Anxiety and work struggle

[Lonelyrose]

Heya, this is my first post. I'm hoping that you can give me some support or tips that will help me.
I've suffered from anxiety and depression for many years now. I had it under control but then a in a previous job I just couldn't cope. Before I got to the point of breaking down I managed to get a new job. I thought this would be my answer and that it was the job that caused it. A little over a year down the line in this job and my anxiety has reared it's head again. I constantly worry that I will get into trouble for something even if I know I haven't done anything. I spoke with my employer and initially felt that I had some support from them but as time has gone on it appears I don't. I've been off sick recently with a virus and I was due back in after my sick note ran out but the day before I started getting the stomach pains and feeling panicked. I spoke to the doctor who has upped my medication and gave me another sick note. I'm terrified that I will get into trouble when I return for being off. I think I've also realised that it wasn't the previous job that was the problem, it's me and it will happen with any job I go to. I've considered a change of career but what I feel I could do its hard to get into and there is nothing out there right now.
Sorry if it seems a bit rambled, I'm feeling pretty low as I don't have anyone I can talk to so I'm hoping these forums will help me a bit
Thanks

[shiznit76]

Welcome, youve came to the right place, do you do anything to try help control the anxiety?

[Lonelyrose]

I'm on medication which they have just increased. I do some sports. I feel like I'm divided, out side of work I'm happy and confident and but as soon as work comes around I crumble into a big mess. I try telling myself I'm OK and nothings going to happen but I can't control my feelings and end up getting overwhelmed by them

[shiznit76]

what meds are you on? does it just seem that your problems arise at work, and it it because of the actual work, or the people you work with?

[zjw]

I have this problem myself lonelyrose. it went from really bad to not as bad. One thing I have going for me is they've lightened my work load to some degree and this has helped my anxiety but this kinda just happened i didnt say nothing to them. I think they may also feel that nothing gets done timely if they give it to me so they just dont give me as much but this could just be BS i've cooked up in my head too.

What has helped me is excercise. But also when i feel the anxiety coming on I play the tape if you will on it. I think if they fire me so what? is there soemthing i can do about it? would it really be so bad if i lost a job that makes me so miserable? Oh sure it would stink in the interim and i'd struggle but thats just temporary. And besides I might find a better job who knows. This can help calm me down. Also I try to remain present as best i can instead of worrying about oh gee what are they gonna say etc... and all the what if's I instead take a deep breath look out my window and zone our or something instead its more peaceful sure that doesnt get the work done but it keeps my sanity which is more improtant to me.

My anxiety still rises when the phone rings or i get some emai from someone etc.. its just not as bad.

Like you tho in my case I think if I where to loose this gig i'd have to find something else and I'm not sure what i'm capable of either. at one time i felt i could tackle the world but those days are long gone the anxiety is just to great. I dont let this bother me tho. I'm accepting of it at this point. It is what it is this is just how I'm wired is all. I could have a set of other problems but instead I got this one just is what it is.

[Lonelyrose]

what meds are you on? does it just seem that your problems arise at work, and it it because of the actual work, or the people you work with?


I'm on citalopram, they recently changed them as my previous ones were giving some nasty side effects. I only seem to get anxious when it comes to work. I worry about going in every morning and what happens during the day and when I leave I go over all that's happened in my head.

I know I should just let it all go but I find it hard sometimes. When I get to the weekend or have holiday I feel a lot calmer

[zjw]

sunday nights are bad for me i feel like a little kid who has to start his first day at a new school the follong mondya morning the anxiety can be killer. Some would say its a sign that its time for a new job but its not so simple for me to just get a new job.

point is I understand what your saying.

[Lonelyrose]

I have the same feelings on a Sunday night, they usually last through the first few days of the week. Thursday I start to feel a bit better as I know the weekend isn't far away. Then I have the whole start again on the Sunday.
I have had the thought of a new job but I've been there before and I'm not sure anymore If it's this particular job or the area I work in. I spend time searching jobs sites and always end up stopping as I don't know if I'd be able to do something different or whether I want to do something the same. I had a plan for something I might like to do but it's that unknown, could I do it? Would it support me financially? Not having a lot of savings in place to give me that space to try something else I guess doesn't help.

It helps knowing that I'm not the only person who has these thoughts and feelings. I'm due back on Monday and I'm already starting to get worried about returning and it's still a week away :s

[zjw]

yeah its tough i feel like a small child not wanting to go to school. its just this liek big fear of what will happen next. Its gotten better for me tho but only because for some reason they've backed off me some.

in my case i'm leisurely trying to get soemthing else going on the side and i'm doing it leisurely becuase if i push too hard there i'll get very anxious as well. OF course the idea of it supporting me is long down the road if ever but it gives me some kinda hope in the interim.

[Lonelyrose]

Well I'm due back to work tomorrow on a phased back plan. It's only 5 hours but I'm really starting to get worried. I can feel my anxiety starting, I want to cry but if I let myself I know I'll end up in a full blown panic attack. I can't take any.ore time off as I'm afraid I'll loose my job and I can't afford to. The calculator on the interest says I'm not entitled to any benefits so even dropping hours down doesn't look like an option. The thought of going back to the amount of hours I was doing terrifies me :( I feel so confused and down :(