I cant stop subvocalizing every thought.

[LiveAboveIt]

This has never been an issue for me before. During this last course of Citalopram and during its withdrawal/reinstatement, I am constantly subvocalizing every thought. Its almost as if I am reading from a page and I cant stop mouthing the thoughts or moving my vocal cords during thought, this also makes the thoughts seem extremely loud.

I feel like I am going mental because this doesnt feel natural at all. Sometimes I will echo something I have just said, via subvocalization or mouthing it.

Ive never had issues with this before meds and its freaking me out, it carried over a month into withdrawal as well, so Im worried its permanent.

[LiveAboveIt]

Anyone else ever had this?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, I went through a stage of this myself years ago when the anxiety was really bad.

Repeating can be a compulsion in OCD. Also, feeling the urge to vocalise a thought, badger someone to repeat what they said even though you heard it, repeat things you hear someone say (or off the TV), etc.

[LiveAboveIt]

Im so glad to hear that somebody else does this. Now that I know it can be normal for high anxiety, I hardly notice it anymore. Fear really does mess with you.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, I know what you mean because as I learned to accept my OCD I found it naturally reduced a bit. Basically, I wasn't fighting with myself quite as much or fearing I was losing my mind.

I think when you are so sensitised, your reactions are a real problem. Some people seem to dart from one symptom yo the next and panic, some get stuck on certain ones. I'm more in the latter camp although my anxiety would find any physical sensation a threat. It was a matter of learning that what you feel is ok and not everything is a product of anxiety as it can just be how your body would feel under certain circumstances. It's tough though. This always gets easier though as you work on recovery.

[LiveAboveIt]

Yes, I know what you mean because as I learned to accept my OCD I found it naturally reduced a bit. Basically, I wasn't fighting with myself quite as much or fearing I was losing my mind.

I think when you are so sensitised, your reactions are a real problem. Some people seem to dart from one symptom yo the next and panic, some get stuck on certain ones. I'm more in the latter camp although my anxiety would find any physical sensation a threat. It was a matter of learning that what you feel is ok and not everything is a product of anxiety as it can just be how your body would feel under certain circumstances. It's tough though. This always gets easier though as you work on recovery.

I completely agree, but how do I apply this to the subvocalizing? I cant find much information on it as far as anxiety is concerned, which is making it difficult for me to come to accept it as a byproduct of anxiety because I have this irrational fear that it is a neurological issue.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's probably the wording that is different. What you described might fall close to repeating statements, asking others to repeat what they said, etc. You will find these on OCD sites, they perhaps are a little less common though.

Well that's closer to the core belief issue, fearing more serious mental illness and the subvocalizing is just getting attached to that (and "attached core" as they seem to be termed). Think of petals, this can just be a petal attached to something of a greater concern to you which may be the fear of a neurological issue.

I know what you are thinking. You are probably thinking about people you have seen who walk around talking to themselves because of more complex & severe mental health issues. I see them too. I've had the thoughts about whether than might end up being me, but it won't be. That's just the fight or flight looking for risks again and trying to combat them to protect you.