PanicMom
29-03-16, 18:32
Hello!
This is my first post, and I'm so relieved to find a whole world of other people like me. I can't wait to read all your stories and learn how you cope with health anxiety.
But first... here's mine. (It makes me feel better to talk about it.)
I guess the background is that I've had a couple of legitimate health scares in the past. At 22 I had an abnormal Pap smear that everyone said was nothing but I just had to have procedure after procedure after procedure to address it as the results from each came up fishy. I became pretty convinced at that time that I was going to die. Then, this past winter (at 30), I had another abnormal pap. Even though this time around everything looks fine, between that and some iffy moles my dermatologist decided to remove (also fine), I've kind of gone into a health anxiety tailspin.
My complaints:
1) I'm being treated for a possible case of interstitial cystitis. This is a real thing that I'm really dealing with (UTI symptoms every other month), and the treatments (antibiotics every time my husband and I are intimate) seem to be working. So at least I don't obsess quite so much over that anymore - although I do worry about drug resistance.
2) The worry that makes my family think I'm crazy relates to my fingernails. A couple of months ago, I noticed a dent in my right thumbnail. I've had vertical ridges for a while, but this was a horizontal dent. I read that, if these are on all your nails, these are Beau's lines and can indicate a serious health problem. Of course I began obsessing over my nails and became convinced that I had smaller dents on all my nails.
I've also convinced myself on and off that I have Terry's Nails, the beginning stages of clubbing, vertical stripes indicating melanoma, and psoriatic arthritis. I know that most of this is in my head because I can look at my nails and they look completely normal and the longer I stare, they seem to be changing colors on me. Also, I've had stinging on and off in both my fingernails and toenails.
I've had my dermatologist, my gynecologist, my dad (who's a doctor) and my mom (who's a nurse) all look at my nails and none of them think there's anything to worry about. My primary care physician said she could test me for syphillis, but we both ruled that possibility out. The prevailing theory is that I scratched off some gel nail polish I wore to my friend's wedding on Halloween and am now dealing with the fallout.
The original dent is *so close* to being grown out, and I'm hoping (although doubting) that my fears will go away with it.
3) In February, I thought I found a lump in my breast. As it turns out, I'm skinny and have been doing self-breast exams wrong You're not supposed to probe in there, as you might be feeling your ducts and lobes. If you use a flat hand, you'll be able to feel just concerning growths. Good to know. (And a little embarrassing, considering I went to the doctor for this.)
4) My newest concern, I admit, is absurd. Again, this relates to my nails. When my doctor saw my nails, she said if the vertical ridges were deeper they'd worry about my lungs. So of course that got me worrying about lung cancer.
To clarify - I am 30 years old and have never smoked. I haven't been experiencing any coughing or shortness of breath. I've gotten my blood count done twice in the last six months, and both times everything but my Vitamin D was completely normal.
But today, I noticed some tension under my collarbones. And then I started thinking maybe there was a tumor under there. I've also been really tired and have lost some weight... but those could both be attributed to my anxiety. I know I haven't been eating much lately. (Bright side - I still poop like a rock star. :roflmao:) My husband is getting over a cold, so I'm guessing I'm starting to get that... but I can't stop the worry!!
I guess my question is: When DO I see a doctor? It doesn't seem to make anything better (only intense worrying until I see test results), but then again I'm worried that I'll ignore something that's really serious.
I've attached some pictures of my nails, including the one with the dent in it. I'm guessing I'm the only one who sees all the things that can be horribly wrong.
Thank you in advance for your support! <3
This is my first post, and I'm so relieved to find a whole world of other people like me. I can't wait to read all your stories and learn how you cope with health anxiety.
But first... here's mine. (It makes me feel better to talk about it.)
I guess the background is that I've had a couple of legitimate health scares in the past. At 22 I had an abnormal Pap smear that everyone said was nothing but I just had to have procedure after procedure after procedure to address it as the results from each came up fishy. I became pretty convinced at that time that I was going to die. Then, this past winter (at 30), I had another abnormal pap. Even though this time around everything looks fine, between that and some iffy moles my dermatologist decided to remove (also fine), I've kind of gone into a health anxiety tailspin.
My complaints:
1) I'm being treated for a possible case of interstitial cystitis. This is a real thing that I'm really dealing with (UTI symptoms every other month), and the treatments (antibiotics every time my husband and I are intimate) seem to be working. So at least I don't obsess quite so much over that anymore - although I do worry about drug resistance.
2) The worry that makes my family think I'm crazy relates to my fingernails. A couple of months ago, I noticed a dent in my right thumbnail. I've had vertical ridges for a while, but this was a horizontal dent. I read that, if these are on all your nails, these are Beau's lines and can indicate a serious health problem. Of course I began obsessing over my nails and became convinced that I had smaller dents on all my nails.
I've also convinced myself on and off that I have Terry's Nails, the beginning stages of clubbing, vertical stripes indicating melanoma, and psoriatic arthritis. I know that most of this is in my head because I can look at my nails and they look completely normal and the longer I stare, they seem to be changing colors on me. Also, I've had stinging on and off in both my fingernails and toenails.
I've had my dermatologist, my gynecologist, my dad (who's a doctor) and my mom (who's a nurse) all look at my nails and none of them think there's anything to worry about. My primary care physician said she could test me for syphillis, but we both ruled that possibility out. The prevailing theory is that I scratched off some gel nail polish I wore to my friend's wedding on Halloween and am now dealing with the fallout.
The original dent is *so close* to being grown out, and I'm hoping (although doubting) that my fears will go away with it.
3) In February, I thought I found a lump in my breast. As it turns out, I'm skinny and have been doing self-breast exams wrong You're not supposed to probe in there, as you might be feeling your ducts and lobes. If you use a flat hand, you'll be able to feel just concerning growths. Good to know. (And a little embarrassing, considering I went to the doctor for this.)
4) My newest concern, I admit, is absurd. Again, this relates to my nails. When my doctor saw my nails, she said if the vertical ridges were deeper they'd worry about my lungs. So of course that got me worrying about lung cancer.
To clarify - I am 30 years old and have never smoked. I haven't been experiencing any coughing or shortness of breath. I've gotten my blood count done twice in the last six months, and both times everything but my Vitamin D was completely normal.
But today, I noticed some tension under my collarbones. And then I started thinking maybe there was a tumor under there. I've also been really tired and have lost some weight... but those could both be attributed to my anxiety. I know I haven't been eating much lately. (Bright side - I still poop like a rock star. :roflmao:) My husband is getting over a cold, so I'm guessing I'm starting to get that... but I can't stop the worry!!
I guess my question is: When DO I see a doctor? It doesn't seem to make anything better (only intense worrying until I see test results), but then again I'm worried that I'll ignore something that's really serious.
I've attached some pictures of my nails, including the one with the dent in it. I'm guessing I'm the only one who sees all the things that can be horribly wrong.
Thank you in advance for your support! <3