what if I DO ACT ON THESE THOUGHTS?!?!?!

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I just read this under the description of OCD, on this site:

"Aggression - Harming yourself. Harming loved one's or people in general. Blurting out insults and/or obscenities. Acting out unwanted impulses, such as running someone over or stabbing a person."

Does this mean I may actually HURT the people im so worried about hurting?!?! I heard that OCD sufferers dont actually act on these thoughts, they just consume them I guess. now im freaking out.

I keep having this fear that maybe, deep down, i could be some kind of wannabe-murderer who could be tipped over the edge one day and go on a killing rampage (im studying criminals, which may have something to do with it), and im really scared now that i might go and stab someone, but the worst thing would be if i felt pleasure doing it, which im worried i will. im so SO scared now. Please, someone tell me how to cope with this!!

PLEASE HELP ME!
Thanks in advance,

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xx

[Piglet]

Hi there,

These are thoughts and thoughts only and I myself have had them but please can I tell you that people who want to do these sort of acts don't worry about it first!!

The best thing to do to avoid the thoughts becoming more of an issue than they need to be is to tell yourself 'it's a silly thought so I will let it through so it can just float on away'.

Piglet :flowers:

[ade]

hi,
you wont.its ocd.a condition.the reason we feel so close to the thoughts is the huge amount of anxiety that is attached to them,people who actually hurt others do not suffer that anxiety,quite the opposite.i know its horrible for you to have these thoughts,but please be reassurred,you have a medical condition,which can be helped and treated.a good book which helped me is "the imp of the mind" (try put it in google)
all the peace i can send you
kindest regards
ade x:)

[Krakers]

Hi ade - its the "what ifs" that get us sufferers every time. Its very difficult to get out of the cycle once you start, but it can be broken.

As others have said you have OCD and as a result have disturbing thougts that go along with it. You won't act or hurt others, its just not part of the condition - its the "what ifs" that perpetuate the situation you're in as you feed the anxiety with them.

I myself had a month (and I'm blessed is was only a month) of really bad and morbid thoughts last year. For me I did as piglet suggested, realised they were irrational, knew I wasn't the type of person to act on them, and let them pass over me. It takes time and practice, but it is effective.

Stay strong, and know that the thoughts are just that - thoughts, not reality. If you can manage not to dwell on them for long enough, you will find that their hold on you will lessen, and eventually the fear will dissipate.

Krakers.

[ken]

Dont no how to start with my disabling worry! I'll start now i'm obssesing about if i act out VIOLENT acts against my workmates or even worse my daughter, this worry i hate the most. I,ve been worrying since i was 10 i am now 31 its a lot of years of dread, Its like my mind always wants & is wants to worry about the worst. I no when you get reassurance it feels good but when you have these thoughts images urges of you when in this state of mind you believe your going to act it out,I NO ITS MY HEART GOING THEN DREAD THATS THE KILLER OF THAT FEELING, I always think thats the sign that i was about to do it, PLEASE REPLY at mo i need it cheers Bk

[Elle]

Ken

Many people at some time or another have thoughts which make them shudder. Now most of these people will immediately dismiss them, recognise them for being what they are - just inwardly generated thoughts - and get on with living their lives. People with OCD unfortunately seem to hang on to these thoughts, replaying them over and over in their minds and making them bigger than they really are. But they were only thoughts, thoughts created by themselves.

Now, if we can create these thoughts then we can destroy them. And the trick, I think, is not to allow the fear to take hold of us. Allowing fear in only makes our anxieties worse and then everything escalates. I think that it's important to regain control.

Likely you know that various therapies exist. Perhaps you should see a doctor or at the very least read some books. There are many books out there about OCD and there are many sites on the net which deal with the topic. Knowing that you are most certainly not alone is comforting. Some of the stories that you read will make you feel like crying. But a lot of people do get better, thank God. So can you but you must believe it yourself.

Elle

[PUGLETMUM]

hello,

this is yet another symptom ive had too, and one of the worst i feel.

mine started about 7 years ago when i had my 'breakdown', just exhausted really from not being able to get control.- anyway i have had weird thoughts in the past like when i was a teenager i convinced myself that a clock i had that ticks loudly,( you know the type with the two metal things on top?) had a bomb in it!!!lol but i had to act on that thought and get rid of it!!

so, 7 yrs ago i was in mass anxiety and these freaky thoughts like what you guys have had started to consume me, and they centred on killing my daughter. i was so frightened that i got into a pattern of avoidance and dependance so i wouldnt be with her alone, what a MISTAKE that was, but with no help from outside and no support in the family i just did what i thought was the best.

so to the present i have had these thoughts again but now i know what others have said that, they are sooooo devastating to you that you worry you will do them proves you are OKAY. having a thought does not mean you will do it, its just another symptom of panic, and i dont want to label myself as having OCD, even if i have had synptoms of it, i dont say i have ocd i say i have panic.i think its just part of the panic cycle. obviously other people do have ocd,but in agoraphobia sufferers ALL elements of anxiety disorders can be present at one time or another.

you are not alone

emma

[ken]

When i,m obsessing on a worry it feels like its going to happen because if i,m thinking of it it'll happen! Like the worry i,ve got now is i,m going to loose control & hit the person who is near me & even worse my daughter it terrifies me its a horrible feeling like my heart beets faster dread goes thru me & utter depression kicks in. When the thoughts cum in you can actually see yourself doing these horrible acts thats why its scary, i cant make myself think its normal thoughts i just keep going back to my normal self of worrying. For example this worry again started on monday all wk at work i kept dreading going to work incase i acted out my thoughts of smacking my work pals lol!!!
then i went to see my sister & her baby which i absolutly love before i went to see them thoughts started to go thru my head, what if i loose control
as you can geuss i was having the thoughts when i visited. Then it progressed to me going out with freinds that evening & as predicted i got them again. & i,m sort of dreading going to work tomorrow, i think what keeps it going is i can actually act out these thoughts i,m stopping myself everytime, do you understand what i,m trying to say.:wacko: :wacko:

[up_n_down]

wow, thank-you everyone for responding, i do feel a bit better now!! i realise they are just thoughts, becoz i said to myself, 'do I want these thoughts to go away, and would i be happier if i never had to worry about hurting anyone?' and my answer was 'yes'. so im guessing, that since i want the thoughts to go away, i really DONT want to act on them (and hence, im not a closet-murderer), so all i have to do is learn to deal with them.

One of my biggest fears is hurting animals, especially one of my dogs. This dog is like my best friend, and i thought, 'why would i want to hurt her?' so now, whenever i get those thoughts, i pick her up and cuddle her, and becoz im holding her close and letting the thought run free, i know i wont hurt her. It's like, what im really feeling is a lack of affection from people in general, and i really just want to be close to people and get reactions from them, so instead of being able to hug them, i think of hurting them. i dont know if this makes sense, but it's basically like im displacing my emotions.

Think of when you meet someone, and you think theyre really annoying and you hate them, but after a while you think, 'omg, maybe im actually in love with them!' you see it in movies all the time. OCD is like that, i guess. so now, whenever i get scared, i try to think of WHAT it is im feeling, and not just focus on what is in front of me.

Sorry if i didnt explain this very well--it's a good concept, i just cant word it lol!! thanks heaps to all of you, and KEN, you're not alone in your worries. i dont have kids, but i understand ur worries. maybe try the hugging thing next if youre worried about hurting her....maybe you're worried that somehow youre pushing her away, and you really just want to be closer to her, and that's just coming out in the form of a really annoying thought which means the opposite to what you think. good luck!


thank you all very much, i really do appreciate your advice!!

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xx

[mynydd]

Just remember OCD is a bully!

[bluebottle]

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