Advice needed on possible harrassment

[Xtrastrongbint]

Hi :)

So, a couple of months ago I was well and was running my own business removing tattoos by laser.

I had a customer, whom I'd previously met at a party 10 years previously and said hi and bye to, who came and got some removal done. He stated he was a paranoid schizophrenic which is fine (despite me actually having a huge fear of mental illness - irony at its best). I did the treatment but he was finding it extremely painful (which it is - ya know, being a laser! And the tattoo was on his neck which is sensitive). I advised him to buy Emla cream which has painkiller in it but he wouldn't listen.

Instead he started harassing me. He made allegations that I'd turned up the laser to hurt him on purpose, I was trying to emasculate him, that I was in cahoots with my ex boyfriend (who he remembered from the party despite my ex never having spoken to him) etc etc.

At first it was one message - I explained he was wrong and why in a reply (I was very polite despite being incredibly annoyed). I then said he should find somewhere else to do the lasering.

He then became very angry and started messaging me much more and then also started messaging my friends (who'd also met him at that party) telling them what I'd done to him and being rude and abusive to them.

At this point I saw the police and told them what had happened. They asked if I wanted them to have a chat with him. I said no as I didn't want to make it worse so blocked him on all media and stated that if he contacted me again I would get the police involved. He managed to email me and threatened to take me to court but I ignored it.

All of this blew my anxiety sky high. I find criticism really hard to deal with especially as this guy was telling lies about me. It really hit me hard and I've actually had to close my business because my anxiety over this became so hard to deal with.

But, here's the rub...I got another text from him last night from another phone number (he signed the text). This time accusing a friend of mine of sending thugs to his house.....I am literally at a loss at what to do...I haven't replied but I'm getting sick of this. I've blocked this new no now too but he could just keep doing this forever. He is certainly, very unwell at the moment, not only am I concerned for me and my safety but what about his? Surely someone should be keeping an eye on this kind of stuff? So what do I do Police? Ignore? Message his mum (I know she's on Facebook)? At a loss right now :ohmy:

[Fishmanpa]

You told him you would get the police involved. Do so. You have the evidence. I wouldn't think twice. If he's as unstable as you say and his actions affirm, I wouldn't mess around.

Positive thoughts

[Xtrastrongbint]

Thanks FP - it's a hard one to judge because I wonder if I'm just being too sensitive because of my anxiety. He hasn't threatened me in any way, just been very rude and strange. Is that harassment? I'm questioning myself as normally, I'd tear someone a new one if they upset me but because my anxiety is high I literally have no idea how to handle it...to be honest the whole thing scares me....

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's harassment, don't involve yourself any further and allow the police to deal with it.

This is clearly a problem with his schizophrenia and the police can decide he needs a sectioning review. This sounds very likely because his meds should be dealing with this and something is wrong.

Violence is rare in paranoid schizophrenia from what I've read on medical websites, despite the isolated extreme cases the media report on or the sensationalism in TV programmes, as it's more associated with drug or alcohol abuse.

You will be doing him a favour reporting it, he needs help to get his condition under control.

If they stop their meds, these things happen. We know how poor doctors can be so I wouldn't rely on leaving someone to spot it.

Another member has a brother who suffers episodes like this and his psychosis had him completely believing people were trying to get him. His family got him sectioned and back on meds and he was doing a lot better.

If he is experiencing an episode like this, you can't reason over it, he can't see it any other way.

It doesn't mean you have to have him charged but it's a wake up call to the family and someone stepping in to get him assessed and treated.

[Buster70]

Hi , can relate to this as I work for myself selling on flee bay , every now and then I get someone who seems to want to create problems just for the hell of it I'll try and sort things out and they just keep going at it message after message had one who I made the mistake of giving my number to hed ring time after time on different numbers if I didn't pick up , it really grinds you down and puts you on edge , I get so wound up with them I usually let my partner deal with it as she's not directly involved , the worst thing you can do is keep replying to them it just adds fuel to the fire , ignore them long enough and they usually move on to some one else , keep a record of any texts or calls incase the police do get involved , there are days when I wish I didn't have a phone or internet life used to seem a lot simpler when you couldn't be contacted 24/7 , ps my dad was a tattooist in the 70s to 90s i look at people getting necks faces and hands and think you're going to regret that when it fades and gets old , you are doing a good thing don't let one person take it away , take care .

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree that XSB shouldn't get involved as I think it's engaging in their "world" and this guy cannot rationalise. But I would report it, whilst his paranoia is ongoing XSB has the hassle and he is also ill.

You can't reason with someone in an episode of psychosis or delusion, it's one for the professionals. Someone in a delusional episode could believe they have 3 arms and no matter how many doctors held a mirror up to them, they would disagree as in their mind they are totally correct and their belief is unshakeable.

[Xtrastrongbint]

Thanks guys...I haven't replied (well I did but a "sorry we are unable to send this message to the recipient as your telephone number is blocked from their device"). I'm hoping this proves enough to stop him messaging. I think the problem is I'm afraid of the police talking to him in case he accuses me of something and the police believe him which is one of my worst irrational fears!
My boyfriend says I should ignore it and it's not a big deal but obviously that advice is like trying to knit with fog! I wish I could do it anonymously somehow....

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi xtrastrongbint

I would definately do as the other member's have said and contact the police. It's harassment!. This guy has absolutely no right to be making you feel like this. If you do go to the police, hopefully they can make sure he is recieving the appropriate care and monitering. :)

[Pepperpot]

I agree - it is unfortunate he has a mental illness, but it is not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong. You warned him, so follow it up. Don't tell his mam - she is his mam and will more than likely not take it as seriously as you need. x