Please help, so scared.

[lostbridget]

My anxiety has been absolutely horrendous lately but my incredible boyfriend has been helping me through as much as he can. He's my absolute rock but he's leaving tonight to go to America for two weeks and I'm absolutely terrified and heartbroken.
I'll be staying with my mum but she's incredibly volatile and one of the main reasons that I am the way I am. She's taken out credit in my name so every time I'm home I get tonnes of letters about payments that she's missed but there's nothing I can do about it unless I go to the police and charge her with fraud which I will never bring myself to do.
My boyfriend is my safety, one cuddle with him and everything's okay but I'm utterly petrified of being away from him. I'm even panicking about something happening to him when he's out there or during the flight and him not coming back. He's incredibly understanding but obviously he's very excited because he's got an amazing two weeks planned but it's really difficult to think that those two weeks are going to be absolute hell for me.
My best friend is wonderful but incredibly scatty so she often forgets to reply to texts etc so I feel incredibly alone when I'm back at my mum's.
I'm so so so scared and I don't know what to do or how I'm going to cope.

[bfkrbv]

I get lime this. But I can't be alone at all. It may seem annoying, but just stay in contact with him as much as you can. Take up a hobby to keep your mind off things. Two weeks will fly by xx

[Chocolateface]

Hi

Try to keep occupied for two weeks, take up running or walking to give yourself something to do or get an adult colouring book or my fave bake cakes and biscuits.

As for your mom with the credit you need to get expert advice on this, what she has done is wrong and I can understand you not wanting to tell on her but any repercussions can come back to you. I don't mean to scare you or make you feel worse but the sooner you address this the easier it will be

[Holds1325]

Hi,

Perhaps you can use this time as an exercise for when hes away? There could be other trips in the future and it could be possible that he might be gone longer depending on factors.

In any matter I was a mess without support. Stick close to the board here and post everyday, keep distracted, get into a hobby perhaps try ur hand at a new fun sport like cycling or tennis? Anything to keep that anxiety to a whisper is best.

Good luck

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi there
Sorry to hear your anxiety is so bad at the moment. I know it must be hard that your boyfriend is going away for a couple of weeks, but it will go so quickly!. When we're anxious we tend to overthink things, and blow situations out of proportion. Try not to focus too much on your negative thoughts, alot of the time it's our negative thinking that's causes us to be anxious or panic. Try to tell yourself positive things, like, "my boyfriend has gone on a wonderful trip, it will be so good to hear all about it when he gets back". I think that sometimes it's a good thing to try and learn to cope alone for a short while. You can do this, i know you can!!. As for your mother, she really needs to stop!!. It's not fair on you, and it's obsviously very stressful. I would try and get your name removed from the electoroll for that address. Then i don't think she could take out more credit in your name. Stay positive, and try to do something you enjoy to keep occupied. Hope it goes well. I"m sure it will x

[lostbridget]

Thank you all so much. I just feel so lost and scared. I want it to be over.

[23fish]

Tell us about your day, Bridget. What have you been up to? Remember you are one day closer to your boyfriend being home. You can do it!

[lostbridget]

Thank you all for being so kind. I've been having a really rough time, I haven't even been able to eat since Sunday. I'm staying at my friend's instead of my Mum's which is really kind of her but I'm still a complete bag of nerves and cry at the drop of a hat. I even fracked his entire flight yesterday just to make sure that he was safe!
I went into town with everyone earlier but was so exhausted that I had to have a nap as soon as I got back. I just feel really lost.

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi Bridget
I'ts lovely that you are able to stay with your friend instead of at your mom's, we all need friend's like that!. It's also good to hear that you've been out with your friend's to town, it will help to take your mind off things, even if it's for just a short while. It will get easier to cope with as the days go by, and just think every day that passes is a day closer to when your boyfriend gets home.

As for not eating much, just try and eat small amounts often. Say every 2-3 hours. You will be absolutely fine, and there is always somebody to talk to on here. x

[lostbridget]

I'm finding that I can't really eat anything. Just the smell of food makes me feel sick! It doesn't help that my sleeping tablets make everything taste metallic too.

[Holds1325]

I used to get like that in my newlywed phase with my wife. She'd go on a business trip and I'd panic, almost cry because I felt scared something would happen that would end our relationship.

Tell me, is there anything in particular you're afraid of the most? Something happening to him? Him leaving you and not coming back? Which of these fears would you point out that bothers you the most?

[lostbridget]

I'm terrified of something happening to him out there or on the plane ride back and me never seeing him again. I'm tearing up just writing it!

[Holds1325]

Instead of thinking about that, think about the most 99.9% outcome that will happen, his eventual return. He will return no doubt but don't dwell on things that most likely will never happen.

Once my wife would get back, my panic, anxiety vanished and I was completely fine. It does get better eventually but instead try to contact him as much as you can and do something for yourself. What is it that you really like to do? Well now you have the freedom to just go and do it when otherwise you'd be spending valuable time with him.

It'll be okay and this will end before you know it but its nice to have a few things to do while hes away, maybe plan something fun for yourself.

[lostbridget]

Thank you for your reply. I can't really do anything. I'm on ESA so money's tight and I don't have anything to do really. I have no energy because I can't eat at all and I'm completely lost without him.

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi Bridget

I know it's difficult when you don't have any appetite. Try something that you love to eat, even if it's just a chocolate bar or something for now. Your appetite will get better if you try to eat little and often. Even just a few mouthful's to begin with. X

[lostbridget]

I just feel like I'm completely shutting down and I keep getting these moments of truly overwhelming panic where I can't even catch my breath. I'm so scared.

[lostbridget]

I thought I was getting a bit better but this evening has been absolutely awful. I'm shaking constantly and am on the verge of tears 24/7. I just want to feel normal :( My boyfriend's having an amazing time which I'm really happy about but I barely hear from him which doesn't help. We were supposed to have a date night the night before he left too which he completely forgot about so I can't help but feel a bit put out. I want him to have a fantastic time but I feel completely forgotten and worthless at the same time. I want just a tiny amount of his happiness because this is unbearable.