Wanted to share what has helped me

[lavendar]

This is a longer post than I planned it to be, but I hope it helps someone!!

I have a big fear of cancer. I always have. This is something that traces back to my childhood (when I was about 8 I thought I had tumors in my throat. They were just my glands, but I obviously didn't know enough about anatomy back then to know that). It went away for a long time, but when I suffered a traumatic birth of my son last year, it came back with a vengeance.

I am taking citalopram. I'm on week 5 and it is helping. I did have heightened anxiety for the first 2 weeks and was given a low dose Xanax to help through that period. I was also very tired and had headaches, but that stopped after 2 weeks.

What I've come up with is a LIE/TRUTH journal.

First I write down the LIE that my anxiety is telling me. Then I write down the TRUTH.

Here is an example:

LIE: Those red spots on my skin might be a sign of leukemia

TRUTH: I've been to the doctors recently. My blood work was normal. My doctor examined the red spots and determined that they were NOT consistent with signs of leukemia. Furthermore, I have no other symptoms of leukemia. Therefore, this thought is not rational. However, if I DO have leukemia, it will make itself known soon enough. I do not need to worry about this right now. I am free to live my life and be happy.

LIE: I have a spot on the inside of my cheek that's bleeding. Maybe it's oral cancer.

TRUTH: I probably bit the inside of my cheek or cut it on a sharp piece of food. This happens all the time to people and is nothing to be concerned about. I was at the dentist a few months ago for a routine exam, and they didn't see anything then. I have another routine exam scheduled for a few months from now. If I do have something amiss in my mouth, it will be caught at that point. Oral cancer is also extremely rare, and I have no risk factors. These are all very good reasons for why I do NOT have a tie myself to this fear at this point in time. Be well and enjoy your life.
_________


I do want to say that for a short period of time, visiting this specific folder on this forum made my anxiety worse. Reading other people's posts made me worry about diseases that I'd never even heard of before. I once woke up with a bad panic attack with fears that I had Reynaud's (sp). I don't even know what Reynaud's is. I refused to Google it because I don't NEED or WANT to know what it is . But just reading someone else's post about it triggered something in my brain and I had to have my husband stay home from work that day to help me with the kids.

I just want to caution you, if you're in a really bad place, reading other people's posts on health anxiety or seeking reassurance may make things worse. I found it more beneficial to discuss my anxiety on the GAD or Panic Attack folders. I discussed my ANXIETY. I did not discuss the health concerns that I had. I ONLY allowed myself to discuss those with my husband and doctor. I've had to learn how to reassure myself. Or if it's a real legitimate symptom, I discuss it with my doctor and TRUST her.

I still have to work at it everyday (some days are better than others). I still have irrational thoughts, but I'm learning how to work through them. I think the medication helped calm my nerves enough so that I could think rationally about my anxiety. I wish I had gotten on it 13 months ago when this all started, rather than letting it spiral out of control in hopes that "time would heal all things." I would really encourage you to consider this option and not try to tough it out. Anxiety is a real illness. I have an elderly uncle who has had a really bad respiratory infection for a few months and refuses to take antibiotics. Everyone is the family is shaking their head at him because it's nonsense to not treat a condition that you're suffering with. Anxiety is the same way. Maybe medication isn't the right fit for you, but do SOMETHING. Don't just sit and suffer for months when there are ways to treat it.

I hope that this post helps someone. You're not alone. Everyone has a "cross to carry" in life. For us....it looks like anxiety is our cross. This is the hardest thing I've every had to walk through. I like to hope that going through this very difficult time will make me a better, stronger, more compassionate person.:hugs:

[.Poppy.]

This sounds to me like simplified CBT. I'm glad it's working for you :)

One thing that has helped me a bit is an app I purchased where I can log my fears and once I've mentally moved past them, I can log the outcome. I can even see in a pie chart how often I'm wrong about what I'm afraid of!

For example, I had a pain in my leg that I was convinced was a blood clot or something bad. I fixated on it. After a week, it just went away and didn't come back. So I was able to, yet again, log a fear that turned out to be totally unfounded.

I find it really helpful to recall the times I'm wrong when a new fear pops up...it makes it easier for me to accept my anxiety is distorting the situation.

Of course, not all of my anxiety/depression is health related, so I'm still battling through a decent amount of it. But will fight on!

[Fishmanpa]

This sounds to me like simplified CBT.

Pretty straight up CBT technique if you ask me and a good one. I know a couple of posters that could use this about now ;)

Positive thoughts

[.Poppy.]

Fishmanpa - it must seem simplified to me because the workbooks I'm doing right now have page-long tables to fill out and go into quite a bit of detail. :D Probably to help newbies get the hang of it before finding shortcuts.

I say any way we can challenge our thoughts is a positive step! Even if the best we can muster up at the time is, "I might be wrong about this, I do suffer from anxiety after all..." :shades:

[Traceypo]

My thought is 'when have I ever been right?', answer to that is when it comes to the serious illness beliefs for myself, I'm yet to be right and I'm very happy about being wrong.
Xxx

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi Lavender

So glad you are feeling better. I love that with the truth and lie, it's a brill idea. Xx

[lavendar]

Oh I had no idea that this was how CBT worked! I came up with this journal bc I unfortunately don't have access to therapy at this time. I fully recognize that my anxiety is caused by negative thought patterns. So I was trying to come up with a way to create NEW thought patterns. It has truly helped me these last couple of weeks. I know it'll take time for my old thought patterns to be replaced by new, positive patterns... So it's def something I'll need to be consistent with. But I finally feel like there might be a light at the end of the tunnel, and that's something I haven't felt in a long time.

I think getting to the point of accepting that my happiness does not have to hinge on perfect health is something I would like to work on as well. If I do get cancer some day? Or have a heart attack? Or some other illness... Can I still find joy? Can I still feel gratitude for the things in my life that I would consider my greatest blessings? Even if I'm very ill? That's my goal.

[Fishmanpa]

Yes, it's similar to a thought record worksheet. There are fields/columns you fill in... Where were you? What was your emotion? What's the negative thought? (Lie) What evidence is there to support the thought? What evidence does not support the thought? (Truth) A positive response to the thought and how it makes you feel.

I found CBT to use a lot of common sense and logic. It's training yourself and your mind to react differently to stimuli. It takes practice but it does work. Most of all, you have to believe in it! It doesn't work for everyone but when I see people saying things like "I came here for answers not to be asked questions." it's apparent they don't get it. It's all about learning personal self assurance techniques.

I do the Positive Thoughts thing and have for over 20 years. It's hard to stay positive when you have so many obstacles but by reading something positive every morning, it's helped me to maintain a good attitude.

There are some pretty decent on-line CBT resources... That's something people should Google! It's worth looking at.

Positive thoughts

[.Poppy.]

I think getting to the point of accepting that my happiness does not have to hinge on perfect health is something I would like to work on as well. If I do get cancer some day? Or have a heart attack? Or some other illness... Can I still find joy? Can I still feel gratitude for the things in my life that I would consider my greatest blessings? Even if I'm very ill? That's my goal.

I struggle with this too. Obviously people cope with things like that all the time, but I've always had the mindset that if things aren't just right, it's hard to feel happy. Low self esteem doesn't help either.

There are free online workbooks via CCI I believe that I've been using if you wanted to delve further into the idea of CBT, but if this is working just keep going for it!