Booboo111
27-04-16, 13:48
The thing I hate most, besides always feeling afraid, is the fact that I always seem to slip backwards, even after seeing a doctor. I wouldn't say that I don't believe when they tell me I am ok or they aren't concerned about whatever issue it is that I am there for... I just often find myself worried about whatever it is that I already got reassurance for. And that really makes me mad!
Case in point - I just saw my dermatologist two weeks ago today for a full body check. There is a mole on my arm that I don't like and I asked him to look at it - twice. And he uses a dermascope, the survival tool that magnifies something 20x. He gave me the all clear. Yesterday I found myself looking at the mole and still not liking the small brown spot that is in it.... Who knows if it's been there forever. Then I started looking at one on my chest. I was stretching the skin out and sure enough I noticed the tiniest brownish speck that I've never seen before... But I've never "looked" that hard, either! Deep down I know I'm being pretty irrational, since I just saw the dermatologist 2 WEEKS AGO. Like, why do I torment myself?!
I. Hate. Health. Anxiety.
Going to CBT this afternoon for the first time in a month... Here's hoping for some progress and relief.
What do you hate the most about this horrible condition? Sometimes I feel like it's (almost) worse than a lot of our fears....
Case in point - I just saw my dermatologist two weeks ago today for a full body check. There is a mole on my arm that I don't like and I asked him to look at it - twice. And he uses a dermascope, the survival tool that magnifies something 20x. He gave me the all clear. Yesterday I found myself looking at the mole and still not liking the small brown spot that is in it.... Who knows if it's been there forever. Then I started looking at one on my chest. I was stretching the skin out and sure enough I noticed the tiniest brownish speck that I've never seen before... But I've never "looked" that hard, either! Deep down I know I'm being pretty irrational, since I just saw the dermatologist 2 WEEKS AGO. Like, why do I torment myself?!
I. Hate. Health. Anxiety.
Going to CBT this afternoon for the first time in a month... Here's hoping for some progress and relief.
What do you hate the most about this horrible condition? Sometimes I feel like it's (almost) worse than a lot of our fears....