Please tell me this is anxiety? Not slept at all

[KatiePink]

So for the last 3/4 days whenever I have tried to go to sleep, just at the point of falling into sleep I get this very weird sensation in my chest and upper abdomen as if it is sinking or being pressed and my body jerks me awake, I don't always 'jerk' but I do twitch awake, the feeling is as if I am drifting into death and my body makes me wake up.

This happened at least 80 times in a row last night and I've had no sleep at all, I was so exhausted I didn't even care what it was I just wanted to sleep but it wouldn't let up. It's like when my breathing slows down my body panics or something,

I was worrying about possible apnoea however it's unlikely as I'm slim, young and don't snore at all?
But it does feel like I've stopped breathing or my heart's stopping, I'm going out of my mind I need my sleep :weep:

---------- Post added at 07:33 ---------- Previous post was at 07:32 ----------

Also when I get in bed and get comfy I feel the need now to keep something moving like tapping my fingers on my leg or stomach basically not staying still

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know nothing about apnoea but I do know that a sensation of falling, body jerks, etc can all be experienced by anyone as they are a known sleep phenomena. They occur in the Hypnagogia (when falling asleep and within 2 hours of falling asleep) and Hypnopompia (waking) stages of sleep. Whilst they are not connected to anxiety, anxiety can make them more frequently experienced.

I had them myself. I've always found that jerks are something I have when my anxiety is at it's higher stages and it goes once you reach a less intense stage.

From the fidgeting it also sounds like you are a bit restless. That could be due to adrenaline or perhaps if your thoughts are racing. This is a very common one in anxiety whether sitting, lying or anything else as we struggle to relax and simply "be", the thing that Mindfulness element of your CBT course (it's one of your modules isn't it? or have I got that wrong?) is teaching.

Worrying about losing control to fall asleep is one I've experienced too. It's just the uncertainty, fear of loss of control issues that come with these disorders. It will go the more you work on yourself like many other symptoms. Try to accept that it's a normal process and your body has been handling it since birth and will continue too. Try to let go of the control.

Your body will make you sleep when it needs it but I hope you get some better sleep tonight and this improves for you, I hated it when I couldn't even get that to keep my strength up.

[KatiePink]

Yeah I mean I've something similar in the past the odd time but this is constant and more severe, it is as soon as I try to or start to fall asleep. When or if I do get any sleep I don't wake up, that I know of, I think when it first happened it made me panic and on some level I could be causing it subconsciously as I'm 'waiting' for it to happen again, I don't know but I certainly need to get it stopped sleeping is my passion haha!

Yes the mindfulness 'staying present' is a big part of my CBT and learning to just be, let go and be still will be probably my biggest challenge yet as that is when the panic sets in and I become hyper aware.

I suppose on some level I've convinced my mind that I'm only 'alive' if I'm moving, but when I'm still that's danger. The need to 'try and breathe' when in bed really gets me, its not like a natural breath more as though I am controlling it and if I stop then I will stop breathing, its so exhausting.

I need to work on relaxation before bed, and ultimately learning to be still and calm, and retraining my thoughts to accept that I won't 'die' or stop breathing by letting go

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, definitely work on a routine for bed. I found reading worked well for me.

Yep, waiting for it to happen because it has scared you before. That's exactly how I felt about it years ago when I went through it. I was holding onto myself. I even went through a stage of trying to understand how to fall asleep and fought it constantly.

[KatiePink]

Eurgh i fell back to sleep this morning after around an hour of listening to meditation videos on my phone, but it was not a peaceful sleep i kept waking feeling as though i couldn't get a breath and my chest felt heavy, anyway i missed my CBT appointment :doh: not that i would have been able to function through it anyway, thankfully my therapist is understanding,

I feel like i'm walking around in a dream, don't feel awake properly and suddenly very aware of my tongue(it feels too big for my mouth) could that be down to anxiety?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, that tongue too big for your mouth one is a classic anxiety issue. You will see it mentioned all over the place.

Rest up as best you can. Hopefully you will be tired enough to just drop off and stay asleep tonight.

[KatiePink]

Thought as much, i am determined more than ever to make progress, nothing disturbs my sleep and get's away with it :roflmao:

I never thought i would get all of this from anxiety, i used to read others stories and be like wow they have it real bad, couldn't imagine me having those issue's, oh ek.