LavenderRain
25-04-16, 17:09
It seems like every time I completely conquer one thing my anxiety causes, another immediately pops up in its place. Right now I'm absolutely petrified of having a stroke. This worry has been in the back of my mind ever since my grandmother had one when I was 14, but she was under loads of stress and was an alcoholic. Other than that I don't think strokes run in my family.
The past two nights I have woken up shortly after I fell asleep with random pins and needles in my left hand that are so extreme they hurt and they don't go away for up to 15 minutes. My boyfriend tells me that its odd because I usually fall asleep before him and he says it doesn't seem like there is a cause for it because I don't sleep on my hand or clench my fist or do anything that could make it get the pins and needles sensation. It just happens for no reason and after it finally goes away my entire left arm feels weird and heavy and stiff and just kind of like its not mine or isn't right. This has happened 4 times now. The first time it was in my right hand and I actually do think it happened because I fell asleep on my arm. The second time was around the beginning of this month seemingly for no reason.. The other two times were last night and the night before, but last night was the worst. I woke up shortly after falling asleep and my entire body was shaking from head to toe. It wasn't shaking hard but to me it felt like there was a small earthquake going on or something, almost like every inch of my body was vibrating. As this bit started to stop I realized I had the extreme pins and needles sensation in my left hand. It took ages to go away and after it did my arm felt so weird and wrong that whenever I moved it I felt like I was going to vomit. I started panicking and considering going to the hospital but hospitals terrify me so I just went and took a shower to try and calm myself down. I had trouble walking and was shaking all over the place and stumbling, and everything just seemed wrong. I knew I was in my house but I felt like I was somewhere else and it felt like my brain just wasn't working right. I took a shower and my heart started racing for no reason, then when I got out I was still shaky and my arm still felt weird. It is now morning and I just woke up and my arm still feels like that. I have been suffering from a major lack of sleep lately and I've been feeling more exhausted than I thought possible, and this makes me even more terrified to sleep at night because I'm so scared of waking up to the pins and needles and having a stroke. I go to bed tired, I wake up tired, I'm tired in between. I have been disassociating almost constantly and it feels like I haven't even been here for like a month. I just got a tetanus shot a few days ago if that could have anything to do with it. They gave it to me in my left arm and my entire arm was so sore the next day I spent the whole day in bed crying. Logic tells me that if I was having a stroke it would have happened already and wouldn't drag on this long, but I was there when my grandmother had her stroke and I saw it happen and I rode in the ambulance with her and everything. She acted funny and kept talking about random stuff that didn't make sense for nearly a whole day, then had a seizure and drooled everywhere. Its been years and she's fine but she still has trouble with her mental functions and she has trouble talking and can hardly use the right side of her body. I am so scared and I do not want this to happen to me. I only just turned 21 last week. I probably just need to sleep a lot more or something but I am so scared. I'm seeing my doctor today about something else but will bring these things up to her. Any advice?
The past two nights I have woken up shortly after I fell asleep with random pins and needles in my left hand that are so extreme they hurt and they don't go away for up to 15 minutes. My boyfriend tells me that its odd because I usually fall asleep before him and he says it doesn't seem like there is a cause for it because I don't sleep on my hand or clench my fist or do anything that could make it get the pins and needles sensation. It just happens for no reason and after it finally goes away my entire left arm feels weird and heavy and stiff and just kind of like its not mine or isn't right. This has happened 4 times now. The first time it was in my right hand and I actually do think it happened because I fell asleep on my arm. The second time was around the beginning of this month seemingly for no reason.. The other two times were last night and the night before, but last night was the worst. I woke up shortly after falling asleep and my entire body was shaking from head to toe. It wasn't shaking hard but to me it felt like there was a small earthquake going on or something, almost like every inch of my body was vibrating. As this bit started to stop I realized I had the extreme pins and needles sensation in my left hand. It took ages to go away and after it did my arm felt so weird and wrong that whenever I moved it I felt like I was going to vomit. I started panicking and considering going to the hospital but hospitals terrify me so I just went and took a shower to try and calm myself down. I had trouble walking and was shaking all over the place and stumbling, and everything just seemed wrong. I knew I was in my house but I felt like I was somewhere else and it felt like my brain just wasn't working right. I took a shower and my heart started racing for no reason, then when I got out I was still shaky and my arm still felt weird. It is now morning and I just woke up and my arm still feels like that. I have been suffering from a major lack of sleep lately and I've been feeling more exhausted than I thought possible, and this makes me even more terrified to sleep at night because I'm so scared of waking up to the pins and needles and having a stroke. I go to bed tired, I wake up tired, I'm tired in between. I have been disassociating almost constantly and it feels like I haven't even been here for like a month. I just got a tetanus shot a few days ago if that could have anything to do with it. They gave it to me in my left arm and my entire arm was so sore the next day I spent the whole day in bed crying. Logic tells me that if I was having a stroke it would have happened already and wouldn't drag on this long, but I was there when my grandmother had her stroke and I saw it happen and I rode in the ambulance with her and everything. She acted funny and kept talking about random stuff that didn't make sense for nearly a whole day, then had a seizure and drooled everywhere. Its been years and she's fine but she still has trouble with her mental functions and she has trouble talking and can hardly use the right side of her body. I am so scared and I do not want this to happen to me. I only just turned 21 last week. I probably just need to sleep a lot more or something but I am so scared. I'm seeing my doctor today about something else but will bring these things up to her. Any advice?