anxiousbelle
17-04-16, 18:07
The last three weeks have been hell but I have managed to get through them as it has been easter, and have just stayed in bed. Im in my final term now of school, and really should've been revising but that did not happen at all. I still have 8 weeks until my first exam so its not the be all and end all, but it would've helped if I had.
The problem is my anxiety has really ramped up to the point I cannot drive without lightheaded/dizziness and I feel unsafe, so I have just stopped, and this is my usual way of getting to school, and my way of escaping when its all to much. My dad and brother are going to take it in turns to take me/pick me up, but it limits the flexibility I have and makes me more nervous (even though driving is too much) I feel very trapped.
Leaving my house is making me so lightheaded and dizzy that I feel like I am going to die constantly, even in the house I feel this, but its really intense when I am away from my safe place. I find being in school overwhelming, with feeling trapped in lessons. All my teachers know, I sit close to the door, and with people I trust, I always have water and they allow me to leave when I need to. However, at the moment that isn't helping one bit. Instead, I just feel lost and alone, and terrified. I feel like there is no possible way I am going to be able to get through tomorrow, especially not panic free.
I get so embarrassed having panic attacks in front of people, and although I have friends they do not like my panic attacks, and kind of shy away from me, which in the end makes it worse, and I end up having to escape. My mum has contacted my head of year who is aware of the situation, and is allowing me to go into school, but not lessons, until I feel ready, which, is very helpful, but makes me nervous about what others are going to think, and when I finally do go back to lessons about how I need to try and control my behaviour with panic, which is proving near on impossible at the minute.
P.S I am currently on day 15 of Fluoxetine the second time around, however, this is primarily for anxiety not depression this time. I have not felt the benefits of this for my anxiety yet, but have felt a slight change in my mood, to the point of getting out of bed more in the house. But not to the extent I need to get through all of this.
Also - sorry this is so long, but I am allowed to stop going to school as there is only 6 weeks left, and I can still take exams. But if I stop going 1. I feel like I have failed, 2. I won't be able to see my boyfriend (he boards), and 3. I will build up a resistance, and panic association to a classroom... something not ideal for my current situation as am hopefully planning on going to uni, if I can get a grasp on this anxiety, and get through these exams.
The problem is my anxiety has really ramped up to the point I cannot drive without lightheaded/dizziness and I feel unsafe, so I have just stopped, and this is my usual way of getting to school, and my way of escaping when its all to much. My dad and brother are going to take it in turns to take me/pick me up, but it limits the flexibility I have and makes me more nervous (even though driving is too much) I feel very trapped.
Leaving my house is making me so lightheaded and dizzy that I feel like I am going to die constantly, even in the house I feel this, but its really intense when I am away from my safe place. I find being in school overwhelming, with feeling trapped in lessons. All my teachers know, I sit close to the door, and with people I trust, I always have water and they allow me to leave when I need to. However, at the moment that isn't helping one bit. Instead, I just feel lost and alone, and terrified. I feel like there is no possible way I am going to be able to get through tomorrow, especially not panic free.
I get so embarrassed having panic attacks in front of people, and although I have friends they do not like my panic attacks, and kind of shy away from me, which in the end makes it worse, and I end up having to escape. My mum has contacted my head of year who is aware of the situation, and is allowing me to go into school, but not lessons, until I feel ready, which, is very helpful, but makes me nervous about what others are going to think, and when I finally do go back to lessons about how I need to try and control my behaviour with panic, which is proving near on impossible at the minute.
P.S I am currently on day 15 of Fluoxetine the second time around, however, this is primarily for anxiety not depression this time. I have not felt the benefits of this for my anxiety yet, but have felt a slight change in my mood, to the point of getting out of bed more in the house. But not to the extent I need to get through all of this.
Also - sorry this is so long, but I am allowed to stop going to school as there is only 6 weeks left, and I can still take exams. But if I stop going 1. I feel like I have failed, 2. I won't be able to see my boyfriend (he boards), and 3. I will build up a resistance, and panic association to a classroom... something not ideal for my current situation as am hopefully planning on going to uni, if I can get a grasp on this anxiety, and get through these exams.