Hoping someone can relate to my vision anxiety and general panic story

[Nicholebear]

Sorry for the long post. Below in quotes are someone else's words that perfectly describe my symptoms that have triggered my anxiety. But aside from those I would also like to discuss with anyone else that feels the same way I do or is going through a similar situation with their anxiety:

"1. Sometimes I will notice small little pin pricks of either white/light or black in my vision. They happen in both eyes, different spots, last for only a second or two, and then disappear. They're super tiny little dots and I only get them one at a time, I can't figure out why they happen or what causes them. They're completely random.

2. Sometimes I get spots that look bright or lighter colored than the surrounding area. It's sort of like an afterimage from a flash or something but instead of being a darker or shadowed type of spot, it's brighter. I can see through the spot and I've had them in both eyes (one at a time). Sometimes they only last a few seconds, other times a few minutes but they always happen one at a time and go away soon after. They seem to happen either when I'm outside or looking at a bright screen.

3. I occasionally see a "flash" or "spot" of blue., I looked up and for a brief maybe 1/4th of a second, saw a small blue spot in my vision, like everything in that area was tinted blue. But it went away so fast that it's almost like I imagined it.

4. Floaters that look like little o's or bubbles, all connected by strings and in both eyes (these are mainly just annoying, what do your floaters "

I started having these same eye symptoms in 2014. In the fall of 2013 I had my eyes checked and got new glasses, had the doctor looked at them everything seemed fine. Then in summer of 2014 I started seeing what is described. I started seeing them after I experienced extreme depression and anxiety from the birth control I was on. I switched pills in August 2014 and felt a lot better, but I still always worry about my eyes and still have bad health anxiety. I always worry about getting cancer and dying. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer spring 2015. She's beat her cancer and is on the road to full recovery. But I still worry about it. I'm hypersensitive to every change in my body and have convinced myself I've had everything from MS to skin cancer. But back to my eyes. Having experienced the symptoms for two years, I guess if anything were majorly wrong things would have gotten a lot worse by now. If anything they have improved and I only notice them if I think about them. Except for the random black dots. Those still happen randomly that freak me out and lead me to google forums like this for reassurance. I also have had aniscoria my whole life, along with being very very farsighted.
I'll also add that I am 23 female in good health. 4'11 124lbs. I could be in better shape but I'm far from overweight since I carry most of my weight in my butt. I can't say for certain if I have good blood pressure or not because it skyrockets every time I got to the doctor for my annual. Always get super shaky and my heart starts racing. The doctors know me though and can tell I'm borderline panicking so I guess they assume it's much lower when I'm not in that state. I believe I experienced my first panic attack this past Christmas Eve. I had to put in a ton of hours of work to get commission for Christmas presents and head deadlines all the way up to Christmas Eve! I was working all morning then got off that afternoon to spend it with my family and extended family. I was so stressed about getting everything done before then. But as I was sitting there opening presents. I had this intense panicy feeling in my chest that came out of nowhere. My heart started racing and my head felt light and distant. Something was not right. I played it off like nothing was wrong but I was terrified I was having a heart attack or something. After a few minutes the room I was in cleared and it was just me and my boyfriend. I told him I felt really weird and he got me some water that I sipped on after about 5-10 minutes the feeling passed and I felt normal again. About 20 mins later the feeling started to creep back, but I took deep breaths, told myself everything was fine, and it backed off. Afterward o thought maybe it was just bad indegestion from the super spicy bbq ribs we had eaten at Christmas Eve. But of course being the health anxiety nut I am, I took a visit to Dr. Google and found that it sounded exactly like a panic attack. Which made perfect sense. I haven't had once since then but there is always the thought of it happening again that scares me. This is affecting my life because I can't commit to work like I did for fear of it stressing me out to that point again. I just wish I didn't think the way I do. Always thinking about something bad happening to me. I'm only 23 and I think about death like I'm someone in their 80s. It's not fair, but I've always been like this since I was a child. I want help, but I don't want people to think I'm mental. Idk, I probably sound mental rambling about this online to strangers on a post about floaters, but I just felt compelled to share this in case anyone else is going through it. :/

[dizzy daisy]

Yes basically I get very similar to what you describe and have done so for many years. I also experience occular migraines. This is where you get a dot and then it turns into shimmery type line which eventually move out to the sides and disappear in around 15 minutes. It leaves me drained and sometimes a headache, nausea etc follow. It still frightens me.
Because of the anxiety I have about this I've not been to optician for years. I went when I initially had the occular migraine and was terrified something awful was wrong- it was 'just' migraine.
I'm going to see if I could get a drop in appointment today actually as I use a computer all day so I really need to look after my eyes. I'm really nervous because of these floaters and flashes and I've had fatigue again lately so of course my anxious personality immediately thinks the worst. Hopefully they can help to take that fear away at least.
As you've been checked recently I'm sure you'll be ok and there are as you've recognised other similar comments on here so we're not the only ones. My rational mind tells me that we can't be that unusual then and so nothing major is going on with our eyes.
Take care xx

[Nicholebear]

Yes basically I get very similar to what you describe and have done so for many years. I also experience occular migraines. This is where you get a dot and then it turns into shimmery type line which eventually move out to the sides and disappear in around 15 minutes. It leaves me drained and sometimes a headache, nausea etc follow. It still frightens me.
Because of the anxiety I have about this I've not been to optician for years. I went when I initially had the occular migraine and was terrified something awful was wrong- it was 'just' migraine.
I'm going to see if I could get a drop in appointment today actually as I use a computer all day so I really need to look after my eyes. I'm really nervous because of these floaters and flashes and I've had fatigue again lately so of course my anxious personality immediately thinks the worst. Hopefully they can help to take that fear away at least.
As you've been checked recently I'm sure you'll be ok and there are as you've recognised other similar comments on here so we're not the only ones. My rational mind tells me that we can't be that unusual then and so nothing major is going on with our eyes.
Take care xx

Thank you for your response, I truly appreciate it! Not sure if what I have is an ocular migraine but I also experience sometimes while looking at my phone, iPad, or computer a small bright spot that flashes right after I open my eyes from blinking. It lasts a few minutes then fades away. Not sure if it is a migrane or a floater passing by that quickly refracts the light and I only catch it after I blink because of the nature of floaters. They way they snap back after you blink.

[dizzy daisy]

I know what you mean. I get those flashes, floaters etc in addition to the occular migraine. It's a separate issue. I do also wonder if because I'm
Looking at screens all day it has something to do with that. They always cause me to panic as I think it's the start of a migraine- when the zig zaggy lines don't appear I'm relieved for a second as I know it not migraine, but then, like you I start to worry about what these little flashes/ floaters could indicate ha ha.
I used to work in an extremely bright office. Everything was white, walls, desks and the lights were very bright too. Even people who didn't have issues with migraine were getting headache. I noticed my occular migraine increased and I noticed the flashes/ floaters a lot more. I decided to wear sunglasses in the office which helped lots and cut the migraines back too. The worst thing is it made me focus on this eye issue and I developed a fear of going to the optician. Silly I know, but that's anxiety for you.
I have seen similar posts on here though and to my knowledge no of them had been told this was anything serious so I guess we both need to take some comfort in that. Xx

[Nicholebear]

I know what you mean. I get those flashes, floaters etc in addition to the occular migraine. It's a separate issue. I do also wonder if because I'm
Looking at screens all day it has something to do with that. They always cause me to panic as I think it's the start of a migraine- when the zig zaggy lines don't appear I'm relieved for a second as I know it not migraine, but then, like you I start to worry about what these little flashes/ floaters could indicate ha ha.
I used to work in an extremely bright office. Everything was white, walls, desks and the lights were very bright too. Even people who didn't have issues with migraine were getting headache. I noticed my occular migraine increased and I noticed the flashes/ floaters a lot more. I decided to wear sunglasses in the office which helped lots and cut the migraines back too. The worst thing is it made me focus on this eye issue and I developed a fear of going to the optician. Silly I know, but that's anxiety for you.
I have seen similar posts on here though and to my knowledge no of them had been told this was anything serious so I guess we both need to take some comfort in that. Xx

Just curious but do you also get visual snow too? I get it usually if I'm looking at a busy pattern, rugs, small tile floors..
Also when you look at an amsler grid, do any of the lines seem off? Something else that triggered my anxiety was looking at one on my iPad and some of the lines seemed a little off. The grid would look uniform if I slightly unfocused my gaze from the center dot. It doesn't look anything like the pictures of what advanced macular degeneration look like, but I went several weeks obsessing over it. The white-on-black ones show nearly no distortion and the black on white ones just show a very slight single-line distortion of it very slightly bending in a small spot in the bottom right quadrant. I've also read that people see all kinds of thing on those grids and have perfectly healthy eyes. Especially those who experience visual snow

[Varun]

Hey, I experience the same things which you have said in 1st point. :ohmy:

[QUOTE]"1. Sometimes I will notice small little pin pricks of either white/light or black in my vision like a darker or shadowed type of spot. They happen in both eyes, different spots, last for only a second or two, and then disappear. They're super tiny little dots and I only get them one at a time, I can't figure out why they happen or what causes them. They seem to happen either when I'm outside or looking at a bright screen. They're completely random.

Sometimes there will be a numerous number of very very tiny bubbles which move here and there when I look clearly at the clear sky.

So, is there any danger which might happen to my right eye? I also did regular consultation i.e., eye-checkup from an Eye-Specialist hospital, and there, I asked the Doctor, that is there any threat to my eye, as I am experiencing a lot of errors in my vision, then he looked at my eyes through an instrument which was throwing a bright led light on my eye, and then he said, all clear, and I shouldn't be taking much tension for it. At that time, I felt relief, :huh: but as you said, that you also went for check-ups for many a time, and your doctor also say there is no problem with your eye, is it true that it is not a big problem or threat which would cause tear in the eye, and will then lead to retinal detachment? :unsure: :emot-crying: I act in the same manner, which you do, even after many research, I again waste my time seeking help for my eye. As I am unsure, whether my eyes are safe or not.. :(

I am 18M, want to pursue my career in Navy, so I am very concern about my health and especially my eye and it's sight.

[Varun]

Ok, I got it, the answer which was posted by one in this thread "Vision, please read?" thanks for posting a thread on this topic, as I couldn't have been here, if I had not find your post in google search. Now I am sure that it just happens in common for all. :) If I had any problem with my eye, I would update here, so that you all can get an idea in advance. and take preventive steps for it.

[Nicholebear]

Ok, I got it, the answer which was posted by one in this thread "Vision, please read?" thanks for posting a thread on this topic, as I couldn't have been here, if I had not find your post in google search. Now I am sure that it just happens in common for all. :) If I had any problem with my eye, I would update here, so that you all can get an idea in advance. and take preventive steps for it.

I think the small bubbles you are describing are floaters. I used to see them all the time but now my brain is pretty used to them and I don't see them anymore unless I'm looking at a very bright surface (a white wall outside or in the sunlight) and squinting. They either look like tiny "o"s or little strings/clumps of them stuck together.

[Needsupport]

Hi Nichole,
As you read my post, my health anxiety tends to focus on another topic (and I actually have an OCD diagnosis) but I also know what it is like to worry about other health topics (however, they are more controlled since I do not have OCD about them). I don't know if I am giving you the right advice but this is what has worked for me. I see my eye/skin/gyno and regular doctor as often as is recommended. I used to struggle with the glare from my laptop or TV if the lights weren't on. I still do to an extent. I was seeing my eye doctor twice a year and expressed my concerns to her. She said to see her once a year. I think with health anxiety there has to be a limit. Meaning, I don't think it's healthy to say "I have health anxiety so I won't see my doctor at all" but I also don't think it's healthy to go all the time. With exposure response prevention, I learned there's a hierarchy. For instance, if someone is going to the doctor every month- you start by going over 2 months, then every 3, 4 and so on. You habituate to the anxiety- much easier said than done. I don't know what your doctor has told you about this but my suggestion would be expressing your concerns, having a check up and NOT going back more often than you need to.

Also, regarding the term "mental", I don't really know what you mean by that and I am sure you meant no offense, but I have a diagnosed mental illness and it hurt a little to read that, since I did not choose to have OCD, or to be "mental". I know it isn't personal and you meant nothing by it so no offense taken but just wanted to bring it up. Please do not use terms like that.

[Varun]

No, I don't mean that, I mean tiny black spots which are now about 4-5 visible to me, when I look at clear sky, which are in same pattern, whenever I move my eye, but they disappear within 2-3 secs after I stop moving my right eye.Anyway, I am again going for a checkup at evening.

[Nicholebear]

Hi Nichole,
As you read my post, my health anxiety tends to focus on another topic (and I actually have an OCD diagnosis) but I also know what it is like to worry about other health topics (however, they are more controlled since I do not have OCD about them). I don't know if I am giving you the right advice but this is what has worked for me. I see my eye/skin/gyno and regular doctor as often as is recommended. I used to struggle with the glare from my laptop or TV if the lights weren't on. I still do to an extent. I was seeing my eye doctor twice a year and expressed my concerns to her. She said to see her once a year. I think with health anxiety there has to be a limit. Meaning, I don't think it's healthy to say "I have health anxiety so I won't see my doctor at all" but I also don't think it's healthy to go all the time. With exposure response prevention, I learned there's a hierarchy. For instance, if someone is going to the doctor every month- you start by going over 2 months, then every 3, 4 and so on. You habituate to the anxiety- much easier said than done. I don't know what your doctor has told you about this but my suggestion would be expressing your concerns, having a check up and NOT going back more often than you need to.

Also, regarding the term "mental", I don't really know what you mean by that and I am sure you meant no offense, but I have a diagnosed mental illness and it hurt a little to read that, since I did not choose to have OCD, or to be "mental". I know it isn't personal and you meant nothing by it so no offense taken but just wanted to bring it up. Please do not use terms like that.

Sorry really didn't mean to offend. I just meant that I probably sound silly or irrational expecting strangers to comfort me or think that my situation is unique and worth taking the time to read and help out.

[claireypoo]

Just seen this thread, I posted without reading again!

Your vision trouble seems very much like mine! I just posted a huge moan about it.

It can be horrible can't it, because you can't easily stop looking at your own vision!

X hope we all do better with this soon

[Jolanguage]

Just curious but do you also get visual snow too? I get it usually if I'm looking at a busy pattern, rugs, small tile floors..
Also when you look at an amsler grid, do any of the lines seem off? Something else that triggered my anxiety was looking at one on my iPad and some of the lines seemed a little off. The grid would look uniform if I slightly unfocused my gaze from the center dot. It doesn't look anything like the pictures of what advanced macular degeneration look like, but I went several weeks obsessing over it. The white-on-black ones show nearly no distortion and the black on white ones just show a very slight single-line distortion of it very slightly bending in a small spot in the bottom right quadrant. I've also read that people see all kinds of thing on those grids and have perfectly healthy eyes. Especially those who experience visual snow


HI I know this is an old post but I'm curious if you are still seeing the slight distortion in Amsler Grid or did it progress?

"The white-on-black ones show nearly no distortion and the black on white ones just show a very slight single-line distortion of it very slightly bending in a small spot in the bottom right quadrant. I've also read that people see all kinds of thing on those grids and have perfectly healthy eyes. Especially those who experience visual snow " - This is exactly what I'm seeing and you described it really welll. I'm obsessing about this for the past 3 months. I always look at amsler grid just to check of any progression.

Thanks