WHY can't I listen to my doctor?!? LYMPH NODE

[Booboo111]

I hate health anxiety... Literally despise it, and the fact that I let it control me...

I did good for almost a few weeks... Then I found a lymph node. A node I posted about once before, that is back. On the middle right side of my neck. Not huge, but slightly enlarged. Soft, a little tender, movable. There may be another small one near it too. I haven't been sick, although my husband and daughter just got over the flu...

Went to my doctor on Friday and she looked me all over and felt all my nodes, everywhere. She said she didn't feel anything concerning. I had been poking and prodding it, like a idiot, and she had to feel it pretty good for her exam. She said - exact words - she didn't have any concern or feel anything swollen that she would want to monitor or do anything about. Fantastic, right?! So why can't I be happy or trust her or let it go?!?

It felt a little bigger Saturday and it's still there today, although I don't think it's grown, and honestly I haven't been able to really leave it alone for long... I've even iced and heated the whole area because my neck is sore, since I've poked it and strained it and have tried not to use it or sleep on it, for fear that I'll make it worse and then literally panic and lose mind.

I hate this.

Anyone have any feedback? Insight? Share in my misery? I hate lymph node des almost as much as I hate health anxiety. I don't know why they scare me so much.... Honestly it's a form of PTSD from all the crap I've read about lymph nodes when I've googled... And I need to stop that too because I feel like it's made everything worse....

[Annoyed]

I have one in the same spot on the left side.

Doctor said the same thing to me too. Called it dinky.

Said the only reason that it was still enlarged is because I poke it. Mine would double in size from poking.

So far... 4 days without touching, and its almost gone.

[Worried1234]

Me too, me too!!

A couple of days ago I was convinced I was dying from Lymphoma (evil, evil Google) but I've been trying to pull myself together since then and the panic is receding slightly.

Thing is, even when I know the enlarged node is down to infection etc I still don't believe it! I didn't even know what a lymph node was a year ago...wish I could go back to then!

Xx

[jc27x]

It felt a little bigger Saturday and it's still there today, although I don't think it's grown, and honestly I haven't been able to really leave it alone for long... I've even iced and heated the whole area because my neck is sore, since I've poked it and strained it and have tried not to use it or sleep on it, for fear that I'll make it worse and then literally panic and lose mind.
....

This is meee!!

Mine doesnt seem bigger but my neck is killing me from being so paranoid to make it worse.
Im scared to aggravate it so I keep as still as poss then I stress and worry because I have a sore neck!
Its a vicious circle.
Mine is like a little bit smaller than the tip of my little finger and it doesnt seem to be getting bigger it just seems to get a bit further from the skin and then come back forward.
Dr didnt even need to see me when I called about it, there was a little infected spot on my ear that i burst and then the node appeared. Even though I know why it came up, it still doesnt ease my mind about the worst.

---------- Post added at 11:26 ---------- Previous post was at 11:21 ----------


I didn't even know what a lymph node was a year ago...wish I could go back to then!

Xx


Tell me about it, I did't know what they were untill about a month ago, I've been obsessed with them ever since.

My cousin was going through tests for Lymphoma at the time and I think that's what has started this off.
He was given the all clear and he had a LOT more symptoms than 1 swollen node!

[Fishmanpa]

It must be the season... there have been a LOT of lymph node posts recently.

I'll say it again.

Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.

Personally, I read these posts and SMH at the irrationality. Having had Squamous Cell Carcinoma in the nodes of my neck, there was no mistaking it. I get the concern.... As a survivor that has been challenged by "scanxiety", I really do BUT no one here has to worry. Nothing anyone is posting is remotely presenting as concerning IMO. I'm not a doctor but I lived it!

I wish you all the willpower to stop poking and prodding and the greater willpower to stop consulting Dr Google and even the greater inner fortitude to treat your anxiety and OCD behaviors about this.

Positive thoughts

[Worried1234]

Thanks Fishmanpa, you make a lot of sense

For me my health anxiety seems to have started after my baby was born last year. Unfortunately my partner has been diagnosed with one of those 'one in ten thousand' type illnesses and he used to joke that nothing can happen to me for our baby's sake, and i think I'm now terrified of getting sick and leaving my baby with no mummy-irrational but a very powerful emotion

I'm happy to hear you're through your own illness and think it's very good of you to take the time to help others with their anxieties and fears

Thanks again

Xx

[Booboo111]

Thank you all - so very much - for taking the time to reply, and share your own stories. How similar!!!

Well guess what?! I woke up with a horribly sore throat, swollen, red tonsils with white patches, and another small node. I'm heading to Express Care to get tested for strep, but either way... It looks like I found my reason! Is that probably why my node(s) came up, even 4-5 days before my throat??

And thank you Fishmanpa!! I was so happy to see a response from you... The knowledgable, rational, sensible, kind survivor King of this whole land!!! I agree with you unequivocally. I go to CBT once a week, but I just changed jobs so I've missed 3 weeks, so I know I need to get back because the pj get I stay away, the harder it is to use and apply my techniques, think as rationally as possible, and calm down...

So we'll see if had strep - bacterial - or just a viral infection, but either way, I'm thinking and hoping it's safe to say I found a root cause to my darned node, which is NOT anything really bad.... Fingers crossed, prayers sent, rational thinking applied. :winks: :doh:

[Josh1234]

treat the anxiety!

[Booboo111]

Well I tested positive for strep! And the doctor said that my sore/stiff neck and the 1 or 2 slightly swollen lymph nodes would definitely be a direct side effect from the strep infection! And she said that they can swell before we get an virus/sickness, since they are working to trying to fight it, and they are doing their job!! So I'm taking that as my dose of "medicine" for the day. And I have my CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) session tomorrow, so I'm back on the Rational Train!! .... For now. And I'll try my damn hardest to stay on!! Thanks again, everyone. I wish you all health, happiness and peace!!!

[jj1995]

Hey you only have one? Lucky you, i have three on my neck.. honestly i have had doctors check over them a number of times and they have all said its perfectly normal. Put it this way, every single person in the whole world have lymph nodes..everyone. So if everyones swell up from time to time we must all have cancer? Mankind would be wiped out. They are meant to be there and if they dont go down its absolutely fine. If they grow to a golf ball then you know somethings up. Until then, get a nice cup of tea, watch a bit of youtube and chill out :)

[hheavenlyangel]

Fishma Pa - You're awesome. So rational.
JJ1995 - You are absolutely right. We all have lymph nodes and from time to time they will swell. I have a node behind my ear that is always up - ALLLLWAYS for years and years and years and Im still alive!

Both Fishman & JJ you knocked me into reality after some anxious thinking... Thank you.

[Fishmanpa]

Fishma Pa - You're awesome. So rational.
JJ1995 - You are absolutely right. We all have lymph nodes and from time to time they will swell. I have a node behind my ear that is always up - ALLLLWAYS for years and years and years and Im still alive!

Both Fishman & JJ you knocked me into reality after some anxious thinking... Thank you.

Thank you Heavenly. Very happy that my words helped.

Positive and rational thoughts ;)

[hheavenlyangel]

Booboo111 - I hope you are feeling better soon. Don't be alarmed if they stay up for a while either. :hugs:

[Captain irrational]

Ah, good old lymph nodes. They save our lives from harmful foreign bodies every single day, but are still a source of so much worry and anxiety for so many people (myself included).

Learn to accept and love your nodes, stop proding them, let them do their job and for the love of God, stay away from google!

[Lifelonganxiety!]

Yep, I have I think 8 or more nodes I can feel in my neck and jawline. Been there for at least 15 years, they go up slightly when I'm sick, but it's pretty normal to feel lumps and bumps on the body.