Hats
14-04-16, 00:02
Okay, so I was feeling better about my hemorrhoid issue. I received from guidance here, and after finding a moment of sanity, I thought that perhaps what I have are skin tags. It fits the description. This helped ease my mind a little. Last night I was up with my son for the third night in row, and fourth in about 5 days. He is 9 and having some urination issues that past few days. I've been trying to be sane about this. It's hard, but I have to for him, and his siblings. Today we took him to the doctor, and he then had to see a urologist. He then had ultrasounds. He is fine and they feel it's not necessarily fully medical. He is miserable beyond belief and very uncomfortable. This is days of my sweet little happy-go-lucky boy being under the weather. He is sobbing from discomfort and sad it's taken away so much of his past few days. I can't do anything that consoles him. I just hug and tell him I'm there for him.
Yesterday and today, and periodically this past weekend, I am trying to resume a more normal diet, as I've been in fear to eat and get diarrhea since I had a bad bout starting April 2-4. This have been slowly improving there, though I can't stop researching and imagining worse. With my son's issue ongoing, it's adding to my anxiety/stress/nerves/worries. I stuff it down. Yesterday the kids wanted to go for frozen yogurt and we did. It was delicious. Last night was tacos. I had a harder time eating those because I was nervous about my son and my hemorrhoid issue. I ate most of one and some dried shells. I felt fine.
So low and behold today, when we get back from doctors (we were there for about 4 1/2 hours), I used bathroom and see normal stool color with some yellow all on top of the water. Second time I used bathroom, again mixed with regular color, but some yellow all on top of the water, and what looked like worms or something that turned out to be mucus. The only time that happened to me was April 3 in midst of my bowel distress after I took a probiotic. I took probiotics for almost a week, but found that increasing them created a small setback in stool structure. My husband says probiotics make his poo yellowish when he first started, or resume after breaks, and after that one or two times last week, the yellow went away for me too. Why did it return today!!! Could my cup of frozen yogurt, that is advertised as full of probiotics and 5 active cultures from yday be cause like I suspected last time?
I had complete blood work last Wednesday. The only thing that he mentioned to me was that my glucose was slightly higher as it wasn't a fast. He said it didn't concern him. I looked at some of my other blood results and some seemed a bit off from the spectrum, but he didn't mention these. Some were different from my CBC from last August. He said my pancreas and liver levels seemed good, as was gallbladder. Nothing in my blood work seemed to flag them as cancer, or celiac (though I wasn't tested for that specifically, but off number could point to that). SO WHY CAN'T I STOP!!!!
My husband is getting stressed. I'm surprised he's been as patient as he is. He was sympathetic to our son's issues, especially since he has had similar issues, but at the same he gets visibly upset that it puts kinks into our lives. He likes to get stuff done, and things have halted more and more in the past 2 months. Some because of my issues, and some because kids being sick here and there.
So here I am again. Just when I have the eff it moment and say I'll eat and drink without worry again, this happens. I can't just chill. Today I'm so thirsty. I greatly increased my water intake in mid-February (to decrease water retention puffiness--it worked) and now I've gone down to very little water in fear of diarrhea. The thought of eating again makes me feel queasy all over again.
So, some questions. I feel like I am so anxious and on edge, that I am hypersensitive to any tiny trigger. I feel like I was under some much stress (some self-imposed, some not) for months. I get anxious then but I sort of plow through. I get a migraine, or cranky and move on, until the next migraine or cranky moment. Then when things are on the upswing, I lose it. This has happened time and time again. I'm afraid this time is different. HA is evil trickery. I can't believe I am really sick. But I cannot believe this HA again.
I feel I have a delayed stress reaction. That when things are finally calming down, I find something to pick at. I'm the ultimate wound picker. I feel like there is a stress volcano ridge. Triggers have me go up the volcano, then a huge explosion, the multiple aftershocks whenever I start to see the light. My body aches. My core and back feel beaten or so. My heart is racing, my bp going higher, my ribcage feels looser from deep breathing all the time. I can feel my ribs click on both sides. All this stress started to come out first as two back to back bad colds, and two back to back odd menstrual cycles, and now as these GI issues. Where do all the stress hormones go when they course through our bodies? Can they cause temporary chronic issues, until I can deal with this? Will this ruin my GI tract indefinitely? I have so much in my life I am not dealing with. My house and yard is just in such dire straits. Nothing is organised anymore. I'm starting to be afraid to use the bathroom, eat or just go places for long. How do people finally trust their doctor's words?? How can I be regular one day and then not the next day? I feel like it's my stress. Is that possible? My sane part tells me it is. But that is fading.
I've read that when people sometimes experience bowel issues for months after an initial set off, like temporary IBS. If it were really something dangerous, wouldn't it be more chronic than right after stifling stress, or worry? The HA makes me blind to most logic at the moment.
I am wondering if I should finally take the Immodium even though this isn't true loose stool but seems to be quicker digestion. My son's issue at the moment is really throwing me for a loop. I think that any digestive is a response to my high sensitivity trigger. I hate to rush time but I can't wait to talk to my doctor on Friday. And a therapist next Wednesday. Looking back in my life, my worse anxiety episodes usually came to an unbearable level in April. Ever since I was in college.
I feel I lost two months of my life with increasing worry. Could anxiety and stress actually cause all this strife? I feel it can as it has for me before. But I'm not thinking clearly anymore.
Yesterday and today, and periodically this past weekend, I am trying to resume a more normal diet, as I've been in fear to eat and get diarrhea since I had a bad bout starting April 2-4. This have been slowly improving there, though I can't stop researching and imagining worse. With my son's issue ongoing, it's adding to my anxiety/stress/nerves/worries. I stuff it down. Yesterday the kids wanted to go for frozen yogurt and we did. It was delicious. Last night was tacos. I had a harder time eating those because I was nervous about my son and my hemorrhoid issue. I ate most of one and some dried shells. I felt fine.
So low and behold today, when we get back from doctors (we were there for about 4 1/2 hours), I used bathroom and see normal stool color with some yellow all on top of the water. Second time I used bathroom, again mixed with regular color, but some yellow all on top of the water, and what looked like worms or something that turned out to be mucus. The only time that happened to me was April 3 in midst of my bowel distress after I took a probiotic. I took probiotics for almost a week, but found that increasing them created a small setback in stool structure. My husband says probiotics make his poo yellowish when he first started, or resume after breaks, and after that one or two times last week, the yellow went away for me too. Why did it return today!!! Could my cup of frozen yogurt, that is advertised as full of probiotics and 5 active cultures from yday be cause like I suspected last time?
I had complete blood work last Wednesday. The only thing that he mentioned to me was that my glucose was slightly higher as it wasn't a fast. He said it didn't concern him. I looked at some of my other blood results and some seemed a bit off from the spectrum, but he didn't mention these. Some were different from my CBC from last August. He said my pancreas and liver levels seemed good, as was gallbladder. Nothing in my blood work seemed to flag them as cancer, or celiac (though I wasn't tested for that specifically, but off number could point to that). SO WHY CAN'T I STOP!!!!
My husband is getting stressed. I'm surprised he's been as patient as he is. He was sympathetic to our son's issues, especially since he has had similar issues, but at the same he gets visibly upset that it puts kinks into our lives. He likes to get stuff done, and things have halted more and more in the past 2 months. Some because of my issues, and some because kids being sick here and there.
So here I am again. Just when I have the eff it moment and say I'll eat and drink without worry again, this happens. I can't just chill. Today I'm so thirsty. I greatly increased my water intake in mid-February (to decrease water retention puffiness--it worked) and now I've gone down to very little water in fear of diarrhea. The thought of eating again makes me feel queasy all over again.
So, some questions. I feel like I am so anxious and on edge, that I am hypersensitive to any tiny trigger. I feel like I was under some much stress (some self-imposed, some not) for months. I get anxious then but I sort of plow through. I get a migraine, or cranky and move on, until the next migraine or cranky moment. Then when things are on the upswing, I lose it. This has happened time and time again. I'm afraid this time is different. HA is evil trickery. I can't believe I am really sick. But I cannot believe this HA again.
I feel I have a delayed stress reaction. That when things are finally calming down, I find something to pick at. I'm the ultimate wound picker. I feel like there is a stress volcano ridge. Triggers have me go up the volcano, then a huge explosion, the multiple aftershocks whenever I start to see the light. My body aches. My core and back feel beaten or so. My heart is racing, my bp going higher, my ribcage feels looser from deep breathing all the time. I can feel my ribs click on both sides. All this stress started to come out first as two back to back bad colds, and two back to back odd menstrual cycles, and now as these GI issues. Where do all the stress hormones go when they course through our bodies? Can they cause temporary chronic issues, until I can deal with this? Will this ruin my GI tract indefinitely? I have so much in my life I am not dealing with. My house and yard is just in such dire straits. Nothing is organised anymore. I'm starting to be afraid to use the bathroom, eat or just go places for long. How do people finally trust their doctor's words?? How can I be regular one day and then not the next day? I feel like it's my stress. Is that possible? My sane part tells me it is. But that is fading.
I've read that when people sometimes experience bowel issues for months after an initial set off, like temporary IBS. If it were really something dangerous, wouldn't it be more chronic than right after stifling stress, or worry? The HA makes me blind to most logic at the moment.
I am wondering if I should finally take the Immodium even though this isn't true loose stool but seems to be quicker digestion. My son's issue at the moment is really throwing me for a loop. I think that any digestive is a response to my high sensitivity trigger. I hate to rush time but I can't wait to talk to my doctor on Friday. And a therapist next Wednesday. Looking back in my life, my worse anxiety episodes usually came to an unbearable level in April. Ever since I was in college.
I feel I lost two months of my life with increasing worry. Could anxiety and stress actually cause all this strife? I feel it can as it has for me before. But I'm not thinking clearly anymore.