Panicked

[elik]

I feel so trapped. I need an honest opinion if there is any hope to escape from this intrusive, harrowing and messed up thinking. It feels like I've been cornered and am fighting a battle every day that is destroying my life. It's not like I can talk to anyone about it because they would be completely confused. I could just see it as thoughts but there is something so inbuilt that I keep questioning why I am such a weirdo and that I need this to stop before something dreadful happens.

[CArl_34_m_UK]

I'm feeling this right now. I can't even begin to explain my thoughts at the moment. I feel like I've lost all control. I can't live like this. I'm just a shell with the most insane mental thoughts. It's not a 'life'. Just because I'm alive doens't make it a life. Why do our minds have to turn on us like this

[elik]

It's truly horrific, as soon as I feel I'm going somewhere I'm thrown back and feel like I'm completely powerless to it all no matter what angle I take on it. I feel for you it's horrible

[Buster70]

Hi , I'm going through a bad patch myself but it can get better I've been in the bottom of the pit before and come through and had many good years just hang in there like I'm trying to now , currently sitting in my van down a lane getting dark and don't want to face going home for anther bad night but I haven't lost hope yet , take care

[elik]

Sorry to hear that, I have had many dark and light moments, but the dark moments seem to over rule me and I worry about impacts it has on my life and panic as I care so much that I'm always doing the right thing and don't think I act how I truly am because I spend my time trying to be the better version of me

[Buster70]

Nothing wrong with being caring and trying to be a better person but you have to put yourself first somtimes , I always try to be a good person who would help a stranger , the problem I have now I wonder if it came to somthing serious would I panic and bottle out of doing the right thing , think I was a lot braver before my anxiety got bad , could do with a break from me , hope you have a better day today .

[elik]

But I just go through so many anxiety spells which question me as a person and leave me feeling very insecure. When I feel more 'rational' I seem to put fragments of my life together to feel more confident but then got knocked with another bout of anxiety leaving me back at square one. Therefore I don't ever make progress and because of the trust and confidence I've lost in myself to be 'ok' I don't want to take on big responsibilities or transitions in my life because I don't know if I'll be able to cope because I can't seem to gain power over when anxiety strikes. Although over the years I have been taught and used so many different methods to reduce anxiety, nothing rids me of it until the 'storm is over'. I just have to surf that wave and it seems so belittling that I can't just switch it off when I know all it is is anxiety!!!