terrified of phone bringing bad news

[traciec39]

I have suffered with panic for 12 years now, but never untill now have i felt depressed.
2 weeks ago my mum had a mini stroke from which she is recovering now, and staying with my sister. It was so scarey as she had fallen at home and was dehydrated, the ambulance took us to hospital with sirens blaring.
After a ct scan they discovered what had happened and gave her aspirin daily.
Last year my dad woke up one morning feeling unwell and we took him to a& e and he died there, after just 2 hours, it was such a shock, and i thought the same was going to happen to my mum.
Now though, i feel constantly scared, if my phone rings im so nervous incase its my sister telling me mums had a turn for the worst.
I wake each day after a restless nights sleep, feeling so terrified of what the day will bring......i cant see any light at the end of this tunnel.
Mums doing really well and has started going out, but she is suffering with jelly legs as she is scared she will collapse.

Why am i fearing the worst all the time? i feel like an unexploded bomb is stuck to me. I have left all the care to my sister as i really dont feel like i can cope at all and that makes me feel so guilty.

Sorry to burden you guys, but thanks for reading

tracie xxxx

[rosebud]

Hi Tracie

I really understand what your going through. When my mum and dad were ill i froze with terror everytime the phone rang its normal to feel that way when your worried. I its lovely to hear that your mum is doing well and she is bound to be worried and a bit wobbly but things will get better. It must have been awful losing your dad so suddenly i cant imagine. When things happen like this its only natural we are in a constant state of worry and anxiety but as your mum improves you will start to feel more relaxed. Don't beat yourself up about what you can and can't do all you can do is your best. I spent a long time doing that and it's not worth it. Look after yourself and let us know how things are going.
Love Traceyxxx

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I'm very much the same too. It's the depression side of the illness. We always expect the worst, so the phone ringing is automatically bad news rather than good news. Personally, I had a call in the middle of the night saying that my dad had had a heart attack.

Have you heard of Pavlov's dogs? It was a famous experiment where if the dogs acted in a certain way they were rewarded and if they acted in another way they were punished. They soon learned to act in such a way that they were constantly rewarded. What I'm saying is that our minds and bodies are reacting automatically. We associate the phone ringing with bad news, which is why we freeze with terror. We need to break the association in our minds. Does it take 21 days to create a new neural pathway in our minds and to inbed a new habit? It's tough, but that's the way to do it. Good luck.

[traciec39]

thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me xxx
Last night the phone rang at midnight, it was my sister, oh my god i thought my mum was very ill...... however it turns out my sisters ex had phoned the police and told them he had killed my sister, and the police were battering down her door thinking she was inside...
What a fright for all of us , more so my mum who is staying there.
I feel that at the moment god is testing me, ive spent the night up a my sisters giving them support.
Today i feel like crap, im exhausted and very nervous.

thanks again guys
luv tracie xxx