Traveling Alone...

[kennakins]

Hi Everyone,

I just joined like.. well 5 minutes ago! I've been struggling with anxiety for a long time now, I believe it's been about 12 years now. It started as these really bad anxiety attacks that would sometimes come out of nowhere, but usually would come from my catastrophic thinking(therapy word, yay!). I sought help after my family thought it was most likely anxiety, luckily my family is very understanding and helpful, I used to have depression since I was about 13 which I truly believe morphed into anxiety around 20. I understand a lot about my anxiety now, like what triggers it... when I get really sick, when my asthma flairs up and I feel I can't breathe, when a family member gets sick, and the topic of this post.. Traveling by myself.

I'm not sure why that last ones triggers it, I can't pinpoint as to why I get this way unlike the other triggers. I mean, I've studied abroad in Japan by myself.. flew to Europe by myself and yet.. certain times when I think of traveling by myself I find myself the night before with my stomach in knots, the sudden wave of heat and tingly skin washing over me. I can usually taper it down quite a bit, I honestly think most of it is like.. anxiety about anxiety? haha does that happen to anyone? I'm literally like sitting here tonight, thinking of my flight tomorrow and wishing and hoping that I don't have an anxiety attack at some point this week.

It's so frustrating.. having anxiety about having anxiety! I don't want this. I want to just feel happy and excited. I love travel. I love experiencing new places, new sights, new food. I mean i'm not doing anything super exciting, just traveling to another state for some training for work for the week. But i'm excited for this education my company paid for! But all I can seemingly think about is how I hope one of these nights this week.. when I get back from training and i'm at my hotel room, I hope I don't have a panic attack.

I think another thing is like.. being alone when I have an attack always scares me, I always think like.. omg what if I like pass out.. or like die or something?! I usually call somebody and make them talk to me, if counting random stuff doesn't stop my attack. But what if this panic attack never ends.. like I won't get any sleep and I won't be able to go to class the next day and my company will be so pissed and I'll hate myself for missing a class. Woo.. see there goes that horrible thinking. I mean I honestly think just writing this out is helping me...

Haha, wow, sorry for the long post... I guess i'm just scared and anxious and feel stupid for having this anxiety. I normally have my anxiety pretty well under control, and I hate that this still happens, I don't want to have this anymore. Anyone have any thoughts for me or tips?

Thank you :weep:

[ServerError]

I'm going to throw in my two pennies' worth on this one as I can very much relate, and I can tell you that things can and do improve if you take the right steps. I recently went to Iceland alone and had no choice but to take anxiety and panic with me.


It's so frustrating.. having anxiety about having anxiety! I don't want this. I want to just feel happy and excited. I love travel. I love experiencing new places, new sights, new food. I mean i'm not doing anything super exciting, just traveling to another state for some training for work for the week. But i'm excited for this education my company paid for! But all I can seemingly think about is how I hope one of these nights this week.. when I get back from training and i'm at my hotel room, I hope I don't have a panic attack.

This paragraph sums up the conflict at the heart of anxiety. it starts off with the frustration the condition causes, then moves on to the things you enjoy, then returns to the anxiety with a reference to panic. It also features anticipatory anxiety and 'what if' thinking. I felt the same when I travelled. And in fact, as soon as I arrived in Reykjavik, I had a panic attack. It passed, though. What you need to do as far as I'm concerned is accept that these feelings you have aren't going to evaporate in the next five minutes, but also realise that they can't harm you. I mean really really get that message into you. You still won't want to have a panic attack, but you'll suffer so much less if you can accept your situation as it is at this moment in time.


I think another thing is like.. being alone when I have an attack always scares me, I always think like.. omg what if I like pass out.. or like die or something?! I usually call somebody and make them talk to me, if counting random stuff doesn't stop my attack. But what if this panic attack never ends.. like I won't get any sleep and I won't be able to go to class the next day and my company will be so pissed and I'll hate myself for missing a class. Woo.. see there goes that horrible thinking. I mean I honestly think just writing this out is helping me...

How much research have you done around panic attacks? The thing is, although they're horrible, they're just paper tigers. They cannot hurt you. You will not die. You won't pass out. Anxiety and panic stops you from doing absolutely nothing in your life, if you're prepared to take those feelings with you for the time being. Truly knowing, deep down, that these unpleasant sensations are just adrenaline and that you won't come to any harm is a liberating feeling. I felt awful most of the time I was in Iceland. But I still had an amazing trip in a beautiful country. Why? Because I wasn't scared. I no longer add fear to moments of panic.

Unfortunately, I can't offer you any practical tips on how to feel better. The principles of CBT and possibly medication can be helpful. But given that nothing will lift anxiety immediately, I really do advocate the idea of acceptance put forward by the likes of Claire Weekes and Paul David. It helped me get back on my feet and made sure I went to Iceland.

You won't come to any harm even if you do have a panic attack, so why allow this temporary feeling to stop you doing what you clearly love to do?

I'm planning a trip this summer. It'll be solo again, and I expect to still be an anxiety sufferer. But actually, I won't be a sufferer. I'll simply allow whatever feelings come to rise and fall, or rise and stay if they want to. Meanwhile, my focus will be on enjoying my experience.

I wish you all the best!

[pulisa]

This is a wonderful post, server error and full of brilliant advice and insight. I also suffer from constant adrenaline/anxiety symptoms when away from home but you just have to carry on and not give them much attention. It is very hard when breathing is affected but the symptom is generated by the sufferer and not due to a physical cause although this is hard to believe. As a carer I can't ask for help from anyone else so have to just get on with it.

---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:43 ----------

I wish you all the very best, kennakins!

[Seffie]

Just wanted to say that this is what I experience too, excellent post by server error and I also use Claire Weekes advice but it can be hard at times, it's a work in progress but I also refuse to let it stop me doing what I want as otherwise I would just slip into agoraphobia. It's hard because you still go and do things but sometimes it feels like an ordeal to get through rather than being able to relax and enjoy it. I also get the anticipatory anxiety but cope with it by using mindfulness and telling myself 'I'm alright in this moment now' and telling myself that if panic or palpitations etc happen then I just need to let it happen and not add 2nd fear and it will ease off, it always does because adrenaline can't be produced forever. It can feel like that when it comes in waves but it always ends at some point.
Claire Weekes says not to hope it doesn't happen as this will invite it anyway but to hope that it does and be ok about that because then you get a chance to practice acceptance.. The times that I have managed this I didn't panic because I wasn't afraid of it happening! That's the crazy thing about panic attacks, don't fear them and they don't happen as much!
Good luck with your trip - it's the old expression - feel the fear and do it anyway!
Seffie

[icingsugar]

Hi, I'm not sure I will be much help, because actually I began getting panic attacks while studying abroad in Italy (I'm from the UK), and I began travelling alone to cities in the country like Florence, Parma and Milan, and these were the only times I actually felt sane and normal for once.

I would sometimes feel a little anxious when the train started, but by the time I ended up in the city, I was so busy with my own list of things to do, I would momentarily be able to forget about panic attacks etc. Maybe it was because I was away from people I know, and so wouldn't be embarassed by an attack, or just because I was in unknown territory and was constantly busy and distracting myself.

I wonder if there is something about travelling which makes you particularly anxious, like being in an enclosed space in a train or bus, or being around people? I understand it can be nerve wracking the day before, but once you manage to completely distract yourself it should be fine :yesyes:

From personal experience, I found travelling alone really freeing...remember if you honestly needed help there would be plenty of people willing to help out ...but if you busy yourself enough it should be fine.

[kennakins]

Thank you all so much for your wonderful replies. Special shot out to ServerError for your awesome advice. :) I just got back from my trip Friday night and I'm happy to announce I didn't have a single panic attack! Naturally I was anxious Sunday before my flight and Monday while learning the lay of the land and whatnot. But I got through it, accepted that I have anxiety and that these feelings I have are experienced by many people in the same situation. But I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to the fullest and I'm so glad I didn't let my anxiety get the best of me.

THANK YOU!!! :D