Approaching rock bottom at a rapid rate

[Fedup79]

Hi all

I knew my anxiety was bad and thought i was a bit better but somethings changed, like a switch has gone off and im very very anxious and mood is low. I have developed a huge fear of having cancer (never have before) and any lump i feel in my body is cancer (i found one on my side today, rational side says its muscle tension, posture, ribs or a fatty lump from weight loss (intentional, just over a stone)) as i was at work i kept it together but then i just lost it (panicattack lost it not angry lost it). Im scared as i dont want to end up where i was 18 months ago & petriffed of the big C and something happening to me esp when im a single mum to my 3 year old. I have an appt with my dr who nursed me through my pnd and anxiety next week but i dont know if i should see someone sooner or try to hold off until then. Please please help me.

[georgewing]

Well i dont think you have cancer its just your anxiety.To be sure just go to a cabinet and do some analysis and you will see you dont have cancer .You have this fear of desease because your anxiety .You must find a way to not think so much at fears of cancer etc

[Fedup79]

Thanks. Pains and what rational side of brain is saying is muscle tension in back of neck/ bottom of head, ear ache/ needing popped, sometimes pain in cheeks and an occasional weirdness of kinda numb feeling in my chin dosent help matters. Had a full blood count done in feb and all came back ok so trying to keep myself calm and say its just the anciety but then that wee voice is but what if ots not, what if drs have missed something :/

[Cal83]

Thanks. Pains and what rational side of brain is saying is muscle tension in back of neck/ bottom of head, ear ache/ needing popped, sometimes pain in cheeks and an occasional weirdness of kinda numb feeling in my chin dosent help matters. Had a full blood count done in feb and all came back ok so trying to keep myself calm and say its just the anciety but then that wee voice is but what if ots not, what if drs have missed something :/

I'm in the same boat. All week I've been obsessing about a pain in my jaw, under arm and left breast. The more I worried, the more it spread. Next thing I know I'm convinced I've got cancer and I'm hurting everywhere from the ribs up. I've spent 2 full days having a stern word with myself, exercising and using my time in a meaningful way to distract myself. The pain is not completely gone but is much better. Break the cycle and don't feed your anxiety with negative thoughts. You are ok.

[Fedup79]

Thanks. Its so frustrating :(

[Dreamweaver]

Thanks. Its so frustrating :(

It is possible that you have cancer. It is possible that I or anyone else on here who worries about it has cancer. In fact, I have had it (a touch of melanoma and a lucky escape). None of us are immune to it.

However, the POSSIBILITY of your having cancer is just about nothing at all when compared with the hugely greater PROBABILITY that you don't have cancer - anywhere.

When you're focused on cancer, you see it everywhere. Like a pink Rolls-Royce ... they say you don't notice how many of them there are around until you buy one yourself. Leaving that quack Dr Google aside for a moment (which you certainly ought to do), how many people do you know who have cancer?

It might be interesting to see how many of the medical sites we go to on Google are actually trying to sell us something. Go figure. And good luck. You're not alone ... although I'm new here (and male!!), I've been impressed by the level of caring and sound advice to be found here.

Use it, and be well. Stay off Google. The sense of fulfilment you'll get after your first week off it, then your first month, and so on is its own reward.

[Fedup79]

Thanks, i know the chances are small but its just all snowballing. Ive now convinced myself aswell that ive g9t an infected tooth causing a sinus problem (dont ask) depression has came back wotha vengance and starting to want to run away & thinking dd is better off without me, rock bottom has been hit :( :(

[KLM]

I have had most of the symptoms that you have described - and many more! I was in my poor doctors all the time a year ago! I now know tho that the majority of my symptoms have been anxiety related and all about muscle tension. Anxiety can make us feel terrible - I could never have imagined how much.
I start every day now saying F it. If I am going to die tomorrow then I am going to try to enjoy today. A lot of the time this works for me. The more days you can manage like this the less tense your body will become and the fewer symptoms you will have.
I am well aware that this is easier said than done, and in fact I am having a lump on cervix biopsied tomorrow and am convinced it's cancer and my poor son will grow up alone, but do you know what, the doc said 96% chance it is nothing, and if it is then we are luck enough to live in a country with excellent free health care. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!
I am determined not to let health anxiety rob me of my life. I do not want to look back in 50 years at a life wasted worrying about something that will probably never happen. Get out of bed, put the radio on sing in the shower and force yourself to smile. See your friends even when you want to hide under your covers. You will get through this and feel better soon.
I know it is hard but we have been given the amazing life and we owe it to ourselves to make the most of it.
Good luck to you all, positive thoughts, keep fighting, I am sending love to you all xxx

[Fedup79]

KLM ill be thinking of you and hope all goes well!! Health anxiety is horrendous, i have suffered some form of anxiety since i was young (i mean 5/6 years old) to some degree. It had always been more general anxiety until recently but OMG at the way anxiety can tear through yoyr body and give so many symptoms. Ive been up and down to the doctors for weeks with diff things and always told oh its your anxiety and thats it. No help to manage it or anything. Thankfully i see my own dr on friday and although i think ill end up back on medication if it means i get at least some normalityback in my life and not be in so much pain it might be worth it. Its so exhausting aswell & i dont think nonsufferers realise just how tiring and how much ofa vicious cycle it is. Xx

[KLM]

Thanks so much for the message. That was so nice to get up to! Off to work not, hospital later. I'm am frightened but managing my fear at the mo. I noticed that you said something about fearing an infected tooth. I lost Xmas to that one!! Honestly, I was obsessed! My poor dentist! Actually I believe the anxiety was making me clench my jaw and grind my teeth in the night and this resulted in tooth ache and headaches and even a little abscess, lump at top of mouth. It has turned into nothing. My dentist made me a tooth guard to wear at night to take the pressure off teeth. Give it a try, and be reassured that I have been through the same and I look back now and almost laugh because it was so silly. Makes me angry too as my Xmas was rubbish and that means my family suffered too.
Have a great day. Decide you are going to. Really try, go out for a walk, try to have people around you xxx

[Fedup79]

Hope you got on ok. I was at work and was ok but now im home im working myself up about ear/neck ache on left side. Just so fed up of it all. Xx

[KLM]

I'm ok. Biopsy sent off. 3 week wait but said looks healthy inside. I am now fixating on getting an infection where she has snipped me inside!!! What are we like? Always something! And if there isn't something then we will imagine something and work it up into our next obsession! I am fed up too. Should be happy tonight as v likely good news today but just feel like shadow of my next obsession hanging over me already. Drains all of the happiness out of life. And of course you can't just dismiss it because this might be the one that isn't just your health anxiety right!!
Ear neck ache was something I suffered with a lot when I was first ill and now think it was all related to tension in my face and jaw during he day and grinding my teeth at night. Please don't worry about it too much. Get a good nights sleep. It is a VERY common symptom of anxiety. Have you tied meditation for relaxing your muscles, helps me. Have a few favourites on YouTube that help me get out of my head.
How long have you been suffering with this? For me about a year now after having a nervous breakdown. Life was just too busy and hectic and I just collapsed one day and didn't go back to work or really stay awake for very long for nearly 3 months. Nervous exhaustion I think although help is very hard to find and I have never actually seen a psychiatrist so I have just diagnosed myself! I was left with health anxiety which has never left me. Before that I have 42 years of being completely confident, laid back and happy and not really being scared of anything. This is a terrible illness we have.
Bed now, try to sleep love. It will all be there for you to worry about tomorrow. Have you read any of dr Claire weeks books? Her first one 'essential help for your nerves' helped me so much, and saved me when I was so badly ill a year ago. Maybe give it a try? It's so good to be able to talk to someone and get things off my chest!! Sorry if I go on too much! Have a good day tomorrow xx

[Fedup79]

Thanks FLM. This bout has been ongoing about 3 months now, but always gad some form ofanxiety. Woje up this am and under my chin feels tender (all the poking dosent help!!) so feeling bit worked up about that. But think im poss coming down with a cold aswell. Roll on friday. Thats great that things are sounding positive but know exactly how you feel about shadows lingering, its just a nightmare!!! Xx