lavendar
21-04-16, 14:34
This is a longer post than I planned it to be, but I hope it helps someone!!
I have a big fear of cancer. I always have. This is something that traces back to my childhood (when I was about 8 I thought I had tumors in my throat. They were just my glands, but I obviously didn't know enough about anatomy back then to know that). It went away for a long time, but when I suffered a traumatic birth of my son last year, it came back with a vengeance.
I am taking citalopram. I'm on week 5 and it is helping. I did have heightened anxiety for the first 2 weeks and was given a low dose Xanax to help through that period. I was also very tired and had headaches, but that stopped after 2 weeks.
What I've come up with is a LIE/TRUTH journal.
First I write down the LIE that my anxiety is telling me. Then I write down the TRUTH.
Here is an example:
LIE: Those red spots on my skin might be a sign of leukemia
TRUTH: I've been to the doctors recently. My blood work was normal. My doctor examined the red spots and determined that they were NOT consistent with signs of leukemia. Furthermore, I have no other symptoms of leukemia. Therefore, this thought is not rational. However, if I DO have leukemia, it will make itself known soon enough. I do not need to worry about this right now. I am free to live my life and be happy.
LIE: I have a spot on the inside of my cheek that's bleeding. Maybe it's oral cancer.
TRUTH: I probably bit the inside of my cheek or cut it on a sharp piece of food. This happens all the time to people and is nothing to be concerned about. I was at the dentist a few months ago for a routine exam, and they didn't see anything then. I have another routine exam scheduled for a few months from now. If I do have something amiss in my mouth, it will be caught at that point. Oral cancer is also extremely rare, and I have no risk factors. These are all very good reasons for why I do NOT have a tie myself to this fear at this point in time. Be well and enjoy your life.
_________
I do want to say that for a short period of time, visiting this specific folder on this forum made my anxiety worse. Reading other people's posts made me worry about diseases that I'd never even heard of before. I once woke up with a bad panic attack with fears that I had Reynaud's (sp). I don't even know what Reynaud's is. I refused to Google it because I don't NEED or WANT to know what it is . But just reading someone else's post about it triggered something in my brain and I had to have my husband stay home from work that day to help me with the kids.
I just want to caution you, if you're in a really bad place, reading other people's posts on health anxiety or seeking reassurance may make things worse. I found it more beneficial to discuss my anxiety on the GAD or Panic Attack folders. I discussed my ANXIETY. I did not discuss the health concerns that I had. I ONLY allowed myself to discuss those with my husband and doctor. I've had to learn how to reassure myself. Or if it's a real legitimate symptom, I discuss it with my doctor and TRUST her.
I still have to work at it everyday (some days are better than others). I still have irrational thoughts, but I'm learning how to work through them. I think the medication helped calm my nerves enough so that I could think rationally about my anxiety. I wish I had gotten on it 13 months ago when this all started, rather than letting it spiral out of control in hopes that "time would heal all things." I would really encourage you to consider this option and not try to tough it out. Anxiety is a real illness. I have an elderly uncle who has had a really bad respiratory infection for a few months and refuses to take antibiotics. Everyone is the family is shaking their head at him because it's nonsense to not treat a condition that you're suffering with. Anxiety is the same way. Maybe medication isn't the right fit for you, but do SOMETHING. Don't just sit and suffer for months when there are ways to treat it.
I hope that this post helps someone. You're not alone. Everyone has a "cross to carry" in life. For us....it looks like anxiety is our cross. This is the hardest thing I've every had to walk through. I like to hope that going through this very difficult time will make me a better, stronger, more compassionate person.:hugs:
I have a big fear of cancer. I always have. This is something that traces back to my childhood (when I was about 8 I thought I had tumors in my throat. They were just my glands, but I obviously didn't know enough about anatomy back then to know that). It went away for a long time, but when I suffered a traumatic birth of my son last year, it came back with a vengeance.
I am taking citalopram. I'm on week 5 and it is helping. I did have heightened anxiety for the first 2 weeks and was given a low dose Xanax to help through that period. I was also very tired and had headaches, but that stopped after 2 weeks.
What I've come up with is a LIE/TRUTH journal.
First I write down the LIE that my anxiety is telling me. Then I write down the TRUTH.
Here is an example:
LIE: Those red spots on my skin might be a sign of leukemia
TRUTH: I've been to the doctors recently. My blood work was normal. My doctor examined the red spots and determined that they were NOT consistent with signs of leukemia. Furthermore, I have no other symptoms of leukemia. Therefore, this thought is not rational. However, if I DO have leukemia, it will make itself known soon enough. I do not need to worry about this right now. I am free to live my life and be happy.
LIE: I have a spot on the inside of my cheek that's bleeding. Maybe it's oral cancer.
TRUTH: I probably bit the inside of my cheek or cut it on a sharp piece of food. This happens all the time to people and is nothing to be concerned about. I was at the dentist a few months ago for a routine exam, and they didn't see anything then. I have another routine exam scheduled for a few months from now. If I do have something amiss in my mouth, it will be caught at that point. Oral cancer is also extremely rare, and I have no risk factors. These are all very good reasons for why I do NOT have a tie myself to this fear at this point in time. Be well and enjoy your life.
_________
I do want to say that for a short period of time, visiting this specific folder on this forum made my anxiety worse. Reading other people's posts made me worry about diseases that I'd never even heard of before. I once woke up with a bad panic attack with fears that I had Reynaud's (sp). I don't even know what Reynaud's is. I refused to Google it because I don't NEED or WANT to know what it is . But just reading someone else's post about it triggered something in my brain and I had to have my husband stay home from work that day to help me with the kids.
I just want to caution you, if you're in a really bad place, reading other people's posts on health anxiety or seeking reassurance may make things worse. I found it more beneficial to discuss my anxiety on the GAD or Panic Attack folders. I discussed my ANXIETY. I did not discuss the health concerns that I had. I ONLY allowed myself to discuss those with my husband and doctor. I've had to learn how to reassure myself. Or if it's a real legitimate symptom, I discuss it with my doctor and TRUST her.
I still have to work at it everyday (some days are better than others). I still have irrational thoughts, but I'm learning how to work through them. I think the medication helped calm my nerves enough so that I could think rationally about my anxiety. I wish I had gotten on it 13 months ago when this all started, rather than letting it spiral out of control in hopes that "time would heal all things." I would really encourage you to consider this option and not try to tough it out. Anxiety is a real illness. I have an elderly uncle who has had a really bad respiratory infection for a few months and refuses to take antibiotics. Everyone is the family is shaking their head at him because it's nonsense to not treat a condition that you're suffering with. Anxiety is the same way. Maybe medication isn't the right fit for you, but do SOMETHING. Don't just sit and suffer for months when there are ways to treat it.
I hope that this post helps someone. You're not alone. Everyone has a "cross to carry" in life. For us....it looks like anxiety is our cross. This is the hardest thing I've every had to walk through. I like to hope that going through this very difficult time will make me a better, stronger, more compassionate person.:hugs: