Cancer obsession, found out someone I know has it and now in a panic.

[snowflake293]

Hi all

I found out someone I know today has cancer and it has set me off. I feel awful cause they were so upset and all I want to do is support them, not start thinking about myself but I can't help it.

As soon as they said the words my heart sank and I felt sad for them, but I also felt panicked and overwhelmed and then worried. Have been on edge all day since I found out (I have not shown any of it in front of this person of course, I am being strong in front of them cause that is what they need)

I am so scared of 'the unknown' and I keep playing situations out in my head over, and over again where I imagine someone I love being diagnosed, or me being diagnosed. Deep down, I even worry I have cancer already!

How do others cope with this? Does anyone else feel totally afraid of cancer and find themselves thinking about it all the time? I guess I worry about 'who's next' and cause of this my heart sinks every time a family member calls me and every time I have to, or they have to go for tests etc... personally I will do everything to avoid blood tests and scans cause I am petrified it will show something up!

Just want to think rationally, been on edge like this is exhausting.

[Beckybecks]

I understand completely. I have such a fear of cancer I hate to even say the word and hate all the ads on TV telling us about signs and symptoms.

I lost my brother to cancer and while he went through it I was very supportive, but inside I felt so guilty because all the time I was thinking about my own anxieties.

Like you I try as far as possible to avoid the tests because I find it so traumatic waiting for the results and it causes me huge anxiety problems.

It does seem silly to be an ostrich when there is so much success with treatments now.

That's health anxiety I suppose.

I know this isn't much help to you but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone with this fear and you have my sympathy.

[countrygirl]

I was like you when I was younger but with age comes the realisation that you don't have much say in the matter!
I was in my early 30's when my mum was diagnosed with very agressive breast cancer and I still cringe with shame as the consultant got me into his office on my own and asked me if I had any questions and my first one was - how much at risk am I. I could have bitten my tongue off but this was really what was uppermost in my mind at the time. So your reaction it totally normal for someone with health anxiety.
My cousin had ovarian cancer and she said that alot of people she thought were friends totally avoiced her once she was diagnosed, they would literally cross the street so they didn't have to speak to her - so how you are feeling is normal but as long as you don't avoid the person like these people did then you won't hurt them.

[Fishmanpa]

I just found out today a dear friend of mine and fellow musician was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. He was posting some rather cryptic messages on FB about keeping them in prayer etc. I wrote him asking what was going on and he just told me. He has a wife and two young little girls. I'm gutted as I know what's ahead for him :( Even as a survivor and one that worries at times about a recurrence, it doesn't cause any distress outside of feeling bad for him and his family... it's a been there, done that kind of thing. I just hope they're able to treat him. God I hate cancer!

Positive thoughts

[snowflake293]

Hi all

Thank you for the replies. It is a comfort to know I am not alone with this horrible worry!

Sorry to hear about your loved ones affected and lost by the horrible disease :( I feel like such a coward worrying about what I almost certainly don't have. It makes me question my own self worth and makes me feel like I am being self obsessed all the time instead of getting on with my life.

I worry about my lifestyle cause although I am in fairly good shape, I am about 20lbs overweight and I drink quite a lot and I worry about that affecting my chances of developing cancer :( thing is though, I find food and alcohol such a comfort!

Feel so bad for this poor person who has just found out they have cancer. It was so sad to see this usually strong person break down in tears in front of me. It truly is an awful disease and I pray to God every day that a cure can be found one day for all cancers.