View Full Version : Still on Lymph Nodes
So... still worrying about Hodgkin's. I have a tiny lymph node on my neck. At the bottom and on the side. Its not behind the collar bone, so its not one of those really scary ones.
Walk-in doctor called it dinky and said I should be concerned if there were multiple nodes.
I called my doctors office because they saw me the day before it swelled. I asked the nurse if the flu shot could have done it, and she said no which contradicts a lot of stuff I've seen. I told her about the size... which is less than a centimeter. If I don't poke it, it definitely shrinks, but I never go longer than a week without poking it.
Anyway... the nurse was nice enough to leave my doctor a note about it and she called me back and said, "The doctor says you're fine. He saw you. You have no symptoms. The node isn't even technically enlarged."
So I felt better, but mostly I'm just concerned about the location. I mean there are alot of nodes in the neck, but I am not sure if its ok that its lower on my neck.
The interesting thing is that it is on the same side as the flu shot.
How can I know I don't have Lymphoma? I hate that no one is concerned but me.
Worried1234
15-04-16, 15:17
Hello Annoyed,
I too have a rogue node! It's in my neck around halfway down. The first doc who saw it said I could come back for bloods and happened to mention lymphoma (I must clarify he did say I would have marble sized lumps and not to worry!). The second doc said it was completely normal and rolled eyes at the mention of the dreaded L word. She said its normal to be able to feel them if you have been sick, and I would have thought a shot would do the same.
I haven't poked mine since...well since this morning! But I am definitely going to leave it alone for a few days and see if it goes down.
The long and short of it is that if it was lymphoma you would have a fast growing lump that would not change size, and most likely would not feel great with it.
Relax, you are fine :)
How can I know I don't have Lymphoma?
Because medical professionals have ruled it out. It's as simple as that. If they can't reassure you, then it's up to you to continue to go to counseling and take your meds to help with the illness that's causing you to doubt and fixate on an irrational yet obviously persistent thought pattern. Frankly, nothing anyone on either anxiety forum can give you the answers or reassurance you seek. It's up to you to put it to rest.
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Do you mean not change size as it wouldn't decrease in size?
I measure mine with my finger. Its not even the width of my pointer finger, and that's with skin. Its not very thick. Its like a sausage really.
All doctors have told me not to worry unless its visible.
I also had bloods in December a month before it arose. They were perfect.
---------- Post added at 14:22 ---------- Previous post was at 14:21 ----------
Because medical professionals have ruled it out. It's as simple as that. If they can't reassure you, then it's up to you to continue to go to counseling and take your meds to help with the illness that's causing you to doubt and fixate on an irrational yet obviously persistent thought pattern. Frankly, nothing anyone on either anxiety forum can give you the answers or reassurance you seek. It's up to you to put it to rest.
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
I know Fish. I know.
The worry comes from my GP not knowing where it is. I keep telling myself that its a weird location. But then again, its not even really enlarged according to my doctor after I described it.
I am hoping the Luvox starts working soon. Its almost been two weeks.
The worry comes from my GP not knowing where it is.
Could that possibly be because it's not there and/or something to be concerned with? :shrug: In truth, the worry is coming from an irrational thought process and has nothing at all to do with your doctor ;)
Positive thoughts
Interestingly... my doctor didn't even want to see me. He has never felt it. I described it over the phone to a nurse, but since my doctor saw me the day prior, he said its nothing.
He is confident enough that he doesn't even want to make money off of me. That's what I find interesting. He told me to not make an appointment unless it is visible or I have symptoms. Both of which are not present.
My concern is that certain nodes get enlarged in certain situations. This one I feel like is from a flu shot. Or a mouth sore. But I see websites saying that these are commonly enlarged in Hodgkin's.
Interestingly... my doctor didn't even want to see me. He has never felt it. I described it over the phone to a nurse, but since my doctor saw me the day prior, he said its nothing.
He is confident enough that he doesn't even want to make money off of me. That's what I find interesting. He told me to not make an appointment unless it is visible or I have symptoms. Both of which are not present.
My concern is that certain nodes get enlarged in certain situations. This one I feel like is from a flu shot. Or a mouth sore. But I see websites saying that these are commonly enlarged in Hodgkin's.
Guess the web knows more then medical science eh? ;)
Good luck and as always
Positive thoughts
The problem isn't the web knows more. Its that I think I know more. And it sucks. The web is merely my investigation tool to confirm my bias.
How do you not overly worry Fish? Surely you had lumps and bumps before the whole SCC thing. How do you just go on with life?
I feel like my worrying is insulting to people with genuine medical concerns. I'm 26 and have never been admitted to a hospital.
Worried1234
15-04-16, 18:52
Annoyed-if it makes you feel any better I just poked my sister's node and it feels exactly the same as mine!
Chances of all 3 of us having Lymphoma?
Like 0.000012%!!
Xx
For me, it's not insulting.... It's just incredibly sad. Do you know how many people, including myself that would be jumping for joy being told all is well?
Sometimes, HA sufferers sound as though they want something to be wrong just to say "I told you so". In fact there have been posts to that effect I've read here.
Anyway... this is just a web forum... words on a screen. Ultimately, it comes down to the individual to make the efforts to get well. Many have and moved on and sadly, many will or may never do so end up living their entire lives worrying and end up with an HA sufferers tomb stone like this...
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/de/0f/5a/de0f5a01018f4f44abe206eb64cb4d49.jpg
Positive thoughts
Thanks Fish. That was a good post. One of your best in my opinion.
I really do fall under the "Told you so" mentality. My anxiety has been correct 0% of the time thus far. Most of the time my predictions are laughed at.
It really is sad though. My fiancee is the best person in the world for putting up with me. She said that I put myself through more suffering than people that are actually sick. Whether that is true or not is unknown, but the suffering is completely pointless.
Uncertainty is a big thing too. I bet lumps and bumps are super common. There's a thread here confirming that. But I need to know 100%. Which is impossible.
You asked how I refrain from worrying. I do worry just like most people but I deal like most people do.
For me it's a little different because I actually have faced serious illness and death several times and while I certainly love life and living, I don't fear death.
What I find most sad is that living in extreme fear and many here do is akin to being buried above ground. I read about people fearing leaving their children and yet they spend all day logged onto the internet and forums searching and looking for reassurance. IMO, they've already left their family.
I've dealt with some depression and "scanxiety". My daughter suffers from depression and anxiety, my ex suffered from severe depression disorder and my mother had some major issues as well so I have a taste of what it's like. I sought therapy and have meds if needed but I also work my ass off to maintain a positive attitude. I refuse to let something I can control take my life away and I can control what I think and how I react to it! I'll be damned if I will allow it to take my life.
Anyway... just ranting. I just hope for the many who are suffering, that maybe a few of my words resonate and they take the dragon by the horns and heal. Life is much too short and precious to spend it chasing the wind.
Positive thoughts
Worried1234
15-04-16, 19:44
Fishmanpa-I spent yesterday with a friend whose baby has been very unwell and faced more than most people do through their whole lives. She, like me, sometimes worries the same thing will happen to other people they love but she has a great attitude. She says she just reminds herself to live in the present whenever she worries about what the future holds for her/her child.
It's good advice, as is yours.
I, for one, plan to go offline. I am not constantly looking for reassurance but enough that it occupies a space in my head that I need for my family and my own life. I am writing a book, I think I will spend the surfing time doing this instead of googling.
Thanks for all your kind responses to various posts, but most of all the past few, as they've really made me think about how I am wasting some of the previous time I have.
Stay well x
It true how much time I am wasting. If I died now, my regret would be not spending that time on something useful.
I should write a book on my Health Anxiety. It would be a comedic book to almost everyone.
"Oh so this guy thought he had a rare disease that only has affected 9 people. How strange."
Go get a blood test.
Had one right before I noticed the node. It was perfect.
Component Standard Range Your Value Flag
WBC 4.2 - 10.0 K/uL 7.8
RBC 4.50 - 6.30 M/uL 5.48
Hgb 14.0 - 18.0 g/dL 16.2
Hematocrit(HCT) 42.0 - 54.0 % 49.2
MCV 81.0 - 101.0 fL 89.9
MCH 27.0 - 34.0 pg 29.6
MCHC 31.5 - 36.0 g/dL 32.9
RDW 11.5 - 14.5 % 11.6
Platelets 140 - 440 K/uL 235
Mean Platelet Volume 7.0 - 12.0 fL 7.6
Neutrophils 37.0 - 73.0 % 64.0
Lymphocytes 20.0 - 53.0 % 26.0
Monocytes 2.5 - 12.0 % 7.0
Eosinophils 0.5 - 10.0 % 3.0
Basophils 0.0 - 3.0 % 0.0
ABS Neutrophils 1.40 - 6.50 K/uL 5.10
ABS Lymphocytes 1.2 - 3.4 K/uL 2.0
ABS Monocytes 0.00 - 0.80 K/uL 0.50
ABS Eosinophils 0.0 - 0.7 K/uL 0.2
ABS Basophils 0.0 - 0.2 K/uL 0.0
Also had LDH which measures tumor activity. It was in range. So probably no tumor at that point.
Lactic Dehydrogenase(LDH) 100 - 220 U/L 147
ESR for inflammation. Perfect.
WESTERGREN SED RATE 0 - 15 MM/HR 2
Chest Xray. Perfect.
IMPRESSION:
No acute airspace infiltrate or consolidation
:whistles:
Ok, so then what are you worried about? lol
Ok, so then what are you worried about? lol
That's what I'm trying to figure out. :shades:
I literally saw an Oncologist a month before I found the node. He said I was one of the healthiest patients he ever had. Only reason I saw him was I thought I had CML.
So yea... maybe I'm a bit crazy.
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