juneleslie
13-04-16, 15:20
Hi,
I've just registered, and some people here may have already read my desperate posts in another web, so some of you may already know my story.
I'm a 22 year-old Spanish girl who, aside from myopia and a few lypomas, has not had any health problem throughout her life until now.
I've been doing a semester abroad in France from last August to December. It was the best time of my life and I came back home filled with hopes and lots of new plans to develop throughout this year. However, I noticed a moving lump over the lower part on my left rib, which worried me quite a bit. I went to the emergency doctor, she took a look at it and just told me it was no deal. I was ok. Then, a few days after I started with my driver's liecnse practice, I got a tendon inflamation in my right foot, for which I became a bit nervous (the doctor told me to calm) but eventually recovered after less than two weeks.
But the story goes here: As I had, sometimes during the month, slight abdominal pains, especially over my left rib (still have especially when I am lying down), I started to google my symptoms, got kind of obsessed with the fear of dying or dying young especially and went nuts monitorizing myself and got obsessed with pancreatic cancer. I got more and more into it up until the 17th of March (Father's Day here in Spain) couldn't sleep at all. This went over three days, up until I went to my GP, which saw me very nervous, and sent me directly to the psychiatrist. Then, she prescribed me a 10mg Ansium pill for sleeping, which did not work very well. A week later (last week) she changed my medication to 1/2 a pill of Myrtazapine during a week (30mg I think) then to take an entire one (I've started with it this Monday) combined with a pill of Zolpidem (10mg again I guess). Sometimes I sleep better than others, but it does not feel like a restorative sleep.
My symptoms are very variated, though I tend to feel better on evenings/nights (though I can't fall asleep without the pill): racing thoughts, trouble concentrating and retaining what I study and understanding things, sometimes shaky hands, sporadic hot flashes in forehead and cheeks (only in uni, weird), nervousness, sometimes floating feces, sporadic muscular twitches especially on my left leg, not feeling very tired even when I didn't sleep, morbid obsession over googling and going to this kind of forums (I can't stop, really), anhedonia, trouble going out of bed in the morning (lack of appetite and in everything I used to enjoy, really)... And everyday my concern goes through a different illness. At first I got obsessed with sporadic SFI, then ALS, cancers, shizoprenic dissorder, etc. Right now, I have read that vCDJ happens to people of my age and younger, and the early symptoms are right into many things I have and have come out of the blue (depression, anxiety, insomnia, delusion, feels like I have lost weight - my pants not that tight as they used to be- even if I eat the same as before...) and today I feel very worried about it, I feel like yes, it's very rare, but I'm that one in 2 billion cases and there is nothing left to do but waiting and getting worse until the end. I've also read that the sporadic variant can come from dental operations (got 4 teeth removed back in '09) or even contact lenses (I use monthly contact lenses, never quit them and use it for much more than the recommended month). I don't know what to think. I don't feel like me and I don't know what is going to happen to me. i was supposed to go to Chile to another semester abroad next year, but this is what is going through me right now.
So, if anyone has the guts to read this whole message (know it is long, sorry) and help me, it will be very appreciated.
I've just registered, and some people here may have already read my desperate posts in another web, so some of you may already know my story.
I'm a 22 year-old Spanish girl who, aside from myopia and a few lypomas, has not had any health problem throughout her life until now.
I've been doing a semester abroad in France from last August to December. It was the best time of my life and I came back home filled with hopes and lots of new plans to develop throughout this year. However, I noticed a moving lump over the lower part on my left rib, which worried me quite a bit. I went to the emergency doctor, she took a look at it and just told me it was no deal. I was ok. Then, a few days after I started with my driver's liecnse practice, I got a tendon inflamation in my right foot, for which I became a bit nervous (the doctor told me to calm) but eventually recovered after less than two weeks.
But the story goes here: As I had, sometimes during the month, slight abdominal pains, especially over my left rib (still have especially when I am lying down), I started to google my symptoms, got kind of obsessed with the fear of dying or dying young especially and went nuts monitorizing myself and got obsessed with pancreatic cancer. I got more and more into it up until the 17th of March (Father's Day here in Spain) couldn't sleep at all. This went over three days, up until I went to my GP, which saw me very nervous, and sent me directly to the psychiatrist. Then, she prescribed me a 10mg Ansium pill for sleeping, which did not work very well. A week later (last week) she changed my medication to 1/2 a pill of Myrtazapine during a week (30mg I think) then to take an entire one (I've started with it this Monday) combined with a pill of Zolpidem (10mg again I guess). Sometimes I sleep better than others, but it does not feel like a restorative sleep.
My symptoms are very variated, though I tend to feel better on evenings/nights (though I can't fall asleep without the pill): racing thoughts, trouble concentrating and retaining what I study and understanding things, sometimes shaky hands, sporadic hot flashes in forehead and cheeks (only in uni, weird), nervousness, sometimes floating feces, sporadic muscular twitches especially on my left leg, not feeling very tired even when I didn't sleep, morbid obsession over googling and going to this kind of forums (I can't stop, really), anhedonia, trouble going out of bed in the morning (lack of appetite and in everything I used to enjoy, really)... And everyday my concern goes through a different illness. At first I got obsessed with sporadic SFI, then ALS, cancers, shizoprenic dissorder, etc. Right now, I have read that vCDJ happens to people of my age and younger, and the early symptoms are right into many things I have and have come out of the blue (depression, anxiety, insomnia, delusion, feels like I have lost weight - my pants not that tight as they used to be- even if I eat the same as before...) and today I feel very worried about it, I feel like yes, it's very rare, but I'm that one in 2 billion cases and there is nothing left to do but waiting and getting worse until the end. I've also read that the sporadic variant can come from dental operations (got 4 teeth removed back in '09) or even contact lenses (I use monthly contact lenses, never quit them and use it for much more than the recommended month). I don't know what to think. I don't feel like me and I don't know what is going to happen to me. i was supposed to go to Chile to another semester abroad next year, but this is what is going through me right now.
So, if anyone has the guts to read this whole message (know it is long, sorry) and help me, it will be very appreciated.