Cannot stop thinking I will die young =(

[Reala]

Ever since I was about 15 (29 now) I've been sure I would die young. I don't know why, I just always have. Over the years, I have just jumped on the most likely thing that would result in my premature death.

When I was 15 I was sure I had cancer and throughout my 20s I decided I had just about every kind - stomach, testicular and so on. I boxed for about 10 years and recently gave up. I saw that film 'Concussion' (about head drama bringing on diseases like Dementia and such) and just can't help but think maybe that will be my fate. In my head, I know it is silly and that the symptoms I have at any given time are likely to be something else, but I just can't help but jump to the most scary conclusion. I also realise the irony, that by worrying about dying young I am wasting a lot of enjoyment I could have in my life .

In addition, I suffer with Social Anxiety. I really struggle to speak fluently when I'm around people I don't know. Even if I know what I want to say, I just can never really get it out.

I am sorry for the rather long introduction, I guess it just feels nice to share these things anonymously, when I'm so used to keeping them bottled up.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Reala and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Reala]

Hiya Reala and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

Thank you, it will be really nice to talk with people who can maybe understand. I can't talk to anyone in real life about this as it seems so silly. Looking around here, I am sure people will understand. Thank you.

[Arran7225]

Hey

I totally get you...... just the same!

seems a shame to give up something you clearly enjoy?

you have been fine the last ten years :yes yes:

What part of the uk are you from ?

Arran

[Reala]

Hello,

I don't think I could carry it on now, even if it turns out I am 100% fine. I just worry too much and also there are real risks with it. I know the people who have developed damage are typically those who have had around 100 fights (I had 8), but I just keep wishing I'd never even started it or never even had any fights so I didn't have to live with the worry. I know I'd probably just be worrying about something else... that's my personally, but it stresses me out so badly right now =( Every time I forget something or drop something I feel this must be a sign I've got some kind of brain damage - the other half tells me I'm stupid, but the first half just won't let me forget it.

I am from Somerset.

[Mrs_Lowe]

I too have that rational side of me telling me to stop over thinking things and then on the flip side I cant stop panicking about certain pains that might be turn out to be something fatal, its a hard cycle to break, but your not on your own.

[Reala]

I too have that rational side of me telling me to stop over thinking things and then on the flip side I cant stop panicking about certain pains that might be turn out to be something fatal, its a hard cycle to break, but your not on your own.

Thank you - the support means a lot.