ophelia
28-09-04, 16:57
Today is a very bad day....sometimes I feel like no one truly understands. I started college two weeks ago and just cant face it today...just sitting on the classroom enviroment, then having to get 2 buses back home...the whole scene plays like an endless tape in my head...over and over never stopping, the thing is I fear I wont get home
OCD has been part of my life for over 30 years yet kept mainly hidden so all my family really say is I am weird
This is me:
hand washing, I see and feel germs, on bad day I see germs everywhere
I am obsessed with bleach
I pick skin
I also have Body dismorphic thing, once I scrubbed my whole face with a pumice stone to remove the sheer inner ugliness...I also have eating disorders
I talk inside my head over and over again, the same sentence or senario
I have the number thing..specially with ornaments, always odd numbers starting with the middle ornament working out with one either side...each one being precise, i cant settle if anyone moves anything
I cant stand anything touching my neck not even the duvet and any chink of light coming through the curtains makes me very anxious
I cant put a spoon fully in my mouth cos I think i will choke
On really bad days I cant even go in my own garden and hang the washing out for fear of being seen
there are so many it just wears me out
all i really want is for someone to say hey I totally understand and relate, but in 43 years no one ever has
sorry for going on but today is not a good day
when does an obsession become a compulsive disorder
OCD has been part of my life for over 30 years yet kept mainly hidden so all my family really say is I am weird
This is me:
hand washing, I see and feel germs, on bad day I see germs everywhere
I am obsessed with bleach
I pick skin
I also have Body dismorphic thing, once I scrubbed my whole face with a pumice stone to remove the sheer inner ugliness...I also have eating disorders
I talk inside my head over and over again, the same sentence or senario
I have the number thing..specially with ornaments, always odd numbers starting with the middle ornament working out with one either side...each one being precise, i cant settle if anyone moves anything
I cant stand anything touching my neck not even the duvet and any chink of light coming through the curtains makes me very anxious
I cant put a spoon fully in my mouth cos I think i will choke
On really bad days I cant even go in my own garden and hang the washing out for fear of being seen
there are so many it just wears me out
all i really want is for someone to say hey I totally understand and relate, but in 43 years no one ever has
sorry for going on but today is not a good day
when does an obsession become a compulsive disorder