Reala
01-05-16, 14:30
Ever since I was about 15 (29 now) I've been sure I would die young. I don't know why, I just always have. Over the years, I have just jumped on the most likely thing that would result in my premature death.
When I was 15 I was sure I had cancer and throughout my 20s I decided I had just about every kind - stomach, testicular and so on. I boxed for about 10 years and recently gave up. I saw that film 'Concussion' (about head drama bringing on diseases like Dementia and such) and just can't help but think maybe that will be my fate. In my head, I know it is silly and that the symptoms I have at any given time are likely to be something else, but I just can't help but jump to the most scary conclusion. I also realise the irony, that by worrying about dying young I am wasting a lot of enjoyment I could have in my life .
In addition, I suffer with Social Anxiety. I really struggle to speak fluently when I'm around people I don't know. Even if I know what I want to say, I just can never really get it out.
I am sorry for the rather long introduction, I guess it just feels nice to share these things anonymously, when I'm so used to keeping them bottled up.
When I was 15 I was sure I had cancer and throughout my 20s I decided I had just about every kind - stomach, testicular and so on. I boxed for about 10 years and recently gave up. I saw that film 'Concussion' (about head drama bringing on diseases like Dementia and such) and just can't help but think maybe that will be my fate. In my head, I know it is silly and that the symptoms I have at any given time are likely to be something else, but I just can't help but jump to the most scary conclusion. I also realise the irony, that by worrying about dying young I am wasting a lot of enjoyment I could have in my life .
In addition, I suffer with Social Anxiety. I really struggle to speak fluently when I'm around people I don't know. Even if I know what I want to say, I just can never really get it out.
I am sorry for the rather long introduction, I guess it just feels nice to share these things anonymously, when I'm so used to keeping them bottled up.