blueskies96
21-04-16, 10:56
Hi, I'm new to the site. I'm 19 and live in Australia.
Every time I eat, even though I am obsessively careful, I panic I have somehow eaten peanut and will have an anaphylactic reaction.
I was diagnosed with a mild peanut allergy when I was younger, though I have accidentally eaten peanuts on a few occasions (I used to have no idea what satay sauce and had a reaction because I ate satay chicken! Oops.) - my symptoms are an itchy mouth/throat.
I've had OCD and anxiety most of my life, though it's been pretty manageable. A traumatic incident two years ago has unsurprisingly caused my anxiety/OCD to sky rocket. I've always been cautious with food: hesitant to try new foods, always checking labels, always asking if something contains peanuts; but it's been pretty manageable and rational. In the past year the caution has become completely irrational. I've had so many panic attacks about my family eating peanut butter in the house - it frightened me so much I would lock myself in my room and cry.
I haven't gone out to eat in over a year. It has completely isolated me. I never go out with friends if I know they're going out to eat - I fear they would think I'm weird for not eating, ask why I'm not eating etc. and work out that it's because I'm scared, and think of me as childish. I feel extremely childish. Eating a new food or going out to eat is practically an impossible idea. I wouldn't be able to do it.
I panic about contamination, and got into a big fight with my family when I opened up about this fear and asked if they could stop buying peanut butter, because I'm just so scared that there's contamination on the utensils/bowls/etc. they use and I will come into contact with it. I would scrub dishes I was going to use even if they'd gone through the dishwasher. They agreed to stop buying it thank goodness, but I still feel pathetic and childish for even asking them.
I recently saw an allergy specialist to get re-tested because I was convinced my allergy had escalated to severe. It hadn't. It's mild, but there is a very, very slim chance that mild allergies can randomly become severe, and I have been obsessing over that for a long time.
It's controlling my life. I wish I could go out to eat with my family and friends, or go to friends' houses for dinner. It is completely isolating and I feel so alone. My diet has become very restricted and I don't even touch foods that have a "may contain" or "made on equipment that also processes" warning. I'm underweight. It occupies so much of my mind and has drained me of so much energy panicking about it. I feel so childish that I haven't even brought it up with my psychologist. Lots of kids are 'picky', but everyone expects them to grow out of it. Whatever progress I had made on being able to try new foods has diminished because of this.
I wish I could open up to my family about it and get support, but they made fun of me for being picky when I was a child, and I fear this would be the same.
Does anyone else experience this or have any advice? Does it seem like an OCD or anxiety thing? It really is ruining my life. This is the first time I have even fully articulated it, even though it's been going on for a long time.
Thank you in advance. I would appreciate any advice.
Every time I eat, even though I am obsessively careful, I panic I have somehow eaten peanut and will have an anaphylactic reaction.
I was diagnosed with a mild peanut allergy when I was younger, though I have accidentally eaten peanuts on a few occasions (I used to have no idea what satay sauce and had a reaction because I ate satay chicken! Oops.) - my symptoms are an itchy mouth/throat.
I've had OCD and anxiety most of my life, though it's been pretty manageable. A traumatic incident two years ago has unsurprisingly caused my anxiety/OCD to sky rocket. I've always been cautious with food: hesitant to try new foods, always checking labels, always asking if something contains peanuts; but it's been pretty manageable and rational. In the past year the caution has become completely irrational. I've had so many panic attacks about my family eating peanut butter in the house - it frightened me so much I would lock myself in my room and cry.
I haven't gone out to eat in over a year. It has completely isolated me. I never go out with friends if I know they're going out to eat - I fear they would think I'm weird for not eating, ask why I'm not eating etc. and work out that it's because I'm scared, and think of me as childish. I feel extremely childish. Eating a new food or going out to eat is practically an impossible idea. I wouldn't be able to do it.
I panic about contamination, and got into a big fight with my family when I opened up about this fear and asked if they could stop buying peanut butter, because I'm just so scared that there's contamination on the utensils/bowls/etc. they use and I will come into contact with it. I would scrub dishes I was going to use even if they'd gone through the dishwasher. They agreed to stop buying it thank goodness, but I still feel pathetic and childish for even asking them.
I recently saw an allergy specialist to get re-tested because I was convinced my allergy had escalated to severe. It hadn't. It's mild, but there is a very, very slim chance that mild allergies can randomly become severe, and I have been obsessing over that for a long time.
It's controlling my life. I wish I could go out to eat with my family and friends, or go to friends' houses for dinner. It is completely isolating and I feel so alone. My diet has become very restricted and I don't even touch foods that have a "may contain" or "made on equipment that also processes" warning. I'm underweight. It occupies so much of my mind and has drained me of so much energy panicking about it. I feel so childish that I haven't even brought it up with my psychologist. Lots of kids are 'picky', but everyone expects them to grow out of it. Whatever progress I had made on being able to try new foods has diminished because of this.
I wish I could open up to my family about it and get support, but they made fun of me for being picky when I was a child, and I fear this would be the same.
Does anyone else experience this or have any advice? Does it seem like an OCD or anxiety thing? It really is ruining my life. This is the first time I have even fully articulated it, even though it's been going on for a long time.
Thank you in advance. I would appreciate any advice.