Why Am I Still Feeling This Way(scared)

[looking4answers]

Its funny,I have been so brave lately,even my last post reflects this.I have tried as hard as I can to have a I don't care attitude.I go on and do whether I feel like it or not,but this morning I woke and worried all day .Went back to counting my pulse and scared that my breathing is not ok although it seems ok..I went and fed the animals with a minimal breathing hard.I came in and did things I normally do and have watched my pulse all day .I just don't feel right .I think the wife and I both have been a little ill with virus lately but even that I have handled ok.This afternoon I took a bath and felt ok ,which is unusual for me as I usually worry that my heart will beat too fast..I got out and started doing somethings on the computer.My wife didn't eat any lunch which i urged her to do and she didn't then took a bath.She called for me as if something was wrong ,she has done this before.She doesn't eat and gets to weak in the shower.I went for something sweet and gave it to her suprized that I was panicking as usual but then laid down and my heart was beating hard and I felt a little weak all over and then rested a bit and went to feed the animals outside so that I could let them get ready for the night.I felt weak and clumbsy and just out of sorts ,I got out of breath and came and laid back down depressed,I didnt want to look at anything on the internet or think of anything.I guess my blood pressure went up and I still felt weak and well it scared me I suppose.I am not sure that its just anxiety .My heart seems ok and my breathing a little hard but over all I seem ok but starting to feel depressed and scared.Is this all over the episode with her laying in the bathroom floor or could there be something really wrong with me and I just don't know it?Now I feel as though i just want to go to sleep and don't feel good.Could that inncodent caused me to go into a little anxiety depression or could there be something wrong with me .Please reply im really nervous here ,worried about her and myself and also have a weird headache.

[looking4answers]

I have a friend down the road that his wife is head nurse at the hospital here and swears she knows for a fact there couldn't be anything wrong with me.He says if you think you are sick then you will be sick and if you think you are healthy and happy then you will be...Ok so why do I feel so bad everyday.I wake with this sensation or that pain or breathing funny or headache or whatever.When I went to the doctor they never even asked for blood work and I asked my nurse friend about it and she said they probably didnt think i had anything that suggested that I needed blood work.Sometimes I almost feel normal and there are times like tonight I feel so bad and tired that I feel I could die.I had a bad dream last night and woke today and had headache all day and just didnt feel good.I feel very down and alone and wonder what am I doing here in the remote place.I want so bad to be happy here I have so much to be happy about so why do I feel so bad is it my emotions that are running away from me or could it be something causing me to feel depressed like an illness?