View Full Version : Nasopharyngeal cancer, anxiety keeps me awake
I started having symptoms of this cancer 2 months ago, since then went to ENT a few times with no good result, until I had an endoscopic examination and they found "a cyst" in my nasopharynx. Previously ultrasound showed two chains of swollen lymph nodes. I'm terrified right now. I have the one-sided ear symptoms like tinnitus, autophony, ear pain, cracking sounds when swollowing, one-sided headache. I know there's something in my nasopharynx and I'm convinced it's cancer. I ASKED for that examination because I researched the symptoms. Otherwise I would have not gotten it.
My family and friends know I'm a hypochondriac so they don't believe me. The doctors said that"it's 99% not cancer", yet they couldn't give me a diagnosis. I consulted 2 ENTs. They didn't even seem to understand my symptoms and the connection.
I'm scared because I've read enough research on this to know it might be cancer. My hope is that it's stage 1 or 2 and not 3 or 4.
I've had health anxiety all my life, but it always went like this: irrational fear, doing tests, perfect results, relief. This time it's been: irrational fear, doing tests, bad results, everything pointing towards me being right from the start. Which is terrifying.
I know how crazy it all sounds and I hope i'm being crazy this one time.
I always approached my health anxiety from more scientific point of view and actually learned plenty about anatomy and medicine. I just don't feel ignorant about this, and if I saw someone with this symptoms and a mass in the nasopharynx (because well, it's a mass) I would tell them it could be cancer and to get diagnosed ASAP. Yet the specialist said it's just in my head.
Not sure what to do with myself. No one to talk to, and I'm home alone, as I live alone. I feel horribly lonely, and the only person who's close to me is my mom, and she lives in another country. She wouldn't even be with me during chemotherapy as she can't leave where she lives right now. She's been trying to calm me down. My biopsy is in 5 days, and the results in 10-15 days.
Help me please. Put my mind at ease
I'm a Head and Neck cancer survivor. Squamous Cell Carcinoma, unknown primary, Stage IV.
Cancer is a uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
The biopsy is and will be the definitive test. That being said, I had my ENT tell me even prior to my biopsy that he thought it was cancer. The only question was what type, stage etc. The fact that your doctors have dismissed your fears and are doing procedures/tests for peace of mind speaks volumes.
Let us know how you make out!
Positive thoughts
Hi, thanks, I will. It's amazing to see someone who had a first hand experience. I'll try to live a normal life until results but it's going to be hard, especially with all the physical symptoms. They say that the wait is the worst but honestly, if the wait means not having to face the result, I don't want it to end. I feel like I don't truly believe it could be cancer, I just really don't want it to be that.
I was going to see my mother this month, for the first time in a long while. I almost want to still go and hear the biopsy results when she's beside me. I'm mentally destroyed. I wish I was more ignorant, but then again I do want to live, and an early diagnosis is always good.
I've read people walked around with a golf sized lymph nodes for a year before being properly diagnosed. They were given antibiotics for ear infection.
Thank you so much for replying
You aren't a doctor. You saw one, they said they were 99% sure it was NOT cancer. Doctors aren't trying to make you feel better; they give people their death sentences daily. They take an oath to treat people. Some of your symptoms are also symptoms of anxiety.
You aren't a doctor. You saw one, they said they were 99% sure it was NOT cancer. Doctors aren't trying to make you feel better; they give people their death sentences daily. They take an oath to treat people. Some of your symptoms are also symptoms of anxiety.
That's what I've been trying to tell myself, but this cancer gets diagnosed very late, and it's one of the rarest there are. And the fact that they couldn't tell me what was actually wrong is not very reassuring.
I'm not sure how I'm gonna live through the next ~10 days
1. It's very rare.
2. You have anxiety.
3. Anxiety causes unexplainable symptoms. I'd back on that first before a rare cancer.
---------- Post added at 13:56 ---------- Previous post was at 13:55 ----------
Also, a cyst can cause issues. I have a cyst in my right testicle that is benign that causes me pain some times cause it hits a nerve.
countrygirl
08-04-16, 15:16
99.9% of cysts are exactly that fluid filled cysts and they are incredibly common. I had one on my brain stem for a few years and was told that if it got bigger there was nothing they could do but like most cysts it went away itself in a few years. I get cysts attached to my tendons that are pea sized and mobile on my arms/hands and legs. They too scared the xxx out of me as well but I am just a cyst person!
No doctor without a biopsy can say 100% its just a cyst in case they get sued later so they always always say 99% certain but as Fismanpa said they know at first look if its going to be cancerous and would have told you.
Understand your worry and it would be normal for someone without ha to worry but I feel very confident that you have a standard cyst. HOpe they can do something about it because of your symptoms.
99.9% of cysts are exactly that fluid filled cysts and they are incredibly common. I had one on my brain stem for a few years and was told that if it got bigger there was nothing they could do but like most cysts it went away itself in a few years. I get cysts attached to my tendons that are pea sized and mobile on my arms/hands and legs. They too scared the xxx out of me as well but I am just a cyst person!
No doctor without a biopsy can say 100% its just a cyst in case they get sued later so they always always say 99% certain but as Fismanpa said they know at first look if its going to be cancerous and would have told you.
Understand your worry and it would be normal for someone without ha to worry but I feel very confident that you have a standard cyst. HOpe they can do something about it because of your symptoms.
Thanks. I'm also worried about the lymph nodes. They are not visable (yet?) but the right side of my neck feels just fat/swollen. Ultrasound showed more swollen lymph nodes on the right side.
Does anyone here know much about the way lymph nodes swell during metastasis?
The headache is also getting worse, everything hurts me now.
Cysts of nasopharynx are not as common as brain stem's. The fact that they found a mass there at all when there shouldn't be any, and they are fairly rare, is worrying to me.
I really appreciate all the replies, a lot
Still home alone, although my father said he'd visit me tomorrow
I tried to occupy my mind by playing video games this weekend but it's hard because of the pain and the feeling of swelling. I can hardly enjoy anything. I also slept a lot during the day today
The anxiety has gotten worse and so did the symptoms
My biopsy is in 5 days, and the results in 10-15 days.
To quote Tom Petty... "The waiting is the hardest part" It is. There are no words to really put you at ease as we all deal with our stress in different ways. You'll get through this and I can 100% assure you if something is going on, you won't wait 10-15 days for the results. I was called within two days to come back in for the results which I already knew. Truly, no news is good news in cases like this.
Based on the 99% not cancer opinion of your doctor (mine was the opposite), I have the feeling all will be well.
Positive thoughts
To quote Tom Petty... "The waiting is the hardest part" It is. There are no words to really put you at ease as we all deal with our stress in different ways. You'll get through this and I can 100% assure you if something is going on, you won't wait 10-15 days for the results. I was called within two days to come back in for the results which I already knew. Truly, no news is good news in cases like this.
Based on the 99% not cancer opinion of your doctor (mine was the opposite), I have the feeling all will be well.
Positive thoughts
You said you were a survivor. How accurate is that nasopharynx biopsy going to be? I assume they are taking a sample off the cyst.
Also, I might schedule it so I won't see the results until after I'm abroad and with my mother. I could just tell that doctor to not inform me until a certain date. I know this is foolish but I really want to receive the results when I'm with my mother
You said you were a survivor. How accurate is that nasopharynx biopsy going to be? I assume they are taking a sample off the cyst.
It is "the" gold standard. There is no doubt either way.
Positive thoughts
It is "the" gold standard. There is no doubt either way.
Positive thoughts
How much am I hurting myself by traveling to see my mother before seeing the results? Honestly, the thought of seeing her puts me at ease. If I have to find out it's bad news I can't imagine finding it out without her. Even if I will have to go back asap (which i hope i would not have)
How much am I hurting myself by traveling to see my mother before seeing the results? Honestly, the thought of seeing her puts me at ease. If I have to find out it's bad news I can't imagine finding it out without her. Even if I will have to go back asap (which i hope i would not have)
Ok... listen up. Your doctor has told you flat out he's 99% sure there's nothing going on and it's a common cyst. 99% sure it's NOT cancer!!
I think you can safely go about your business and try to enjoy your trip as best you can. I know no words or reassurance is going to make this easier for you as you're overlooking the 99% elephant in the room so I won't indulge your fears any more than I apparently already have.
Good luck and as always....
Positive thoughts
Small update: feeling a lot worse, headaches, tinnitus has gotten worse, feeling nauseus, the right side of my neck feels fatter/more swollen/thicker. My flight is on 20th. Biopsy tomorrow morning. I'm lost and scared atm. At least I'm getting good amount of sleep and nothing seems to interrupt my sleep
Also, my very first cause for concern was a swollen lymph node around my Adam's Apple, it's been there for 2 months, and now I felt another one, exactly like that one but on the other side. So yeah.
Anxiety will make all of those symptoms much worse.
Anxiety will make all of those symptoms much worse.
yeah, I know. But it doesn't make lymph nodes grow, or stay swollen for months. I don't mind pain that much, it's what I don't feel that scares me the most. And I still haven't figured out what my condition could be if it's not nasopharyngeal cancer
Of course you haven't figured it out; you aren't a doctor.
The biopsy results should be in next week. I calmed down for a few days after they took the sample, but then started feeling extremely anxious again. My symptoms are getting worse and more painful. I just have to wait I guess
let us know.
I will! Won't find out until at least Thursday though. So i have to stay sane until then
I was having an amazing day today, until at 6pm i received a call from an unknown(hidden) number. I didnt pick up because i didnt hear it, it never called again. Now I'm convinced it was the clinic/doctor and they are calling because the results are bad ^_^ I never get calls from hidden numbers.
Tomorrow will be exactly a week since they took the sample. Im leaving in 2 days and it's the only thing that could stop me from going.
You musty be only person in the uk who hasn't had a call from a withheld number! They are mostly marketing calls, they hang up if no answer.
You said that you approach your health anxity scientifically, but by its very nature, you wont approach it rationally, that's what is happeneing here.
You had ultrasound that showed knotty lymph nodes, anything could have raised them, infection is one of the most common things, you poking and feeling them is another.
No matter how much research you have done, you have not trained for the years that a doctor has done, and the added years to specialize, as an ENT does. You don't know anywhere near as much as they do and you are not trained to recognize cancers. They are, they will have seen it and referred when needed, and you asked for the endoscopy, they did not request it.
It looks like you have picked up on a few symptoms and turned them into a cancer diagnosis, there are many other relevant things which you haven't mentioned. As Fishmanpa has had diagnosis and treatment for head and neck cancer, he knows his stuff. Try and listen to him if you can.
Hi..
I spent 3 months over the xmas period scaring myself stupid that I had this illness.. I had all of the symptoms, (I still have the one-sided tinnitus).. could constantly feel a massive blockage at the same point in my ear/nose/throat, had neck pain, ear pain, headaches, you name it I had it. After CT scans, bloods, examinations etc, I eventually ended up in A&E convinced that my throat was closing up near the back of my nose and I couldn't breathe. I paid for a private 3-part MRI (no holiday for my family this year now), and last month I had the much sought-after flexible naso-endoscopy.. and they found absolutely NOTHING.
I pretty much went off of my head and the only thing that really saved me was coming on here and reminding myself that my HA can make things very, very real and that I can actually produce symptoms, as I did 4 years ago with my cervical cancer/ALS fears. If I sit even now I can half convince myself that there is something in the nasal area I was transfixed on, but I don't do that as I will go nuts!
I'm feeling quite good now, as I said I still have the tinnitus but I have a hearing aid to help with that when it bothers me (and I haven't used it for a few weeks now...). I have learned to recognise this time around EXACTLY what havoc my HA can cause. After last time I stupidly thought it would never happen again.
Fishmanpa always says that cancer is an "uncontrolled growth" and doesn't subside, symptoms don't go away. He has also helped to save my sanity!
Sorry this is a long post but I do recognise the horrible fear that you are going through with this particular cancer fear. I almost lost my mind with it.
Keep us posted, I'm sure you will be absolutely fine xxxx
Hi! That you a lot for replying, it really did calm me down. I'm glad you're feeling much better now.
I do not have the biopsy results yet, but I will have them on monday. So far the symptoms come and go, on and off. Lymph nodes are always swollen, though not visibly.
Now gotta wait till monday.
Thanks again, and I will definitely update you as soon as I know anything
---------- Post added at 15:10 ---------- Previous post was at 11:56 ----------
By the way, i would not be nearly as scared if not for the cyst/change in my nasopharynx, and they discovered it with endoscopy. It would be a huge coincidence. I guess you didn't have anything there, or swollen lymph nodes :sad:
[/COLOR]By the way, i would not be nearly as scared if not for the cyst/change in my nasopharynx, and they discovered it with endoscopy. It would be a huge coincidence. I guess you didn't have anything there, or swollen lymph nodes :sad:
Hi :) I didn't actually have anything, I just felt like I did. Am currently experiencing the constant congestion and ear issues again but nothing like before. Guess I will just have to accept that my body does odd things!
Will keep my eye out for your post. Lots of good wishes to you! :hugs:
Thinking of you Hyun, let us know and here if you want a chat. I too am convinced I have cancer of the throat or lymph nodes. Doctor says mine are not swollen but all day every day for way over a month now I get shooting pains in my glands up under my jaw line. I am so down. I hope you get good news, if they said they are 99% sure that you don't have cancer, that's bloody good odds hun xx
Results tomorrow! Hopefully.
Tomorrow will be exactly 2 weeks since the biopsy. The clinic didn't have the results yet this morning but they said to visit tomorrow.
Is that a good sign or a bad sign?
Results tomorrow! Hopefully.
Tomorrow will be exactly 2 weeks since the biopsy. The clinic didn't have the results yet this morning but they said to visit tomorrow.
Is that a good sign or a bad sign?
Frm an earlier post....
I can 100% assure you if something is going on, you won't wait 10-15 days for the results. I was called within two days to come back in for the results which I already knew. Truly, no news is good news in cases like this.
Based on the 99% not cancer opinion of your doctor (mine was the opposite), I have the feeling all will be well.
Positive thoughts
Update: still no results.... They said to come on Friday, since they only get them on Tuesdays and Fridays. Not sure what to think of it, but there probably wouldn't be any additional delay if they were bad?
Of course the first thing I thought is that the results are bad and they need to consult them before sending them to the clinic.
Thanks for replying Fishmanpa, I do hope that's true in my case too
Well, update:
The biopsy results are in, and it's kinda hard to translate it to English, they are not in English
It says something like Polyp with a large amount of chronic inflammation.
And that's the result of a biopsy of nasopharynx.
I hope it makes a little bit of sense.
I had a CT of nasal cavities done about a month ago, and it showed a single, 12 mm polyp. I also have a very deviated septum.
Can anyone tell me if i should be worried?
Can anyone tell me if i should be worried?
There's nothing that says cancer so I'd say that's a cause to celebrate and jump for joy! There are thousands including myself that would give their left arm for results like that.
Great news!
Positive thoughts
I am extremely happy, and I know you're right. But I would lie if I said that on it's own this result is not worrying to me. I do have HA after all.
Still, I'm extremely happy that it's not a nasopharyngeal cancer. The scare was very real and it was awful. Thanks for keeping me sane and some understanding. It's baffling how people in real life don't understand anything about health anxiety and how it can't be controlled. And that I really don't enjoy being an annoying a-hole to others^^'
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