seemed really worried and even mentioned cancer as a possibility we needed to rule out. The days they scheduled the tests for were the first ones they had, so I feel like they are trying to get me in asap.

All day today, I've had loose stools, very dark with black stuff in it. I dread going to the bathroom and even eating because I know it'll just go right through me. I've also had lower back pain, hip pain and groin pain that goes down my legs. I'm afraid if it's cancer, it's already spread to my lymph nodes.

[ItsNick]

Is it the bloodwork the raised concerns for the doctor right away? Or the bowel movements?

[31andcounting]

I am going to introduce myself as Ms. Worse Case Scenario. I always think I have cancer, I have a cancer phobia...i am not even sure if there is such a thing? Anyway...occult blood in the stool could be numerous things beside cancer. Benign polyps, colitis, chron's disease, diverticulitis, stomach ulcers....if your physician thought you had blood in the stool, she would have done an occult blood test. It is a stool sample on a card with some solutions-simple office procedure and very inexpensive. The end of April for your procedures? Are they waiting for insurance prior auths? Seems like a long time. I know how such a long wait can seem like an eternity...just take it one day at a time and love those babies of yours. :-) Do not let your worry rob you of the happy memories you can be making right at this moment. :hugs:

[ServerError]

31andcounting -

Your last sentence is superb. It sums up right there what us anxiety sufferers need to try and do.

[Pastycakes]

Nick, yes. I went to a hematologist and she found the iron deficiency and referred me to a gastroenterologist. It took over a month to finally get an appointment.

I have the cancer phobia too! It is definitely a thing. The gastroenterologist said she does think I have blood in my stool from what I've told her. She hasn't seen it or tested it or anything. She said from my ferritin levels, I have to be bleeding internally somewhere. She said she thinks it's coming from the lower GI tract, so I'm getting the colonoscopy first. I thought I would get the scopes done sooner, but they said those were the soonest appointments. They're all booked up until 4/18.

I want nothing more than to love on my kiddos, but I just always want to cry and I don't want them to see that. My fatigue is so bad, I can barely take care of myself or them. Everything hurts and aches, even simple tasks feel impossible.

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31andcounting -

Your last sentence is superb. It sums up right there what us anxiety sufferers need to try and do.

Absolutely! I kick myself in the ass every day because I feel like I didn't make the most of it. It's just hard to be happy and have fun when you feel so doomed.

[31andcounting]

That is when you look at yourself in the mirror, right your own eyes...and you tell...and I mean TELL yourself..."I am fine." At that very moment, that very second....you are fine. You are alive, you are breathing, and if worry is your biggest foe, then kick its butt. I will gladly carry my cross of anxiety...it sucks and I get so very afraid and feel so very vulnerable and alone...but there is a rational part of me that helps me through it all. Maybe it is because of what I have seen in my profession? But you can do this. And you will persevere.

[Pastycakes]

Thank you for that, really. I appreciate everyone on here more than I can say. I can usually snap myself out of it. I've had plenty of times when I thought I had something horrible, but this time is the absolute worst. Especially because the doctors are actually concerned and believe there is something wrong. I've never been here before. I will try what you said to do. Thank you again for the support! :bighug1:

[countrygirl]

If you are taking iron supplements then all your gastric symptoms could be caused by the supplement ( black bits in stools etc) so a perfectly plausable explanation.
Nexium will stop you absorbing vitamins/iron etc from your food, its a well known side effect so any pre existing slight anaemia will be made worse by this drug. Did they not tell you to take supplements when they prescribed this drug?
Worst case scenario at your age is much more likely to be an inflammatory bowel condition that is not nice but controllable and not cancer.
IF they really thought you had cancer you would have got your tests done in days not weeks.
Sedations is wonderful:) you know nothing about the proceedures until you are suddenly there and they are talking toyou and you feel ever so calm as well.

[Pastycakes]

Yeah, the poo issues seem to be a lot worse with the iron supplements. I've been taking them for a few weeks, but there's no sign of it getting better. I think the black specs started with the iron, but I'm not sure. Now I'm looking back and trying to remember if I had any of these problems before.. but I wasn't obsessing over it like I am now, so I just don't know.

They definitely didn't say anything at all about taking iron with the Nexium. I asked the doctor yesterday if she thought the Nexium could be doing this and she said it might be contributing, but can't be the sole reason. I guess I'm so scared because the doctor is so sure there's something up. And the fact that I am so sore and achey all over.. I've never felt so awful. Even my groin, armpits, and neck are sore. So I'm also worried that something has spread to the lymph nodes.

---------- Post added at 12:35 ---------- Previous post was at 12:33 ----------

The sedation scares me because I have mitral valve prolapse and I've been having a lot of palpitations lately. My blood pressure is usually pretty low too. Just scared of some sort of complication because of those things. Maybe I'll ask them to start out with a lighter dose than usual.

[ItsNick]

Are your lymph nodes swollen? I notice you said you're achy in all the places lymph nodes are noticeable. I think if it spread to your nodes, all of them, they'd be pretty swollen... Is any of that going on?

[Pastycakes]

I don't THINK they're swollen, but I don't usually check them often, so I'm not sure what they normally feel like. The groin seems to be the worst. Sometimes it hurts to walk.