Farkas
31-03-16, 10:23
Hello all,
I'm suffering from this phenomenon for almost 20 years now - I feel that a really really long time. I've had very tough times as well as symptom-free (that means worry-free) periods.
But it still keeps coming back. I consider my life to meet my standards, so I can't find the root of this recurring mental state.
I've been mostly dealing with cancer phobia (many types of cancer), and with AIDS-phobia for a short period (this was cleared by a negative test result). I don't avoid doctors usually, and mostly a negative result eliminates my worries. Until the 'next chapter' anyway.
Catchable diseases such as H1N1 and other severe illnesses (ALS for example) have not caught my attention.
Why am I posting here? I'd really like to find the origin of my health anxiety, to know why I'm dealing with it, and of course to find some coping strategies. But mostly to get a grip on where my feeling of guilt is coming from.
Because I'm feeling guilty, and I'm treating illness as a punishment for my deeds. Only I'm not sure what I've done to deserve them. When I'm happy, enjoying life, there's always a lingering thought that I do not deserve it, so going to be punished and will pay the price. 'Something really nasty is going to happen soon'.
I'm a 32 years old male.
I'm suffering from this phenomenon for almost 20 years now - I feel that a really really long time. I've had very tough times as well as symptom-free (that means worry-free) periods.
But it still keeps coming back. I consider my life to meet my standards, so I can't find the root of this recurring mental state.
I've been mostly dealing with cancer phobia (many types of cancer), and with AIDS-phobia for a short period (this was cleared by a negative test result). I don't avoid doctors usually, and mostly a negative result eliminates my worries. Until the 'next chapter' anyway.
Catchable diseases such as H1N1 and other severe illnesses (ALS for example) have not caught my attention.
Why am I posting here? I'd really like to find the origin of my health anxiety, to know why I'm dealing with it, and of course to find some coping strategies. But mostly to get a grip on where my feeling of guilt is coming from.
Because I'm feeling guilty, and I'm treating illness as a punishment for my deeds. Only I'm not sure what I've done to deserve them. When I'm happy, enjoying life, there's always a lingering thought that I do not deserve it, so going to be punished and will pay the price. 'Something really nasty is going to happen soon'.
I'm a 32 years old male.