So sick of feeling this way!

[orchidaloha]

This is my first post here and I'm posting because I need help. And support.

I have been suffering with bad anxiety and panic attacks for about a year and a half now. I have suffered and been susceptible to both my entire life, but for the most part it's very controlled, but in November 2015 I had a huge panic attack and I've struggled ever since. The whole period came on slowly with one stress after another and then I became basically an anxious, sick mess due to a very toxic work environment. During the peaks of my anxiety last year, I was taking medication every day for months straight and it was rare that I managed more than around 4 hours of sleep.

I finally got a new job, which I started at 2 weeks ago and I really like it, it's a huge breath of fresh air compared to my old job and early last week I even had moments where I felt like myself! I haven't felt that way in over a year and a half! When I got the job offer 4 weeks ago, I actually slept all through the night for over a week straight, that's something that I haven't done in so long, it was amazing! I also lasted 14 days without any kind of medication.

In addition to the new job, my life in general makes me very happy.

But, after feeling SO much better, the symptoms of anxiety came back and I had two bad panic attacks and managed to fight off a third. I also had 4 bad nights sleep-wise, which has left me feeling physically and mentally drained. I feel like I can't take much more of this! I guess I was hoping that once I quit the job, the anxiety would just go away and I would feel better. Wishful thinking, huh?!

I have a doctors appointment to see if there is anything physically wrong with me, but it's not until next week and so I wanted to post here to see if anyone had any experience with this kind of situation.

My biggest issue is the physical symptoms I get... I can be feeling completely fine and relaxed, and then out of nowhere, I get hit with the physical stuff. I have been to doctors (although my last appointment was around 5-6 months ago) and there doesn't seem to be anything actually wrong, but sometimes I feel SO sick that I can't imagine that it could be just anxiety causing all of this.

- Stomach issues: this is by far my biggest physical problem. I get intense nausea, stomach cramps, bowel problems, heartburn, bloating, trapped gas feeling. It's getting to the point where there is something wrong pretty much every day and I just don't see how doctors can say that there is nothing causing any of this!

- Headaches: mostly I wake up with them. They could be down to sinus and allergy issues and a dry environment, but I think anxiety makes them worse because they were never this bad or this frequent before the latest bout of anxiety

- Sleep: I don't usually have a problem falling asleep, it's staying asleep that's the issue for me. I wake up in the middle of the night sweating and feeling sick, and then I can't fall back asleep. Last week I woke up at 12:30am and didn't sleep at all after that. This can happen 2-3 times a week

- Derealization/brain fog/dizziness: I get this usually when I'm having a good day, which in turn makes me feel anxious and sick

- Facial tingling/gagging/mouth watering: I get this usually when I'm experiencing derealization and it makes me think I'm about to throw up... I haven't thrown up *knock on wood*, but it has triggered some pretty intense panic attacks

I find that one of the biggest problems I have lately is once I have an attack, it takes me weeks to get over it. It's like my body and mind are too exhausted to feel better, and I'm always on edge feeling like another attack is on its way. It's making all of this extremely exhausting to deal with at times.

Does anyone have any experience with these symptoms or this kind of situation? Any words of advice or support would be greatly appreciated!

[Holds1325]

All the symptoms you mentioned sound very common with anxiety. However it seems that you might have experienced mental trauma with your first panic attack and somehow your mind just isn't letting it go. It doesn't usually take too long to get rid of this but it seems as if you're just hanging onto it a bit longer.

Have you tried therapy? I see you have taken medications and perhaps the med you took wasn't the right one? There are always options when it comes to therapy and medication.

Also, do you have any hobbies, interests? Its best to take time to do these things, keep your mind off the anticipatory anxiety and overall doom feelings.

Everything will be fine and I'm sure this will all clear up eventually. In the meantime its best to work on what is causing these feelings.

Either way whatever you do to work on your anxiety will eventually work I believe :)

[Arran7225]

My stomach is always the first sign of an anxious time coming !!!

It's by far my most awful symptom.

[orchidaloha]

My stomach is always the first sign of an anxious time coming !!!

It's by far my most awful symptom.

Do you get stomach symptoms before anything else? Even before you start to mentally feel anxious?

---------- Post added at 08:29 ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 ----------


All the symptoms you mentioned sound very common with anxiety. However it seems that you might have experienced mental trauma with your first panic attack and somehow your mind just isn't letting it go. It doesn't usually take too long to get rid of this but it seems as if you're just hanging onto it a bit longer.

Have you tried therapy? I see you have taken medications and perhaps the med you took wasn't the right one? There are always options when it comes to therapy and medication.

Also, do you have any hobbies, interests? Its best to take time to do these things, keep your mind off the anticipatory anxiety and overall doom feelings.

Everything will be fine and I'm sure this will all clear up eventually. In the meantime its best to work on what is causing these feelings.

Either way whatever you do to work on your anxiety will eventually work I believe :)

Thank you for the reply!

I think what I'm struggling with right now is just knowing that what has been causing my anxiety over the past ~18 months has all been dealt with. So now I feel as though I'm just kind of waiting to feel better and it's not happening yet.

I do have hobbies and interests and I'm trying to really dive into them, but the symptoms I get from anxiety sometimes make it really hard.

I have tried therapy and I find that it has helped and for the most part, it's really toned down the really bad attacks I was getting, and it has helped to make them less frequent. I have tried different medications and honestly, I didn't like any of them. I don't like taking medications and I take enough of them for other things that I try not to add to the list. Also, I have controlled my anxiety really well before this latest outbreak so I feel as though I should be able to do this without medication.

I think you're right with the mental trauma. Some of the attacks I have had, have been so bad and almost out of nowhere that they have really left me feeling shaken up. I had one out of nowhere on the beach in Hawaii a couple of months ago and it really upset me. I was feeling great until that point! I need to let go of what has happened in the past I guess.

Also, I find I do things like "I shouldn't go there/do this/wear that, because I had a bad attack last time I did". I know it's ridiculous so I'm really trying to disassociate certain things with anxiety.

[Holds1325]

I got through mine without medication. I tried medication at first both benzos and antidepressants but they made it worse for me. They work for others just not for me.

Anxiety will come on unexpectedly and sometimes its like you're just anticipating it all day and just waiting for that huge reaction of panic. Its best to just move on and not worry about it. Easier said than done but it can be done.

The brain or really the mental thinking process has been traumatized by these events so it tries to make sense of things by associating different physical surroundings. I had a huge panic attack during the summer once while it was very hot outside. For awhile, anytime it was hot outside I was just in constant fear and distress and of course, felt much better on rainy cloudy days.

Anyhow it still tries to come on to me nowadays. Even yest evening I was sitting on my sofa and doom, fear panic tried clouding over me, like a storm brewing, I could almost visualize it and I could definitely feel it. So I did just that, felt it, thought hmm thats anxiety right there, then moved on, kept trying to happen but did I give in? Nope.

Someone on here likened it to an addiction almost, you just have to resist the urge to react to the fear and eventually it loses its hold on you. It doesn't take long to practice this and eventually I'm sure you'll get over it :)