Obsession causing me severe panic

[Abeechx]

I have this obsession which so far no one else in the world seems to have! I've read countless forums and searched on different websites to see if I can relate to anyone but so far only me!! I FEEL SO ALONE :-(
My obsession is with breathing and it's not that I think I'm going to run out of air or I can't breathe ..... it's the fact that I have to do it to stay alive all day everyday 24/7 and I can constantly feel my chest rising and falling and there is no escape. I dont like it and I'm scared of my own breathing I want it to stop.
I have moments when I think I just dont like this sensation! I am trapped and no one can stop it and I can't stop it.
Constantly feeling air going in and out of my body is making me have severe panic attacks!! So severe that I think of sucide as the only escape. I've had many suicidal thoughts but I don't want to do it as I have my daughter who needs me. The only reason I keep going is for her. This is causing me massive depression and I cry all day. I am seeing a cbt therapist and I don't want to take medication as I'm scared I will have to relie on that constantly as I'm always panicking. It seams like I'm scared and panicky every second of the day and I have about 10-15 attacks a day with my heart pounding and trembling. Please someone help me I'm loosing my mind over this. I just want to be happy with my baby girl. I thought it was ocd but how can it be when I'm forced to breath and have no choice. I can't do exposure response therapy when I'm constantly exposed.

Sorry for the long post. Thanks

[MyNameIsTerry]

Copied from the other thread:


Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:

If you mean you feel you have to control your breathing a fair bit then this is common and referred to as Manual Breathing and just one of thosesymptoms of any anxiety disorder really. But if you feel it to such extreme levels that you are obsessed with controlling it then it is OCD but it's one of the lesser known forms that is called Sensorimotor OCD. This covers the need to control an automated function of the body and commonly breathing, swallowing and blinking are mentioned but it can apply to any function.

Your subconscious will always retain control over any autonomic function, since you can't control it consciously in your sleep and must sleep sometime as your body will force you too. I bet sleep is difficult though.

There is a long running thread on it on the OCD board. It's one of the most debilitating forms of OCD, in my opinion, as there is just no end to it as it's so quick & repetitive all day long. It can be beaten though, like any form of OCD.

I might have posted a link to an article about it in that thread which talks about a few different methods to treat it, not just CBT.

Edit: If you search for "Sensorimotor" on the OCD board you will get two pages of different threads right now.

This was the one I was thinking of but it's about swallowing. Same OCD theme though:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7727&highlight=Sensorimotor

Also, this is the article I mentioned to save you trawling through that thread about it:

http://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/when-automatic-bodily-processes-become-conscious-how-to-disengage-from-sens

[Abeechx]

Thank you for the reply.... It's not so much that I need to control it or that I am scared it will stop it's actually the "feeling" of the air going in and out that freaks me out. I can't stop it...I notice the feeling of inhaling and exhaling all day long and I can't take my mind off it. I just want to stop breathing but I can't because I will die and I don't want to die. So the fact that I will forever feel this sensation is causing me massive anxiety and panic.
That's why I said I can't find anyone else with this certain condition I've looked through forums but all I can find is people who have health anxiety related to breathing but for me that's not the problem. I don't know how to fix this I've tried everything to take my mind off it and it's been a major problem for 4 months. I can't call an ambulance and say help me I'm breathing, they will take me to the nearest phyiatric unit. I need this to stop

[MyNameIsTerry]

Ah, right. So, more a heightened sense of consciousness of a process/function? And now you wish you could "unlearn" it and go back to how things were when you never thought about it or noticed it.

This sounds like an obsession. OCD can be divided into more obsession, more compulsion or mixed.

Does this make any more sense for you in terms of Sensorimotor OCD?

http://www.steveseay.com/sensorimotor-body-focused-obsessions-ocd/

Body-focused obsessions (also called sensorimotor obsessions (Keuler, 2011) or somatosensory obsessions) often feel intolerable and typically involve getting your attention “stuck” on thinking about or analyzing particular autonomic processes. Thoughts may become fixated on one’s breathing rate, heart rate, swallowing, blinking, eye “floaters”, or flickering of the visual field (Keuler, 2011). Sufferers frequently label the problem as conscious breathing/conscious swallowing/conscious blinking, obsessive breathing/obsessive swallowing/obsessive blinking, or compulsive breathing/compulsive swallowing/compulsive blinking. Although for most individuals these processes occur automatically below conscious awareness, individuals with this form of OCD find themselves acutely and frustratingly aware of their own bodily sensations.

Looking again at one of the links I posted, it could easily fall into Sensorimotor OCD:

http://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/when-automatic-bodily-processes-become-conscious-how-to-disengage-from-sens

Examples of Common Sensorimotor Obsessions

Sensorimotor obsessions often involve one or more of the following:
breathing [whether breathing is shallow or deep, or the focus is on some other sensation of breathing]
blinking [how often one blinks or the physical requirement to blink]
swallowing/salivation [how frequently one swallows, the amount of salivation produced, or the sensation of swallowing itself]
movement of the mouth and/or tongue during speech
pulse/heartbeat [awareness of pulse or heartbeat, particularly at night while trying to fall asleep]
eye contact [unlike social anxiety-based concerns, this form involves awareness of the eye contact itself or which eye one is looking at when staring into the eyes of another person]
visual distractions [e.g. paying attention to “floaters”, the particulate matter that is drifting within the eye that is most visible when staring at a blank wall or awareness of subtle movements of the eyes, such as saccadic eye movements]
awareness of specific body parts [e.g. perception of the side of one’s nose while trying to read or, as in the cases of a young boy and older man, a hyper-awareness of particular body parts such as their feet or fingers respectively]

[PanchoGoz]

This is more common than you think. Because you are so scare you will never be able to stop noticing your breathing, it causes you immense fear. You're not actually scared of it, you're scared of the fact you can't escape from it, the root of a lot of anxieties.
If you actually sit down and try to concentrate on your breathing for a while as much as you can, your mind will do the opposite and will lose interest in it. Your mind will wonder to other things. This shows that it is your fear perpetuating this state and you need to turn round and face it. Even pretend that you are really enjoying the sensation of your breath (even if you don't enjoy it at all) Just pretend and say "ooh I could do this forever". It's a bit like scaring away a bully, if you show it you're not scared, and actually engage in the bullying, the bully will be confused and leave you alone as it's not getting any negativity from you.
It is really scary but when you flip it round your brain will eventually get bored of it and you'll be free :) all things must pass!

[Plaidlaid]

Gosh, I feel you. As PanchoGoz said, this is more common than you think. I do not have a constant fixation on breathing, but often breathing seems difficult and forced and I'm scared that I wont be able to do it, and I have to inhale deeply, stop for a moment and then slowly exhale. Then repeat a few times. Usually it helps me calm down a bit, the feeling of expanded lungs kinda grounds me, I feel that there they are, they work, all is fine. Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to tell you that you are definitely not alone. Please hold on!

[LiveAboveIt]

I have struggled with this very same obsession. This used to be my main obsession and I do remember how scary and horrid it felt in the beginning. Pancho gave great advice, that was how I got rid of mine. Its your fear of it that fuels it and the fear of not being able to escape.

Follow Pancho's advice and it will eventually subside, you just need to be patient. Once you can lower/eliminate the anxiety over it, the constant fixation and need to control it will follow.

I know it seems impossible and you probably fear that you will be stuck with it forever, but you won't, I promise!

This helped me when I was going through this.


Wow, I feel terrible that I haven't found this thread sooner. Everybody please read my entire post thoroughly (ENTIRE POST). I will provide insight on exactly what it is that's happening to you and how to solve this problem.

First off lets go over exactly what it is that's happening here. Before you began to have this issue, your mind functioned in what seemed to be a completely normal manner (it is still functioning completely normal - I will explain). You used to go about your day with your mind drifting from reality to daydreaming and back to reality. In the past, when something was stressing you out, it would sit in the back of your mind and cause elevated stress/anxiety levels. You would watch TV or try to do something to get your mind off it. This would help at times but it never completely got rid of what was bothering you. Your anxiety levels would temporarily subside until you went back to thinking about your problem and the stress would come on again.

So now think about a stressful situation you've had in the past. Think about how you went about solving that problem and removing the stress. There are two ways to do this successfully.

1) Take action to fix the problem (Example: Lost Job > Feel Stressed > Find New Job > Stress Alleviated)

2) Reassess the way your mind is perceiving a situation (Example: Divorced by Spouse > You Feel Stressed and Believe You Will Never Be Happy Again > Realize This is Not True By Any Means and Things Will Be Fine > Stress Alleviated)

(we will be focusing on method #2)

Now lets see where this breathing situation falls within all of this. The first moment you breathed manually, it slightly surprised you. It was surprising that you lived your entire life not realizing you can breathe manually. Then you intentionally wanted to stop focusing on your breathing and get back to your regular flow of thoughts. This was not so simple. The more you tried, the more difficult it seemed. This vicious cycle repeated itself until your anxiety/stress levels were elevated. Your mind then perceived manual breathing as a threat. Each of us have a part of our brain that assesses threats (known as the fight-or-flight center). Whenever a threat is perceived by the brain, this area of the brain takes over and raises your anxiety levels. We need this part of our brain to survive. If a lion leaps in front of you, it is this part of your brain that has you sprinting away as fast as possible. This part of the brain is what is at the epicenter of your breathing problem.

So now that you have a better idea of what it is that's happening, I will now teach you how to get past this. I know what you're thinking, maybe this won't work. Maybe what he is about to say worked for some people, but it won't work for me. Well, let me assure you - I, as well as thousands of psychologists and cognitive behavior therapists, are one hundred percent sure this will work if you follow through with it and trust us. If you end up having issues taking these steps on your own, I would strongly suggest seeing a cognitive behavior therapist to assist you with this process. You won't be the first person to come to them with this problem, and certainly not the last either.

Okay, first off I would like you to start things off with a simple exercise. I want you to grab your favorite book or open a webpage with some content you are interested in reading. Now before you begin to read this material, I need you to make a conscious effort to focus on your breathing throughout. That's right, focus on your breathing while reading. Every now and then if you forget about your breathing, shift your focus back to it. The longer you can focus on your breathing while reading the better. See if you can do it for an entire chapter!

Now your going to realize something when doing this. You keep forgetting about breathing and have to bring your focus back to it. Why is this? Well, it's how the brain works. The mind tends to drift on it's own making it difficult to stay focused on your breathing (ironic huh?). But I want you to keep trying to focus on your breathing, and not just when reading. Watch a movie and try to pay attention to your breathing throughout. Get comfortable with the idea that you want to focus on your breathing.

Now after doing this for a while (a few days) I want you to start trying to take full clean breathes while you are focusing on your breathing. See if every minute or so you can fully inhale and completely exhale. Believe it or not most people's breathing mechanics are poor. By focusing on your breathing and making sure you take deep breathes you are actually promoting your health.

Something else you may notice with this exercise, you can focus on breathing while doing things. That's right guys, the brain can multitask incredibly. You can focus on your breath and also do everything you did before - trust me. Personally, I enjoy focusing on my breathing as much as possible. I honestly wish I could remember to bring my focus to it more often. You must view it as a relaxing and enjoyable experience.

You see the issue right now is your brain associates manual breathing with danger. As if it somehow is threatening to your wellbeing. Your goal is to be comfortable with having your attention on your breath. And you will achieve this the more you work toward it.

Now the next thing I want you to do is learn mindfulness meditation. Books are available on it and guided meditations are also available on youtube. This is a game changer folks. Mindful meditation will teach you how to reach complete mental calmness (nothing to do with religious beliefs so don't worry about conflicting with your faith). It is a truly incredible feeling. This step can not be skipped.

Now the last thing I want you to do. This step goes a little deeper. Your life up until this point has probably been plagued with anxiety to a certain extent. I want you to realize something here. This ordeal could end up having a tremendously positive effect on your life. You now have a better understanding on how anxiety can put your life in a chokehold. You should view getting past this hurdle as just scratching the surface on life. Let this motivate you to learn as much possible about the incredible mind you possess and live a more fulfilling life.

I genuinely hope I have helped some readers out there with handling this. Take care everybody!

Source: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Anxiety/Cant-stop-thinking-about-my-breathing-/show/2102444


There are TONS of people that go through this, a simple google search of "cant stop thinking about my breathing" will pull up link after link of forum posts. You are not alone and this is totally curable.

[Abeechx]

Thanks so much for your reply it means a lot. I've read through everything and I will try my best to work on that when I feel anxious. I have googled many things to do with obsessing over breathing but like I say all I find is people who are scared they can't! Where as I am scared I can and feel trapped. It's so odd but also so terrifying. It's like I keep trying to stop it and hold my breathe until my body forces me and it sets off
My adrenalin. I wish we didn't have to do it as humans! I sound crazy but did you have feelings like this?? Maybe this is because I'm way too hyperaware of the function that it's freaking me out. I want my lungs to stop working but I don't want to die?!! As it's impossible I get so scared that I am in fact trapped for ever

[Holds1325]

This sounds like classic compulsory OCD tendencies. Not saying you have OCD but it sounds pretty similar.

Those that suffer OCD tend to have this feeling that something MUST BE DONE in order to fulfill a thought and/or feeling so that the thought and/or feeling leaves or stops bothering them at least.

I also want to point out that yes, you are hyperaware of your breathing, there's too much focus. But guess what, you're breathing now? Think about the outside, think about your life, think about something that makes you happen, as you read this very sentence you took a breath I'm guessing. Shift your thoughts elsewhere, this obsession is all it is, an obsession.

Perhaps try some exercise? work your way up, its absolutely impossible (unless your swimming) to hold your breath while doing something rigorous and even when swimming you still have to breathe while doing it.

Also, it would probably be best if you not google this anymore as that only fuels the obsession rather than putting it out.

[Jeng1082]

I don't know if you're still dealing with this issue but I have been obsessing about my breathing for the last seven months and having extreme anxiety. When I read this post it's pretty much the same with how I feel. I keep thinking how am I going to stop obsessing I never obsessed before. It just came one night and stuck and now I feel so trapped with it. Mind keeps saying I'm gonna freak out bc I have to keep breathing and I can't stop it so how am I going to not be anxious of it. Sounds crazy to me rationally but I can't make it go.