View Full Version : Off to doctors tomorrow, finally...
So regarding my anxiety it's gotten out of hand to the point reassurance isn't working. I'm worryong about a freckle on my leg. It's small dark always had it, never changed but I scratched it very hard and it became inflamed and scabby. I had a nurse take a look and she said it was very fine. 100% sure I have nothing to worry about, yet I still am. In my head its melanoma.
This is a new but strong fear. I'm Moley and freckley but I'm low risk according to numerous sites. I'm dark and am rarely in the sun without a jacket or sun lotion. Fear came after a pals sisters pal had it. Survived it but fear is still there for it
It's become slight ocd in the sense I'm checkin my scalp for freckles after rediscovering one ive always had
Part of me is excited to talk about anxiety to doctor and then. Therapist but other part dreads him confirming melanoma
Sigh.
Worried1234
13-04-16, 20:45
Glad you're going to the docs to discuss the anxiety, it's a major step towards getting your life back
Re the moles I know you said reassurance isn't working but you should see some of my dad's, you'd be convinced they were the most evil malignant things (all dark and misshapen and even bleed!) but they are fine!
Your moles and freckles won't hurt you, they're where God gave you kisses before you were born :D
Good luck and lots of hugs xxxxx
Thank you.
My aunt is very Moley (hers are the ones that stick out) most of mine are flat! My whole family have them. It's just another fear I can't budge atm. Thanks for your kind words.
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It can literally be the dcotor saying oh dear yes get that tested or laughing at me.
I'm worried but calm but worried.
A nurse would know right?
Reb forget your "symptoms" and concentrate on talking about your anxiety.
Printing of one of your threads to show how irrational you anxiety is would be really useful.
Good point. How likely are GPs to listen to you? This is a new one as my old one I don't trust (misdiagnosed someone close to me).
I know you say ignore synptoms but this is a scab mole (that I did scratch, pick and prod) still scab week later?
Worried1234
13-04-16, 21:56
Scabs can take ages to heal! It's fine really
Can you ask to see a certain doctor? I find the ladies better, I think they have more empathy for certain things like anxiety
No matter what dear I have they seem to be in the media; ive seen two melanoma articles today! One about mole checking and another about a girl who was diagnosed after sunbed use.
I was once conviced I had lymphoma and I saw loads of blood cancer adverts.
The melanoma sign is going crusty and as my mole has gone scabby that's why I worryX
Bakebeansrule
13-04-16, 22:06
I hope you get the answers you are looking for tomorrow. Ive been keeping an eye on your other threads as I've found a light brown flat mole on my daughters scalp and now I'm very worried. I've booked her a doctors appointment for next Tuesday and I feel the same as you not sure if he will think I'm being daft or tell me it's something to look into
Thank you. Ive had a nurse look at them and say they're ok.
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I'm scared because ive remembered a weird birth mark wih moles near my intimate area. As far as I remember ive always had it always called it my poo Mark (it isn't just looks like one) it's a stain with dark brown freckles on (like 6) I can't find anything on Internet like this what if it's been cnacer all these years?
If it's always been there and it's only changed because you've been picking and scratching at it, it won't be melanoma :)
Reb forget your "symptoms" and concentrate on talking about your anxiety.
Printing of one of your threads to show how irrational you anxiety is would be really useful.
This is such good advice! If there's one thing at all of all the advice that has been given that you actually listen to and act on, this is the one! Printing your posts would take a bit of ink and paper so perhaps, if you have a tablet, laptop or your phone, you can show your GP the extent of your spiraling anxiety and and the urgency in which it needs to be addressed. It would also be much easier than trying to put into words what's going on. If you were to just show him your thread history and ask him to take a few minutes to read, it would speak volumes.
Hopefully the real illness will be addressed and you will get the help you so obviously and desperately need.
Good luck and as always....
Positive thoughts
Best advice I can give: be honest. Even if you're embarrassed by your fears, just say it. Ask questions. As the song goes: "say what you need to say".
I went 8+ years suffering with anxiety (including HA) and depression and I didn't tell anyone. I didn't know what would happen if I did, but I was convinced it would be bad. Either my fears would be concerned or they wouldn't be taken seriously.
Finally at the beginning of this year I went to therapy...then to my GP...then to the psychiatrist my GP referred me too. Each step of the way it was REALLY hard to be totally honest (still is sometimes in therapy). I'm just so ashamed of everything regarding my anxiety/depression and felt judged. But I force myself to be honest every time. And I have come out better because of it!
Best of luck at your appointment, I know it will go better than you think!
ServerError
14-04-16, 02:16
Yeah, just to throw in my two pennies' worth, the vast majority of doctors will take you seriously no matter how unlikely your concerns are. I've had my GP be quite firm with me at times, but only because, in her professional opinion, it's what I needed hear (she's also quite hot when she's terse... and the rest of the time, come to think of it). But yeah, be honest and share everything you feel you need to.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 04:47
Reb forget your "symptoms" and concentrate on talking about your anxiety.
Printing of one of your threads to show how irrational you anxiety is would be really useful.
Yes, forget about the context of the anxiety BUT talk about the anxiety and the symptoms of anxiety alone. It will help your GP to understand the obsessive-compulsive behaviour and just how much it is affecting you. I say this because it can make the difference between a vague GAD diagnosis and a more targeted OCD one - and treatment of them differs (remember, HA covers GAD, OCD and ALL the Somatoform Disorders to the NHS because they use the WHO manual).
As I understand it, you have been referred for therapy already so a GP now would know their options there are very limited until your appointment comes through. This may mean they will look towards meds.
It's your decision if you go that route. Therapy can still take place.
Any GP should listen to your concerns. I would forget about the bad experience with that numpty GP, the walk-in ones have been better, because this new one could be a good one for all your know. Sadly, GP's can be very supportive or they can be dinosaurs, you won't really know until you see them but at the worst, use them as a gateway to the people who can help you.
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I've had my GP be quite firm with me at times, but only because, in her professional opinion, it's what I needed hear (she's also quite hot when she's terse... and the rest of the time, come to think of it).
That's good to hear, we need more GP's who don't rush for reassurance tests or act more like solicitors to cover their backs.
...I wouldn't complain at a "hot" GP either, but sadly I always get the blokes so I don't want one of them being hot! :D Your seems more :whiplash::roflmao:
I really appreciate all your comments thanks so much.
Do I metion this weird 'birthmark' I'm sure ive always had? Only worried it's MM because it's weird and has cluster of moles and freckles within it. I used to call it my poo stain because of its location ha.
I had a dream I was worried about moles on my chin. My subconscious now has HA.
ServerError
14-04-16, 06:12
I really appreciate all your comments thanks so much.
Do I metion this weird 'birthmark' I'm sure ive always had? Only worried it's MM because it's weird and has cluster of moles and freckles within it. I used to call it my poo stain because of its location ha.
I had a dream I was worried about moles on my chin. My subconscious now has HA.
It's up to you what you decide to mention. GP consultations rarely last longer than 10 minutes so be prepared for that. As Elen mentioned earlier on in the thread, focus on your anxiety. Then it's ultimately your call as to whether you mention anything else.
I say this as someone who asks about all sorts of "symptoms" and "issues" when I see my GP. But I'm generally quite easy to reassure. Getting a straight answer usually puts my worries to bed.
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That's good to hear, we need more GP's who don't rush for reassurance tests or act more like solicitors to cover their backs.
...I wouldn't complain at a "hot" GP either, but sadly I always get the blokes so I don't want one of them being hot! :D Your seems more :whiplash::roflmao:
She always takes me seriously, but she draws a line. She certainly seems to believe that everything I've experienced has a psychological origin. I've tried to get her to refer me to a mental health unit in the past and I've also wanted her to send me for a tilt table. She wouldn't do it. She was right.
Reb please please whatever else you discuss at your appointment let them see this thread to show how useless medical re-assurance is to you.
As Terry said it will help them understand how you are thinking.
I'm jusy so so scared now thy this one ive always had is melanoma.
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I keep crying.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 10:29
Remember, Reb, you've had a nurse looking at some of this and she has said they are fine. The most likely thing a GP would be doing in my opinion is seeing a load of moles & freckles that are fine.
What is most important here is that you talk to your new GP about how this is making you feel. Tell him it has been making you cry like this. He will know straight away that's not an average reaction.
Seeing a GP can be a difficult thing for some. Some HA sufferers are fine with it, others are scared of it. I don't have HA but with my GAD I've always found those first sessions with a GP the worst. Bare in mind my age, I've had a breakdown and a subsequent relapse. The latter in my mid thirties and I'm sitting talking to my GP with my dad in their for moral support. Look how old I was. I was used to fighting senior managers working in a multinational in meetings over things and standing my ground and here I was terrified of seeing a GP I had known for 20 years. I was shaking in the car on the way. I could hardly breathe in the surgery.
You will get through it. It may be unpleasant but it is a necessary step towards getting the help you need.
It's a new set of moles I'm worried are and always have been melanoma.
It's what ive always said is m my birthmark. It's like a stain with moles inside it. After a Google it looks like Congenital nevus but still not sure. It's right near my lady area on my thigh. When I'm in the bath ive never noticed changes but because of its weirdness I'm convinced it's melanom. It's port stain wirh 6 freckles and moles on it.
Please please reconsider meds.
It will put you in a better place to deal with CBT.
It could make such a massive difference to your mental health. They saved my life.
I don't normally push for anyone to try them, but I honestly believe that in a case as severe as yours they really could be useful.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 11:19
That's true, CBT can be ineffectual if you just can't face the fears because the anxiety is too high.
Meds should be on the table for discussion BUT GP's dish them out like sweeties with little concern for the side effects so take a realistic view. They can make you feel worse at first but then you can feel better, but sometimes you have to switch around as it's a minefield.
Cit helped me. Duloxetine...has created me more problem than I went in with. It's too individual to ever say, but it's always worth considering as you could find they help.
So I went, hardly got to speak with him. He suggested blood tests to See if I have anaemia and that's makes me anxious???? Since when? He looked at moles and said he wasn't worried at all but can send me to derm for peace of mind.
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I was complete mess in there hadn't felt so bad in ages. Very dizzy and shaky.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 12:06
But you went and that's the main thing. :yesyes:
It can be hard. The anxiety will fade once it's over.
Blood tests are actually recommended by the NHS to rule out some of the things that cause anxiety, like anemia.
I really wouldn't follow up with a "peace of mind" visit to a dermatologist and quite frankly, it shouldn't even have been suggested! And the NHS complain about us wasting their money. How much are GP's wasting? He can check a mole and refer it if he's unsure, not for peace of mind. It's not easy accessing a dermatologist for a skin condition at my surgery, it took ages for my mum to get past her GP. That's just my take anyway, I just think it will only feed the anxiety but I would never judge anyone on here for doing it, anxiety is very debilitating, I just get annoyed with the NHS and their inconsistency.
And I hate asking this but what if he was concerned and that's why he wants me to go to derm?
I'm annoyed I barely got to talk about my anxiety. Felt fobbed off. Was quite looking forward to a little cry and breakdown and chat but he looked at my moles asked if they were sore and then said they were pigments (freckles).
I'm glad I went despite being a bag of nerves. Still feel shaky. Don't usually have many physical symptoms unless I'm very worried, like I was.
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He said he couldn't be 100% but mom said they have to say that to cover back.
Only reason I doubt Gps cos one told mom her squamous cell was definitely not cnacer. Left it four months, walk in clinic sh*t themselves and was reffered to hospital. It was. Got cut out and is ok but that's where my doubts come from and I wish they didn't.
It was different doctor this time for mez
ServerError
14-04-16, 12:33
As you say, he suggested seeing a dermatologist for peace of mind rather than out of concern. If he was really worried, he wouldn't leave it up to you. You'd be told you need to see one.
GP appointments are short. GPs are trained to assess you in the time they have. You just wouldn't get the chance to have a proper cry and a chat - he just can't give you that time. But if he tells you you're medically fine, that's something.
If you want somewhere to share things and to cry, consider a support group. You'll meet people who can relate, you won't be judged and you'll get to talk to people who encounter anxiety regularly. It might be good to do this while you wait for CBT.
Don't worry, your doctor didn't fob you off. He just did his job. Well done for going.
I don't know if he booked me in or not it mentioned and then that was it. Would he send appointment in post?
I work in health care. I go to many clinics and the things GP's refer for are often very eye roll worthy and people who really need specialist care have to wait longer.
Any GP who knows anything about HA should know that you don't refer someone with HA for peace of mind and they are effectively making their anxiety worse, but sometimes I think they simply think it will free up their time if they don't have a patient with HA going to them all the time with the same problem.
I am sure some of them mean well and refer out of the best of intentions but they don't often think about how they are keeping the anxiety cycle going.
You don't need to see a derm. The anxiety you will face before your appointment will set you back a lot. Most likely there will be an 18 week wait or around that time depending on their current clinic list.
Yes, GPs get things wrong. One diagnosed me with something I just didn't have, but it extremely rare that they would miss the signs of melanoma. They are much more likely to refer someone on the two weeks wait if they are even a little bit unsure then to tell someone they don't have it.
They also would never, ever tell you that you didn't have melanoma and lie to you and tell you that you are being referred for peace of mind when they actually suspected you might have it. They would be struck off and it goes against every thing they are taught. They simply would not lie to you.
You have now had reassurance from a nurse and a GP, but here you are still worrying about melanoma. This is why I suggest talking about meds. I had to write an essay on CBT and meds, it was well established that taking meds can be very beneficial for people and they are often more receptive if they have the edge off their anxiety taking off first.
I understand your fears around taking meds and there is no harm in trying CBT first and seeing if that is enough for you, but it worries me how unwell you are right now and I hate to see you struggle so much when meds could potentially make you feel so much better after they have kicked in.
I also wanted to apologise to you. I have been harsher than I should have been in some of my replies. I shouldn't have done that. It is frustrating seeing you start all these threads when it doesn't seem you take notice of anything we say, but then I look back at myself at my worst and if I had the internet then I am sure I would have been the same.
You deserve to enjoy life, you deserve peace. You spend so much time here and it's a way of avoiding real life. There is much more you can do to help yourself but that is why I also keep talking about discussing meds, I think your anxiety is just so high that it is making it impossible for you to do the basic things to help yourself.
Anyway, I'm off to work now but please think about what I have said. I don't want to sound pushy, I just want you to re-visit the idea of meds again with your GP.
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I don't know if he booked me in or not it mentioned and then that was it. Would he send appointment in post?
You would get an appointment in the post.
If you aren't sure if he referred you call the receptionist in the morning, he/she will be able to tell you.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 14:18
Self help groups are good. I went to walk-in sessions before joining here.
BUT they have rules from my experience and they won't allow the level of detail discussed on here. This can be a good thing because they let you talk but don't allow you to get into reassurance seeking behaviour because they will tell you it's not the responsibility of the group and only a GP should be advising on medical matters. That rule at the top of this forum, the one that is broken constantly everyday, never happened at the groups I went to as the coordinators would go through the rules at starting and stop anyone not following them. Meds discussions like we have on the Meds board were an absolute no go.
BUT you meet some lovely supportive people, just like on here, and the groups often run short CBT based wellness courses. Face to face is different but you do feel even more connected and push each other on.
I am doin everyone's head in.
Doctor and nurse said they aren't worrying.
Only concern is the mention of a derm and the blood tests. What would blood tests prove? Does he think I have cancer. :huh:
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Would a derm appointment mean he thinks I need to go? Therefore concerned? He said They weren't worrying. Which means, um, that they aren't worrying. Yes?
For your peace of mind he said. Sounds like a good doc to me :)
I'm having argument with myself, I'm driving me mad!
I think he's saying that because he concerned and booked blood test in because he thinks it's spread.
Logical me thinks a) he'd tell me b) if it was close to being melanoma he wouldn't use the term 'not worrying'
He'd say if he was concerned. Yep I do the arguing with myself thing. It's exhausting. I usually go out walking, use up some of the adrenaline.
I think terry hit the nail on the head in the post or my earlier deleted one.
Reassurance isn't working, it's literally up to me. Have you ever not believed or manipulated words of a doctor? I used to beleive them! Now because of his nonchalant not worrying but see a derm statement I'm like 'but is it cancer though'
I am doin everyone's head in.
Doctor and nurse said they aren't worrying.
Only concern is the mention of a derm and the blood tests. What would blood tests prove? Does he think I have cancer. :huh:
---------- Post added at 19:50 ---------- Previous post was at 19:49 ----------
Would a derm appointment mean he thinks I need to go? Therefore concerned? He said They weren't worrying. Which means, um, that they aren't worrying. Yes?
Reb, I spent a long time posting my last reply to you.
You didn't even acknowledge it or take any of my advice on board.
At this point I'm simply going to wish you well for the future.
This is why referring for "peace of mind" is so counterproductive for someone with HA.
The GP isn't concerned. You were in and out of the room very quickly. You have now got a routine referral to a dermatologist because the GP doesn't understand how HA can take over someone's life to the point that no reassurance is possible and all-consuming doubt just takes over.
Hi Hypo!
I had mentally replied to your message; thank you so much. I have only just got internet connection so forgot to respond. I have screenshotted your messgae as something I can go back to.
I know a doctor wouldn't shrug me off if he was even slightly concerned but talk of derm for my peace of mind has my belly in a tickle. Just as you stated it would.
I think my weird make is Speckled lentiginous naevus. He didn't even flicker at the whole of it as he mentioned the freckle looked a bit bigger than one on arm so colour. The whole thing is quite big so he didn't flinch at that.
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Honest mistake hypo I had read your message just before I lost connection, it didn't fall on deaf ears.
Good :)
Not that you need to reply to me or anything but I am glad you did read it and take some of it on board.
Stop goggling please. If you do one thing, make it that.
I'm going to start Headspace tonight. It was a useful method last time.
---------- Post added at 21:06 ---------- Previous post was at 21:03 ----------
This post explains it well http://www.empowher.com/mental-health/content/hypochondria-and-obsessive-compulsive-disorder
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Doc has said they can look through dermscope does that mean he doesn't teust himself and thinks Derm is better.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 22:47
The fact is a GP sees a HA patient and should know that "hinting" at a test for "peace of mind" a) won't give many any this peace of mind if they haven't got the control of their anxiety to get their head around it - at the moment you don't and b) just planted a seed of doubt in your mind that will very quickly wipe out whatever good his examination has done.
Poor doctoring in my view. It shows ignorance or naivety. Like Hypo said, some GP's just do it because it gets you out of the surgery quicker than talking to you longer about the real issues. Give him another chance though but pursue him over anxiety and don't let him side track the appointment checking moles.
I think terry hit the nail on the head in the post or my earlier deleted one.
Reassurance isn't working, it's literally up to me. Have you ever not believed or manipulated words of a doctor? I used to beleive them! Now because of his nonchalant not worrying but see a derm statement I'm like 'but is it cancer though'
Yes, many times.
The blood test was to check for anemia, wasn't it? My therapist said there are a lot of simple body or hormonal imbalances that can contribute to anxiety, so a blood test can be a good thing.
Did you talk to him much about your anxiety? Did he have any insight on how to proceed on that front?
I tried but I think he didnt understand IT or hadnt dealt with it before. It was a quick in and out. I think maybe old fashioned docs don't understand mental illnesses.
I am satisfied he took a proper look at moles though. Because of location of one he got a nurse in to chaperone.
He said he wants blood test to check for reasons of anxiety such as anaemia, what else could it be? I saw something about liver and thyroid function on blood test referral too so that made me think worst! I have had a letter in post for talking therapies so will call tomorrow.
ServerError
14-04-16, 22:57
Poor doctoring in my view. It shows ignorance or nativity.
I have to admit even I'd struggle to place my trust in a GP so preoccupied by Christmas this early in the year. :winks:
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 22:59
I have to admit even I'd struggle to place my trust in a GP so preoccupied by Christmas this early in the year. :winks:
Ruddy predictive text! :roflmao:
Yes terry I felt he felt uncomfortable when I mentioned anxiety like it's not a real issue. Obviously with mole concern he saw that as Proper doctoring so did that well. I'm feeling better tonight. Had my aunt tell me off again. My mom snd my chap tell me off.
I have said though I can't control my thoughts just yet and that's why I'm off to get therapy. I was checking my other freckles and moles but I realised i really wasn't helpong self.
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Haha nativity.
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 23:03
Mixed doctoring I should really have said, the blood tests are good, but he should have realised about leaving a referral in the hands of someone so preoccupied with their health. Perhaps he didn't spend the time listening & questioning though so it's perhaps harsh to judge at a first appointment.
It could just be inexperience. My GP is pretty poor with mental health beyond the normal summary level but he had a good manner with being a mature GP in his fifties. However, I have seen a young guy once and he was also fine. So, make up your mind after more visits, it could just be out of his comfort zone.
I had only just met this guy, I don't have a regular GP like most do and those they can trust. I feel if o went back to him he'd be like ffs, what now. But still believe he's a good Doctor despite feeling in and out. If he'd thought it was melanoma he wouldn't have said not worrying. Something about pigments which are other words for freckles yes?
I shoudve paid attention in science class. My chap often jokes I need books on how the body works ��
MyNameIsTerry
14-04-16, 23:10
Ill let those on here with actual HA issues comment on whether a book on that would make a good Xmas pressie. :D
(ServerError - good job I'm now checking my text a bit closer as "those" just came up with "t osser"... which must reflect my regular Swype habits :roflmao:)
Thyroid issues can mess with anxiety. My therapist told me the other day that if I go in for a routine physical to have my magnesium checked as that of all things can cause problems (especially as I get migraines as well).
I'm sorry he wasn't receptive to your anxiety, Reb. If I could I'd teleport you over here to my doctor - he doesn't understand anxiety super well either but was incredibly supportive when I went into his office in tears and he helped me get the support I needed. All doctors should be so amazing.
I don't know how your health system works, to be honest. Can you choose a different doctor or are you randomly assigned? Is there any way you could ask to see if a specific doctor would be a better fit. Or read online reviews?
It's just really frustrating to hear that your doctor saw what the real problem was and didn't address it at all.
I do think if you go back you should print or bookmark some of these threads and really show him what you're going through. You HAVE anxiety. It's pretty intense. You need help. I know you're booked for therapy, but I also think it would benefit you to have someone with experience decide if medication is right for you as well.
Meds can be scary but they're not always that bad. It's kind of a gamble you have to take, I guess. My own GP didn't know much about what to prescribe, but he started with something innocent (hydroxyine) and when that didn't help prescribed Lexapro at a super low dose. He also got me referred to a psych on the very first visit, though I had to wait a month to do so, during which time I had weekly appointments to see how I was doing on the medication and in general.
Maybe I got lucky. But I'm rather frustrated with your GP right now. You deserve to get better.
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