Social anxiety ruining my days off

[Itsonlyme26]

Hi thanks for taking the time to read this and I appreciate it very much. I'm not going to do long intros so I'll go straight for it and hopefully I will get some decent answers , one can only hope. Basically social anxiety is ruining my days off from work and it is starting to ruin my normal days. When I have a day off from work , I get two days off , I never ever want to leave the house. I feel so anxious and self conscious. I always feel like people are looking at me and judging me for being overweight. I also ain't the worlds best dressed person. As I'm overweight I tend to wear black hoodies which make me look like a tram and of course more bigger than I am , black doesn't flatter big people. It's gotten to the point where I want to cry because I can't beat this feeling. It's so self destroying. I was bullied as a kid for being overweight and having man boobs. I guess it's fair to say I'm a recluse as my house is my 'safety place' , even my fiancé says this , it's totally true. Indoors I'm free from thinking people are looking at me and judging me. If I go out I'll think about these things and I will only get stressed out , angry or depressed. So it's really not worth risking it. I am getting help for this but nothing ever seems to work as I've been in this position for years now , being bullied has totally ruined my life. I've tried probably almost every self help book there is but I always end up back to square one. Please what can I do ? I'm tired of this

[Phuzella]

Get out for long walks. Walking is good for everything, exercise and lifting mood. Also you have a fiance so life ain't all bad :shades:

[Oosh]

Try and focus on the positive, likeable things you are and not the negative things (you feel) you are. If you can't think of any that's going to be part of the problem so list them and spend more time focusing on them.

"I don't feel I'm THIS me anymore, I feel I'm THIS (more positive) me"

Change your self image. Then maybe when you're in public you might start thinking people might see that positive you instead.

What good things do you know you could be for other people ? Why might they like you ? THATS you.

[NoPoet]

You should probably plan what to do with your free time (not just on your days off). If you don't have any plans agreed in advance, you will have no motivation to do anything. Setting yourself targets is one way of digging yourself out of a rut. Also, it sounds like you should read up on procrastination. In your situation the anxiety and procrastination are linked. Working on one of these problems will probably help the other as well.

[georgewing]

Well you are in a negative state of mind and you see only dark things from your life .Start practicing gratitude ,walk in nature and your area etc and remark all beautyful things from this life and you will be amazed how many you will find and be grateful for all you see ,this will change your focus from negative to pozitive and you will atract good things in your life .Also make law of attraction a daily ritual read about it as much as you can and master it because it helps a lot .Do this progresively and be perseverent and you will succed

[bluebottle]

Hello there. Bullying is soul destroying. I am sad that you were bullied. I can see how it has hurt you.
You sound a intelligent person and you are articulate.

May I ask if you have been in private therapy? It is my personal opinion that this is the most useful and precious gift a person can give to themselves.

I don't know you, so I apologise if anything I say feels insulting. I do not intend it to be in the slightest.

I am autistic. I thought I had "just" social anxiety for over 40 years. I was bullied at school and at work. So I am telling you this in order for you to see that my credentials are impressive.

Many people don't like being amongst other people. That is OK and normal. People are, in my opinion, exhausting. They can be ignorant and cruel. That is frightening. A handful can be life-affirming, that it energising. If we don't connect with the few, we will always believe we are abnormal. Society controls us by making us want to fit in. So how do you find your "tribe"? That is down to you. I would, as I've said, find a therapist. Good luck, you can do this.

PS: A cycle is a way I am able to be among the world with a lot less anxiety. Also earplugs and sometimes sun glasses.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well you are in a negative state of mind and you see only dark things from your life .Start practicing gratitude ,walk in nature and your area etc and remark all beautyful things from this life and you will be amazed how many you will find and be grateful for all you see ,this will change your focus from negative to pozitive and you will atract good things in your life .Also make law of attraction a daily ritual read about it as much as you can and master it because it helps a lot .Do this progresively and be perseverent and you will succed

Law of Attraction is a big problem with anxiety disorders, many of us already fear we are bringing situations on ourselves. So, I wouldn't recommend it.

Positive thinking is nothing like LoA.

I wouldn't mind attracting a winning lottery ticket win to myself...I wonder if that will work? :doh:

[bluebottle]

People will tell you their opinions. It is only their opinion. Your truth is your truth. Honour your truth.