Mental health issues

[ServerError]

I think on the whole I'm doing quite well with my anxiety. However, I'm having a bit of a reassurance-seeking day today having seen my doctor and been for a CBT session, so here's my last dose if it before getting into bed.

I understand how diverse our fears can be and how anxiety moves from one thing to the other. Today, I'm back to fears about serious mental health problems. I'm worried that I'm going to start hearing voices - that either anxiety will lead to some sort of psychosis or that I actually have something worse than anxiety. The doctor was asking me questions today because I was in a good mood when I saw her - it was clear she was trying to ascertain if it was just a good mood or a symptom of something like bipolar disorder. She also asked me if I'd had any thoughts of harming myself. I haven't, but one of my biggest fears is that it could lead there. Not out of choice, but beyond my control. Can anxiety lead to psychosis/schizophrenia? It isn't something I particularly want to Google.

I also remember speaking to two mental health assessors at hospital during my most acute bout of anxiety. One said "if you constantly worry about something, it becomes reality". I've not been able to forget that sentence. It's not that I think worrying about bowel cancer will give me bowel cancer, but he was referring to things like hearing voices. This isn't something I've experienced, but it felt like he was saying 'stop worrying about it or it will happen.' The other assessor reassuringly stated firmly 'it's anxiety, definitely anxiety', but then said 'there is no psychosis yet'. That 'yet' frightened the life out of me.

I don't feel comfortable Googling these things. I just want to know if others experience the same fear - that you're actually losing your mind - and if the risk of it becoming something worse is there.

---------- Post added at 00:47 ---------- Previous post was at 00:43 ----------

I forgot to add, I was also asked today if I have felt the urge to go on reckless shopping sprees or to make grand plans impulsively. I couldn't think of anything specific, but I know why I was asked this.

I then recalled some things that have happened lately. I've stayed in hotels a few nights recently just because I like the change of scene, but I did it fairly impulsively. I've also bought quite a few books, which is something I'd stopped doing, although I did used to do it a lot. And I'm making plans for a trip to Morocco this summer. I'm now worried these mundane-sounding things are signs of a personality disorder or of bipolar disorder or something. I mean, surely not every impulsive decision or grand idea has to mean anything that serious, even in an anxiety sufferer?

[netminder1976]

Certainly the anxiety is playing a major role into everything you're feeling. I have had most of these same thoughts but then I read somewhere (maybe even here) that crazy people don't worry about going crazy. Your thoughts are just so strong that it is making you feel like you are going crazy but I assure you that you are not. And I wouldn't think too much into what some person at the hospital said as not all are cut out for dealing with people with anxiety, probably because they've never had it in the form that we do. Just hang in there bud and this too shall pass.

[ServerError]

Thanks netminder. Trying to just plough on. Sometimes I feel daft for doubting my sanity when I'm capable of so much normal behaviour. But then other times it's like I'm just waiting to be carted off or to hear some voice telling me to do something horrid.

[Buster70]

Hi , my best freind from school is scizophrenic and it usually begins in your late teens as it did with him , he never believed or thought he had a problem and truly believed all of the crazy stuff that he was saying , I too thought I was going mad and when things get bad like now I still do your mind sounds like it's very tired , if you are thinking rationally some of the time and you have worries about being mad you're not , as for planning holidays and staying at hotels I think like me you are just trying to run away from your problems , fight or flight maybe , it's half three in the morning here and I'm feeling pretty bad myself wish I could run away from my self/ life , take care and hang in there

[MyNameIsTerry]

When they said "if you constantly worry about something, it becomes reality", they meant the power of the mind bringing on symptoms. The mind cannot give you an illness in such as your cancer example and just the same it cannot make you become a schizophrenic. Thinking that your mind holds such power in the physical world would fall into Magical Thinking, one of my OCD themes.

They just mean if you worry about a fast heart beat, guess what you will start feeling? It's relevant in a fear of schizophrenia because you can see things at the edge of your vision and worry they are hallucinations. If you read ChocoOrange's thread below you will see him worrying along these lines. But these "tricks of the mind" types of things are vastly different to true hallucination.

The mind is powerful and unusual. Just look at things like Phantom Limb Syndrome. There are HA cases where the mind has created quite severe physical manifestations but I won't talk about them on here for obvious reasons - but not something like schizophrenia, psychosis, delusion, delirium, etc.

Psychosis is a difficult one because we can't guarantee we won't ever in our lifetimes experience it. However, it is NOT connected to anxiety disorders in the way that you could start to experience it because you have anxiety, it would mean experiencing something that is a trigger event for an episode of psychosis e.g. something organic (you know why I'm not going to mention a name of one) or a severe life trauma. Depression can include psychosis, as can certain bipolar disorders, but we are talking the extreme end of things.

Personality Disorders do have impulse control disorders or symptoms at their core. However, like you state, we have to remember that impulsivity it a normal human behaviour, just like anxiety is, it's when it is out of control (a disorder, a symptom of one) that it becomes a problem. So, being happy and thinking "ooh, I really fancy a second sausage roll" could be impulsive, but it's not detrimental. The same with going on a spending spree. In a PD the control is weaker and we are talking more extreme things like the sexual impulse control issues we often hear about. And really, if a woman was indicating sex was on the cards, are a large % of men struggling with an impulse control (well, perhaps we are as "little Terry" may be taking over :winks: but you now what I mean, we still have control of our actions). Impulse control can be seen in such as OCD but it's otherwise regarded more at the other end of the spectrum to obsessive-compulsive behaviour which is about fear & mitigation whereas impulse control is about reward seeking.

I just think they were being thorough. If you have any of these issues, they would have told you. For a start, meds would be needed for some of these more complex disorders and potential sectioning.

Have a look at this thread because I've posted in some links to other threads with current members worrying about more serious mental health issues:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=182474

Inside the one from ChocoOrange, you will see I've posted a load more too. It's quite common, and well known as an OCD theme, often termed SchizOCD.

[ServerError]

Thanks for the responses guys. Terry - thanks for taking the time to give me so much information.

I'm reassured to an extent in that I know anxiety doesn't go on to become schizophrenia or anything like that. I guess the lack of a cast iron guarantee that I won't experience psychosis is not as reassuring, given that I have anxiety. But the thing is, if you'd told me the exact same thing about psychosis before anxiety came along, it wouldn't have worried me. I'd have just gotten on with my life, so I guess that's what I have to do now.

It's just very uncomfortable when you start to question your sanity. Everybody says I am as sane as ever, but I suddenly stopped seeing psychosis as something that happens to other people. And the guys at the hospital made me very nervous.

Buster70 - thanks for your thoughts. I broadly agree with what you say, especially with the hotels thing. However, I love travelling and, if anxiety had never come along, I'd still be thinking about summer holidays. Surely I'm still entitled to do this without it meaning anything more than I want to go to Morocco? This is the problem - I'm second-guessing what my decisions and actions mean.

[MyNameIsTerry]

You are certainly very sane, that's for sure! You wouldn't be having the conversations that you do on here without full cognition, that's for sure!

The thing with psychosis is, because it can come out of severe trauma, organic issues, etc then I think you just have to look at it like you do cancer. And embrace uncertainty, which you will have to do anyway to recover from anxiety. Is it so different from worrying about dementia or anything else really? Like the old wisdom we are reminded of, you would lose your life to worrying to come to the end of it never having suffered anything you feared.

Mental health problems are like staring into the abyss. How can you learn to not let that bother you once you've seen it inside? Like how once you've experienced intrusive thoughts, how can you no longer feel them all the time? I can remember that stage. But you do move past that eventually and whilst you may have a heightened sense to notice them (intrusive thoughts you never realised were there before, for instance) you don't let them dictate to you anymore and let them go.

[netminder1976]

How have you been ServerError? Hopefully better. Ive found myself in the same boat as you now worrying about mental health. Funny how I can be on here telling you everything is normal and then days later I'm worried about the same things. Let me know how you doing now.

[helenhoo]

Few days ago for instance I was checking my spit for blood and couldnt see Any but five spits later I coudl; chances are I irritated mouth,

[ServerError]

How have you been ServerError? Hopefully better. Ive found myself in the same boat as you now worrying about mental health. Funny how I can be on here telling you everything is normal and then days later I'm worried about the same things. Let me know how you doing now.

As is so often the case with anxiety, this fear has decreased and I'm worrying about other things now. It's not completely gone away but it's not on my mind as much. Trying to remember that I'm not showing any signs of anything more than anxiety. Currently stressing about sleep issues and fatigue.


Few days ago for instance I was checking my spit for blood and couldnt see Any but five spits later I coudl; chances are I irritated mouth,

Thank you for this pleasant image. :huh:

[fretty freda]

HiI'm on my phone .How can I find this thread once I login on my laptop thankyou x

[ServerError]

I would imagine as long as you don't take too long it will be near the top of the page when you visit on your laptop later on.

Incidentally, seeing this thread now makes me realise how far I've come since posting it.

[Traceypo]

Hi, really pleased you've seen your progress in such a short time, sometimes it helps to write out the thoughts and fears, when we look back over them, after a good night sleep or when feeling stronger we can see the irrational thinking that we couldn't see when we wrote it.
I have experience of working with young people with personality disorders, it impacts on all aspects of their lives from maintaining relationships to keeping accommodation. Generally there is a fear of rejection, lie telling or fantasising, an inability to understand how their actions would impact on others, offending behaviour possibly due to lack of consequential thinking and risk taking behaviours. From your post, I can't see how you fit this. On the impulse side, I have done things that you describe, sometimes for a break as I used to manage my anxiety when I was relaxed on a break. I've also booked 'grand' holidays, the reasons for that were to give me a focus, something to look forward too and something to challenge myself with.
It strikes me when I read many posts on here that the posts are often articulate, the posters often able to analyse thoughts and behaviours which makes me wonder if there is a link between anxiety and overall intelligence.
In terms of psychosis, from what I've learnt through my employment is that if you had psychosis, you wouldn't know it or question whether you had it, as to you, your behaviour and thoughts would be 'normal', you would believe that it's the actions of others that are abnormal.

[fretty freda]

Really Tracey ? What do you do are you a nurse ? Also my worries are similar with my GAD server error I'm petrified that worrying about developing skitzophrenia could bring it on .For example if I worry about hearing voices enough it might happen ? Anxiety is horrible I've never heard voices ever but what if thinking about it triggers it to happen I'm not a psychiatrist how do I know this won't happen x