View Full Version : On The Road Traveling And Having Issues Please Help?
We left our apartment several days ago and now are staying at a place in town to rest up until sunday. Over the last few days I have had to move more than I have in a year or so . I have laid around for all that time with little or no exercise.
My wife says she is amazed at my ability to get up and go out and walk and lift things and move around . In the last few days though I have been really tired and hurting all over. Also I am having issues from the belt line area of every time I go outside for awhile and sit I have to come in and urinate and my area around my beltline hurts for about 30 minutes.
For days I have had to urinate so much more than usual for me, and now I feel like I have to and not much is coming out. I am not running fever but my legs have been getting swollen a little bit from going outside and sitting in the sun and sitting on a hard surface. I dread the drive ahead because I am afraid that my legs will get so swollen that I won' t be able to continue.
Also over the last few days I can hear my heart making a loud lub dub sound all the time. Not only when I am laying down but when I am sitting outside and also standing. Last night I got really really tired and had to come inside and rest and it scared me.
Also hearing and feeling my heartbeat making a rocking in my body and hearing the loud lub dub has gotten me worried that maybe I have congestive heart failure.. I am already so nervous about this trip and don't want to have to worry about getting sick somewhere down the road I don't know what to do .
If anyone ever feels these things please tell me and if they are just anxiety that would help too. I am not sure all these things are manifested from anxiety but hoping they are. I don't know what is wrong with me. My wife and I have traveled thousands and thousands of miles with no issues but I am worried about traveling now and that is crazy because of all the travel I have done in the past.
Anyone have anything that would make me feel better? suggestions? Thoughts ? Advise? Please help.
When was your last check up?
Seven months ago. Blood work and my internist did a full physical . I ask him then why I heard my heartbeat and he said because I was sensitive. Over the last year and a half I was hospitalized and monitored for seven days. Ecg, lung xray and tons and tons of blood test. Four cardiologist checked my ecg and said there was nothing wrong with my heart and also my intake doctor and doctor that attended me at the hospital and also follow up doctor. I have had doctor's appointments every month for about six months and then stopped going. I also now after walking and lifting the last few days have what seems to be a lower pulse pressure where I take my pulse. Is this all because i exercised.?
MyNameIsTerry
09-04-16, 08:09
I think you've had a lot of tests for heart concerns and have not found anything so that has to be a very good sign your heart is in excellent health.
With being pretty sedentary once you start to exercise you can expect plenty of aches & pains because all exercise means micro tears in the muscles and the natural rebuilding the body does. This is just the bodies way of adjusting to current demand. It's common when you start an exercise programme to find the first 3 weeks are constant aches & pains because of this and then the body gets used to it. It builds the extra muscle required to compensate.
If you've ever had a physical injury, or condition, that has caused you to be in bed or resting for weeks (a break is always a good example) then this is always the case until you perform enough exercise for the body to build that area back up again.
So, logically if you think about all the extra work you are currently doing, how far away from starting the gym is it? If you go from being unemployed and doing little hard graft, starting back to work means hard graft, lots of tiredness and aches & pains.
Obviously, only a doctor can say for sure with the heart but given you wanting to get back into regular exercise (walking) and now having to do a load of lifting & carrying, it seems likely that this is the exercise.
Have you noticed how your heart beat & breathing change as you were doing all that work? They would have. Perhaps you haven't noticed because you are distracted due to being busy but I wonder how different it was to what you have noticed now.
Are your legs swollen? Or are they pumped up? Could it just be that all the walking is keeping the muscles bigger because of the extra blood going to them, which is natural for any level of exercise? I do a fair bit of walking and my calf muscles are like iron these days compared to when I was working in offices.
With the urination, could it be added stress? Not sure on the pain though. Could you have pulled any muscles there? Has it been heavy lifting and twisting?
It's the extra stress mnaha. :hugs:
I've got it too because of a really stressful week.
It will fade away eventually and urgent need to urinate is too and you need to drink more fluids to compensate this.
You are doing a tremendously stressful thing and as long as you have intervals in between and eat and drink well, you will be fine. :)
As 'Claire Weekes' says, if the heart is beating, you are ALIVE!!!
I think you've had a lot of tests for heart concerns and have not found anything so that has to be a very good sign your heart is in excellent health.
With being pretty sedentary once you start to exercise you can expect plenty of aches & pains because all exercise means micro tears in the muscles and the natural rebuilding the body does. This is just the bodies way of adjusting to current demand. It's common when you start an exercise programme to find the first 3 weeks are constant aches & pains because of this and then the body gets used to it. It builds the extra muscle required to compensate.
If you've ever had a physical injury, or condition, that has caused you to be in bed or resting for weeks (a break is always a good example) then this is always the case until you perform enough exercise for the body to build that area back up again.
So, logically if you think about all the extra work you are currently doing, how far away from starting the gym is it? If you go from being unemployed and doing little hard graft, starting back to work means hard graft, lots of tiredness and aches & pains.
Obviously, only a doctor can say for sure with the heart but given you wanting to get back into regular exercise (walking) and now having to do a load of lifting & carrying, it seems likely that this is the exercise.
Have you noticed how your heart beat & breathing change as you were doing all that work? They would have. Perhaps you haven't noticed because you are distracted due to being busy but I wonder how different it was to what you have noticed now.
Are your legs swollen? Or are they pumped up? Could it just be that all the walking is keeping the muscles bigger because of the extra blood going to them, which is natural for any level of exercise? I do a fair bit of walking and my calf muscles are like iron these days compared to when I was working in offices.
With the urination, could it be added stress? Not sure on the pain though. Could you have pulled any muscles there? Has it been heavy lifting and twisting?
I am paying for being sedimentary . BIGTIME. Its sad but its all happening with a vengeance. This morning I woke and the varicose veins are popping out all over , I usually have them but not this bad and also they have been looking good for the last few days. Weird ,don't know why they would do that today ,the day before we leave to go on the road.
Also everything you said about the pumped up legs and swollen legs is absolutely correct. Its like you are physic .Also my heart is doing all kinds of things ,the beat is changing and changing and I can barely feel my pulse. I want to say all the exercise is good thing but it is freaking me out. It has so many different effects. I appreciate your and Carnation's support , it means so much to me and it was so nice of you both to post this morning . I have been having bad dreams about circulation and such and woke up really anxious today but trying to handle it.
We leave tomorrow and although we are out of apartment we are still in town and glad we took some time to rest and get ready for the road. I hope everything will be fine. One thing that bothers me Terry is for the last few days my pulse has been hard to find and very light. I don't know if that is because the lack of coffee or maybe the exercise or what but its weird . I am so use to feeling it pounding when I take it.
Anyway thank you both for trying to help and you have helped me a lot. As soon as we get on the road and get going I will let you know how things are going. Also I wanted to say yes my muscles are so pumped up its like I have been exercising for a long long time. I don't get it but not going to worry about it. It is nice to feel like you have muscles again.
MyNameIsTerry
10-04-16, 05:10
Could the veins have been pushed out by the muscle swelling?
This will be you in no time...http://www.bestemoticon.com/smiley/anatomie/anatomie878.gifhttp://www.bestemoticon.com/smiley/anatomie/anatomie007.gif
Well doesn't caffeine make palps more common? So, does it cause more thudding too?
Exercise is good for the body, very much so for the cardiovascular. In fact, the more you do it, the more you will get used to things relating to these beats. HR changes too since the more exercise, the lower it naturally becomes and it takes much more to get it high. There are others on here that will be able to say better on this, our resident ex personal trainer springs to mind, but maybe the effect can be quite quick?
You are clearly someone who's anxiety symptoms include heart related issues and so anything that changes that or causes something new is going to hit your anxiety radar. I've never really had issues with palps much as I never investigated them to understand it all (probably a blessing back then) but I have had major issues with exercise myself. One of my big issues came from stimulants that gave me a really big adrenaline rush. I was used to them but added a very strong one and it was too much. My GAD was minor, the first few months and this event did panic me. After that any level of exercise made we worry about my breathing (I'm an asthma sufferer) and not palps but fast heart beats were an issue. I also had an issue (still do to an extent) with muscle soreness from exercise. But getting over the heart & breathing issues was a matter of pushing myself to experience it and see I was ok. In the end what did it was walking my dog. He wanted to run and so we sprinted each time, a few times a walk. The more I did it, the more it clicked in my head and having my dog there seemed to help more than if I was alone.
Was on the road four hours today and covered 219 miles. It was so hard to get started this morning. i was so scared and my body seemed to be locking up. Finally we left and drove and as I drove it seemed I got more calm but as I got tired some four hours later the nervousness crept back in and we had to stop and get a room to rest. Now I am here and ate a small dinner and my heart is rocking back and forth an it scares me also my throat is so dry it feels like it is going to choke me and also I am exhausted and need to sleep but can't for the rocking feeling and choking feeling. I am so worried and can't relax. i don't want to get sick in an unfamiliar place. I hate this anxiety and am so worried that I might not be able to finish our trip but now I am on my way I have no choice. I am so scared..and don't know what to do. Terry I am not drinking but very little coffee. just a mere fraction of what I used to drink and hoping that I don't get withdrawal from caffeine. I have been drinking coffee all my life.
MyNameIsTerry
11-04-16, 05:30
Well done for doing this. Four hours and 219 miles is a lot. Well to us it's a fair proportion of the country. :biggrin:
You noticed it got easier and it was the anticipation that was the real problem. So, you could easily see the exact same tomorrow once you get moving.
Four hours is a fair time and maybe you were getting hungry? If you were driving non stop and not getting much to eat or drink then your blood sugar will be dropping and you will feel tired.
Are you getting breaks or driving 4 hours solid?
I think this is a fair sized exposure for you and it will be hard until you do it enough times to get beyond some of the fears underpinning it. It's not going to be done on day one but the more you do it, the more it can get easier. So, it's something to persevere with and in a couple days you may see it is getting easier & easier in time.
We fear lack of control, change and uncertainty. Being in an unfamiliar place is bound to challenge these issues and it may be hard to initially adjust. Try to distract yourself where possible and get some short walks in if you can as it may help. I always find a lot of sitting down for periods can mean more adrenaline building up that needs some exercise to burn it off, but I do have problems with adrenaline on my med that seems to lead to this and I need the burn off.
Ate something yesterday when I got in and after a few minutes I fell asleep on the bed. I woke and my eyes were so red and bloody looking. I felt a pressure in my face and I stood up and was so dizzy. All the lights looked so bright and my eyes were really acting up . Everything has freaked me out. I woke for a bit and everytime I moved I got dizzy and the light was so bright. i then woke for awhile and started feeling like I was choking and then turned over on my back which I never sleep on and fell deep into sleep. I woke and not feeling too bad I went to the restroom where the lights are so very bright and still continued feeling weird. i then came back to bed and was laying around but all night everytime I move I get a little dizzy . Not sure what all that was but also felt nauseated a lot.
We stayed another night at the hotel where stopped because both of us is exhausted and this is so very hard. Hopefully we can be back on the road and not linger here. I do not like this place as it is unfamiliar and I feel so nervous .
I don't think its going to get any better as we travel further away but I sure was hoping my feelings would change and i would feel more secure. I guess only time will tell. Thanks again Terry for your response.
mnaha, I am not surprised by anything you have said.
You are tired, stressed, nervous and scared.
Considering all of that, you have done well so far.
I find that 3 hours tends to be my maximum. I get a terrible thirst on, my legs go like jelly, when I get out of the car I feel light-headed and nauseous from hunger.
Always make sure you travel after you have eaten, keep sipping a non-alcoholic drink and keep your mind off of the worries by concentrating on what's around you and talking about it out loud.
You know you have to do this journey, there's no turning back and remember what I told you; you are leaving your anxiety behind you! :)
When you stop, get plenty of rest and sleep and eat well.
You can do this mnaha.
I am saying this as a person who was in a car crash and screamed every time she got in to a car and had to travel blindfolded for months just to get from A-B. If I can do it. You can too. :yesyes:
Carnation, thanks for the encouragement. We are suppose to start again tomorrow and I am not feeling very secure although I don't want to stay here either. I can identify with all the things you mentioned as I experienced them all a time or two yesterday . We stopped about three times. I am a little queasy now and was very nauseated last night. I don't know if that was just the stress or maybe the fact that I did not eat well yesterday and then ate heavy last night. Hopefully we have rested well and will tonight before we leave tomorrow although the forecast calls for rain for the next three days here. I also worry that my eyes might not be up to par because they tend not to be very good in gloomy weather.
Anyway I am anxious , what can I say ? But thank you for your support and I do want to put this travel anxiety behind me but I keep thinking what will I do if I need a hospital while driving and there is none for a long way? Its scary but hopefully I can overcome it.
I sure don't want to do this but I have no choice as we don't have a home now and we are at the mercy of the road. I used to look at all this as an adventure but have lost my confidence and even the confidence my wife used to have in me and now since she doubts me , I doubt myself. Its very sad..
MyNameIsTerry
12-04-16, 05:31
I think it's early days though. This could get easier as you adjust to it. I feel that if you were truly severe enough, your anxiety wouldn't have dipped at all. I know at my worst stages it was 24/7 and I was amazed I could even sleep with that. Whilst it would subside through the day, it was still bad and there was absolutely no respite, no sense of things feeling ok. So, when you said things got easier the more you were on the road, I see that as a good sign that you are capable of reducing it, I wasn't back then, and if you were as bad with the anxiety as I was at that point, I think you would have suffered all day long with respite. So, perhaps take that as a good sign?
What a good point about adventure. That's how I used to feel. With anxiety it's more about seeking safety and sadly the more we do it, the more we shrink our bubble. The more we push the bubble out, the more confidence we gain. At first things don't seem to help much but at some point that changes and we start to believe in ourselves again. You may find this on the road at some point or perhaps at the other end you will look back and feel a sense of achievement from it and gain in confidence?
The worry about medical help is the same as at home. Whilst emergency services were closer, were they ever really close enough for the worry we can feel about all this? Even 5 minutes can feel a long time when we are feeling panic symptoms. And you've never needed them, so why would you need them now? You've done 4 hours and a couple of days and not needed them.
I think it's natural for our partners to worry and doubt because they see us worried. She said to you how she was amazed how you did all that physical work though so her confidence was boosted there. Don't forget that. The more you push through this journey, the more she will regain her confidence in you having confidence in yourself.
Thanks for the vote of confidence and hope that all goes well. I at this moment am having mixed feelings back and forth but think a lot of plus feelings and excitement verses anxiety . Its funny you should say that about medical services as I was sitting here thinking the same thing. After all, I have never needed them and since I went to the hospital er over a year ago we haven't been back or needed to. Also I was thinking that "have I ever been that much safer at our home than I am on the road?" I don't think so because we still had to get in the car and drive about 20 miles to the hospital and 14 miles to the doctor so I have calculated most of the towns on the route we choose and we are already in the car and the towns are about 20 miles apart on a major highway so maybe that isn't so bad.
I just let her read what I had said and she thought about it and said yes .you were no safer than you will be on the road and actually I think that is one thing over the years that helped me is that I always kind of had that thought in the back of my mind although I was distracted by some awesome scenery over the years and forgot about anxiety and changed it to excitement. Perhaps that will happen again. I have been in remote places and roads that I know for a fact there would be no rescue and no help and have made it just fine.
I have been to headhunter country in the Philippines in more than one remote location where it is almost inaccessible in anyway for help. I have been on remote islands and also remote stretches of water where there was no help and done fine and also some tracts of desert 200 miles from even a petrol station so that gives you and idea that at that time I must have not been anxious or worried about medical services.. so it can be done. I just hope I can overcome it again and get that sense of wonder back instead of terror and worry .
I thank you so much for your support and your kind words ,It has helped me so very much and is still helping me. Thank you again.
You are perfectly capable of doing this mnaha. You've already done the hardest bit. :) You are not on your own and you are in control of the situation and can go at your own pace. The only thing that is stopping you is 'Fear'!
Yes, I know it is not easy. but when you break the barrier of fear, it DOES subside.
How many times have we all thought that we are moments from something terrible happening and how many times did something actually bad happen? NONE!
Keep that adventure in your mind, think of the positives you will achieve this and getting there. Your wife wouldn't be sitting by your side if she didn't think you were capable. :)
MyNameIsTerry
12-04-16, 09:10
I like the sound of the mixed feelings. Anxiety is going to be there, you knew this, but to have positive emotions too is excellent because you can choose to go with them and let them push the anxiety down naturally. If you really were ONLY anxious about this, you know that curiosity and excitement just wouldn't be there. Perhaps it has sparked you old adventurous side that you thought was buried deep?
Exactly. You have never needed them. It's like with my asthma, I would carry not one but two Relievers a) just in case my breathing suffered and b) just in case one of them failed. :doh: Guess how many times I've needed them over the years of my anxiety? Once. And that was when I was in the house and had not been taking my Preventers for ages. 9 years on, never once needed them. That should tell me that despite panic and anxiety - I don't need them. I've done sprints with my dog on his walkies - I've never needed them. It's a safety behaviour, and they reinforce the fear underpinning why we think we need them.
You can do this, like Carnation I believe in you.
Samantha choc lover
12-04-16, 09:33
Hi there
Been reading your post and just want to say that i think alot of your symptoms ie: Dizziness, nausea, needing to urinate frequently are anxiety related.I also think you're very tired!. The heart problems you speak of are classic anxiety symptoms. My advice would be to try not to worry about them too much, it's just your body's way of reacting to stress. Try and relax into the way you are feeling right now, and don't pay your thoughts about having heart problems, worry you!. I know this is easier said than done, but the more attention you give to your beating heart or your pulse, the more you will worry unessecarily. Eat and drink well and try and sleep whenever you can. X
Instead of listing all of you, I think its very apparent who to tell thank you . So far today we drove another 221 miles and got settled in a hotel for the next two days for rest. I did ok although I was a little apprehensive I kept thinking about what was said here and pushing on.
There were moments that I had thinking "what if" but they passed as I thought about your support . Also I thought about what Terry had said as well about how safe was I really in my apartment versus being on the road and about the question whether I ever needed the hospital or medical services. All the things that were said to me kept going through my brain but as I neared our destination I don't know if it was the absence of food or the excitement of reaching our destination my stomach started causing bad gas and my heart started skipping.
As we got close to where we were going I kept seeing hospital signs and my mind automatically thought they might be a bad omen since I was having skipping heart so bad. We stopped in a petrol station parking lot and relaxed for a few minutes then proceeded on and got to where we were going.
That was the worse part of the drive today and then when we got to the hotel to find our room was on the second floor . I haven't climbed stairs in four or five months. I did fine and did not even get out of breath. So overall things might be looking up and hopefully I can keep my mind from going to negative thoughts. I think that is the key as long as I don't get negative thoughts and I don't gas too much.
Lately I have been having issues with gas causing me to get nervous when it pushes on my heart. I have to take gas pills and hope it goes away and sometimes I go walk a little if I am where I can. Anyway knowing that its only gas and it will go away soon is one part of it and keeping my mind positive. Anyway just wanted to say thank you all again and hope that I continue to at least do as well. We still have about 1200 miles to go and keeping my fingers crossed I can keep panic at bay. Also I have broken out in a rash on my right hand and think it might be dry skin and having that hand on the steering wheel but I will try some lotion and hope that takes care of it. Once again thank you all for your tremendous support.
Samantha choc lover
13-04-16, 09:27
Hi Mnaha
It's good to hear you're doing so well!. I think you sound like you're in great shape physically so i wouldn't be concerned with the palpitations. When they come just let them be, they will pass. Breathing excercises are really good for anxiety, breathe in slowly through your nose, to a count of 5 or more, then breathe out to a count of 7 or more. Just practice, it might be difficult at first but it will get easier!. Your body might take a small amount of time to catch up because of tension. But it will catch up!. Just take each day as it comes, forget the what if's, there's no point, it just wastes energy. Just concentrate or rather "float" through today. X
Well Done mnaha :yesyes: 221 miles, you did brilliantly. :)
I have the 'Gas' problem too which causes pain around the heart area and then it triggers off the mind in to thinking you know what? But, every time, nothing bad happens and that is what you have to remember. It's just Gas and nothing else.
I get a nervous tummy too, but I find a banana settles mine, but everyone is different.
Now, you mention about the stair climbing, I have had it where I feel all breathy and panicky and all the symptoms are going and then I have climbed 2 flight of stairs and not been out of breath??? So, I try to look at everything logically and tell myself that if I can climb flights of stairs, then my heart must be working ok.
No, I think this journey will be beneficial for you. It will show you that you are healthy and can still do stuff like this. Like I said, it's breaking through the barrier of fear, being careful not to do too much, which you are monitoring.
And I applaud you for your courage manaha. :)
Vaseline is good for the hand. My partner was told to use Vaseline for his scar after his cancer op, so it won't be harmful to you.
Thank you both Sam and Carnation. We are staying tonight and another night since the room is fairly comfortable located in a town which is pretty good size and the hotel is located nicely in the city ,easy to get to and leave.
Also we thought we would rest up and its a good thing because both of us are exhausted and not feeling too good.. I have had a headache back and forth for a few days and my forehead is sensitive to the touch. We are at a higher altitude than we are used to but not that high. Its below 3000 meters and that is suppose to be fairly safe for people that suffer from high altitude but I never thought about the altitude until today and found an article about people suffering from it in this city .
I wake after sleeping and no matter how long or how short I sleep I am dizzy and everything turns around when I wake. I don't have any fever and everything else seems ok. I am eating ok and maybe not enough sleep and maybe overuse of the eyes. I don't know but its making me worry . Right now I am so tired and my wife can't stay awake and I am alone and worried there is something wrong. I took a ibuprofen and hopefully that will make me feel better but think I am going to sleep soon as the rash on my hand is worse and I am not feeling well.
Just wanted to say hello and tell you both and all of you I thank you so much for your support and will post some more when we have arrived at our next destination. I am feeling a little lonely tonight but guess its best I sleep and perhaps I will feel better tomorrow. Thanks again to all and goodnight.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 08:10
You are doing really well! :yesyes::yahoo:
When these health issues crop up, apply that rational thinking that you have done to rule out issues with your heart. The rash is just something practical, so you can apply some cream and sort it out. The headache could just be the eyestrain or tension, the stress, maybe even being sat down a lot in a certain position, etc and you try and treat it the conventional way with some painkillers, water, sleep, fresh air, etc. Don't let the subconscious get away with hinting at sinister things because you've had it throw loads of those at you before and how many of them ever came true?
It's good to hear also that you are getting more into your rhythm with all this. It's like an exposure exercise all of it's own and listening to how you are changing with the fear is very important. This thread is going to be an excellent diary for you to read back later and see what you accomplished.
It is more than likely a stress rash mnaha.
My Partner gets them a lot, yes, he is a sufferer too!
I think if you are both exhausted and have arrived in a reasonably 'safe place', it is a good idea to rest up and re-energise and after all, it is part of your adventure.
Don't feel pressurised. You will know when you are ready to move on.
Your Wife will be feeling your pressure and stress. After all, you are in this together.
This is a major thing you are both doing here and with the long journey as well, you will feel very tired and a bit under the weather in the process. It's not just your trip, there was everything else you had to do before you left and the, emotions that go with it.
I am actually quite excited for you. I just have a feeling that once you do get to your destination, that you will feel so different and it will give you a new lease of life.:)
The dizziness will be your exhaustion, it will pass.
Isn't it amazing how we can feel so bad and frightened when we are just pottering around our homes and here you are travelling thousands of miles!!
We have this amazing skill in survival and finding those coping skills to get to safety and deal with anything we have to, which is what you are doing now.
I remember when we moved last time, after we had packed, we were so exhausted that we could hardly hold up our bodies to eat a meal and we both looked at each other and agreed that we stay the night before leaving and get a good night's sleep.
Sleep can do wonders for your wellbeing, even a little snooze during the day. :)
The headache will be the pressure from the stress and I have that tender to touch feeling from time to time. It will pass after a few good meals and plenty of rest, but don't keep prodding and feeling it as my partner does, try a cold compress and leave it on for a few minutes and if you are up to it, maybe a walk around the town will help. :hugs:
You are doing really well! :yesyes::yahoo:
When these health issues crop up, apply that rational thinking that you have done to rule out issues with your heart. The rash is just something practical, so you can apply some cream and sort it out. The headache could just be the eyestrain or tension, the stress, maybe even being sat down a lot in a certain position, etc and you try and treat it the conventional way with some painkillers, water, sleep, fresh air, etc. Don't let the subconscious get away with hinting at sinister things because you've had it throw loads of those at you before and how many of them ever came true?
It's good to hear also that you are getting more into your rhythm with all this. It's like an exposure exercise all of it's own and listening to how you are changing with the fear is very important. This thread is going to be an excellent diary for you to read back later and see what you accomplished.
Thanks Terry for your vote of confidence. I think I can rule out high altitude doing research I found they were referring to a local mountain range and hiking and not here in the city. I think you are correct in the part about stress and also eye strain and mind imaging this and that. We are trying to rest ,eat right and breathe fresh air. Also this is the rash...is this stress or anything to be concerned about ? It has raised bumps coming up everywhere and redness. Photo attached2604
It is more than likely a stress rash mnaha.
My Partner gets them a lot, yes, he is a sufferer too!
I think if you are both exhausted and have arrived in a reasonably 'safe place', it is a good idea to rest up and re-energise and after all, it is part of your adventure.
Don't feel pressurised. You will know when you are ready to move on.
Your Wife will be feeling your pressure and stress. After all, you are in this together.
This is a major thing you are both doing here and with the long journey as well, you will feel very tired and a bit under the weather in the process. It's not just your trip, there was everything else you had to do before you left and the, emotions that go with it.
I am actually quite excited for you. I just have a feeling that once you do get to your destination, that you will feel so different and it will give you a new lease of life.:)
The dizziness will be your exhaustion, it will pass.
Isn't it amazing how we can feel so bad and frightened when we are just pottering around our homes and here you are travelling thousands of miles!!
We have this amazing skill in survival and finding those coping skills to get to safety and deal with anything we have to, which is what you are doing now.
I remember when we moved last time, after we had packed, we were so exhausted that we could hardly hold up our bodies to eat a meal and we both looked at each other and agreed that we stay the night before leaving and get a good night's sleep.
Sleep can do wonders for your wellbeing, even a little snooze during the day. :)
The headache will be the pressure from the stress and I have that tender to touch feeling from time to time. It will pass after a few good meals and plenty of rest, but don't keep prodding and feeling it as my partner does, try a cold compress and leave it on for a few minutes and if you are up to it, maybe a walk around the town will help. :hugs:
See photo above please? Is this stress rash? We decided to rest a few more days and make sure we are good to go and take our time at our pace. We slept a little longer today and think we are feeling a little better.
Our spirits have improved appetite is good and eyes are maybe improving although still having a few issues with vision due to different lighting etc.Headache seems better ,rash is worse and hearbeat maybe faster today probably gas.Went down stairs and back and it skipped for a few minutes but think that was gas too.Overall hopefully a better day and night than last night. Thanks again for everything.:yesyes:
I can only give your my opinion and that would not be a professional one mnaha, but it looks like you have heat bumps accompanied with a nervous rash.
Let's put it this way, It would not be something that would worry me.
Don't forget you have probably been clutching at the steering wheel as well, so it may be a culmination of things.
Glad you are resting and feeling a bit better today. :)
Carnation ,thanks so much for your reply and I know I did not post that much earlier but I was kind of feeling a little stressed about somethings but always want you to know that I check for your reply and others pretty regular and always like to be sure and let you all know that I do check for your reply and try to respond appropriately. I am sure you are correct that the rash is nothing to worry about. It isn't the first time I have encountered it as I have gotten it many times before on trips mostly ,probably from sun, dry skin and irritations such as allergens.
I will just keep putting lotion on it and try to relax and have a positive outlook. I just wanted to say that you and Terry and the other person that responded ,, don't have her or his name here since I can't go back to the other page while typing this..Anyway .. just wanted to tell you all that you are the biggest thing that has helped me . When I am getting ready to drive out and on the road I think about all the things you have said and the support and the building me up has helped me so very much.
If sometimes I don't respond to everything you wrote but do post a reply ,its not that I haven't read your other parts of your post but just didn't perhaps respond to them , but all your post and others words have meant so very much to me. Keep your fingers crossed for me that things will keep getting better. I thank you once again. Michael
Hey Michael,
You're doing fine :) It's apparent you're stressing and it's perfectly normal under the circumstances. There's nothing that I see that's abnormal and everything you're talking about is stress related and will resolve once things settle down. You're good man...
Positive thoughts
Hey Michael,
You're doing fine :) It's apparent you're stressing and it's perfectly normal under the circumstances. There's nothing that I see that's abnormal and everything you're talking about is stress related and will resolve once things settle down. You're good man...
Positive thoughts
Thanks so much Fishmanpa. I am trying so very hard and its working pretty good but suppose you can expect a few dips when you are trying but will try harder. Everyone here has really helped me rallying me to carry on and all of your words ring in my head as I am traveling and even in the mornings when I take a deep breath to set out it helps so much . Fishmanpa. You are greatly appreciated to . I thank you so much!:yahoo:
MyNameIsTerry
15-04-16, 05:56
I can only give your my opinion and that would not be a professional one mnaha, but it looks like you have heat bumps accompanied with a nervous rash.
Let's put it this way, It would not be something that would worry me.
Don't forget you have probably been clutching at the steering wheel as well, so it may be a culmination of things.
Glad you are resting and feeling a bit better today. :)
I agree with Carnation. Probably a rash due to sweat or heat or just stress. I wouldn't worry about it at all, at most just put some lotion on it or I used to put aloe vera gel on which is good as it gets the skin hydrated.
Looking at where it is, it's probably rubbing. So, just some slight inflammation from something your hands aren't used to doing a lot.
I've seen them on my dad's hand over the years and he worked with his hands in landscape gardening, it's just the natural trauma to the hands as they are worked.
I know I've had many sweat rashes over the years and they are little itchy raised bumps that can crust or weep. They rarely last more than a day ot two but can feel hot & itchy.
Just keep pushing on. You are under stress so these things are popping up but you are handling them because if you weren't, you wouldn't be rationalising them at all and would be just lost in talking about them as some people tend to be on here.
Have faith in yourself.
I agree with Carnation. Probably a rash due to sweat or heat or just stress. I wouldn't worry about it at all, at most just put some lotion on it or I used to put aloe vera gel on which is good as it gets the skin hydrated.
Looking at where it is, it's probably rubbing. So, just some slight inflammation from something your hands aren't used to doing a lot.
I've seen them on my dad's hand over the years and he worked with his hands in landscape gardening, it's just the natural trauma to the hands as they are worked.
I know I've had many sweat rashes over the years and they are little itchy raised bumps that can crust or weep. They rarely last more than a day ot two but can feel hot & itchy.
Just keep pushing on. You are under stress so these things are popping up but you are handling them because if you weren't, you wouldn't be rationalising them at all and would be just lost in talking about them as some people tend to be on here.
Have faith in yourself.
I put lotion on it about an hour ago and it just made it much worse. So if its stress/sweat bumps what do you do for it? Its really getting bad and I am so worried now and its itching.. Should I just leave it alone or ? I am trying as hard as I can to rationalize everything but this is irritating. Please advise? And thanks in advance.
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MyNameIsTerry
15-04-16, 06:27
I'm not sure, is there is something in the lotion you are allergic to? Have you used it fine before?
Perhaps try a cold compress on it so cool the skin down?
Something like aloe vera is good as all it does it pull in more water into the skin to rehydrate it. It's soothing and that has worked on my sweat rashes in the past and any general itchy, sore areas of skin.
Don't have any but washed the lotion off and going to try hydrocorizone cream. We are at a hotel and it would be very hard for us to go out and get something. Will try that maybe it will help. I think that I have used the lotion before and ended up washing it off. Also I think I used triple antibotic cream with success. I guess it will be trial and error. Thanks anyway .. I will let you know if it gets better with the cream.
Try not to panic over your hands mnaha.
It is natural that if you rub an area that it is over hot or has a rash for it to spread if you move the area around by rubbing and touching.
I would be careful what creams you use and would keep to natural as much as possible.
I recently had a stinger in my knee and it became infected because my trousers were rubbing against it continuously.
A cold compress will calm it down, but I am a great believer is something called calamine lotion that is used for heatstroke, viruses and rashes.
It is a cooling and anti itching agent and can be bought over the counter.
You can use it on kids as well.
Try to keep your hands out of the bed when you sleep as well, they need to keep cool and if they itch, blow gentle cool air on them rather then scratch. :lac:
My partner had rashes all over his thighs a couple of months ago and it looked as though the iron had been left on them it was so big and he is fine now.
I think he eventually got some aqueous cream from the Doctors in the end.
We also use that on his 90 year old Ma as she is forever getting rashes all over the body. Make sure you use natural soap too.
Try to stay calm. :)
MyNameIsTerry
15-04-16, 11:45
Aqueous cream is like E45 cream, isn't it?
Camomile lotion is an old fashioned one, we always used it. They use it for nappy rash... not that I've reached the stage of needing nappies again yet. :winks:
Yeah, E45 is good too. :)
No, it's calamine lotion not camomile. ( I think you meant that anyway Terry:D).
This rash is weird. One minute it looks terrible and the next not so bad. I washed the lotion off last night and have not put anything else on it. I think I remember doing that before and it suddenly went away . I thought I would give it till tonight and if not better try the hydrocorizone cream . This is kind of nerve wracking. Also I was reading the forum here last night about someone obsessing about breathing and all of a sudden I can't get my mind off my breathing and it seems I think that I have to make myself breathe. I also have some kind of allergy thing that is making me sneeze and lots of stuff coming from my nose. Its all so miserable. I don't know how to get my mind off of breathing and its making me a little crazy . Hopefully it will pass. The rash reminds me of poison ivy when I was a child or a rash I got from penicillin one time. I just wish this would all stop. The breathing thing makes me real nervous and I have done everything I can to get my mind off of it. I went to sleep early last night and slept off and on through the night but when I woke today I still became aware of the breathing thing and think that I have to take deep breaths every few minutes and make sure I am breathing. I have had the breathing thing before but it usually goes away quickly when I get busy with other things but today I keep trying to find something to get my mind off of it and can't .. Wish me luck.. I don't know how to stop it.
Rash seems a little better today and the breathing thing I think is fading but my neck muscles and throat are not so good. I feel like I am choking and I have gunk in my throat. We are trying to rest around and relax. I am anxious about tomorrow and hopefully can just try to relax and don't worry.
That's good news about the rash. Choking is another classic sign of anxiety and stress.
I am not surprised you are having all of these symptoms. You have plenty of time to work up in to over stressed state. Once you hit the road you will feel better.
This is from a person who used to burst in to tears even getting in to a car.
It's second nature to me now. Keep focused, make small talk, maybe sing a song, whatever it takes you to do this, and you will and come out the other side. :)
Will try ...Thank you so much.. It seems better at times....
Thinking of you and your journey and hope you have arrived at your destination.
Thinking of you and your journey and hope you have arrived at your destination.
We arrived at the number three spot today . I drove 286 miles bringing our total to 723 miles almost half way on our journey. The trip was pretty uneventful starting out. I was so so so nervous but all the support I have gotten here from you and others really helped me through.
As we got close to the place where we are Brigham Utah, I got really nervous and tired ...again the gas on the heart and my heart really pounded today from about 15 miles away from where we are today . We are also at 4467 ft almost a third higher than we were this morning. I don't think I have issues at high altitude so I hope there is no problem. We have stayed at 8600 ft above sea level before years ago without any problems so maybe we will be ok.
Anyway we are tired and just got through eating about an hour ago and probably going to bed early . Last evening a good nights sleep seem to go a long way today . We outdid our last record of 229 miles at a time but once again I do want to thank you and others here that posted giving me moral support and tell you that I am very grateful for it and it seems to really be having an affect on me.
Also since I haven't posted my map here of our destination and trip I am posting it here and a photo I took from our hotel room this afternoon. Carnation thank you again and I will keep reporting here to let you know how things are going.
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MyNameIsTerry
18-04-16, 04:37
Rashes are largely just annoying. My mum has sensitive skin which has been made much worse by her GP's playing guinea pig with her blood pressure meds. With hers it's a matter of struggling to sleep with the intense itching it brings when they play around with these meds.
So, if it's not to that level, I really wouldn't worry.
I can't say I've ever seen a rash from poison ivy but if you grabbed a handful of nettles, it could look like that.
Driving a lot is bound to give you various back, neck and leg aches. I would put those down to that. It could be muscular tension too but my money would be on the rubbish car positions since I can't say I've been in a car in my life that gives a good position. Vans and lorries have always felt better for me!
Rashes are largely just annoying. My mum has sensitive skin which has been made much worse by her GP's playing guinea pig with her blood pressure meds. With hers it's a matter of struggling to sleep with the intense itching it brings when they play around with these meds.
So, if it's not to that level, I really wouldn't worry.
I can't say I've ever seen a rash from poison ivy but if you grabbed a handful of nettles, it could look like that.
Driving a lot is bound to give you various back, neck and leg aches. I would put those down to that. It could be muscular tension too but my money would be on the rubbish car positions since I can't say I've been in a car in my life that gives a good position. Vans and lorries have always felt better for me!
Actually Terry ,when I quit putting lotion or anything on my hands it stopped itching. It is still there but doesn't seem near as bad today as it was. Could be contact dermatitis but yes oh yes poison ivy has a disastrous affect on me. This rash here is nothing compared to what I have had in the past from poison ivy..We are traveling by toyota tundra extended cab .. a wonderfully comfortable truck and its very very safe and heavy duty . It has reclining seats and plenty of foot room and also comfortable seats. I would be willing to bet that the pain is just tension pains but I am no expert.
Took a ibprophen and it took care of most pains but I have a knot under the corner of my jaw that I think is a lymph node and its decided to swell today but tomorrow it coul be gone. I do have a little sore throat so that is probably why either way my wife was proud of us today and I am proud of us today and hopefully when we get back on the road again we will be proud another day.
We talked to our daughter today in Tucson and she said that for us to just take our time and make it like a vacation and just let her know a couple days ahead to get our room ready so all in all it seemed like a good day but guess we will know tomorrow.
I am adding a few more photos of where we are here for you and others so you know what we are looking at here. The town is quaint and nestled in the mountains of Utah and has some really unusual features.. Anyway thank you again ,you are very appreciated .
Don't know if you saw my other post above to Carnation about how you and her and others have helped me and stayed with me on my journey and I thank you and I am very grateful for all you and others have done..I just hope that things will continue to go as planned and one day we will finish this long drive and be home.
:yahoo:
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It looks beautiful mnaha. What a lovely place to stop. :)
Carnation, It has been an absolutely beautiful day here and the weather could not have been better. We have been resting and got out for a bit and walked. At first it was kind of nerve racking and thought I was having altitude sickness but it turned out that I was just nervous and I am ok ,I think. Normally we order food out instead of going to get it ourselves but today I took the plunge and we drove for some take out. It felt really good and I could actually feel a little less nervous. It must have been fine because with altitude sickness you loose your appetite and I was anything but a loss for an appetite lol.. I was famished . Anyway breathing is better and I feel a little more relaxed and so I am having little successes here and there.
We are very lucky my wife choose this little village here in the mountains. She did it just by dumb luck but it is really awesome and so cozy and reminds me of places in Europe..just really feels good . I am so glad she found it and choose it to stop even though I was so tired.
Anyway to make sure we weren't suffering from altitude sickness we decided to stay another day and acclimate because the next leg of our journey is going to be through areas that are over 7000 feet but I think we will be up for it. So we will be leaving here on Weds and traveling about 300 more miles and that will really be a clincher .
We will be going through Las Vegas and across the Hoover Dam . I am so looking forward to that because it is world famous .. the dam I mean but I think Vegas is too. Anyway we are continuing to rest and gain our strength and try to relax and look at our successes. Thank you again for your being here and being supportive. Wish you were here. I think you would really like it, but it means so much to me that you are here in our hearts and spirit. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
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PS ....Rash is so much better. Thanks again for everything!
What an inspiring post. :)
What a different person you sound to when you first set off.
It's so nice to hear that you are actually enjoying it as well.
I bet you did not expect to feel as good as you do, but you see you have broken through that fear barrier, you have been feeding your brain with more positives and less negatives. You are starting to become more balanced and confident. :hugs:
What an inspiring post. :)
What a different person you sound to when you first set off.
It's so nice to hear that you are actually enjoying it as well.
I bet you did not expect to feel as good as you do, but you see you have broken through that fear barrier, you have been feeding your brain with more positives and less negatives. You are starting to become more balanced and confident. :hugs:
No Carnation ...the same person but trying ever so hard. I thank you for your kind words and uplifting message to me. It made me smile :flowers: I have to admit no I did not expect to feel anything other than nervousness but I keep pushing to try. This morning I did not feel like getting up ,really felt bad and thinking possibly I had altitude sickness ,almost convinced myself ..My wife went outside and walked a little and came back in and said maybe I would feel better in the sun and air. I said no and was just about to close my eyes and looked outside and thought ..what a beautiful day.
I got up and walked outside and of course I felt that I could not breathe..not real by the way , just nerves.. I walked a little and then came back in and still felt it might be altitude sickness, finally went back outside and my wife came out and we walked down the hill to the office and got some ice and walked back. When I got back I thought yeah its got to be altitude sickness, and I laid down.. after a few minutes I caught my breath or started to feel better whichever not sure but I ask her what we could order tonight.
As it turns out there was no delivery here except for pizza and did not want that so I looked down the highway for restaurants and there were quite a few and then I kept looking for an errand service,anybody to deliver and there was no one.
Well at that point I told my wife ,lets go and get something for tonight and she grabbed our keys and such and we took off. I was so very nervous and was sure my heart was pounding but it wasn't really that fast. We drove down the road and went to the drive through and as i sat there boxed in I started to calm down and after a few minutes of ordering and going through the drive through I was feeling better. As we headed back for our hotel room I started feeling like I had a sudden breakthrough and it felt good.
I don't know how long this feeling will last but I will try to keep it alive and try very hard not to let go of it. It is getting dark now and not my favorite time of day recently although I really love this time of day it feels a little lonesome. Our son called from Tucson and he is happy to hear where we are and was telling us about some of the scenery where we are going and what to see etc and sounded pretty excited , and it was nice to talk to him.
Hopefully I will keep being a little more positive and balanced and I am trying ever so hard. I hope that it keeps getting better and I can start to feel my old self again soon. I am kind of getting excited about what our son said that our daughter is preparing for us ,they are really going out of their way to make things nice for us to be there with them. Anyway thank you again for your encouragement and you kind supportive words.. This is some of your handiwork and others that has helped so very much. Keep your fingers crossed for me to continue to improve. :bighug1:
MyNameIsTerry
19-04-16, 05:00
Love that view of the mountains.
Where in Europe does it remind you of? Switzerland? My brother has done a fair but of skiing over the years so has been a few places in Europe. He's just come back from Lapland, here's been there quite a few times now.
I think a 4x4 would be my choice. Far better seating position being high than in a low down car for me. Never found it comfortable being tall.
Love that view of the mountains.
Where in Europe does it remind you of? Switzerland? My brother has done a fair but of skiing over the years so has been a few places in Europe. He's just come back from Lapland, here's been there quite a few times now.
I think a 4x4 would be my choice. Far better seating position being high than in a low down car for me. Never found it comfortable being tall.
Torla, Spain
Cavalese, Italy
Notre Dame de Bellecombe, France
Grindewald, Switzerland
Canazei, Italy
I used to ski them all just a few years ago. Never been to Lapland but I heard its nice . Well I don't have a 4x4 and don't plan on buying one ever. The Toyota I bought new in 2000 and has 94 thousand miles on it and is all the truck i will ever need or want. I could have had a 4 x 4 but had a four wheeler that cost a lot and it was fine for running the mountains from my truck and the trails. I used to 6 ft and now I am 5'10' because of disk deterioration so guess I don't have to worry about being tall anymore, and as it looks won't have to worry about that and other things as much as I my body is deteriorating , I am just glad to have the truck at this point and still be able to drive at all.
I would be excited too mnaha. :)
That's exactly what you need in your life. Excitement, people, new beginnings, projects, family, love and a purpose.
Like I said before, this could be a turning point for you.
Do you know that one of the main causes of anxiety and panic attacks is LIFETSTYLE!
You now have the opportunity to change this. I bet that already your wife is feeling different too. She will have noticed the change in you; however slight. She then gains more confidence and vigour and in turn you will bounce of each other.
Yes, you will have moments that you don't feel quite right and the old thoughts try to push their back in to your head, but hey, a moment you can handle.
Isn't it a breakthrough if the moments of bad are overridden with the hours of good instead of the other way round? You can handle that. You are much, much stronger than you think and I can hear that you have a love for life and the wonderful natures around us. Enjoy them. It is there for you to enjoy and you deserve to do just that. :) It feels me with great warmth to know I may have helped you on your journey. :hugs:
Hi Carnation, I am sorry I didn't get a chance to post before now and I know its late there in the UK. I didn't sleep well last night. I ate alot at dinner and drank more coffee than I usually do. I laid down to sleep and felt that I could not breathe . I am not sure what was going on but it took me a long time to get to sleep .I think my food was still digesting and it caused my heart to pump up and down while I was trying to get to sleep and caused me to be uncomfortable.
I have been sleeping off and on all day and just snoozing and did not even really get out. I hope tonight I will be able to sleep ok because I really believe that sleeping enough is what helping anxiety stay away helps.
I have been mixed feelings about leaving tomorrow , and on one hand I feel excited yet on the other hand I feel nervous. I have been thinking about everything and it would be so easy to stay another day but thinking I am pretty sure we don't have altitude sickness not that we ever did but just wanted to make sure and there is no real reason to put off getting started I suppose.
I have been a little depressed today because I am really losing and lost interest in so many things I once did. I guess since I didn't feel good last night I am feeling a little down but suppose once we get started tomorrow I will be ok, hopefully .
I am pretty sure the depression I have suffered in the last few years is from the lifestyle we have been living and with my health seeming to be bad I have kind of plummeted down a spiraling slope to depression. I am a little scared that I won't ever be able to get back to normal and with my health declining I worry that I might not be able to have a happy life anymore and that surely makes me depressed but only the future holds the answer I suppose.
I think my wife is feeling a little better but she is tired and getting started in the morning will be tough on her. Anyway I suppose time will tell. She is happy that we have gotten as far as we have and excited that we are getting nearer.
I hope that I am stronger Carnation as I surely will need to be to continue to enjoy life and be happy . It is so hard to be old and health failing and not being able to do many of the things you used to enjoy and also being unsure of what you still can do. Its very depressing.
Also when we were in Oregon we stayed in and went to the doctor all the time because I had to because he was bound by law to do checks on me to make sure the medicines weren't hurting me. I am terrified of doctors yet out of the doctors I have always liked and could tolerate he was the best and now I have to start all over again and I can't get medicine from him anymore because its been eight months since I saw him last so I have to go to the ER for medicines if run out because no one can write me prescriptions
but then there are web services called My Md. I used them once for one of my medicines but not sure if I can get all of them through them but hope that I can.
Anyway I don't like having to go to the doctor every month but can't just quit the medicines . I am worried about finding a doctor and not getting my medicines and it shouldn't be that way .Its like being held hostage.
I am just rambling now since I am really nervous about tomorrow and sad pondering the future. I hope when we get down there that my life will change and things will be better and I will be happier than I was in Oregon . But I am still grateful for the small successes that I have and know there are so many others that have it far worse than I do. At least I have been able to get this far and there is hope that all will be ok.
I thank you and the others once again for everything and hope you all have a wonderful night and pleasant day tomorrow.
georgewing
20-04-16, 06:19
Well i think to much stress its acumulated and your body needs a pause .You see we work a lot and after a whyle we feel tired etc because we use our body to much
mnaha. Do you have to leave tomorrow? It does sound that you are tired and you are in a beautiful place. Nothing is set in stone. If you can stay on for another day and you want to and feel you need it to rest up, then I would. :)
I don't think you should worry yourself about a new Doctor. I think your Son will help you out with all of that. After all, he will have one too, won't he?
You are doing what most of us do when we are unsure about the unknown.
Panicking over the 'What Ifs?' This is very common especially when we are lying in bed, trying to sleep.
Depression and anxiety are like 'salt and pepper'. They bounce of each other.
It's not you that is the depressive person, it's the anxiety bringing on the depression.
Less anxiety and the depressive feeling fades. So, this is something that can be helped with a new lifestyle and hope and dreams and feeling good in your surroundings. :)
You keep saying you are old. You are not! I think what you are feeling is being afraid of getting old! I have a neighbour who is 94 and he is amazing and travels around the world and everything. Puts me to shame. Don't grow old before your time. :hugs:
You say that you are nervous about tomorrow? Is that because of that particular leg of the journey or because you are getting closer? Or are you doubting your capabilities again? Or is it because you think you may been unwell? Could be all of them!
Firstly, you have to pat your self on the back for getting this far. Secondly, the body and mind has a brilliant knack of coping under stress, that's why you feel so tired now. And lastly, you have to go forward, you can't go back. Besides what's there to go back for? Your future and life lies in front of you. Remember that when you set off on your journey again.
I am very impressed with your capabilities and composure mnaha and you should be too. :)
Staying another day. Feel so tired..and took a nap and feel like my throat is choking me. I think it might be gas doing that making me feel like a choking sensation I don't know. I am not sure why I am nervous but glad we aren't going today . I just feel bad and I wish we were already there. I thank you for your post and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day .
---------- Post added at 11:23 ---------- Previous post was at 11:12 ----------
I do have a lymph node in the right side of my neck that has never gone down all the way and worry that it might be throat cancer and as bad as I feel today I wonder if its cancer making me feel drained and my throat feeling like I can't swallow and tight?I went to a ent with that lymph node swollen months ago but he said it was a lymph node and did not see anything suspicious and my follow up with the doctor he said I didn't have cancer but that was months ago. They had done full blood test so I don't know if they could determine that or not but he said I didn't . We just went out and walked down the hill to the office and I sat there in a chair for a little while and walked back up the hill with no real problems but my throat still feels chokey . I ate part of a bagel and it seemed to go down ok and water does to but my throat feels bad, I wish it would just go away.
Anyway Carnation thank you again for everything. I hope that I am not being whiney its just I am not feeling as good as I was but like I said tomorrow is another day .....:scared15:
Mnaha
I'm glad you stayed one more day. It is quite a gruelling journey you are on (literally)
Although you are having stress symptoms, you are also equally aware how external influences are affecting your body. IE food and caffeine.
Remember all things ease with rest and time.
You have accomplished so much on this journey and should be so proud. I applaud you!
There are good and bad doctors everywhere and as carnation says, your son will know good DR's in your new area.
X
Daily, thanks, i seem to be feeling better. i did get out for a walk and also have had the window and the door open most of the day . Yes caffine and food can affect you in so many ways and I guess I forget that sometimes and its not like we are at home and have a great choice of good wholesome foods but are trying to eat well but its so hard on the road.
I just have to realize that things don't change overnight and just try to remain positive and keep hoping it will all change soon. Thank you for your kind words and positive thoughts it means so much to me. Im sure my son will help me sort out the doctor thing and everything will be ok. I guess I worry too much and should try not to . Thanks again . Michael
I think it is the tiredness that brings a lot of these feelings on mnaha.
There's the extra adrenalin as well and I am sure that a lot of that is pumping around when you are driving.
Just take it easy, go when you are ready. You are doing brilliantly; never doubt that. :)
MyNameIsTerry
21-04-16, 09:27
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. A bad nights sleep can throw us off and feeling dog rough all day doesn't help either. Everything seems to worse and time drags.
Try and enjoy getting out in your surroundings, those views are amazing! Have a walk and breathe some nice mountain air. Perhaps it will remind you of past times when you have been enjoying your adventures?
All this stuff that is popping up is classic anxiety. It moves from one symptom to another, one illness to the next, somebody with an actual illness would be unlikely to be so unlucky to experience so many different things. It's just anxiety looking for things to focus on that before we would have just shrugged off, the sensitisation issue.
I think it is the tiredness that brings a lot of these feelings on mnaha.
There's the extra adrenalin as well and I am sure that a lot of that is pumping around when you are driving.
Just take it easy, go when you are ready. You are doing brilliantly; never doubt that. :)
Very tired. We left this morning and drove another 315 miles and are right outside of Vegas. We will stay here until Sunday and relax . The rash on my hand looks terrible. We stopped by a pharmacy and my wife asked the pharmacist if I should go to the hospital and she said that I should just put hydrocortisone on it .The hospital would do the same . Also she recommended luciderm lotion and another type of super sun block with healing moisturizer in it .
Anyway will see how that works. We have to more stretches to go after this before we get to our destination . They will be less than 300 miles and we will just take our time. At least we are only a little over 500 miles left. We have traveled a total of 1050 miles at this point.
Carnation I am sure its adrenalin and trying to rationalize that and deal with it. I thank you again for responding here and keeping me in your thoughts and your support.
---------- Post added at 17:32 ---------- Previous post was at 17:26 ----------
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. A bad nights sleep can throw us off and feeling dog rough all day doesn't help either. Everything seems to worse and time drags.
Try and enjoy getting out in your surroundings, those views are amazing! Have a walk and breathe some nice mountain air. Perhaps it will remind you of past times when you have been enjoying your adventures?
All this stuff that is popping up is classic anxiety. It moves from one symptom to another, one illness to the next, somebody with an actual illness would be unlikely to be so unlucky to experience so many different things. It's just anxiety looking for things to focus on that before we would have just shrugged off, the sensitisation issue.
Thanks Terry, we have been enjoying mile and miles of scenery and mountain air. Yeah and I suppose its anxiety and maybe one day will pass. I get very depressed that I ever have to deal with it at all. I don't want it and trying as hard as I can to get over it but only time will tell I suppose. We are comfortable until Sunday right out of Vegas and trying very hard to relax and put the anxiety away hopefully for the time being. We drove 315 miles today making out total at 1050 miles.
We have about 500 more and that will be it. We will make that in less than 300 mile stretches and take out time then we will be where our kids are. I won't say home because I am not sure it ever will be for me, as I was at home and that is no more. I will try to make the best of it but only time will tell.
Thanks for your post and support. I am very grateful.
So you are staying with 'Penn & Teller' then? :D
Sorry to hear the hand is still playing you up. I hope the lotion/cream is helping.
My partner gets rashes when ever his stress levels are up. The first time he was freaking out, but he now knows it is a stress/anxiety thing.
Make sure you get plenty of rest and gain your strength before going on to the next leg. I feel like I have done the journey with you. And although you say that I have helped me, I feel that I have gained strength from you with feeling your courage and perseverance in this journey. :) :yesyes:
So you are staying with 'Penn & Teller' then? :D
Sorry to hear the hand is still playing you up. I hope the lotion/cream is helping.
My partner gets rashes when ever his stress levels are up. The first time he was freaking out, but he now knows it is a stress/anxiety thing.
Make sure you get plenty of rest and gain your strength before going on to the next leg. I feel like I have done the journey with you. And although you say that I have helped me, I feel that I have gained strength from you with feeling your courage and perseverance in this journey. :) :yesyes:
You are so sweet. Not quite at Vegas yet but getting there. We won't be staying there but on the other side going towards Arizona. It will be nice to see Vegas again. It has been many years since I was last there. The creams seem to be working somewhat but I keep getting outside and forgetting that I did not put anything on my hands so hopefully they will still get better but I will keep putting the creams on them.
This rash this time really looks bizarre since my skin has aged so much in the last years so it kind of creeps me out. Tonight we are going to watch some of our shows that we usually watch on television so hopefully we will feel more like home. During the day the weather has been so nice and I have been outside but I keep looking at the weather forcast for where we will be calling home and thinking "what were we thinking?" I feel so sad inside and can't shake it.
I wonder if I will ever get over the nervousness that I have endured on this trip , and although we are nearing the end ,I still feel that am anxious about the last two legs of the journey. I thought the more we went the better it would be but it isn't . I just don't know why....
I hate this anxiety stuff. I worry about being old getting older and feeling so bad all the time. I wonder if it ever gets better or will. I am worried that this will keep happening and I still worry what its going to be like in Tucson. So many people that hear we are moving there just says.. Man.. it is so hot there. Yes I know its hot there but we aren't going there for the weather, we are going there to be close to family and hope that all works out.
It will be so weird to be close to family as we have lived to ourselves for so long..I am so very worried.. I just have a sinking feeling in my heart and just want to go home but I don't have a home anymore. Its a very confusing feeling.. and filled with so much anxiety.
I want all the worry and fear to just go away . I hate it. What did I do to start all of this all over again? Anyway just a note to tell you how sweet you are. I loved what you said about giving you strength and being on a journey with me. I hope you still feel that way after all my whining here.
You have been so good to me to stay with me through this and to post to me everyday . I am posting a few little photos of the place I am here so you can kind of know what I am looking at. I hope you have a wonderful weekend Carnation and thank you so much for your support of courage and strength you have given me. Take care and will let you know when we are on our way again and maybe if anything comes up in the meantime will post again but
when we are on the next leg of the journey .
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Wow, wow and wow. Absolutely stunning pictures. :)
I read through your post as usual and I am not at all surprised that you are feeling the way you do. The reason that the last part of the journey seems more difficult, is because you are going in to the unknown. You can't picture this as your home yet, you left your home behind and you really don't know how it is going to pan out.
Firstly, you will be with your family and that is important. Secondly, it will be a fresh start for you. Although you have left your home behind, as you say, it is no good if you are too ill to enjoy it. It is much better to be in a place that you feel good about yourself than be in familiar surroundings that you can't really enjoy.
For now, just concentrate on the journey and take in as much as you can to tell your family about when you get there. None of us like to take risks, but you are not. What you are doing is the best thing.
I remember when I had to move with Mr C and it was 300 miles away and I was not too pleased with his choice. It turned out to be the most wonderful place and met some lovely people and although we have returned back to our original home town, I want to go back and keep nagging him to do so. So, don't fret at this stage. Curiosity is fine, fear is not. x
Wow, wow and wow. Absolutely stunning pictures. :)
I read through your post as usual and I am not at all surprised that you are feeling the way you do. The reason that the last part of the journey seems more difficult, is because you are going in to the unknown. You can't picture this as your home yet, you left your home behind and you really don't know how it is going to pan out.
Firstly, you will be with your family and that is important. Secondly, it will be a fresh start for you. Although you have left your home behind, as you say, it is no good if you are too ill to enjoy it. It is much better to be in a place that you feel good about yourself than be in familiar surroundings that you can't really enjoy.
For now, just concentrate on the journey and take in as much as you can to tell your family about when you get there. None of us like to take risks, but you are not. What you are doing is the best thing.
I remember when I had to move with Mr C and it was 300 miles away and I was not too pleased with his choice. It turned out to be the most wonderful place and met some lovely people and although we have returned back to our original home town, I want to go back and keep nagging him to do so. So, don't fret at this stage. Curiosity is fine, fear is not. x
I am trying as hard as I can to relax. This living out of hotel rooms can be kind of fun and then there are downsides to it. I feel lost a lot of times. We don't watch to much tv because the tv is smaller than ours and hard to see and hard to hear. Its 32 inch flat screen but its still not ours and what we are accustom to.
I find that I am ansi because I don't know what to do here. There are only so many things I feel like doing online and my eyes hurt a lot so when I use the computer my eyes get tired quickly. I woke this morning feeling like I couldn't breathe again and its cold here, not something we will ever experience where we are going so I don't know whether to savor the cold as a fleeting experience or to be annoyed by it because I feel bad.
My stomach is killing me and I feel like I have a belt around it. I feel hungry one minute and like I am going to throw up the next. Its miserable. I don't know what is wrong but putting it down to anxiety .
I wish I could just feel good for one day , just enjoy life like I used to. Although we are in such a beautiful place its hard to enjoy because the way I feel but yes I am trying to take in what I can to tell the kids but we talk to our daughter everyday so she is taking in everything on the phone I suppose.
I hope this move turns out to be wonderful and like what you experienced and I am keeping an open mind. I am trying to accept everything I feel as anxiety and just put it away , its hard but it works sometime. As far as I know we are planning to leave here on Monday morning since we decided to stay one more day .
My wife is trying to time our arrival in Tucson to when my daughter will be off for the weekend so she suggested staying another day and why not? What does it matter anyway . It is already getting very hot in Tuccon but think there will be a few days that are slightly cooler the day we are suppose to arrive so its anyone's guess. Thanks again for posting and keeping up with me. Take care and hope you have a wonderful whats left of the weekend.
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They call the stomach the second brain mnaha, that's why you could be having problems. I think that's also where the expression 'A gut Feeling' comes from.
A stomach can turn over, gurgle, bloat, twitch and make you feel nauseas, because of your anxious thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes it is best to put your symptoms down to anxiety, it is less likely to freak yourself out that way.
I would definitely make use of the cooler air. It will also help your hand.
I think you are less tired than when you started your journey. Your body is obviously adjusting to a new routine.
I for one am very excited about your final arrival. :)
They call the stomach the second brain mnaha, that's why you could be having problems. I think that's also where the expression 'A gut Feeling' comes from.
A stomach can turn over, gurgle, bloat, twitch and make you feel nauseas, because of your anxious thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes it is best to put your symptoms down to anxiety, it is less likely to freak yourself out that way.
I would definitely make use of the cooler air. It will also help your hand.
I think you are less tired than when you started your journey. Your body is obviously adjusting to a new routine.
I for one am very excited about your final arrival. :)
I am trying so hard to put them down to anxiety . I just went outside and noticed my heart seemed to be beating faster. I drank a little more coffee than I am used to today and feel like I can't breathe very well. However I went to the bathroom before I went outside and happen to feel under my jaw and found the lymph node or whatever that is under my jaw and in front of my throat muscle seems to be swollen and tight.
I have just put it down to ongoing sinus issues and bad dental health but now that we are on the road it seems to be a hard knot instead of a soft lymph node. That might have stirred my anxiety up before going outside. I don't know. Carnation I guess the fact that we are so far from home and my familiar surroundings and my doctors and my hospital I am worried about something happening to me.
This place is foreign to me and I don't want to get sick here. Just a rush of all kinds of worries. Now the stomach thing has passed I am worried about the knot under my jaw. I haven't suffered any fever I don't think and the knot has stayed the same for about a year but seems to sometime get smaller but not sure its smaller or I just can't feel it because of the way I am turned but I worry its cancer or something bad.
About a year ago I went to an ent and he said he didn't see anything suspicious at that time and I had blood work but the knot still is there and not sure it ever goes down.. I hate hate hate this .. Just so sad that I have all these weird things to worry about.
It seems I get spurts of energy and then sometimes I get so tired. Last evening I was trying to go to sleep and could not sleep because I felt so bad and sometimes when we have been traveling I worry that I don't want to go to sleep because I am afraid of how I will wake up feeling. I have experienced everything while we have been on the road. Bad dizziness on waking , eyes so bad that I could hardly see and hot and heart pounding and so many others..
I guess I am just a complainer and for that I am sorry and will try to put it all down to anxiety and hope for the best and thank you again for responding. You have gone out of your way to comfort me and its greatly appreciated . I don't want to seem ungrateful and I am not. I am just frightened and worried and suppose thats natural . At least hopefully it will be over soon.
I am not sure of what routine my body is adjusting so since is so chaotic but I think I will be glad to be done too.. Thank you once again.
Everything you have mentioned I have too. So I can tell here and now, it IS anxiety.
Your senses will be heightened due to your fear. Health Anxiety is a nightmare to live with, but I don't have to tell you that. Please don't think it is anything more, I have exactly the same as you and I can tell you as well, that it CAN ALL disappear as well.
I can say that, because I have experienced it. :hugs:
They call the stomach the second brain mnaha, that's why you could be having problems. I think that's also where the expression 'A gut Feeling' comes from.
A stomach can turn over, gurgle, bloat, twitch and make you feel nauseas, because of your anxious thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes it is best to put your symptoms down to anxiety, it is less likely to freak yourself out that way.
I would definitely make use of the cooler air. It will also help your hand.
I think you are less tired than when you started your journey. Your body is obviously adjusting to a new routine.
I for one am very excited about your final arrival. :)
I wanted to show you where the knot is located . I have outlined a red circle on this photo . It is about maybe 2cm it seems across and seems hard and has been there for a year but other times my wife says it seems soft and movable to me it seems hard and large.
She says that it seems to go down sometime and it does seem to go down sometimes but it hurts sometime and sometimes it doesn't . I have a terrible fear its cancer but the ent examined me said he did not see anything suspicious and my doctor had given me blood work and said it wasn't cancer but that was a year ago and its still there.
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Everything you have mentioned I have too. So I can tell here and now, it IS anxiety.
Your senses will be heightened due to your fear. Health Anxiety is a nightmare to live with, but I don't have to tell you that. Please don't think it is anything more, I have exactly the same as you and I can tell you as well, that it CAN ALL disappear as well.
I can say that, because I have experienced it. :hugs:
Sorry Carnation I did not see this post before putting the last one up. I will put it all down to anxiety as you said you have all of it too. That helps me so very much ! You are so very kind and thank you for your kindness. Here is me going to try again..and so sorry to keep complaining again and again.. Sorry again.. Feeling embarrassed :doh::doh::doh: Once again hope you have a wonderful whats left of the weekend and you have made me feel so much better and hope you are blessed for being kind to an old man. Take care sweetie. :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
---------- Post added at 12:49 ---------- Previous post was at 12:43 ----------
PS .please call me Michael
That's ok Michael. I get that too,; especially when I am over tired or stressed.
I know what it is like to think every symptom and feeling is something serious.
It is like we are waiting for something bad to happen and our Mind/Body is in prep mode waiting for the terrible thing to happen to us. The more we think like this, the worse the anxiety becomes. We can even mimic a symptom of something we obcess about. It is possible to do that. My Father had Parkinsons Disease and I started to mimic some of his symptoms. It is unbelievable how the brain can work like this.
I got so fed-up with over analysing that one day I just thought, "Sod it". I can't be asked anymore with all this worrying. bring it on, if something is going to happen and nothing did and when I started to change my thought process and relate any symptom or feeling to the Anxiety, even if there was a doubt that it may be something, the symptoms and feelings became less and less.
I am not 100% cured, but I am able to live a reasonable life and surprise myself sometimes how strong I actually am and what my capabilities are. Just like you. Did you doubt that you could make this journey? Did you worry that you may become ill through the journey? Did you worry about your safety and comfort zones?
And the truth is nothing bad did happen to you through your journey.
It's like we have to have something to obsess about and think that we can't possibly be healthy. But maybe we are?
I was told by a very intelligent medical person that Anxiety is there to protect us. That we should NOT fear it and that it proves that our body is working as it should be.
Keep that in mind throughout your journey Michael. This man was no fool and explained it all to me and made me feel better and I want you to as well. :hugs:
That's ok Michael. I get that too,; especially when I am over tired or stressed.
I know what it is like to think every symptom and feeling is something serious.
It is like we are waiting for something bad to happen and our Mind/Body is in prep mode waiting for the terrible thing to happen to us. The more we think like this, the worse the anxiety becomes. We can even mimic a symptom of something we obcess about. It is possible to do that. My Father had Parkinsons Disease and I started to mimic some of his symptoms. It is unbelievable how the brain can work like this.
I got so fed-up with over analysing that one day I just thought, "Sod it". I can't be asked anymore with all this worrying. bring it on, if something is going to happen and nothing did and when I started to change my thought process and relate any symptom or feeling to the Anxiety, even if there was a doubt that it may be something, the symptoms and feelings became less and less.
I am not 100% cured, but I am able to live a reasonable life and surprise myself sometimes how strong I actually am and what my capabilities are. Just like you. Did you doubt that you could make this journey? Did you worry that you may become ill through the journey? Did you worry about your safety and comfort zones?
And the truth is nothing bad did happen to you through your journey.
It's like we have to have something to obsess about and think that we can't possibly be healthy. But maybe we are?
I was told by a very intelligent medical person that Anxiety is there to protect us. That we should NOT fear it and that it proves that our body is working as it should be.
Keep that in mind throughout your journey Michael. This man was no fool and explained it all to me and made me feel better and I want you to as well. :hugs:
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Thank you Carnation I think you have made a difference and you are appreciated.
That's ok Michael. I get that too,; especially when I am over tired or stressed.
I know what it is like to think every symptom and feeling is something serious.
It is like we are waiting for something bad to happen and our Mind/Body is in prep mode waiting for the terrible thing to happen to us. The more we think like this, the worse the anxiety becomes. We can even mimic a symptom of something we obcess about. It is possible to do that. My Father had Parkinsons Disease and I started to mimic some of his symptoms. It is unbelievable how the brain can work like this.
I got so fed-up with over analysing that one day I just thought, "Sod it". I can't be asked anymore with all this worrying. bring it on, if something is going to happen and nothing did and when I started to change my thought process and relate any symptom or feeling to the Anxiety, even if there was a doubt that it may be something, the symptoms and feelings became less and less.
I am not 100% cured, but I am able to live a reasonable life and surprise myself sometimes how strong I actually am and what my capabilities are. Just like you. Did you doubt that you could make this journey? Did you worry that you may become ill through the journey? Did you worry about your safety and comfort zones?
And the truth is nothing bad did happen to you through your journey.
It's like we have to have something to obsess about and think that we can't possibly be healthy. But maybe we are?
I was told by a very intelligent medical person that Anxiety is there to protect us. That we should NOT fear it and that it proves that our body is working as it should be.
Keep that in mind throughout your journey Michael. This man was no fool and explained it all to me and made me feel better and I want you to as well. :hugs:
Yes Carnation I worried that I could not make the journey and still with two short legs left of the journey I still worry. I still worry about my safety and comfort zones even when we arrive it will be weird for me. I wish I had a supply of Valium but I don't . I have been making do with Beta Blockers. I have really experienced some weird feelings on this trip. At the moment I feel like there is nothing for me to do and I am feeling a little anxious and my eyes have been playing tricks on me and other bizarre feelings but as you said trying very hard to mark it down to anxiety and just know that it will pass.
As far as I know nothing bad has happened along the journey and hopefully it won't . Still worried..:-( Whatever that is on my neck inbetween my jaw and neck muscle is swollen and hurts and feels hard. I can't hardly move my neck without it hurting. I know it seems that our mind says that we can't possibly be healthy but my wife says that other than being pre-diabetic and not really being diabetic and a little high blood pressure she is sure that I am in good shape because the doctor says that I was or assures her my heart is healthy and says that I have anxiety but I haven't been to the doctor in almost eight months and hopefully nothing has changed other than I might be a little healthier from being active hopefully.
I too am trying so hard to just say the heck with it all and if something bad happens then so be it and trying not to pay attention to all of it but sometimes you know its very hard.
Tomorrow morning we leave for our next to last leg of the journey and maybe that is why I am feeling so anxious today and experiencing so many things and feelings. We will go to Kingman Az and stay for a day or two and then head on down to Tucson on our final leg .I am so worried about the weather being hot as it taxes my heart and makes it beat faster but then I think according to RLR in a post I saw online that its a normal thing but I hate it beating fast as it is uncomfortable for me. But maybe the beta blockers will help.. hopefully .Also I wish someone that knows about knots in the neck would read my post here and see what they think? I explained above how long I have had the knot and it seems and I can't be sure that it goes down and then back up sometimes but I could be wrong about that because its between the muscle and the jaw so it could be just the way my neck is turned at the time. Right now though it is hurting and swollen I think.
Just so much to worry about I sure hate all this and wish so very much it could go away . Anyway hope you had a nice weekend and thanks again for everything.
Anxiety is very real and when it is high it can cause the senses to be over sensitive to the point of not knowing what is real or not. The thing about our body/mind is that it has the ability to kick in to survival mode when we have to, even despite how bad we may be feeling, our capabilities are much stronger than anxiety will lead us to believe.
The worst part is always the run up to the event. The waiting, the preparation, the 'What Ifs', the fear!
Now, regarding your neck. I am not a Doctor, but I do have something similar.
I have lumps that appear in the same place you mention and they appear when I am run down, very tired or stressed. They are round, firm and movable and it is something that has never bothered me, because my Mum used to get this as did my Grandmother. If they come and go, then I think you can rule out anything serious.
As far as worrying about whether you are still healthy, well, do you really think you could have done all that you have done over the last month if you were ill?
I doubt it very much. Most of what you feel is caused by the anxiety and the symptoms are endless, but you have to remember that they are harmless, just uncomfortable and worrying. See them like that when something appears. Say,
"This is uncomfortable, but it is harmless". That tip came from my Therapist who is extremely good and has been through it herself.
With the heat issue. Well blood pressure goes down when you are warm, so that's a plus. The pounding heartbeat can be annoying, but that is just your adrenalin and once you focus on the driving it will subside. The heart can take a lot; it's the strongest and largest muscle in our body!
I know you rely on meds to get you through, but I am actually medication free!
So I know that it is possible to get through it without them, but I am aware that it gives you that extra help to cope. My partner is the opposite to me and grabs for the pills when he feels the slightest discomfort. What I saying is, don't think because you haven't taken something that you will be unable to cope.
You've done most of the journey now and that includes the packing of your belongings and you will feel a little more anxious as you get close, but that is normal anxiety, not the anxiety we feel when trying to sleep at night or relax in a chair. But some of it will be excitement, curiosity and relief. This is all normal.
So that leaves me to say; keep focused, stay calm and focus on the task. :hugs::)
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Hi mhna
I was interested to see ur picture of the neck muscled
When I was going through withdrawals from valium, EXTREME neck pain was my first symptom. I could hardly turn my head. It was as if I had cricked my neck and had shooting pains all across my shoulders, up my neck to my jaw, round my throat like someone was strangling me. It was bad for a month then took another 1-2 months to lessen and stop.
I never had these symptoms before valium nor since stopping valium.
Of course my GP told me it was not 'withdrawal' or valium !!
I take beta blockers prn, and I'm sure they will def help you, with your fast heart rate and take the edge of your anxiety
I can't applaud you enough.
You have done so amazingly well, to have travelled such a long distance with all the physical and mental worries you have had.
I agree with carnation. Every symptom can be due. JUST to anxiety alone.
The skin is the biggest organ of our body so it is not surprising that you are having rashes as a side effect of all the stress hormones floating around your body.
MyNameIsTerry
25-04-16, 08:47
Michael,
I love those pics. Amazing views. I don't know if you've heard of Billy Connelly, the Scottish comedian who now lives in the US, but he made a road trip programme of route 66 on a trike a few years back and he's just done another one using the train to cross the US West-to-East. They were really interesting. Seeing your pics is a bit like that!
I remember your issue with the lymph node from talking to you before about it. I also remember you saying you had some abscess issues with your teeth and remember me saying how lymph nodes swell due to localised infections that they detect? They swell to drain off, they are working harder than normal. Your doctors thoroughly checked all that out as well. Having a raised one in an area close to an infection is very likely the cause.
Yeah, why not have another day relaxing? There will be plenty of time at the new home soon. Enjoy some time on the road with your wife and see the sights.
Just checking in to see if you are ok? :hugs:
I have to say, the pics you're posting of the scenery are breath taking. I've been out west and as beautiful as those pics are, they don't do justice to what it's like in person. The shear majesty is humbling.
I live in the East in the Shenandoah Valley. It's equally as beautiful. I moved here because of that beauty and because of the mountains. I don't know about you but when I'm having a rough time, I'm a short drive away from a view of nature and peace and quiet. Being among the mountains and nature has a very calming effect on my soul. Watching the birds, a deer or other wildlife, feeling the breeze on my skin, seeing the sunset over the mountains to the West in George Washington National Park in WV makes you realize just how insignificant your worries really are. Life goes on despite our worries and fears. It's essentially therapy for me. A reality check of sorts.
Perhaps you can take some time to do the same? We're both at the age where there is some finality entering our lives. Fortunately for you, you have your health despite what you think. Me? Sheesh... I just value every day I can wake up and enjoy the things that are dear to me. I survived some very serious health issues that many don't. I'm here for a reason obviously :) I believe that's the "attitude" one needs to take in order to help fight anxiety. We have no control over so much in our lives but we do have control of the choices we make and how we react to things.
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we handle it" Charles Swindoll
Maybe it's time to make some conscious choices to enjoy your life instead of worrying about it. Breath in some of that mountain air... Watch a sunset paint the sky... Enjoy the journey Michael because I assure you the worst "what ifs" are the things we didn't do because of the fear of "what if?". Life is too short, especially at our age, to spend any more time wasting it.
Positive thoughts
Just checking in to see if you are ok? :hugs:
Not really Carnation.... We made it but I am a nervous wreck. I hurt all over my head feels heavy and I feel as though I am going to have a heart attack right now.
We started off as usual and I was nervous but the farther we got the more nervous I became and I have no idea why. At one point about 70 miles from where we are I had to use the rest room and felt so sick when we drove up I thought I was going to throw up and so I went in and used the bathroom and then after I sat in the truck quietly for a bit before going on. There was then a stretch of road I felt semi calm but still felt as though I could not breathe and I was still feeling sick .
We finally got in and I am feeling everything you can imagine. I am sick to my stomach and my heart feels like I could have a heart attack anytime and I am having trouble urinating and feel as though my head could explode and also feel as though I am choking.
I feel just miserable. Also to Daily . I haven't had any valium in months. I have been off them for quite sometime .I just stated in my post that I wish I had some . I don't know if I can even calm down tonight. I am so tired and feel so sick and we came here and drove 291 miles. Just miserable .. I hope that things get better because if they don't I am not sure I can make it.
I think this morning I was feeling sick before we left and then I was worried about how I was feeling and then all the way I was hurting in my chest and between my shoulder blades the whole way and then got terrible acid in my stomach.. Anyway for what its worth we are here and have less than 300 miles left to go. I think we will stay here another two or three days before leaving.
We are in a comfortable room and hopefully with some rest I will feel better. Thanks for checking in . Michael 2633
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Forgot to add this > The Hoover Dam . Its the border between Nevada and Arizona.
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Oh Michael, I had a feeling that you would not be feeling so good. :(
It was quite obvious to me, because of how you were feeling before you started.
It wasn't just the leg of the journey, you have really been getting anxious over this lump in the neck, worrying about the rash on your hand appearing and the fact that you are nearing your destination. Your nerves are on edge, it's caused the acid in the stomach which then gets chucked around your body and causes the pains in the chest and arms. You are pumping your blood as if you are running and causing those heavy sensations that you are feeling, feeling sick and then topping it all with relating it to a heart attack. Your Fear has taken over and keeping you captive, but it is not something that will stay with you. If you rest up and try to stop thinking that those anxiety symptoms are something more serious, then they will fade away.
I know, it's not easy, but you can control these feelings with the mind.
Remember what I said in my earlier post. IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT IT CAN NOT HARM YOU!. You'll be very nervous about the final leg of the journey and there is know need to be Michael. You are going to be with your family. You will feel safer there. :)
If you get a chance, I want you to try some muscle relaxation.
Just lie on the bed and clench all of the muscles in your body bit by bit, starting with your feet and slowly release those muscles. This will force your body in to relaxation.
Now, I don't want you to think the last leg of the journey is going to just as difficult and I don't want you to even think about it at all for the time being. Put it out of your mind for a while. Concentrate on YOU and relaxation and sleep.
With us anxiety sufferers, it can feel like we have had no rest or sleep for a week when we are at our worst. And stop telling yourself that you are going to have a heart attack. You are feeding your brain with information that is not true.
I know, easy for me to say. Yes, it is. I've been there. What you are feeling is FEAR!
Not a bad heart. Your heart is a very strong muscle and it's not like you are in your eighties, you are still young in my eyes. :)
I don't mean to sound hard Michael, but you have to take this by it's horns and shove it in to oblivion. Do what ever it takes to relax, think about other things in the present like your surroundings, the smells, the food and the sounds.
And again I will say, IT IS ANXIETY!
Everything you feel, I have had and still have from time to time.
2 years ago, I could not even leave the house!!!
Anxiety is very, very powerful. It feeds you false information, it is very real, but it won't kill you. You are worrying about everything under the sun and that is why you feel sick, have a heavy head, bad throat, pains around the body, blurry vision, thoughts of choking, dry throat, throat closing up, hot flushes, cold flushes, thinking you can not breath, heavy legs, vast exhaustion, burning throat, tingling hands and so on. IT IS ALL ANXIETY! Not anything more.
Please believe me. :hugs:
P.S. As usual the photos are absolutely stunning. :)
Also wanted to say to you that you have done amazing and I am proud of you. :hugs:
Oh Michael, I had a feeling that you would not be feeling so good. :(
It was quite obvious to me, because of how you were feeling before you started.
It wasn't just the leg of the journey, you have really been getting anxious over this lump in the neck, worrying about the rash on your hand appearing and the fact that you are nearing your destination. Your nerves are on edge, it's caused the acid in the stomach which then gets chucked around your body and causes the pains in the chest and arms. You are pumping your blood as if you are running and causing those heavy sensations that you are feeling, feeling sick and then topping it all with relating it to a heart attack. Your Fear has taken over and keeping you captive, but it is not something that will stay with you. If you rest up and try to stop thinking that those anxiety symptoms are something more serious, then they will fade away.
I know, it's not easy, but you can control these feelings with the mind.
Remember what I said in my earlier post. IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT IT CAN NOT HARM YOU!. You'll be very nervous about the final leg of the journey and there is know need to be Michael. You are going to be with your family. You will feel safer there. :)
If you get a chance, I want you to try some muscle relaxation.
Just lie on the bed and clench all of the muscles in your body bit by bit, starting with your feet and slowly release those muscles. This will force your body in to relaxation.
Now, I don't want you to think the last leg of the journey is going to just as difficult and I don't want you to even think about it at all for the time being. Put it out of your mind for a while. Concentrate on YOU and relaxation and sleep.
With us anxiety sufferers, it can feel like we have had no rest or sleep for a week when we are at our worst. And stop telling yourself that you are going to have a heart attack. You are feeding your brain with information that is not true.
I know, easy for me to say. Yes, it is. I've been there. What you are feeling is FEAR!
Not a bad heart. Your heart is a very strong muscle and it's not like you are in your eighties, you are still young in my eyes. :)
I don't mean to sound hard Michael, but you have to take this by it's horns and shove it in to oblivion. Do what ever it takes to relax, think about other things in the present like your surroundings, the smells, the food and the sounds.
And again I will say, IT IS ANXIETY!
Everything you feel, I have had and still have from time to time.
2 years ago, I could not even leave the house!!!
Anxiety is very, very powerful. It feeds you false information, it is very real, but it won't kill you. You are worrying about everything under the sun and that is why you feel sick, have a heavy head, bad throat, pains around the body, blurry vision, thoughts of choking, dry throat, throat closing up, hot flushes, cold flushes, thinking you can not breath, heavy legs, vast exhaustion, burning throat, tingling hands and so on. IT IS ALL ANXIETY! Not anything more.
Please believe me. :hugs:
P.S. As usual the photos are absolutely stunning. :)
Thank you Carnation. I think you are right about everything. I think the key to it all is to know that it is anxiety and based on individual worries. I will try the relaxation technique that you talked about and see if that helps.
I get waves of nausea and anxiousness. I think its because start thinking about all of the symptoms and what ifs . Thank you for your kind words about being proud of me. It means so very much to me.
Today we got up early and ate breakfast and did not sleep very much . By noon we had already eaten lunch and the day has been very fast and I have been doing ok but experiencing lots of symptoms and just have to keep telling myself its all anxiety .
I hope it works because its not very nice. To add to the anxiety ,we got a message from my wifes family that her mother has been hospitalized with a failing heart and failing kidney and a tumor in her stomach . She is 87 and my wife is so worried and nervous . Her mother lives in another country and neither of us are able to fly. So that is kind of nerve racking and also found out that my computer and probably all my email services and passwords for everything has been compromised and someone hijacked my computer and I have no clue what they have done.
At this point I can't worry about it just try to resolve to get back control of it and change passwords etc.. This all adds fuel to the fire so its high anxiety but I am going to try like everything to relax and try not to think anything negative and do what I can.
I am trying to focus on all the positives and hope for the best. At the moment I think I need to go take a beta blocker to maybe help calm me and maybe take a nap. All I can say is thank you so much for believing in me and being here for me. If I get through all of this then I think I can pretty much get through anything. I have read your post and reading them again and trying to think about everything you said. I just wanted you to know that even if I don't respond to everything you say it doesn't mean I am not taking it to heart and trying to do what you said and also trying to realize its nothing but anxiety . Thank you once again.
I am sorry to hear your bad news Michael.
The important thing to remember for both of you is only worry about stuff that you can do something about or is in your control.
And that would be your journey and it's end.
Then you sort out anything else when you are settled and feel more secure.
I can relate to your wife's mother situation as I have had my Mum in hospital for the last 2 months and she has been seriously ill. At times like this, you have to let the professional step in and take over. :hugs:
Computers can be a joy and a nightmare, as you well know.
If I get through all of this then I think I can pretty much get through anything.
Your words Michael, believe them. :hugs:
Michael
I'm sorry to hear about your MIL.
Devastating for you all.
Yes, do keep reading and over carnations advice as it is comprehensively excellent!
Your symptoms are anxiety related and I too have had them at different times.
They WILL disappear...eventually and are NOT life threatening. Or actually anything to worry about.
Stay strong. Because, even if YOU think you are not coping, cthis journey is proving you are or courageous fighter. Go you! X
I am sorry to hear your bad news Michael.
The important thing to remember for both of you is only worry about stuff that you can do something about or is in your control.
And that would be your journey and it's end.
Then you sort out anything else when you are settled and feel more secure.
I can relate to your wife's mother situation as I have had my Mum in hospital for the last 2 months and she has been seriously ill. At times like this, you have to let the professional step in and take over. :hugs:
Computers can be a joy and a nightmare, as you well know.
Your words Michael, believe them. :hugs:
Thank you Carnation. I laid down to take a nap and kept waking because I felt like I was choking. As it turns out my throat is red and everything I swallow feels as though its hard to swallow. My ear hurts as well. I feel sick to my stomach and now I worry I might have strep as I am prone to that and the last few times I had strep I became dehydrated and was hospitalized for tachycardia. Now I am so worried. I feel so bad today and the weather has been a little warmer than usual.
I don't really have temperature as of now but will check it later but have nausea I can't seem to shake but then again it could be hunger since we ate early today . I sure don't want to get sick here, I would have to go to the ER and don't want to do that. I hope I get to feeling better and not so bad. I am sorry about your mum and hope things get better soon.
---------- Post added at 17:03 ---------- Previous post was at 16:56 ----------
Michael
I'm sorry to hear about your MIL.
Devastating for you all.
Yes, do keep reading and over carnations advice as it is comprehensively excellent!
Your symptoms are anxiety related and I too have had them at different times.
They WILL disappear...eventually and are NOT life threatening. Or actually anything to worry about.
Stay strong. Because, even if YOU think you are not coping, cthis journey is proving you are or courageous fighter. Go you! X
Thank you Daily . I will try as hard as I can to beat this anxiety but as I was telling Carnation I really am having issues with my throat. I laid down to take a nap this afternoon and kept waking from having to swallow and clear my throat. Also I am nauseated and that is how I was feeling yesterday but it got better when we got in and rested somewhat but my throat is somewhat worse today and kind of raw feeling. My wife checked it and said it seems to be red but open. God, this would be a nightmare.
I am pronged to strep throat and every time I have had it I was hospitalized with tachycardia. I really do feel bad and wanted to sleep today but felt so bad I only slept a minute here and there. I took my temperature and really don't have any right now and hopefully won't but I guess I really did have sore throat yesterday and trouble swallowing and nausea .
Anyway thank you for posting to me and I will try as hard as I can to remember what you and Carnation has said . I hope this sore throat and stuff disappears soon. Thank you and take care..
It could be acid reflux Michael. Drink plenty of water and gargle your throat with warm salt water if you can to soothe and calm the throat. The ear will be hurting because the ear. nose and throat are all connected to each other.
Try to keep your diet delicate. I find bananas help me, but they don't agree with everyone. Stay away from fried, processed foods. fizzy drinks and acid fruits are bad. Chicken and fish is always a good bet.
I am inclined to think it may be caused by your nervous stomach.
See how it goes, but extra fluids is very important. Hope you feel better soon. :)
Carnation I hope that you are right. I kind of thought that too but when we were at the last hotel the weather turned from a comfortable temperature to a big drop and being cold . We went outside quite a bit and the wind and pollen was whipping around and seemed to be coming up inside my throat and nose. Hopefully hopefully its only acid reflux and not strep or bad throat but will try what you said. I just got a halls throat drop and it seems to help a little bit. The other day I was having issues with my throat like choking and I took antiacid and it seemed to help so I will try all the things you suggested and wish my luck. I have bananas and that seems to be one thing I can eat ok, but we have oven baked sandwiches for dinner tonight. Its called Mediterranean veggie on french bread so we have already got those so will have to eat that and I wish we had some chicken or fish but if it comes to that will get some and dump the sandwiches. We don't eat fried foods at all but I do drink a diet 7up with dinner for digestion. I don't think we have any acid fruits but I am allergic to citric so I probably wouldn't have that anyway. Will take your advice and let you know how things turn out and thank you sweetie for being here and your support.
7up is ok, my partner has that, but lemonade is better; brilliant for digestion.
If you can, try and pick up some rennies when you are out, they well help the acid.
Strangely enough, I had a bout of it myself last night. Probably because we have not been eating our normal diet this week. I had pains shooting up and down my legs and arms and horrendous wind with a bloated stomach, feeling sick, which in turn puts the anxiety up and then causes that awful brain fog and pounding heartbeat.
See, I am the same as you. I am always getting bad throats Michael.
I have just had an ulcer on my tongue, but I get red raw at the back of my throat and little red patches and I think it is all to do with the acid reflux.
We get nervous, the stomach reacts, then it just all develops from there.
If only we could just stay calm, it would prevent a lot of this.
It is very cold here, we even had sleet yesterday. The cold air doesn't sit well with me either. I also suffer with my sinuses and I can sneeze for about 40 times in one go and then nothing for the rest of the day. I get post nasal drip, which can irritate my throat.
(I sound charming, don't I?).
Anyway, Hope you are feeling better today.
Dally, nice to hear from you, hope you are ok too x
7up is ok, my partner has that, but lemonade is better; brilliant for digestion.
If you can, try and pick up some rennies when you are out, they well help the acid.
Strangely enough, I had a bout of it myself last night. Probably because we have not been eating our normal diet this week. I had pains shooting up and down my legs and arms and horrendous wind with a bloated stomach, feeling sick, which in turn puts the anxiety up and then causes that awful brain fog and pounding heartbeat.
See, I am the same as you. I am always getting bad throats Michael.
I have just had an ulcer on my tongue, but I get red raw at the back of my throat and little red patches and I think it is all to do with the acid reflux.
We get nervous, the stomach reacts, then it just all develops from there.
If only we could just stay calm, it would prevent a lot of this.
It is very cold here, we even had sleet yesterday. The cold air doesn't sit well with me either. I also suffer with my sinuses and I can sneeze for about 40 times in one go and then nothing for the rest of the day. I get post nasal drip, which can irritate my throat.
(I sound charming, don't I?).
Anyway, Hope you are feeling better today.
Dally, nice to hear from you, hope you are ok too x
Carnation I hate to say it but I think its sympathetic anxiety for me. (maybe):shrug: Hope you feel better, I am terribly sorry hun. We went to sleep last evening at 10:30 and just woke at 11:30 but woke a few times during our sleep for a minute or two and then back to sleep. I think the stress and the weather and allergies and etc...is what is causing all this and we have heard from my wife's mother is stabilizing and Its making me feel better because as close as I am to her I am not ready to loose her.
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hate anxiety and its miserable. I am here for you though and you have been so strong for me. I want you to just relax and maybe its too much for you worrying with me and trying to be ok yourself. Its very admirable and I thank you for your support and help but it might be affecting you .
I have been trying to find out what has caused me to feel the way I do and I have no clue. I have talked to my wife about it and she said that maybe I think we are stuck there and permanent but she says we are not. We are on a vacation and then will find us a place and move to where we are on our own anytime but this isn't permanent .
I think the source of the anxiety is over the last year or so our daughter has worried us to go down there over and over and we have put it off for one reason or the other ,now that we have finally committed to going there in a real way ,its a kind of a nightmare. Its being out of my safe zone where we have felt safe and away from our home. I guess.
I hate to say it but going to this state and that city permanently is terrifying for me. I don't do well in heat and that heat at my age is very scary . Also my daughter and I get along but she tends to be very drama about everything and makes things nerve racking. I need to be able to deal with that and realize that I just need to ignore her and then I think things will be better. Also moving is very hard and we just moved to Oregon three years ago ,its been a long trip. I really thought we were finally home in Oregon but we were home but stayed in and did not see other people and stayed to ourselves. I made the realization that we didn't need to be that way so when our daughter and son ask us to move there I kind of made that decision so its kind of my fault but it was so long off I didn't worry about it . When it came to be real then it made me very anxious. I have been thinking about it and will continue to try to realize what has made me feel the way I do about it.
Maybe its the loss of home and being in control in someway . Maybe I feel as though I have surrendered to fate and that I will whither and die there because I am finally committing to myself that I am old and useless and just a burden to others and will fade away soon. I have no idea what has gotten to me. I didn't even grieve for Oregon and I love that place more than anywhere I have ever lived or been . That is so not like me. I realized last night that I need to get my mind off of all that and turn my attention to other things and so I started last night. I am an artist and haven't done art in a long time so I started back last night. I did a piece I call "Herds" It kind of reminds me of the ancient cave drawings in France of the herds of animals the ancients would have depicted on their cave walls. It wasn't an intentional piece but one that just came about. I am posting it here and want you to know I am struggling today but feeling better about how to deal with all this.
I know its up to me to ignore it and just say its anxiety and to turn my attention to other things. Anyway I wanted you to have this to say thank you for being here and being my friend and for your support. You are very kind and I hope that you are feeling much better and please please please let me know how you are feeling. You are truly a gem and so appreciated. Also everyone else that has commented here and gave me support I thank you all. I will keep trying and doing what I can to deal with it all but I have sure got some wonderful help here. Take care and please let me know how you are doing .I am here for you too. Michael
Also it seems that I am blaming my daughter for being who she is but I am not. I blame myself for not being able to just relax and go with the flow. Hopefully I will be back in that mode soon and nothing will bother me. Over the years I have always or for the most part always been a "whatever" type person and things only bother me as much as I let them so its something I will have to work on. I put no blame on anyone other than me for the way I feel.
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That's a very cool painting! You're very talented. My wife is an artist as well. She paints, does custom jewelry and crafts etc. Maybe devoting some time to your craft would help. I know when I'm playing music, everything else fades to the background and it's very therapeutic.
Positive thoughts
That's a very cool painting! You're very talented. My wife is an artist as well. She paints, does custom jewelry and crafts etc. Maybe devoting some time to your craft would help. I know when I'm playing music, everything else fades to the background and it's very therapeutic.
Positive thoughts
Thanks Fishmanpa, coming from you it means a lot. I would love to see some of your wife's art if you could share it in a special post here. I love art and always have and most of the time in my life have only done it for myself and like you say its something that everything else fades away . I was thinking most of my life I have been anxious and art has been my salvation. Its been a very personal thing but about 10 years ago I was coaxed into showings in New York ,Spain , Argentina and many other countries also art fairs all over the US and Europe. I sold so many pieces and was so publicized that I did not like it.
I felt that I had done something wrong. I had committed a forbidden sin. I quickly exited the art world and became private again and now although there are many of my paintings all over the world and they have been shown and shown to so many , you would be hard pressed to find anything I have every done on the internet or anywhere. Its been a long time and artist fade from favor if they don't keep in the circuit. Now its back to being what it used to be... My saving grace..something I can get away in anyplace anytime and everything is a blank canvas for me.
Its just putting the devotion into it that I should . But it also puts the devotion into me to. Its a give and take relationship and might accidentally be the beginning of the beginning again going to Tucson where there is a big market for art but then again I have to make a decision of whether I really want that or not but regardless it will take me back to the beginning of my life where I used to get lost in art. Hopefully it will .
Just wanted to take a minute here to tell you thank you so much for being here and watching over all of us and helping so many of us to understand that everything that we are experiencing is anxiety . You comment on so many people's post and help people that no one else ever comments on and you are here for us. I do appreciate you so very much and thank you for your time and using your experience with real medical issues to help. You are very appreciated and kind. Once again thanks. Michael
I would love to see some of your wife's art if you could share it in a special post here.
Thanks Michael. I appreciate your kind words concerning my participation on the forum. Many know I came here originally due to HA sufferers posting on the cancer forum I was part of. I followed a couple of them here and decided to stick around to offer a perspective from a survivor/non sufferer point of view. It's turned out to be a "pay-it-forward kind of thing and I'm pleased that some of my words have been beneficial. Having a daughter that suffers from depression and anxiety, the site has proved helpful to me in helping her deal with her illness :)
Concerning my wife? Marcia (my Chiquita from Ecuador) is a very beautiful and talented artist. She paints, does unique and beautiful jewelry and crafts.
Here's some of her work...
Painting on a saw blade
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/200122_1016191369418_4933_n.jpg?oh=7c0a8db9b2c261b d8fa52f446a42bbdd&oe=57A9168C
Another saw blade
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/206174_1016190889406_2037_n.jpg?oh=c8a085b90caaf37 d778e1439662d48c5&oe=57AE9664
Jewely...
https://img0.etsystatic.com/119/0/6687154/il_570xN.959528916_g5r0.jpg
She has an Etsy store. If anyone is interested, PM me and I'll send the link.
Positive thoughts
I agree.
Fishmanpa dedicates many hours to posting and helping others giving good and sensible advise and I would like to say that he is appreciated too. x
Michael, the painting is very good and my partner has fallen in love with it.
I think it is superb and you should definitely continue as you have been given a talent to use. :)
I understand what you mean about to much exposure for the media and performing to order. My partner is a professional musician and he has stepped away from becoming a recognised face and as he says, not wanting to become a performing monkey.
He has performed with some of the greatest musicians and unfortunately since becoming a carer has stopped playing.
I used to have many hobbies/crafts and due to the pressures of life have also stopped doing the things I love. I don't know why we stop doing the things we love, but it should not be that way.
Michael, I think we always worry whether we are making the right decision. We have paths to choose and we have to take one of them. your decision to move has not been made lightly and the fact that you are now doing it makes me realise that you were sure it was the right move before you set off. Obviously doubts will arise, it is only natural and if there are any negatives, then they can be overcome.
Anyway, there is no point in being in a place that you like, but only seeing the four walls that surround you. You might as well be anywhere.
I think you have to keep optimistic about the future. You made the decision to go and as I am a believer in fate, there must be a reason for this move. :)
You come across as a person who had great sensitivity and that is probably the reason you have fallen in to the grips of anxiety. But you can control anxiety and cope with it. It doesn't have to mean being disabled for the rest of your life.
Your main objective is fear and it seem to run through many areas of your life.
So you need to feel your life with things that don't frighten you. Your art for instance.
You need grounding when you have anxiety and that is putting all the senses in to use. When we sit and lie around in pain, the mind has nothing else to focus on but we feed it and that is mostly worry. So, if you can introduce some pleasures back in to your life, your anxiety will sit in the background rather than take over your life! :hugs:
I replied to your PM. I am fine, honestly and I have enjoyed being there with you through your journey and helping others does not make me feel any worse, quite the opposite.
I am quite excited for you and your new life and a better one. :hugs:
Thanks Michael. I appreciate your kind words concerning my participation on the forum. Many know I came here originally due to HA sufferers posting on the cancer forum I was part of. I followed a couple of them here and decided to stick around to offer a perspective from a survivor/non sufferer point of view. It's turned out to be a "pay-it-forward kind of thing and I'm pleased that some of my words have been beneficial. Having a daughter that suffers from depression and anxiety, the site has proved helpful to me in helping her deal with her illness :)
Concerning my wife? Marcia (my Chiquita from Ecuador) is a very beautiful and talented artist. She paints, does unique and beautiful jewelry and crafts.
Here's some of her work...
Painting on a saw blade
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/200122_1016191369418_4933_n.jpg?oh=7c0a8db9b2c261b d8fa52f446a42bbdd&oe=57A9168C
Another saw blade
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/206174_1016190889406_2037_n.jpg?oh=c8a085b90caaf37 d778e1439662d48c5&oe=57AE9664
Jewely...
https://img0.etsystatic.com/119/0/6687154/il_570xN.959528916_g5r0.jpg
She has an Etsy store. If anyone is interested, PM me and I'll send the link.
Positive thoughts
Thanks for sharing that Fishmanpa. My wife and I both love her work. My wife says that she will keep the link and we will be Christmas shopping and gift shopping there at your wife's shop on Etsy. Also thanks so much for sharing your story of how you came to be here and everything. Once again I appreciate you. Tell your wife her art is wonderful for us.
---------- Post added at 17:06 ---------- Previous post was at 16:47 ----------
I agree.
Fishmanpa dedicates many hours to posting and helping others giving good and sensible advise and I would like to say that he is appreciated too. x
Michael, the painting is very good and my partner has fallen in love with it.
I think it is superb and you should definitely continue as you have been given a talent to use. :)
I understand what you mean about to much exposure for the media and performing to order. My partner is a professional musician and he has stepped away from becoming a recognised face and as he says, not wanting to become a performing monkey.
He has performed with some of the greatest musicians and unfortunately since becoming a carer has stopped playing.
I used to have many hobbies/crafts and due to the pressures of life have also stopped doing the things I love. I don't know why we stop doing the things we love, but it should not be that way.
Michael, I think we always worry whether we are making the right decision. We have paths to choose and we have to take one of them. your decision to move has not been made lightly and the fact that you are now doing it makes me realise that you were sure it was the right move before you set off. Obviously doubts will arise, it is only natural and if there are any negatives, then they can be overcome.
Anyway, there is no point in being in a place that you like, but only seeing the four walls that surround you. You might as well be anywhere.
I think you have to keep optimistic about the future. You made the decision to go and as I am a believer in fate, there must be a reason for this move. :)
You come across as a person who had great sensitivity and that is probably the reason you have fallen in to the grips of anxiety. But you can control anxiety and cope with it. It doesn't have to mean being disabled for the rest of your life.
Your main objective is fear and it seem to run through many areas of your life.
So you need to feel your life with things that don't frighten you. Your art for instance.
You need grounding when you have anxiety and that is putting all the senses in to use. When we sit and lie around in pain, the mind has nothing else to focus on but we feed it and that is mostly worry. So, if you can introduce some pleasures back in to your life, your anxiety will sit in the background rather than take over your life! :hugs:
I replied to your PM. I am fine, honestly and I have enjoyed being there with you through your journey and helping others does not make me feel any worse, quite the opposite.
I am quite excited for you and your new life and a better one. :hugs:
Thank you Carnation I am delighted that you and your partner like the work.. I am going to continue to do art for therapy as it has seen me through most of my life especially at times of high anxiety and perhaps even depression and times of just being able to get away in my mind and listen to music while doing it.
In my travels I have met several musicians that much like myself suffer anxiety ,seems to be a thing with creative types. It also gave me courage that I would meet such people along the way of my trek in hotels where I stayed. I guess its taking a person like me to meet and know others.
It happens to many artist and muscians ,poets etc.. creative=anxiety it seems . It is so nice to know that your partner is a musician ..You are so right about the things you post here about the decision to move etc.
I guess I have always been too sensitive for my own good. This is one of the biggest reasons my mother in law and I get along. We are exactly the same. She is very intelligent and creative and sensitive. I haven't been able to spend as much time with her as I want but when we have even on the phone she has been one of the best things in my life. She is very very special to me and knowing that something might befall her even though it will at some point isn't easy. Also I never got to spend that much time with my father in law but I loved him and miss him so much. He died several years ago and it was crushing for my wife and I.
Anyway I am glad that you will be ok. I was very concerned about you and hope that one day too you will get back into doing whatever made you happy and I wanted you to know how special you are for being here and like Fishmanpa and others watching over us and caring . I hope it comes back to you a million percent. I think that you have really been observant and know so much about what is going on with me since you too have experienced so much of this as well .
Also wanted to tell your partner thanks for the compliment and for you being able to be online here with me all this time. Thank you again and hope you both have a wonderful evening. :bighug1:
Carnation , I think I found the culprit for some of my symptoms. Its so accurate its scary. I have always drank about 3 large cups of coffee everyday and sometimes more. This would be equivalent to about 9 regular cups of coffee.
Lately I have cut down to maybe three cups a day . Regular cups which are small compared to a more larger cup. That is a huge difference. I did this to see if I had less stomach problems and maybe nervousness. I find not according to this article that the reduction of caffeine can actually cause anxiety but also found numerous symptoms that I have been complaining about and feeling.
What made me decide it MIGHT be caffeine is that I am not withdrawing from any other substance as I have not used any type of anxiety med in months. I use only beta blockers and really not that much so it must be caffeine. Anyway wanted to post this here as it MIGHT be a culprit for others that have quit caffeine especially if they drank it like I did . I am not saying that is it but its a possibility .
Here is the link below.
http://www.caffeineinformer.com/caffeine-withdrawal-symptoms-top-ten
---------- Post added at 10:23 ---------- Previous post was at 10:01 ----------
On another note. We are getting ready to leave out tomorrow and I am nervous but trying everything I can think of not to think about it. We talked to our daughter last evening and she is getting together a special dinner for tomorrow night. After we talked to her last night I had a throat tightness that I thought was going to choke me to death. I really got scared and worried that I might have to go to the hospital .
I just don't know what is happening to my throat. I have heard about others getting this and this time is the first time I really have had to experience it. Its miserable and scary .
I have been trying to reason with myself that everything will be ok. Also have been trying to think that everything will be great being there with our daughter and son in law and grandchildren. I have a grandchild that has a hole in her heart and other medical problems and much like me worries about her heart speeding up and also has anxiety because of it and she has a reason to have anxiety. My daughter is placing a responsibility on me to try to tell her that I am 61 and that I have surived with fast heartbeat all my life ,but its not the same because she actually does have real medical problems. I just hope I don't let her down as she will be depending on me to help her through her struggle with her anxiety but like I said she really has medical problems so hope there is some way I can but then again it might end up making me more anxious and hope that isn't the issue.Anyway my mind wants to just go blank and I feel ok right now ,just a little neck issues but last evening and the night before I felt so bad laying here before going to sleep I really thought I was going to die.
I just accepted that I could and just let my muscles relax and I slept all night ,night before last and last night but both nights I felt as though someone had dropped me off a building and every bone and muscle in my body ached and hurt.
If I had to guess I would think that maybe all the tension I have experienced over the last few months has kept me so tense that I am now just relaxing maybe and that is why I am in so much pain. I have been taking ibprofens about two or three a day which messes up my stomach and I think also raises my blood pressure as well because it does say under side effects that it can raise your blood pressure but my doctor told me I could take it.
It seems to help sometimes and makes me sleepy sometimes. Also I have had a weird feeling about my mind. It seems that my mind is a lost for things to think about and I feel as though I don't fill it with distractions I might go off the deep end so I keep trying to think about everything and anything that has nothing to do with anxiety and sometimes that feeling subsides but sometimes feels very hard. I worry about being able to talk to my wife when we are living with our daughter during that time and I am used to having a place where I am not bothered and made nervous and am able to ask my wife if I am sick or nervous. I worry that I won't be able to do that there.. I have so many worries and hope they all fade and for right now trying not to think about anything about tomorrow and hope that I will be a little relaxed when I go and not like the other day.
I have nothing to calm me as far as medicines other than beta blocker and worry that might not be enough. Anyway I hope your day is gong well so far and that you are feeling better.
---------- Post added at 12:10 ---------- Previous post was at 10:23 ----------
I know I have probably ask before if you have been checked out thoroughly about a year ago and given the ok.. would there be a chance of anything developing over that time? I was given the all clear on heart , and told that other than a little pre diabetis and high blood pressure I was in pretty good shape and healthy but it has been eight months since I have seen a doctor and know that is my fault but now I am on the road and the only doctor I could see is ER and I sure don't want to do that.
A few years ago I was hospitalized and they did full body ct scan and also checked arteries and did so many test where they took my blood down to its basic components and then a year ago they hospitalized me with tachycardia from dehydration and did ekg's also ecg's and chest xray and blood test. They could not find anything except that I was dehydrated and that my white count was very high but it went down on its own while I was in the hospital .They did find that I was pre diabetic and not that bad but I have been eating right and my blood sugar has good.
I lost weight and eat right but this trip has sure worn me out. I was trying to rest this morning and my heart felt as though it was beating its last beats. I felt so tired and really have had a good nights sleep and I don't know why I am feeling like this.
I am wondering that if you have been cleared of any heart issues or anything else eight months ago what are the chances that you would have something come up in that time?
When I am feeling like this my wife says she isn't going to worry because the doctor said that my heart was healthy and that I should not worry. Today I have felt ok but when I tried to just relax and not think about anything my heart feels like its just going to stop any minute. I realize this is probably all anxiety but wonder what others think about it being so long since I have seen a doctor.
Just worried that's all. I know anything is possible but then also wonder if the odds are against me having a heart issue. Wonder if all the stress lately and nervousness can cause damage in the heart or body and cause you to have a heart attack.
I guess I am just tired and feeling bad. I just want this all to stop and be over.
Michael, you are just like me. You even worry about worrying!!!!
You can reassure your Daughter. I too have a whole in the heart.
It was discovered when I had a mini stroke 11 years ago.
And that was nothing to do with it.
It was from working 18 hour days 7 days a week.
It is more common than you realise.
Jessie J has it too and jumps around all over the place.
I have even run a Marathon. :D
It was two years ago that I had a full check for nasties to put my mind at a rest and if I am honest it is something I think about a lot; whether I am still ok?
I'd like to go and get checked, but fear is not allowing me to do that.
But, I think if you have a healthy, strong heart, then that will not change.
What we do have Michael, is Health Anxiety and it wouldn't matter if it was last month or last week, we would still worry if circumstances had changed.
I found the best tonic was to throw myself in to doing things and trying to get as much as I could out of life.
I don't think that you can accept that you are healthy. You question and expect something bad to happen. You worry you do too much and you worry you do too little.
So, I think now that I am strong and determined and healthy, so that my Mind can shut up and when I feel brave enough, I will have another check up.
I've had the throat thing Michael. It is anxiety. I have spoken to many members who have experienced this when their anxiety is high.
So, you are on your final leg of your journey. :)
Special meal? That will be a good thought when your are driving.
I always find the last bit the hardest, but at the same time, the quickest.
You'll be feeling a lot of emotions running through you, but they should be positive.
The end of your long drive. Arriving at your destination. Seeing your family. New start, special meal. You can then gather your thoughts, get a feel for the place and explore in your own time with no pressure.
You have done amazingly well Michael. You have managed to find your inner strength to get through some very difficult times and you succeeded, battled on and you should be very proud of yourself.
So, keep thinking positive and let us know when you are there. :):hugs:
---------- Post added at 23:13 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------
The 'Coffee' is an interesting one; I will look in to that. :)
Michael, you are just like me. You even worry about worrying!!!!
You can reassure your Daughter. I too have a whole in the heart.
It was discovered when I had a mini stroke 11 years ago.
And that was nothing to do with it.
It was from working 18 hour days 7 days a week.
It is more common than you realise.
Jessie J has it too and jumps around all over the place.
I have even run a Marathon. :D
It was two years ago that I had a full check for nasties to put my mind at a rest and if I am honest it is something I think about a lot; whether I am still ok?
I'd like to go and get checked, but fear is not allowing me to do that.
But, I think if you have a healthy, strong heart, then that will not change.
What we do have Michael, is Health Anxiety and it wouldn't matter if it was last month or last week, we would still worry if circumstances had changed.
I found the best tonic was to throw myself in to doing things and trying to get as much as I could out of life.
I don't think that you can accept that you are healthy. You question and expect something bad to happen. You worry you do too much and you worry you do too little.
So, I think now that I am strong and determined and healthy, so that my Mind can shut up and when I feel brave enough, I will have another check up.
I've had the throat thing Michael. It is anxiety. I have spoken to many members who have experienced this when their anxiety is high.
So, you are on your final leg of your journey. :)
Special meal? That will be a good thought when your are driving.
I always find the last bit the hardest, but at the same time, the quickest.
You'll be feeling a lot of emotions running through you, but they should be positive.
The end of your long drive. Arriving at your destination. Seeing your family. New start, special meal. You can then gather your thoughts, get a feel for the place and explore in your own time with no pressure.
You have done amazingly well Michael. You have managed to find your inner strength to get through some very difficult times and you succeeded, battled on and you should be very proud of yourself.
So, keep thinking positive and let us know when you are there. :):hugs:
---------- Post added at 23:13 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------
The 'Coffee' is an interesting one; I will look in to that. :)
Yeah I think my wife is about to give up on me too. All I can do is say I will try harder. I am sorry that I haven't gotten better and feel like I have let you and her and others down. :-( Anyway thank you for responding and I will keep you posted as things progress. Thanks again for being here for me.
---------- Post added at 17:04 ---------- Previous post was at 16:33 ----------
On the choking.. mine comes on usually in the afternoons . It happens about an hour after eating. It seems to be mechanical in nature like something is wrong in the throat and not working properly. Also the back of my neck where my throat would be hurts really bad and feels as though there is a band around my neck. It does this standing up sitting down or anyway I move. It feels as though something is closing my throat up and also hard to swallow although I do manage to swallow it hurts .It isn't constant like other people here but happens at random times. It will usually go away with laying down and staying very still , but last night it lasted through the night and stayed almost until the morning and is happening again right now. I ate about an hour ago and not sure that caused it or not but I worry something is wrong. I haven't had this symptom before accept very rarely and seems to happen whether I am feeling anxious or not. It hasn't really happened on the road except one time when I ate a piece of bread when I was starving. I don't usually eat on the road. Does this all sound familiar or ? I have never in all the time I have had anxiety had this .Its new to me and very scary . My voice also cracks when this happens like I am very hoarse and also my neck hurts really bad around it,, like someone broke it. I was thinking it might be something to do with tmj but I have no idea.. It scares me really bad when it happens.
On the choking.. mine comes on usually in the afternoons . It happens about an hour after eating. It seems to be mechanical in nature like something is wrong in the throat and not working properly. Also the back of my neck where my throat would be hurts really bad and feels as though there is a band around my neck. It does this standing up sitting down or anyway I move. It feels as though something is closing my throat up and also hard to swallow although I do manage to swallow it hurts .It isn't constant like other people here but happens at random times. It will usually go away with laying down and staying very still , but last night it lasted through the night and stayed almost until the morning and is happening again right now. I ate about an hour ago and not sure that caused it or not but I worry something is wrong. I haven't had this symptom before accept very rarely and seems to happen whether I am feeling anxious or not. It hasn't really happened on the road except one time when I ate a piece of bread when I was starving. I don't usually eat on the road. Does this all sound familiar or ? I have never in all the time I have had anxiety had this .Its new to me and very scary . My voice also cracks when this happens like I am very hoarse and also my neck hurts really bad around it,, like someone broke it. I was thinking it might be something to do with tmj but I have no idea.. It scares me really bad when it happens.
Sounds familiar (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms#Throat_tighteningChokingSwallowing_proble ms)
I'm not telling you anything you don't already know deep down. Advice? Wean off the coffee, work on some CBT techniques to help rationalize your reaction to your anxiety symptoms and speak to your GP about meds other than the beat blockers.
I have prescription for Buspar. No start up or wean off issues and I've found it to be a quite effective chill pill. It really helped me with my "scanxiety".
Positive thoughts
Sounds familiar (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms#Throat_tighteningChokingSwallowing_proble ms)
I'm not telling you anything you don't already know deep down. Advice? Wean off the coffee, work on some CBT techniques to help rationalize your reaction to your anxiety symptoms and speak to your GP about meds other than the beat blockers.
I have prescription for Buspar. No start up or wean off issues and I've found it to be a quite effective chill pill. It really helped me with my "scanxiety".
Positive thoughts
Yeah I know....but the throat thing , I have never had before. I just thought that I would ask because its new and seems to be something other than anxiety but then I guess it could be and probably acid reflux because of the stress and tension. Right now I am so down and just sad. I hate myself for being afraid . If it was up to me I would take something to turn fear off forever. I wish I had been a junkie and then I would never have to worry about fear. Just get high and forget everything.
I don't have a GP right now. I won't have one until we get medicaid started again. The only way that I can get a doctor to give me any kind of meds is to go to the ER and tell them that I am away from my doctor and need some medicines. I am not looking forward to that and have to do that when we get there at some point because it will be awhile before I have a doctor. Also I am on the road so don't think that CBT is going to work until I get established again. You see its kind of a bad time for GP and CBT.
Also I had a prescription of Valium because the doctor had decided that I have GAD . I haven't been to the doctor in eight months because it makes me nervous. Thank goodness he still gave me blood pressure meds and also blood sugar meds but he isn't even doing that anymore and he would not prescribe any Valium until I came to see him... thus that is why I don't have any Valium .
So you see why I am kind of roughing it right now. If I had Valium I would just pop some and forget everything but I don't have them and frankly I hate drugs and having to use any of them . I hate being tettered to doctors. I would rather almost die than have to deal with that but guess I don't really have a choice anymore. So you see my dilemma its all a mess.
I know you are trying to help but thought I would explain.. and always nice to know you are there and around and yes yes yes I have anxiety. But I can't do anything about it right now accept try to rationalize. Its not fun but you know that too.. So that is where I am . Anyway thank you again for posting to me.
And by the way .. I forgot..If you notice. That maybe one of the reason I am having so much anxiety .Check out the article that I put the link here. You have no idea how much coffee that I have drank in the past. I had even cut back at home already to three large cups. Now I am having three tiny cups.. which if you knew me you would know that is unheard of. I have been drinking lots of coffee since I was seven years old and all my life. I have really tapered off very quickly of what I have been used to . So that is another issue.. It could very well be caffeine withdrawal. Anyway wanted you to know.
I know all about caffeine withdraw. I've been a 16oz+ coffee drinker since my teens. It's how I started my day. I was one of those "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" morning people.
When I started treatment, I couldn't bear drinking coffee within the first two weeks. I went through coffee withdraw so I know but it was Ok after about two weeks.
Ahhh yes.... Valium. The "make it all better" med. Had that too. It really helped during treatment. The radiation treatments were something out of mid-evil torture! Imagine having a fiberglass mask made of your face. They strap you down to a table, place the mask down over your head and neck, snap it down and put you into a tube with whirling machinery sending radiation beams into your neck. Fun stuff let me tell you. The Valium made it tolerable. It was like Yeah this sucks but F`it ~lol~ Problem is, it's addictive. Personally, medical weed was way better.
Look... moving, traveling, change of life and lifestyle are stressful regardless of anxiety. That, and all the other realities of life and growing older are stressful too. You're on the home stretch. Soon enough you'll settle in and things will improve. Once you do, consider therapy and additional meds if needed.
Positive thoughts
Finished arrived . 1613 miles or 2600 kilometers .Thank you and goodnight.
:yesyes: Fantastic Michael x:yahoo:
Hi Michael,
I'm just catching up with ur blog.
You made it!!!
You are amazing. I totally understood every single symptom, worry and thought. But despite these, you soldered on. Please recognise how well you've done.
I hope you have, a relaxed and happy first evening with your family. I'm sure they will be able to help you get to a doctor's for meds etc soon. Well done xx
Carnation... Thank you. I'm doing OK. Actually I'm surprising myself and my family. I've only had a couple of panick attacks since my husband left which were made worse because he was my 'safe person'
Whom I turned to in that moment of fear and despair.
But
As usual, I was fine and will be every time. X
:yesyes: Fantastic Michael x:yahoo:
Thanks
---------- Post added at 16:50 ---------- Previous post was at 16:47 ----------
Hi Michael,
I'm just catching up with ur blog.
You made it!!!
You are amazing. I totally understood every single symptom, worry and thought. But despite these, you soldered on. Please recognise how well you've done.
I hope you have, a relaxed and happy first evening with your family. I'm sure they will be able to help you get to a doctor's for meds etc soon. Well done xx
Carnation... Thank you. I'm doing OK. Actually I'm surprising myself and my family. I've only had a couple of panick attacks since my husband left which were made worse because he was my 'safe person'
Whom I turned to in that moment of fear and despair.
But
As usual, I was fine and will be every time. X
Daily , thank you , you are very kind. Relaxing with family now. Its over ,its over its over.. Thank God Its over but I am never going to let myself get stuck inside again or not drive. I learned my lesson. Feeling very tired and worn out but I think that time will help everything. Thanks to you and everyone for everything. Your attention and support really helped. :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
I am so pleased for you Michael. It will take time for you to settle in and get over your journey. I hope you have a feeling of safety now and not feeling alone anymore.
Io know that your life will change for the better and if ever you feel the need to chat, you know where we are. It has been a pleasure supporting you. :) :hugs:
I am so pleased for you Michael. It will take time for you to settle in and get over your journey. I hope you have a feeling of safety now and not feeling alone anymore.
Io know that your life will change for the better and if ever you feel the need to chat, you know where we are. It has been a pleasure supporting you. :) :hugs:
Thank you Carnation for everything from the bottom of my heart! may all things good come your way for your kindness to me.:bighug1:
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