Can't take much more

[Buster70]

Nearly three in the morning and wide away again havent had a good nights sleep since December , bad back kept me up for two months , then a month up with the dog ill untill he passed away now partners ill with another chest infection which because of her heart problems usually ends up pneumonia , add to this my own anxiety about my health I've been constantly tired and out of breath when walking or pretty much doing anything now ,had an ECG which had somthing wrong along with high blood pressure got an echocardiogram on Friday which I'm now thinking is going to be the last straw if anything is wrong I'm giving up any hope I used to have is now gone , can't go back to sleep as her coughing is worrying me sick , wish I had somone to talk to just to let it out I'm turning into a complete mess bottling it up , I work for myself but done much for weeks I just drive off and try and get some sleep in my van , had plans this year to improve things as we've had so many problems the last fôur years but it's turning out to be the same , sorry for the rant but I just need to vent a bit before I crack , all I get at docs is take anti depressants it was those that got me in this mess in the first place , or the Samaritans number , can't see any light at the end of the tunnel , can't run away from what's in my head , take care all.

[Shazamataz]

Sounds really rough for you.

Not sleeping is pure torture. I've been up and down with that myself the past few months and went weeks at a time with barely 4 hours sleep.

I don't have any advice but hope things start to improve for you soon

Take care

[pulisa]

Buster, you are dealing with such a lot and when physical and mental health problems are both affecting you immensely it's very hard to see a way through.

Firstly I'd suggest getting some urgent medical attention for your partner. If she's likely to develop pneumonia she really should be assessed as soon as possible today. You also need to find out what's going on with you so the ECG will hopefully answer a few questions and give you a definitive picture re your cardiac health.

As for your mental health, we all know how hard this can be to "fix" especially with all that's been going on. Losing your beloved dog must have made everything seem so much worse.

It's easier to get help for the physical problems. I do hope your day gets better and that you manage to get some restorative sleep.

[shiznit76]

You should see a different doc at your practice if you can and tell them everything that's been happening, hopefully then you might get some help.
Are you taking any meds just now?

[Buster70]

Hi , thanks for the replies , feel embarrassed I what I've posted in the night all true but feel like I'm wallowing in self pity , my partner is the opposit to me she already has the health problems has for a long time but she ignores it and carries on its nearly cost her her life on a few occasions I do the worrying for both of us , only meds I take now is diazepam and over the counter sleeping pills , had a break down last time I tried anti depressants and never really recovered , guess I'll just have to get through today and see how tomorrow goes , miss my dog so much , thanks

[shiznit76]

you looked in to getting another dog?

[Buster70]

Got my partners dog but she's never really been my dog and she doesn't want to go out now her leader has gone I have to shout her to get her to even think about walking she'd be happy to just go home the other dog was an alpha dog he'd protect her and any of the family she was cocky before because she had back up now she's scared of other dogs , going to wait and see if one finds us like he did seems disrespectful to look for one so soon can't replace him , cheers

[Buster70]

Took partner to docs this morning she has got pneumonia , just broke down crying at home been to see my doc and say in tears but there is no help for somone in my position it's either be sectioned if you are raving mad or be offered more pills , I'm falling apart with worry and there's nothing I can do even talked to partner who's also had enough about just ending things but she doesn't want to so I guess I'm going to have to hang around and rough it out , is there anything between crisis team and nothing , just need to talk to somone to let it out , she can't sleep for coughing and I can't for listening to make sure she's ok , I feel so messed up right now but I should be strong for her .