Gryphoenix
07-03-07, 18:13
Hi everybody,
I'm a 21 year old gal from the US of A, and I just want to say first off how awesome this site has been, I found it while surfing around and it answered almost every single question I had and made me feel a whole lot better after an awful panicky night.
After said discovery I realized what exactly I had been through in the last couple of months. The first PA I had recently was in an elevator going to the top of the Washington Monument in DC (big oblisk type building) and I had no idea what was going on except I had gotten terrified at being packed in the elevator, it was super crowded. I think I was mostly afraid of that lurch one gets sometimes in fast, tall elevators, the memory kept picking at me until I was sure it was going to happen and then the crowding didn't help matters. What totally sprialed it was the fact when I had gotten in and it was crowded and the elevator doorman...guy...person closed the door and I just KNEW I couldn't get off. I wanted to get off then but when I knew I couldn't get off I was like "Agggh!" But when I got to the top I felt much better, I'm not really that afraid of heights and the view was gorgeous. But then when it was time to wait for the elevator again I started feeling dizzy and I couldn't calm myself down, my heart was beating super fast and my family who I was with chalked it up to feeling dizzy cause I was up so high and also it was really tight and dark in there, a very enclosed space.
I had been extra-tired that day anyway, I had gotten like one hour of sleep and drank some coffee right before we went on top of the monument so I think that might have had something to do with it. Surprisingly enough I was fine the rest of the day though mind-numbingly tired, even when I went on another elevator in a museum it didn't bother me. It was just a couple of floors though.
And then it was fine for a couple of weeks when I went back to school but for some reason one morning that I was seriously running late, I had stopped to notice that my heart was beating really fast and I started worrying over that. Then I couldn't stop worrying and then that made it beat faster until I ran for the bathroom with a full blown PA and I didn't know what to do so with every surge of fear it made my heart race faster. I had that fight-or-flight feeling like I had to escape but I knew dimly that where would I go? I ended up running to my bedroom and ducking under the covers but after a nice long talk with my mom about it I felt much better. I also had those palpitations (ectopics), the heart jumpy things I always called them and had been terrified to talk about them but it turns out my dad had them too and when he came home he assured me that they were fine, and he ought to know because he had been to the doc quite alot about his heart. I was still feeling terrible throughout the whole day and wasn't able to go outside of the house when my mom suggested I get some fresh air, and I hated missing the classes I did that day. So the next day I refused to let myself miss class again, though I was terrified again at getting out of the house I sort of muscled through it and calmed myself down at spots, slowed down so that I wouldn't get myself into a frenzy again. So I did go to class and oddly enough, it was perfectly plesant and normal and I didn't get scared one bit.
I had slightly smaller PA a couple weeks ago, but it wasn't as intense as the others because I knew better now. Actually this whole thing had been good for me because now I'm eating better and excercising which was something I like...didn't do before. So yay for keeping New Year's resolutions! (Though this one was rather...forced, come to think of it.) Keeping off the caffine was kind of sad for me because I love the coffee and Pepsi but then...if you think about it, that means I don't need it and have a natural way of keeping up the energy. I've been trying to get to bed at earlier hours so that I won't end up getting insominac-y again.
I guess the things I still need help on are the feeling of exaustion one gets, I feel a little panicky when I get like that and also I want to be able to go traveling, flying and things like that. I mean I don't really think I'll have that much of a problem flying because I've done it all my life and have had a ton of experience with it (so the odds, nothing really bad has happened yet with all the flights I've taken) but I do think I might have some issues with the claustraphobia and the 'not able to get off' which totally killed me on the elevator stuff.
WHEW. Jeez, I wrote a lot. And I had a lot more to say but I edited down. Sorry for writing so much but it felt reeeeally good to get it all down. Hope I wasn't a bore.
I'm a 21 year old gal from the US of A, and I just want to say first off how awesome this site has been, I found it while surfing around and it answered almost every single question I had and made me feel a whole lot better after an awful panicky night.
After said discovery I realized what exactly I had been through in the last couple of months. The first PA I had recently was in an elevator going to the top of the Washington Monument in DC (big oblisk type building) and I had no idea what was going on except I had gotten terrified at being packed in the elevator, it was super crowded. I think I was mostly afraid of that lurch one gets sometimes in fast, tall elevators, the memory kept picking at me until I was sure it was going to happen and then the crowding didn't help matters. What totally sprialed it was the fact when I had gotten in and it was crowded and the elevator doorman...guy...person closed the door and I just KNEW I couldn't get off. I wanted to get off then but when I knew I couldn't get off I was like "Agggh!" But when I got to the top I felt much better, I'm not really that afraid of heights and the view was gorgeous. But then when it was time to wait for the elevator again I started feeling dizzy and I couldn't calm myself down, my heart was beating super fast and my family who I was with chalked it up to feeling dizzy cause I was up so high and also it was really tight and dark in there, a very enclosed space.
I had been extra-tired that day anyway, I had gotten like one hour of sleep and drank some coffee right before we went on top of the monument so I think that might have had something to do with it. Surprisingly enough I was fine the rest of the day though mind-numbingly tired, even when I went on another elevator in a museum it didn't bother me. It was just a couple of floors though.
And then it was fine for a couple of weeks when I went back to school but for some reason one morning that I was seriously running late, I had stopped to notice that my heart was beating really fast and I started worrying over that. Then I couldn't stop worrying and then that made it beat faster until I ran for the bathroom with a full blown PA and I didn't know what to do so with every surge of fear it made my heart race faster. I had that fight-or-flight feeling like I had to escape but I knew dimly that where would I go? I ended up running to my bedroom and ducking under the covers but after a nice long talk with my mom about it I felt much better. I also had those palpitations (ectopics), the heart jumpy things I always called them and had been terrified to talk about them but it turns out my dad had them too and when he came home he assured me that they were fine, and he ought to know because he had been to the doc quite alot about his heart. I was still feeling terrible throughout the whole day and wasn't able to go outside of the house when my mom suggested I get some fresh air, and I hated missing the classes I did that day. So the next day I refused to let myself miss class again, though I was terrified again at getting out of the house I sort of muscled through it and calmed myself down at spots, slowed down so that I wouldn't get myself into a frenzy again. So I did go to class and oddly enough, it was perfectly plesant and normal and I didn't get scared one bit.
I had slightly smaller PA a couple weeks ago, but it wasn't as intense as the others because I knew better now. Actually this whole thing had been good for me because now I'm eating better and excercising which was something I like...didn't do before. So yay for keeping New Year's resolutions! (Though this one was rather...forced, come to think of it.) Keeping off the caffine was kind of sad for me because I love the coffee and Pepsi but then...if you think about it, that means I don't need it and have a natural way of keeping up the energy. I've been trying to get to bed at earlier hours so that I won't end up getting insominac-y again.
I guess the things I still need help on are the feeling of exaustion one gets, I feel a little panicky when I get like that and also I want to be able to go traveling, flying and things like that. I mean I don't really think I'll have that much of a problem flying because I've done it all my life and have had a ton of experience with it (so the odds, nothing really bad has happened yet with all the flights I've taken) but I do think I might have some issues with the claustraphobia and the 'not able to get off' which totally killed me on the elevator stuff.
WHEW. Jeez, I wrote a lot. And I had a lot more to say but I edited down. Sorry for writing so much but it felt reeeeally good to get it all down. Hope I wasn't a bore.