kennakins
24-04-16, 05:06
Hi Everyone,
I just joined like.. well 5 minutes ago! I've been struggling with anxiety for a long time now, I believe it's been about 12 years now. It started as these really bad anxiety attacks that would sometimes come out of nowhere, but usually would come from my catastrophic thinking(therapy word, yay!). I sought help after my family thought it was most likely anxiety, luckily my family is very understanding and helpful, I used to have depression since I was about 13 which I truly believe morphed into anxiety around 20. I understand a lot about my anxiety now, like what triggers it... when I get really sick, when my asthma flairs up and I feel I can't breathe, when a family member gets sick, and the topic of this post.. Traveling by myself.
I'm not sure why that last ones triggers it, I can't pinpoint as to why I get this way unlike the other triggers. I mean, I've studied abroad in Japan by myself.. flew to Europe by myself and yet.. certain times when I think of traveling by myself I find myself the night before with my stomach in knots, the sudden wave of heat and tingly skin washing over me. I can usually taper it down quite a bit, I honestly think most of it is like.. anxiety about anxiety? haha does that happen to anyone? I'm literally like sitting here tonight, thinking of my flight tomorrow and wishing and hoping that I don't have an anxiety attack at some point this week.
It's so frustrating.. having anxiety about having anxiety! I don't want this. I want to just feel happy and excited. I love travel. I love experiencing new places, new sights, new food. I mean i'm not doing anything super exciting, just traveling to another state for some training for work for the week. But i'm excited for this education my company paid for! But all I can seemingly think about is how I hope one of these nights this week.. when I get back from training and i'm at my hotel room, I hope I don't have a panic attack.
I think another thing is like.. being alone when I have an attack always scares me, I always think like.. omg what if I like pass out.. or like die or something?! I usually call somebody and make them talk to me, if counting random stuff doesn't stop my attack. But what if this panic attack never ends.. like I won't get any sleep and I won't be able to go to class the next day and my company will be so pissed and I'll hate myself for missing a class. Woo.. see there goes that horrible thinking. I mean I honestly think just writing this out is helping me...
Haha, wow, sorry for the long post... I guess i'm just scared and anxious and feel stupid for having this anxiety. I normally have my anxiety pretty well under control, and I hate that this still happens, I don't want to have this anymore. Anyone have any thoughts for me or tips?
Thank you :weep:
I just joined like.. well 5 minutes ago! I've been struggling with anxiety for a long time now, I believe it's been about 12 years now. It started as these really bad anxiety attacks that would sometimes come out of nowhere, but usually would come from my catastrophic thinking(therapy word, yay!). I sought help after my family thought it was most likely anxiety, luckily my family is very understanding and helpful, I used to have depression since I was about 13 which I truly believe morphed into anxiety around 20. I understand a lot about my anxiety now, like what triggers it... when I get really sick, when my asthma flairs up and I feel I can't breathe, when a family member gets sick, and the topic of this post.. Traveling by myself.
I'm not sure why that last ones triggers it, I can't pinpoint as to why I get this way unlike the other triggers. I mean, I've studied abroad in Japan by myself.. flew to Europe by myself and yet.. certain times when I think of traveling by myself I find myself the night before with my stomach in knots, the sudden wave of heat and tingly skin washing over me. I can usually taper it down quite a bit, I honestly think most of it is like.. anxiety about anxiety? haha does that happen to anyone? I'm literally like sitting here tonight, thinking of my flight tomorrow and wishing and hoping that I don't have an anxiety attack at some point this week.
It's so frustrating.. having anxiety about having anxiety! I don't want this. I want to just feel happy and excited. I love travel. I love experiencing new places, new sights, new food. I mean i'm not doing anything super exciting, just traveling to another state for some training for work for the week. But i'm excited for this education my company paid for! But all I can seemingly think about is how I hope one of these nights this week.. when I get back from training and i'm at my hotel room, I hope I don't have a panic attack.
I think another thing is like.. being alone when I have an attack always scares me, I always think like.. omg what if I like pass out.. or like die or something?! I usually call somebody and make them talk to me, if counting random stuff doesn't stop my attack. But what if this panic attack never ends.. like I won't get any sleep and I won't be able to go to class the next day and my company will be so pissed and I'll hate myself for missing a class. Woo.. see there goes that horrible thinking. I mean I honestly think just writing this out is helping me...
Haha, wow, sorry for the long post... I guess i'm just scared and anxious and feel stupid for having this anxiety. I normally have my anxiety pretty well under control, and I hate that this still happens, I don't want to have this anymore. Anyone have any thoughts for me or tips?
Thank you :weep: