Going crazy with worry!!

[jc27x]

I can't get over this lymphoma fear. It's ALL i think about!!
I keep getting a very slight pulling feeling in areas I know lymph nodes are, groin, armpit, jaw, backs off knees. There are no swellings apart from the small one in my neck that I think was caused by an infected pimple on the back of my ear.
I also have stomach bloating that comes on about half an hour to an hour after I wake up. Its not painful but slightly uncomfortable. This is leading me to think my spleen is enlarged or I have ascites? eating and going the bathroom doesnt affect it. i have been taking omeprazole for 4 days and no improvement.
I am worried sick. I woke up early the past few mornings sweatier than usual.
I dont have decreased appetite, i havent lost any weight, im not fatigued.
BUT im still convinced i have it. if not lymphoma then another cancer.
why else would i feel like this for so long??
I can't cope anymore, i feel the lowest i have for years.
I havnet suffered with depression for about 5 years but i can feel it creeping back.

[Worried1234]

Hey JC,

Let's tackle this one step at a time. Firstly your symptoms.

The bloating - did you try drinking more water in case you're dehydrated? I'm guessing if it was your spleen or anything it wouldn't disappear whilst you're asleep so don't worry about that!

The sweating - I assume this is not the drenching night sweats of lymphoma, so maybe turn your central heating down a degree or use a thinner duvet

The nodes - the only swollen one you have explained yourself, the 'pulling' is probably just because you're thinking about it

I'm not a doctor but I'd stake my house on you being 100% fine - if you had cancer, any cancer, you'd be getting more symptoms and they'd get worse probably fairly quickly.

Have you seen anyone for your anxiety? You don't want to be 90 years old and realise you spent the last 50 odd years convinced you're dying, it's such a waste of your life - I know it's easier said than done but I think you need to try and meet this head-on and beat it into submission

Is there anyone you can talk to about your feelings?

Xx

[jc27x]

Hi worried, thanks for replying again. I feel like such a pain constantly posting but I just dont know what else to do!
I have increased my water, I've been taking omeprazole, and watching what i eat.
this is why i worry, because im actually trying to get better but it just doesnt seem to be working.
No, youre right the sweating isnt drenching unless im a sleep when it gets bad?

I see my dr for anxiety and im on med but obviously theyre not working :(
Im trying so hard not to be anxious about it but it just doesnt happen.
I dont have anyone I can talk to to be honest, i dont want to worry my family and i dont have any friends, sad i know but thats just how it is :/

thank you again for always replying, and im sorry if i post too much xx

[Worried1234]

No need to apologise for posting, it's what this forum is for :D

I think bloating is just a common problem for us ladies unfortunately, it could be hormonal or diet related

Maybe try and take it in baby steps...can you find something to distract you for just 15 mins or so and see if you can go that long without thinking about your symptoms? I always find a good comedy helps...watched Impractical Jokers last time I got the fear and spent 20 mins laughing instead!

Always here to chat if you feel down

Xx

[jc27x]

I know haha I just feel like I post too much but I'm just very very anxious at the min :(
I have suffered with bloating before but its always passed in a few days.
I just always find another thing that says 'OMG YES YOU MUST HAVE IT BECAUSE....'
I then think things like, well maybe im not loosing weight because my meds make me hungry, and maybe im sleeping through the sweats. my minds in overdrive and it wont stop!!

xx

[Worried1234]

Every time you think 'oh my god I'm dying because...' Stop and say out loud 'I am completely fine, there is nothing wrong with me', you need to drown out the little voice in your head that's lying to you and making you think the absolute worst of everything

Do you play any sport? I sometimes find that if you use your body it really makes you aware of how powerful it is and also makes you feel healthy and releases endorphins

[jc27x]

I'll try that, thank you!!
Ive been trying to keep busy but theres not a lot i can do at home & I dont really want to go out alone.
I dont play sport but I could try a workout dvd or something.

I just struggle so much because i dont really have much of a support network and i keep pretty much everything in!

xx

[Worried1234]

Maybe you should talk to your family, I'm sure they'd be only too happy to give you the support you need

Xx

[jc27x]

My dad is at work all the time and my mums not too well herself so I couldnt burden them with all my worries and concerns.
Im also the eldest of 5 so its hard to talk to my brother and sisters.
Ive got this far on my own so im sure i can do this as well xx

[Fishmanpa]

why else would i feel like this for so long??

It's called anxiety/HA and the physical ramifications of being under stress. Four days of a PPI is not enough time to allow it to take effect properly. It can take a couple of weeks or more. There is nothing else that remotely points to a blood born cancer at all!

My wife is currently going through the same thing. While she worries as most people do, she's not an anxiety sufferer. But between dealing with my illnesses and employment/money issues, it's apparently taken a toll on her. She's been on 40mg of Pantoprazole and she still has been having reflux, bloating etc. She just had a endoscopy and colonoscopy and all was normal so what does that leave? Reduce the stress levels. Keep a food diary and see where we have to modify things. I know the bottom line will be diet modification, increasing hydration, eating our main meal early in the day and nothing after 6pm. Add exercise and proper rest as well. I'm willing to bet that's what the doctor will say next week when we go for the follow-up.

Hope you feel better soon!

Positive thoughts

[jc27x]

Thanks Fishmanpa for your reply.
It's reassuring to hear from someone who has been through the thing you fear.
I assumed the tablets would work straight away or more so i hoped they would.
I have been watching what Ive been eating and I'm thinking of having a probiotic each day to see if that helps at all.

Is 20mg a low dose of omeprazole?

Im now thinking it could be ovarian cancer ?? as I have a stitch type pain that comes and goes in my lower right side. It's literally one thing after another. one symptom dissapears and another takes its place. I was just starting to relax because my back ache eased off and then up pops this pain!! what the hell?!!?

[jc27x]

Does anyone know about ovarian cancer??

sorry to post again xx

[Fishmanpa]

Does anyone know about ovarian cancer??

sorry to post again xx

It's NOT cancer! The thing about chasing the wind is that you'll never catch it but you'll sure as heck waste a lot of time trying ;)

Positive thoughts

[jc27x]

It's NOT cancer!


Thank you, I actually needed that!!!

It's just so hard to think rationally sometimes :weep:

I'm sure ill get there eventually,

I'm really thankful for this site and for members like you who take the time to reply xx

[Worried1234]

Yeah, what Fishmanpa said!!

You know the chances of OC are tiny sweetie, it's your mind playing tricks on you

Please please stop googling symptoms (I know you are!) I've stayed away from it the past few days and it really does make a difference

Love & hugs

Xxxx

[jc27x]

I knowww, I just wish rational jodie would stay but HA jodie keeps shooing her off!!

I have been sat googling for hours, I wish I knew how to block the site from my laptop!!
I'm going to stay off it from now, I have Drs apt tomorrow so hopfully after that i'll feel a little better!
Thank you again Worried for replying, its so nice having someone to talk to xxxx

[Worried1234]

No probs, let us know how it goes tomorrow

Xx

[jc27x]

I will do, thank you so much again xxxx

[Fishmanpa]

I have been sat googling for hours, I wish I knew how to block the site from my laptop!!

IF you have the willpower, all browsers have either parental controls or add on apps that will block websites and other certain subject matter based on keywords. Set it up, have you significant other or a friend password protect it so you can't bypass it and that's it! No more cancer browsing etc.

Positive thoughts

[jc27x]

Ahh thank you Fishmanpa I didnt know that, I'm going to get my dad to do it for me when he gets home from work!!

[Holds1325]

Hi,

About the omeprazole, 20mg is a starting dose, sometimes with our diet, stress levels and genetics too, the 20mg is not enough and sometimes you may need to change your diet, or if it gets worse then try a different med. Nexium does not work as well as Prilosec which is what I take. I'm on a 20mg, but sometimes people need 40mg depending on factors.

As far as the cancer worries, think about this, okay lets say that someday you get it, its very highly unlikely you have it now, why waste your time worrying? Are you going to ruin your day or evening worrying about something you won't ever grasp? Why not instead have a great evening and enjoy your life that you have now instead of worrying about your life in the future?

The sooner I accepted that, the sooner I was able to move on from my HA. I'm sure you will be able to as well.

[jc27x]

Hi Holds, thanks for the reply!

& thanks for the info/advice, I have a drs apt tomorrow so maybe she will increase the dose for me, I'm willing to try anything right now.

You are very true, I need to address all my issues tomorrow and take it from there, I'm thinking maybe a change in meds might help the anxiety as what i'm on now clearly isnt working!!

Thank you again for taking the time to reply, it really helps and means a lot.