BadluckJ
25-04-16, 22:42
Hi guys, I'll give you a quick run down, i've had panic attacks and severe anxiety since I was 13. Bad. I mean 5+ attacks a day in my younger years. I had beat it for years, about 9 in fact, of course anxiety was there, but I controlled it. 22, I had a relapse for about a few months and I beat that until now, 26. I recently got bed-ridden sick for days and this all spiraled out of control, I had a bad panic attack and I got traumatized and here I am in this loop. Only this time, I am severely depressed. I feel like there is no hope, I feel so guilty for not being able to be my happy self I was just two weeks ago and enjoy my family. I feel like how many more distractions can I possibly throw on the plate, that I haven't already tired to make this go away? I'm getting Chronic Hyperventilation Syndrome.. I'm dizzy and lightheaded all day and I feel weak.. I literally can't stand it. It's all in my head and I can't escape it.. is it going to be like this forever? Will I never again enjoy my life? I had so many dreams and now I am reduced to a man who literally can't do anything without feel like trash. I try and go to the gym, I try and go out into life and be social but it's always there.. It's so hard to distract myself from taking that deep breath, now I am getting health anxiety worried I am destroying my body and it's a vicious loop.... the only peace I get is the wee hours before I fall asleep because I knwo at least for a few hours I won't have to suffer. I can't take this. Im so angry and depressed...this black cloud over my life once again and this time I'm worried I just can't beat it.. I'm always going to feel this way.