Don't want to get my first job!!!

[char123]

Hello everyone,

So I'm 17 and have never had a job before but I really need one for the money and the experience. My friend has told me there's openings where she works in a cafe and had asked me if I wanted to give it a go but when I think about it it makes me feel sick and nervous and scared!! It's so annoying. My mind starts racing to things that could happen like I would definitely have to serve people that I knew and I'm scared of making a fool of myself. I go bright red usually when I talk to people I don't know and I'm just really awkward . Like what if they ask me for something and I don't know what that is? I'm just scared of messing up and making a fool out of myself. Also, I've found that Ive become terrible at maths so I'm afraid I'll freeze and won't be able to count the money to give back to the people.

I know I'm over thinking it already and I think it's because of my anxiety. I need a job but I'm so nervous , how am I going to get through life like this?! Do you think I should try it? I'd appreciate any advice or personal experiences so please reply :)

Thanks for reading

[.Poppy.]

Two things:

> When I got my first job I was terrified too. Of all sorts of things. I was afraid I wouldn't know how to clock in, that I would make an idiot out of myself, that my coworkers would hate me, that it would be so obvious I hadn't worked before, and on and on. I worked in a cafe myself and really, it was far from my favorite job but that really had more to do with the specific management and the fact that food service wasn't for me. And that's fine! My mom was a waitress in a cafe when she was younger and she LOVED it. Everyone is different.

> That said, is there any way you can try it out for a couple of weeks and see how it goes? Otherwise, could you apply for a different type of job? I worked for my campus mail service for awhile and loooooved that job, the people were awesome. Now I work in a conference planning office and I love it too. Just food service wasn't for me, but I've found that the people you work with make all the difference, so working with your friend is a big bonus.

What does your friend say about the job? Pros/cons?

As for your specific fears, you won't make a fool out of yourself. You'll be a little unsure for the first month or so just because you're new, and then you'll know it all. Do you have to know how to do quick mental math, or is there a computer to do it for you (at my job we had a cash register that did all of that for us).

[Sunflower2]

My first proper job was as a bartender in a small local pub, and I was also nervous. I'd never worked with money before and had never poured beer taps or spirits before. It definitely took a lot of practice but to me I saw it as a challenge that I wanted to achieve. Yeah I made some horrible mistakes and since it was working at a pub, the locals would make fun of me, but you quickly develop a second skin for these things. The anticipation will definitely be worse than the actual thing, remember that everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes and forgets things - I once gave a table the wrong bill and my boss almost killed me!! If you get nervous or upset, just take a moment to calm yourself down and try again, it really does get easier!!

Since my first job as a bartender, I now work as an engineer and I have to deal with people being difficult and rude to me quite often. It's challenging as I don't have as much experience as is required because I'm still learning, so I do get caught out sometimes and don't know what to say. It's just a learning experience, everyone is the same in a job.. If you're not learning, then you're not in the right job I think!

Got for it and surprise yourself at how you grow and learn to cope! And realise it's not going to be half as bad as you think it will be!

[Lisah34]

I was a stay at home mum for 15 years when i got my first job and my god it was scary but just getting the job gave me huge confidence. That job was only temp for xmas. Then the following year i done the same, temp job for xmas again was so scary but once i got into it i was fine. My current job is my first permant job ive ever had (im 34) again nervous! But this job gave me much more then confidence it gave me a sence of purpose! Its been very hard though as when i started a year ago my youngest was just over 1 and silly me ive let it take over my life, bringing my work home, stressung about the lack of staff on my department even though its not my problem. But it seemed my employer made it my problem. Forever moaning at me if the rota was messed up or we didnt have the staff to cover breaks or when we were busy. I took this all on my shoulders which in turn caused my anxiety to come back due to stress. Im currently signed off work with it. This time off has given me time to reflect and realise just what i was taking on when i didnt need to.point is every job interview and anything new will cause anxiety, breath through it and dont take on more then what you can handle, employers dont care about you they care about what money youre helping to put in their pockets! So think of you and your health. Start of slowly and build yourself up, believe me the benefits of working completely outweigh the downsides of anxiety.

---------- Post added at 10:07 ---------- Previous post was at 09:58 ----------

Also i have a 17 year old daughter in same position. She has aspergers and a social communication disorder and hasnt had a job as yet. Ive advised her to as i know this will help her but i cant force her so we give her a £80 allowence each month (her child benefit). I will add that even with her struggles she goes out with friends she goes to gigs and goes to college everyday doing her a levels. She is my inspiration! If she can get through all her struggles with no help then i can.

[Buster70]

Hi , my first job was a long time ago now but I remember being very nervous most people are , the thing I do know is you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did , you might mess up everyone does but people forget very quickly and move on its harder for anxious people as we over analise it , what you have to remember is you are not a prisoner at work if you mess up feel anxious or panic you can walk out and try again , you will beat you're self up about it if you don't go for it , hope it works out ok for you. Take care