Morning DREAD

[Chinaski85]

Since a month ago when my symptoms and extreme anxiety with them appeared I've developed a distinct behavioral pattern that sets the tone for another day full of dread and panic...

When I wake up in the morning I seem to be pretty much fine for the first 20 seconds or so before my conscious processes really set in. But as soon as I feel a little hint of a symptom a HUGE wave of dread overflows me - terrible images invade my brain and all of my symptoms flare up which in turn causes more panic which follows me around for the rest of the day, usually getting worse by the hour.

Even if this pattern of waking up is relatively new it works like a swiss watch now. It never fails to appear at exactly the same time to wreak havoc and Im affraid that even if it turns out Im physically healthy (still waiting for the tests), its gonna stay with me for the rest of my fearful life.

Anybody else has that? Any ideas on how to break the cycle?

[chatty girl]

I know what you mean. On the rare occasion that I have day or few days where I am worry free & pretty normal suddenly my anxiety almost says hey hold on a fricking minute dont go getting to complacent! Just like the dreaded day 2 weeks ago with my bowels!!! Xx

[Mojo61]

Oh yes, this is very, very common with anxiety! I get it every morning and it is HORRIBLE. I think it is known as anticipatory anxiety and just goes to show you how our thoughts can affect our feelings and emotions and actually bring on the symptoms we are so desperate to avoid. Before my anxiety started last year I never woke up feeling like this, I always woke early but I was calm and didn't even think about anxiety. I hate the feeling with a passion and just hope that eventually my meds and CBT will be able to stop it, or at least make it more bearable.

[Josh1234]

My mornings are the worst.

[Mojo61]

I wonder if it ever goes away?

[ServerError]

I can go to bed feeling great and wake up feeling like I can't face the day. The mornings have some kind of power over me.

Like all aspects of anxiety, it can be changed. I'm making changes to my life that I believe are central to my problems and will hopefully tackle those morning feelings.

[Chinaski85]

I had quite a lovely evening yesterday and relaxed for the first time in two weeks only to wake up this morning absolutely drenched in fear...needles to say it only went downhill from there. I feel terribly nauseated throughout the day, cant eat, had a massive panic attack and am conviced im in last stages of pancreatic or colon cancer.

How the hell am I going to make it to May the 13th for my ultrasound??

Im almost starting to feel suicidal. Im positive im really sick. Might as well save everybody some trouble

[Beckybecks]

Most people seem to have similar experiences with morning panic, anxiety and depression And yet come evening we feel positive and as though we can tackle anything. We make plans, only to wake up the following morning to the same awful dread and we say, what was I thinking last night? I can't cope....I can't do this or that.....

What I've discovered through experience is firstly that with panic attacks, they follow a routine. They are a bad habit of our minds.
If I have an attack at the supermarket next to the frozen chicken freezer, then for sure next time I'm in that position again, my mind tells me it's time to have another attack.

So likewise with early morning attacks. Same situation, same time, same place. The mind repeats the habit.

Also I've discovered that there are two hormones that our body releases called adrenaline and cortisol. I can't remember the details but anyone can google this, they are out of balance in the morning and especially with those f us suffering from anxiety already. So this would cause us to feel more anxiety or depression first thng.

For those of us who can take medication, this would be the time to do it. For myself I try to get busy immediately. No lying in bed! Go for a walk, do some housework, exercise, anything to get physically active.

It doesn't last forever. Once the anxiety is under control the hormones regain their balance and the mind forgets the bad habits.

Hope this is of help to someone.

[Mojo61]

You are so right Beckie! If I get up and moving around I seem to be able to shake it off a bit earlier. If I give in and stay in bed then it is with me most of the day until the evening when miraculously I become Mrs Normal again. I take my medicine the moment I wake up in the morning, I keep them by my bed with a glass of water so that I don't have to get up and go downstairs to get them. That way I can't procrastinate and think "oh, I'll do it later" I gave in this morning and stayed in bed until about 10.30am and I have spent the rest of this (beautiful) day laying on my sofa doing absolutely nothing. I HATE that, and I've told my son that come hell or high water we are going out somewhere tomorrow even if I have to fight my way through the bank holiday traffic!

[Josh1234]

I had quite a lovely evening yesterday and relaxed for the first time in two weeks only to wake up this morning absolutely drenched in fear...needles to say it only went downhill from there. I feel terribly nauseated throughout the day, cant eat, had a massive panic attack and am conviced im in last stages of pancreatic or colon cancer.

How the hell am I going to make it to May the 13th for my ultrasound??

Im almost starting to feel suicidal. Im positive im really sick. Might as well save everybody some trouble

whoa, cut that talk out! shit, at least hear what the doctor says first. if you had last stages of those diseases, you'd be in hospice care, about 60lbs lighter than you currently are. you are so scared of death, you're gonna kill yourself? what sense does that make?!:scared15:

[Chinaski85]

whoa, cut that talk out! shit, at least hear what the doctor says first. if you had last stages of those diseases, you'd be in hospice care, about 60lbs lighter than you currently are. you are so scared of death, you're gonna kill yourself? what sense does that make?!:scared15:

None, I know. And I hate myself for saying it. But everything is becoming unbearable. If Im really as ill as I think I am I simply couldnt bear it.

[Mojo61]

Josh is right; if you were in the final stages of pancreatic or colon cancer you wouldn't be able to sit at a computer and write out a perfectly coherent post, you would be in too much agony and probably confined to bed writhing in pain. It is health anxiety that is causing your irrational thoughts. Are you having counselling or taking any meds for this condition?

[Chinaski85]

Josh is right; if you were in the final stages of pancreatic or colon cancer you wouldn't be able to sit at a computer and write out a perfectly coherent post, you would be in too much agony and probably confined to bed writhing in pain. It is health anxiety that is causing your irrational thoughts. Are you having counselling or taking any meds for this condition?

No, as HA, at least in this acute form is relatively new to me. I had heart related panic attacks and occasional bouts of anxiety in the past in my early and mid twenties, but then I was fine for 5 years.

Now, since a month ago with the sudden onslaught of these horrible digestive symptoms that keep getting worse (nausea, loss of weight, cramps, weird bowel movements, suspicious stools, dry mouth), I've completely deteriorated mentally due to constant fear and feelings of impending doom.

If I can make it to the 13th when I have my ultrasound (and later a colonoscopy and an endoscopy) and they tell me everything looks normal, which seems like an impossible scenario to me, I will gather my strength and pick a strategy to take care of my mental well being.

But since my body keeps on telling me (for over a month) that something is really wrong I cant even consider this to be anything more than wishful thinking.

I appreciate your replies though, each and every one. Thank you.