View Full Version : My Citalopram jounrey
:mad: Really worried as have had these pills a month now and have not dared take them due to previously being prescribed them three times during the past 13 years. Start up effects are pretty harsh for me and seem to last a long while before I am 100% perfect again on this meds. But I have decided to take the chickens route and only do 5mg's of a 30mg pill and then up each week, hoping to keep the start up effects at a min, whether this will work is a different matter,lol. So we shall see. I have normally had to go right up to 40mg but have had Lorazepam to help or Zopiclone and my GP will not help me this time, prolonging the start up. I have to admit I am bricking it!!!! But the bit of pill I took just now was so tiny and I can't see it giving me a huge panic attack right away!!! But I need to get on this meds as my depression is just getting worse and worse!!!! Fingers crossed it does the trick for the fourth time! xxxx
Has any one else taken it so slowly????
Hi Karen. I am like you, petrified of the side effects but desperate to get better. I have tried about 6 other antidepressants but have only ever got to day 3 or 4 before throwing in the towel. I've never been on A/D's before in my life and have been suffering this crippling anxiety and depression for 5 months now. In the end it got so bad that I knew I had to do something so I armed myself with diazepam and anti sickness pills and started on 10mg 15 days ago. It hasn't been easy but I am sticking with it because I know I simply have to if I want to get better. The start up effects are not pleasant but I think a lot of it is in our minds, we have read the leaflets and other people's accounts and horror stories and believe the same is going to happen to us, and then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I really hope you manage to stick with it this time, 5mg is a tiny dose and it is going to take a full 8 weeks to work up to the 40mg dose. Could you perhaps start on 10mg and work up from there? I'm not sure if going up a dose every week is wise either, doctors usually leave at least 2 weeks between increases I believe? Anyway whichever way you choose to do it we are all here to help and support you in your journey to recovery. Also why won't your Dr prescribe some benzos to help with the initial start up? That seems pretty unfair to me.
My old GP was always so supportive and would give me either Zopiclone or Lorazepam and then just tapered off when I was feeling betterl (which I did) but this GP, I have n now had me on Escitalopram (Lexapro) for 3 years and it never helped at all, so switched me back to Mirtazapine which I told him had made me a suicidal mess once before and now back to regular Citalopram. I feel so tired today just on the 5mg and weepy but have felt that way for a bit, so not the 5mg pill, but I do have some s light anxiety so just took the dogs out (Yorkshire terriers but one of them decided to try and bite some one,lol, I did warn him they think they are Rotties,lol) Only minor anxiety but still hate it full stop! And it will get worse every time I take that blasted pill for weeks. but yer, agree, it is our minds playing tricks too, xxxx
So cannot wait to feel miles better,not had much anxiety lately but just terrible depression. And it's normally anxiety I suffer with not the low mood! Odd!
It's got to be your brain telling you that because I'm sure 5mg wouldn't affect you that quickly. Of course, it's very easy to say that when every cell in your body is telling you otherwise - you truly believe it, and that's the tricks our anxious mind plays on us.
Have you had any CBT or other kind of therapy before?
I have but it never worked or helped. xxx Thanks darl xxx Not been feeling so great for a few days really,much worse than normal xxx
I know, its horrible isn't it? I'm suffering from increased anxiety at the moment, questioning everything I do and hoping it is just the meds going to work lol
Not felt too great all day but managed to take my son out to Mcdonalds and to a museum, I felt better after I ate something but have had mild anxiety all day and just feel yucky in general, tired too. Really dreading upping the dose in a week or two but I managed to get on Lexapro this way but had Lorazepam to help me then. I have Diazepam and a high dose of it but find it rubbish in comparison!!! Thanks, feel great right now but always do like clockwork after 4pm????? Had a nice day though which has helped :)
I'm glad to hear you managed to get out and felt better after eating.
I think the only thing that keeps most of us going is the 'evening reprieve' we seem to get. I know I look forward to it more than anything and if it wasn't for that small bit of normality I'd be in the loony bin by now. :wacko:
Woke up at 4am today and felt rubbish but apart from headache and feeling weepy, I am okish....gonna try and eat some toast in a sec and have done all my hair and make up, Diazepam running out so feeling panicky over that, true sign of addicton,lol. Just want to get on Citalopram and off the horrible, evil benzo's again!!!
Gonna just keep busy, and wish I could have a good bloomin cry but at my parents right now and my dad does not understand one tiny bit and tends to yell at me and stats blaming my American bf for all this who could not get a visa so had to back to USA last May which then turns into an almighty row...but hate my flat and feel so lonely there as my ex husband took my son away in November! I get anxiety just seeing his room and him not being there. Gonan try Zopiclone I hope for a few days instead of Valium as that seems to life my mood better. Lorazepam was so much better than Diazepam but GP will no longer prescribe after just writing endless scripts for the past three years for it!!! Then I had to see another doctor and she said OFF time!!!
You've had a really rough time and it's no wonder you are feeling anxious and depressed. But you are taking all the right steps to get better, and that's what counts so don't be too down on yourself.
You are doing great - taking your tablets, putting on your make up and hair and getting out there, so well done! You know from past experience that these meds take a long time to work but just remember, every tablet you take is one tablet closer to recovery even if full recovery is a way off yet. Even though they make you feel rotten they are slowly working away inside to make you well again, and happier days are waiting for you!
Thanks so much for your support xxxx Headache is chronic right now but have taken pills for it so no more for three hours. grrr. You forget how crap this all this is once you are well,lol. I felt better yesterday once I had some proper lunch xxx
Has your appetite been affected at all? Mine completely disappeared months ago and it hasn't come back. I've lost over 2st in weight since this started in November.
Stick with it Karen, I know how a lonely flat feels i'm in the same boat after a divorce and I wonder if I'm ever going to get a proper life back. As Mojo says you are doing well by keeping on being busy and not letting yourself go. Keep it up and you'll get there soon. I'm on nearly week 3 at 30mg and I still wake feeling rubbish which will either go late morning or stay with me for the rest of the day until the evening. I had a good weekend, saw my boys and some friends etc but it was a struggle getting out Friday night.
Rich
:bighug1:
It takes ages for me Rich to feel really well on it, usually about 4 months not two weeks like my doctor told me,lol.I am weird as as soon as it hits 4pm I am completely fine but feel weepy knowing tomorrow will be bad again, but right now normal apart from stressing myself out. I found going right up to 40mg totally sorted me out very quickly last time I was on it!!! I knew I was ok once I started waking up feeling normal.
Oh how I long for that feeling Karen. Just to wake up feeling "normal" instead of panicky, nauseated, sweating, heart pounding.... May it come to us all very soon.
It takes ages for me Rich to feel really well on it, usually about 4 months not two weeks like my doctor told me,lol.I am weird as as soon as it hits 4pm I am completely fine but feel weepy knowing tomorrow will be bad again, but right now normal apart from stressing myself out. I found going right up to 40mg totally sorted me out very quickly last time I was on it!!! I knew I was ok once I started waking up feeling normal.
Yes I do not know where those ridiculous statements come from. It normally takes me about 10 weeks to start feeling a lot better. I can completely sympathise with you regarding the rest bite that evenings provide however I haven't been feeling that just lately. The gym definitely works for me but I know like you say the next day we are going to be back at square one and that is very upsetting. Oh how I hate the mornings!
I wonder if they say it takes 2 - 4 weeks at the correct dose to make you feel better so if you started on 20mg and 20mg was your dose the tablets work much quicker?
Keep strong!
Rich :bighug1:
---------- Post added at 18:40 ---------- Previous post was at 18:38 ----------
Oh how I long for that feeling Karen. Just to wake up feeling "normal" instead of panicky, nauseated, sweating, heart pounding.... May it come to us all very soon.
I second that, mine has got a bit better but I still have a rumbly tummy, feeling sick and have a feeling of dread. ITS HORRIBLE!
:bighug1:
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