anxiety is up ... if you worry about heart issues, don't read this.

[swgrl09]

Been a bit of a tough week this week. I've been doing well overall, really committing to my yoga practice and also enjoying the nice weather.

Well ... Wednesday in the middle of the morning my dad called me at work to let me know that a cousin of mine was found dead in her bed. She was only about 50. She and I were actually pretty close once I became an adult because she hired me to work for her and was really a mentor to me for a few years. She was pretty young, healthy, but turns out had a heart attack. I've been really shaken up and had to leave work when I heard.

The next day my grandmother was scheduled to go in for open heart surgery. She's 80 but pretty healthy for an 80 year old so they figured it would be safe to do it. She came through, but has had a few complications and is in the ICU still. Last I heard she had filled with fluid ... so I'm worrying :wacko:

I guess if people could just keep her in their thoughts I would appreciate it. Thanks everybody.

[swgrl09]

Haven't gotten any news from my dad about her ... he was supposed to update me last night but didn't. I figured he must have been tired. If there was bad news, he would have called.

[pulisa]

What an awful week. I sincerely hope that you receive some positive news re your grandmother very soon-the waiting for news must be dreadful.

Am very sorry to hear the news about your cousin. It must have been a horrible shock and I'm not surprised you had to leave work.

Really hope you hear news very soon xx

[swgrl09]

Thanks, Pulisa. It has been hard. I'm trying to keep up with yoga and meditation to balance me out. My dad said she has been a little more alert today, so that's a good sign. Because she is in the ICU, only immediate family can visit, and even then visiting is difficult. We are going to the services for my cousin tonight ... I'm dreading it, I know it is good to go but I want to just hide from it.

[pulisa]

It'll be an ordeal for you but maybe in time you will be able to look back on tonight and be glad that you decided to go?

Your grandmother must be a very brave and strong lady. She's been through a lot but is obviously very resilient. Hopefully she is over the most critical post-op period now.

Take care of yourself and I hope you will find plenty of support from your loved ones xx

[swgrl09]

Thank you, it was tough but we had lots of laughs too remembering my cousin ... she had an amazing personality and was tons of fun to be around.

Yeah, you know my grandmother is pretty hardcore ... not many 80 year olds can go through open-heart surgery. My dad said she was alert enough to nod, make hand gestures, but still has the breathing tube in. When she was awake, she kept gesturing for everybody to go home and stop worrying about her lol so that's a good sign.

Thanks for your support, Pulisa :hugs:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Really sorry to hear about your cousin, swgrl. :hugs::flowers: Talking about the good times is a good way to get though these events and remembering the love & friendship rather than suffering the grief through them. That will always come but if you can think of someone and find a smile on your lips, it helps.

Your grandmother sounds like a right trooper! It sounds like if she had recovered enough at that point to talk she would be telling you all off for worrying about her. I hope she continues in her recovery and is swiftly out bossing everyone around. :winks:

[swgrl09]

Thank you for your kind words, Terry. My anxiety is up today and I'm trying to accept and ride the wave instead of beat myself up over it.

My grandma is a trooper, that's for sure. She's from my Italian side of the family. Her parents came here through Ellis island in the early 1900s so she was raised doing farm work, etc. She's hanging in there.

[pulisa]

Every day is a day towards regaining more strength. What a very brave lady. That's a huge op for an elderly lady to undergo.

Your anxiety is bound to be more prominent after such a traumatic week. Please look after yourself and pace yourself in the coming week? You've got such a lot going on xx

[swgrl09]

Yeah, her genes must be good because her parents lived to their upper 90s and she's pretty healthy otherwise.

I'm hoping for a calm week. Things have been rough at work ... My great supervisor announced she's leaving for a director position ... Great for her, but we'll miss her so much!! There have been a few others who resigned last week and a lot is changing. We've been really busy lately. Hopefully this week is slower ...