breathe79
21-04-16, 12:36
Hi folks,
So I just began a new job last week with much better pay and benefits than my previous job (actually this job is one i have wanted for awhile now, with the company I had been looking to get into, so it was a double bonus for me). I was ok up until right around when I began and then the very first week which was orientation I began having crippling panic attacks to the point where on the first day I almost didn't even go. Week 2 (which is this week) I began at the central office where I will be working and the panic, believe it or not, feels even worse. I feel like I can't breathe, I zone out half the time just so I have some form of relief during the day...I'm at a point where I tell myself ok, just try to make it to lunch and if you still feel THIS bad then you can go home and draft an e-mail saying you won't be back in.
Obviously quitting is not what I want to do, if for nothing else than a financial standpoint, but I just do not understand why the panic has gotten to be THIS bad. I've suffered with anxiety and panic my whole life and am medicated for it actually, but the meds do nothing in this case. I just have this overwhelming dread fear that I simply am not going to be able to pick up the complexities of the new position and this is just a countdown to getting let go. I feel quite a bit like my questions are stupid and people probably think I'm an idiot for even asking also.
I guess my question is...well first if anyone else has been thru this please, do the feelings pass? I mean we're going on two weeks of this now. Usually panics just kind of die out in a few hours for me but this feels different. Essentially I feel like I don't even belong working here after starting, like there must have been a mistake or I'm basically a fraud sitting among other people who are actually qualified. Its soul crushing on so many levels because I like office work like this, this position specifically allows me a massive (nearly all) amount of alone time without having to deal with co-workers and is tons of paperwork which means I can just stay busy at the computer and not have to really deal with people (which when it comes to anxiety actually helps, at least for me).
Seriously any advice anyone has is appreciated, because at the rate I'm going I feel like I'd be happier as a manager at a video game store making crap money and listening to snotty kids all day than working in an ideal office setting. Thank You
So I just began a new job last week with much better pay and benefits than my previous job (actually this job is one i have wanted for awhile now, with the company I had been looking to get into, so it was a double bonus for me). I was ok up until right around when I began and then the very first week which was orientation I began having crippling panic attacks to the point where on the first day I almost didn't even go. Week 2 (which is this week) I began at the central office where I will be working and the panic, believe it or not, feels even worse. I feel like I can't breathe, I zone out half the time just so I have some form of relief during the day...I'm at a point where I tell myself ok, just try to make it to lunch and if you still feel THIS bad then you can go home and draft an e-mail saying you won't be back in.
Obviously quitting is not what I want to do, if for nothing else than a financial standpoint, but I just do not understand why the panic has gotten to be THIS bad. I've suffered with anxiety and panic my whole life and am medicated for it actually, but the meds do nothing in this case. I just have this overwhelming dread fear that I simply am not going to be able to pick up the complexities of the new position and this is just a countdown to getting let go. I feel quite a bit like my questions are stupid and people probably think I'm an idiot for even asking also.
I guess my question is...well first if anyone else has been thru this please, do the feelings pass? I mean we're going on two weeks of this now. Usually panics just kind of die out in a few hours for me but this feels different. Essentially I feel like I don't even belong working here after starting, like there must have been a mistake or I'm basically a fraud sitting among other people who are actually qualified. Its soul crushing on so many levels because I like office work like this, this position specifically allows me a massive (nearly all) amount of alone time without having to deal with co-workers and is tons of paperwork which means I can just stay busy at the computer and not have to really deal with people (which when it comes to anxiety actually helps, at least for me).
Seriously any advice anyone has is appreciated, because at the rate I'm going I feel like I'd be happier as a manager at a video game store making crap money and listening to snotty kids all day than working in an ideal office setting. Thank You