And now we're on day 10

[danithegirl]

I cried in the shower this morning. I'm so frustrated that by night I feel like there's hope, and I go to bed feeling good, but when I wake up, I'm back at square one. I know it takes weeks to kick in, and I know that this is just a temporary problem, but I'm way too impatient for this. I just want to feel better. I want to not spend every waking moment worried about my parents instead of being and enjoying time with my husband. I want to have a day where I look forward to spending an evening on the couch doing nothing, instead of having to force myself to do things just to distract my thoughts. I'll get there, right?

This really sucks.

[ss2016]

I cried in the shower this morning. I'm so frustrated that by night I feel like there's hope, and I go to bed feeling good, but when I wake up, I'm back at square one. I know it takes weeks to kick in, and I know that this is just a temporary problem, but I'm way too impatient for this. I just want to feel better. I want to not spend every waking moment worried about my parents instead of being and enjoying time with my husband. I want to have a day where I look forward to spending an evening on the couch doing nothing, instead of having to force myself to do things just to distract my thoughts. I'll get there, right?

This really sucks.

I know how you feel!! We all just want to feel normal again. This is my second time on Cit and I forgot how bad the start up was, but its so worth it when it kicks in. Just think a couple more weeks of feeling crappy and thank goodness there is medicine for us to take otherwise we would be like this for the rest of our lives yuck!!! Stay strong!!! You will get there :bighug1::bighug1:

[pollynewsome]

How long does the start up last usually?? i guess we are all different.. i didnt feel too bad at all on 10mg but the 20mg is really hard to handle.. i am so tempted to drop back down!! Each day just gets harder not easier.. and side affects just increase. The worst symptom is the severe visual disturbances and strangest head feeling like when i move it everything seems to follow and wobble it makes me feel so sick and worried.. I cant drive when its like this and today its been with me all day know matter what i have done:( grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[R1CH]

I cried in the shower this morning. I'm so frustrated that by night I feel like there's hope, and I go to bed feeling good, but when I wake up, I'm back at square one. I know it takes weeks to kick in, and I know that this is just a temporary problem, but I'm way too impatient for this. I just want to feel better. I want to not spend every waking moment worried about my parents instead of being and enjoying time with my husband. I want to have a day where I look forward to spending an evening on the couch doing nothing, instead of having to force myself to do things just to distract my thoughts. I'll get there, right?

This really sucks.

You are just like I was but you need to try and accept the situation as it is, I know this is really hard. You will get better it just takes time. I still had a cry today as well FWIW and I'm a bloke! :) so I am not out of the woods yet either but feel in general much better than I was.

Keep strong

Rich :bighug1:

---------- Post added at 20:18 ---------- Previous post was at 20:14 ----------


How long does the start up last usually?? i guess we are all different.. i didnt feel too bad at all on 10mg but the 20mg is really hard to handle.. i am so tempted to drop back down!! Each day just gets harder not easier.. and side affects just increase. The worst symptom is the severe visual disturbances and strangest head feeling like when i move it everything seems to follow and wobble it makes me feel so sick and worried.. I cant drive when its like this and today its been with me all day know matter what i have done:( grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hi Polly

I too had thoughts of dropping back down and I felt bad first time around right up until the tablets kicked in. I had the same issues as you with visual disturbances etc. This time around however my side effects from a dose increase subsided after 3 weeks. I have been on 30mg for 3 weeks and feeling much better but still have depressed days (like today, very up and down). I am hoping these will go. I would stick with 20mg for at least 3 - 4 weeks.

If you were generally doing fine at 10mg why did you increase? sometimes an increase is not the right thing but 10mg is very low.

HTH

Stay strong

Rich :bighug1:

[danithegirl]

How long does the start up last usually?? i guess we are all different.. i didnt feel too bad at all on 10mg but the 20mg is really hard to handle.. i am so tempted to drop back down!! Each day just gets harder not easier.. and side affects just increase. The worst symptom is the severe visual disturbances and strangest head feeling like when i move it everything seems to follow and wobble it makes me feel so sick and worried.. I cant drive when its like this and today its been with me all day know matter what i have done:( grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

A few weeks, unfortunately. And even more unfortunately is I spent so much time Googling how long it takes to kick in, and there were a few who said "oh I felt better right away," which meant I was disappointed when I did NOT feel better right away. It really is awful, but at least we're in this together.

For what it's worth, I have issues with my vision at night. But I've decided to use it as my indication that it's time to go to bed. :)

[pollynewsome]

You guys are so helpful. Doc increased dose because when I went I told her I was loads better but not 100%she said that 20mg just might do the trick so I went with it. Gosh it's hard though. Ok well thanks for support. P.s a good cry is good for you regardless of a man or women and it's a sign that you're strong if you're a man!! Keep smiling all. X

[danithegirl]

I think for me the worst is the thoughts. Yesterday it was "I don't love my husband and I shouldn't have gotten married." I went and hugged him after that played through my head and felt physically sick. But something in my head said to me "You do love him. You need to listen to your heart and not your head." That got me bawling because I know it's true, and it was the first "rational" thought I've had in awhile. I feel so awful for putting my husband through this, but he is my rock. He doesn't go through anxiety so he doesn't quite get it, but he doesn't mind me crying, or my complaining, and he brings me back to reality when I go a little crazy.

I tell him the scary thoughts I have... the ones that come with the side effects- that I'd never act on them but they're there. He reminds me that they're just in my head and that it's good that I can identify him.

Maybe he should have gotten the psych degree instead of me! :P

[karenp]

I was prescribed Citalopram a few weeks ago but took it for a few days and then stopped out of pure fear of the start up effects which have always been horrific, I get severe panic and anxiety and those terrible thoughts too, like I know they aren't real but yet they seem it at the time.
I have been ill a year now, split up with an American I was living with as he could not get a visa and then my ex husband took my son from me and barely allows me any contact. My doctor had me on Escitalopram for three years which did not help at all but gave me Lorazepam during those whole three years which helped take off the anxiety and then he stopped it. I want to go back on it just until I can get on Citalopram which always worked wonderful in the past but he is digging his heels in now. So I am stuck!!!!! As I end up on 40mg of Citalopram in the end it takes about 4 months for me to get well and the benzo always helped get me there, I do not get why he put me on Escitalpram and knew it was not working and prescribed the benzo and then took it from me, if he gave me it back I have proved in the past I got off it as soon as I was well with no wd probs at all. But he took me off it this time when my AD was just doing nothing!! And after so so long! But I totally get those irrational thoughts, sadly my marriage broke up, he could not handle me and then used my illness to steal my 12 year old and he is poisoning him against me. I rarely ever get to talk to him and have one visit every three weeks, you'd get more time for battering a kid than suffering with depression and anxiety. Hope everyone feels better soon as Citalopram is such a good drug and I am so mad I let a doctor take me off it and put m on what he claimed was a better version. But Lexapro was pants!!!

[pollynewsome]

Awww KarenP sounds so horrible what you are going through! Can you not see a different doctor and explain the situation.. Im lucky enough to have a really good doctor who is working with me..
Im 19 days at 20mg and at times think yay its working and then at other times think omg i feel so much more worse!! I am going to hold out though for another 2 weeks and see how i feel then. Keep strong KarenP i know its so hard though, x